When Drake had announced she was pregnant you almost passed out. When the doctor informed you that it was, in fact, twins, you felt the room go black and woke up to some poncy twelve year old 'doctor' tapping your face in hopes it would rouse you from your unconscious state. At that time, Alex was just your DI who you were harbouring feelings for and had drunkenly slept with.
But, like you had when you'd found out you'd knocked your DI up, you eventually got over the shock of having twins. Sure, you were on the wrong side of 40 to be thinking about starting a family but what did that matter in the grand scheme of things?
Okay so maybe you were the oldest dad in the playground and people had, on several occasions, mistaken you for the twins' grandfather, but the second they were born, all red faced and gooey all your cares about what other folk might think had slipped away.
You had your son and you had your daughter and you had Bolly and nothing else in the world mattered.
Despite what you had adamantly told Bolls you would not do, you happily did your fair share of midnight feeds and changing shitty nappies and you had even taken a step back from work, coming home at a decent time of the night.
You'd popped the question when you first found out Alex was pregnant but she had shot you down claiming that you were only doing it because she was pregnant. And, in all fairness, a big part of finding out she was pregnant was the reason you had asked her.
But it didn't take you long to realise that you loved her, like really loved her. You were already in this relationship for the long haul and had kids so why not marry her? It might be nice to introduce Alex as your wife rather than your partner. Girlfriend just didn't seem right. You were too old for that kind of label and what you and Alex had was a lot more meaningful than that. And you certainly were not going to be her 'boyfriend'.
So when Shaz and Chris were babysitting Olivia and Ben, you, uncharacteristically, decided to cook Bolls a romantic dinner - candles, fancy wine, rose petals. The whole bloody shebang! You had even gotten down on one knee (which, at your age, was not an easy thing to do) and ended up nervously spewing your guts about how much you loved her and how happy she made you.
Good thing she accepted because the next week Alex found out she was pregnant again.
So nine months and a small, intimate wedding ceremony later, you once again find yourself holding a goo covered blob that's screeching like a banshee.
You were two years shy of fifty, you should not be elbow deep in sprogs and shitty nappies! And after Paige's arrival, you found yourself doing the majority of the work.
Post Natal Depression is what Alex had called it. You knew something was wrong when she cried all the time and didn't really seem to bond with Paige, but she just shrugged it off and said she had the baby blues. It wasn't till she ran away for the weekend that you both realised it was something serious.
Raising a newborn and two toddlers whilst your wife has a serious illness was probably the hardest thing you've ever had to do, but it gave you the chance to grow up. You have a special bond with those three that most fathers don't. Not that you're grateful Alex got sick... You're just grateful for the bond you have with the kids.
And, experiencing mental health first hand, watching as it destroyed somebody you loved, gave you a whole new outlook on it. Of course, you still made sarcastic comments about Bolls' psycho-twattery, but she knew that it was only to keep up appearances.
The kids grew up faster than you knew what to do with them. Liv had dark curly hair and bright blue eyes and when she was annoyed with you, Alex liked to point out that Liv and Ben weren't actually yours and that she and Ray had had "a mind blowing shagathon". She was only winding you up but Ray had copped it that week.
Unlike his twin sister, Ben had a mop of light brown hair and Alex's hazel eyes. You thank your lucky stars that they weren't identical because Alex had hit the roof when you had accidentally got them mixed up... Twice.
Paige had surprised everyone. She had been almost bald until she was 2 and then started sprouting bright red tuffets of hair. She had wide, round eyes which were ocean blue in colour.
"Yer bin foolin' around in a carrot patch, Lady Bolls?"
Of course, that comment had led to a massive argument and you buying the biggest, most expensive bunch of flowers and grovelling. You slept on the couch for the better part of a week and Alex only forgave you because some scumbag scrote got the better of you and put a gun to your head. (Your bruise free groin slap had gotten you out of that sticky situation!)
And then they started to get their own little personalities. Liv was over the top and was a drama queen and loved to put on little shows for you and Alex when she was little. Alex had joked she'd been bitten by the acting bug and had been proven right when the five year old came home begging to join the local theatre company. Your bank account has taken a nice blow since she started the Sylvia Young Theatre School, but everyone had chipped in and Liv had been working at Luigi's part time since she was 14 anyway.
When Ben was a baby, you couldn't wait for him to grow up so you could take him to football matches and sneak him his first beer without Alex knowing. But Ben wasn't really into football, or any kind of sport for that matter. He liked reading and gardening and puzzles. A stark contrast to the girl he shared a womb with. He was quiet and academic and kept to himself. Something he clearly did not inherit from him or his mouthy mother.
You'd often wondered if Ben was gay. After all, he didn't like sports and didn't seem to be interested in girls. You'd voiced this to Alex, something which you now know you should have phrased a little better. It was late in the evening and all the kids were in bed. You and Alex were lying on the sofa, her feet in your lap and you both half watched the TV after a long day at work.
"Yer fink 'e's a fairy?" You had asked lazily, having been unable to think about anything else all evening.
"Who?" Alex asked with a sigh, paying more attention to the television that to you.
"Ben"
"What makes you think that?" She asked, now paying full attention to you. Her tone was clipped and she was clearly unimpressed that you had just used the term 'fairy' in relation to your son.
"Well, I mean 'e ain't interested in wimmin"
"He's eight years old, Gene!" Alex rolled her eyes at you.
"He likes readin' an' 'e don't play footy-"
"-just because he prefers to read rather than kick a ball around a muddy field doesn't mean he is gay, Gene!" Alex sighed and rolled her eyes again. She did this so often you're surprised they haven't rolled all the back around by now. "And anyway, what does it matter if he is?!"
Oh shit, she's getting defensive and mad at you and that's not what you wanted to happen.
"It don't matter!" Now it's your turn to sigh. It really doesn't matter to you. "I'd still luv 'im an' be proud o' 'im anyway. 'E's me son" you watch as Alex becomes a little less angry and a smirk graces her pretty little face.
"Excuse me? Am I hearing this right?! You, Gene Hunt, are actually being dragged into the modern day? What happened to your sexism and rampant homophobia?!" She's quirked her brow and you know she's teasing, but there's still a part of you that knows she's being serious right now.
"S'different wen it's yer own kiddy" you'd shrugged. A lot had changed since you met Alex, most of it for the better. "I'm not sayin' I'm gonna go marchin' in any o' them poof parades wi' 'im but I ain't gonna luv 'im any less or treat 'im any differently just because 'e's an arse bandit!"
"You really need to expand your vocabulary!" Alex shook her head trying, and failing to hide her smirk. "I must finally be rubbing off on you!"
"Wish yer would, Bolls" you'd grinned, only to receive a well aimed cushion to the face.
And Paige? How did you even begin to describe that girl? She was like a weird mix of the four of you, as well as her own individual self. She loved singing and dancing like Olivia, but was incredibly smart like Ben. She was mouthy and defiant like her mother and hard and stubborn like you. Well, the whole household was stubborn as hell if you were being perfectly honest. She had more friends than she knew what to do with, and as cliché as it sounded; she was probably the most popular girl in the school.
With there being such a small age gap between the kids, just over a year, the three of them were incredibly close. Thick as thieves. The three musketeers. They were all fiercely protective of one another, which had resulted in you and Alex being called into the school over them getting into a fight with another pupil more times than they'd liked.
It also meant you were dealing with three hormonal teenagers at once. Oh what you wouldn't give to go back to the days of shitty nappies and 4am feeds when they started fighting.
As the years went on, the conversation you had with Alex about Bens sexuality felt more and more real. On more than one occasion he had come home from school in tears because some kids had bullied him and called him a 'fag'.
You and Alex had actually talked about it quite a bit and it honestly didn't really seem a big deal any more.
So when Ben brought home a girl called Lucy when he was 13 and introduced her as his girlfriend, well to say you were shocked would have been an understatement!
"Yer fink she's 'is actual girlfriend?" You'd asked Bolly as you dried the dishes she handed you.
"Seems like it" she shrugged as she rinsed the soap suds from the plate she was washing. "I mean, it's been almost a year now"
"Yer I know but, she could be fakin' it fer 'im. High school is rough, Bolls!"
"I think it's genuine. It seems genuine. Remember how forlorn he was when she went away for two weeks last summer? And how much he fretted buying her a Valentines day present?"
"Yeh, I guess. S'just, I want 'im ter be 'appy. Ter be 'imself. I don't want 'im to ter 'ide 'imself!"
"Gene" Alex sighed, taking your hand and stroking her thumb across your knuckles. "We've been over this a thousand times before. Just because Ben likes to read and play video games doesn't dictate his sexuality-"
"Ano, Bolls. Ano. It's just-"
"-I know" she smiled, gently squeezing your hand. "I get it. But honestly, Ben seems happy right now and he seems to really be in love with Lucy. I know you just want what's best for him and you want to protect him, but I really don't think he needs it"
And after that conversation, you'd dropped it. It also helped that whenever you watched the TV, Friends was the kids and Alex's choice of show (it was the mid 90s after all!) Ben always sat with a pillow on his lap whenever the dark haired girls were on.
Liv and Paige just seemed to have an endless string of inappropriate boyfriends. Liv's latest was a 23 year old named Harry in her drama class. When you found that out you almost hit the roof. She might be a few months shy of 19, but she would always be a little girl in your eyes. The only reason you hadn't killed the skinny little scrote Liv called a boyfriend was because Alex had physically held you back when he turned up after class one day with her.
Luckily though, you'd never had the displeasure of meeting one of Paige's boyfriends, or rather they'd never had the displeasure of meeting you! If you could, you would keep the pair of them under lock and key till they were thirty.
"No datin' till yer married!" You'd joke, only 70% serious.
Alex would just roll her eyes at you, talk you round and save whichever idiot came round for Liv.
Ben had gone off to university a few months ago and the last time you had saw him he told you of his plans to propose to Lucy. Alex had hit the roof of course, telling him he was too young. That he should focus on his studies. Then Ben pulled a ring out of his pocket and you honestly feared for Alex's life!
The usually laid back parent was white as a sheet and freaking out.
"Yer ain't gone an' knocked 'er up 'av yer?" You'd asked, which at that point Alex had to sit down so she didn't actually pass out.
"What? No!" Ben had laughed somewhat nervously and started to squirm and fidget under your gaze.
"Bloody hell! Yer 'av ain't yer! Yer 18, Ben! Yer in university an' 'av yer 'ole life ahead'a yer!"
"I swear I haven't knocked her up!"
"You better bloody not have done!" Alex piped up. "Because I will chop it off Benjamin Sam Hunt!"
"I haven't! I haven't even seen Luce in two months! I just love her and we've been together for so long! I thought you two of all people would understand that!"
And of course, against your advice, he proposed anyway and now you're helping to plan the wedding of two 19 year olds! And by helping, you are staying out of the way and letting Lucy's parents deal with everything.
Liv still lives at home, not that you see much of her these days. When she's not at school or rehearsals or work, she's out with Harry or her friends. Paige is the same. You find yourself missing the noise and the chaos that young children entail, although you've still got Chris and Ray and despite the fact they're both middle aged themselves now, they're still worse than most kids.
You'd been offered the position of Chief Super Intendant a few years back but had turned it down. As much as you would like that title, DCI suits you just fine. And besides, being the Super entails endless paperwork and meetings and not much else. You like doing the actual work. Chasing scum is what you were born to do!
You'd suggested that Alex take the job and had been delighted when she had. Of course, you did miss her every single day and her detective skills were greatly missed too, but it had been the right move. She got home at a reasonable hour and had more time to spend with the kids and now she wasn't out in the field, you didn't have to worry about some nut job with a gun. The kids had seemed a lot happier when she took the job too.
Although Alex did spend more time helping you and the rest of CID solve crimes than rifling through the accounts. That's what plonks were for anyway!
Once Alex had been promoted, that left an open space for DI. You'd let him stew for a bit, just for fun, but after a few weeks of torture, you'd promoted Ray. Which of course meant promoting Chris to Detective Sergeant and then Shaz, finally, to Detective Constable.
The plonk, Anna, they'd got to replace Shaz was a pretty little thing. 23 was both her age and her IQ. Still, she seemed nice enough, she was always so apologetic for her mistakes and eager to learn. It was impossible to dislike her, even if she was more of a hindrance. All your years of being married to Alex was turning you soft, because once she'd pointed out the obvious sparks between Anna and Ray, you couldn't help but pair them up together in hopes that he would finally get a woman. Seriously, it was so depressing the way he would turn up all alone when you, Alex, Chris and Shaz did things. And by God did them sparks fly! Within a year of you hiring Anna, she and Ray were married and expecting a baby.
You yourself were planning on taking early retirement in a few years. Once Paige was either off to uni or got a job, you and Bolls could live the life of Riley. And by that you meant sleeping all morning, reminding Bolls of your legendary prowess as a lover all afternoon and then getting pissed at Luigi's.
Although, when asked what she plans to do after this school year is over, Paige tends to just shrug her shoulders and mutter "dunno" before quickly changing the subject. It drives Alex up the wall that Paige is undecided. It had been easy with Olivia and Ben, they'd came out of the womb knowing what they wanted to do. Ben had always pointed towards university and becoming a doctor and Liv had always wanted to be an actress. Except for the three months she wanted to be a snail and the week she wanted to be a unicorn jockey...
But you get the feeling Paige is hiding something. You had suggested reading her diary but Alex had a murderous glint in her eye upon that suggestion, so you'd settled to just let it lie a few more weeks.
You and Alex had both stopped working weekends unless you had to once the twins had come along. Alex was currently pottering about the kitchen, probably cleaning as you had a dinner party tonight with Lucy's parents, Chris, Shaz, Ray and Anna as well as all the kids (although they tend to stay in the living room and pretend they don't know why there's three empty bottles of alcohol stashed in the corner). You know you should probably go and help her, but she tends to get mad at you and yells at you to go away anyway.
You're about to change the channel on the TV, having not been paying attention to it anyway, when the phone rings. You ignore it, in hopes whoever it is will go away. The second the ringer stops, it starts ringing again.
"Gene, get off your bloody arse and answer the phone!" Alex shouts and sounds annoyed. It stops right as you go to answer it and you groan in frustration as it starts again.
"What?!" You bark, unhappy that whoever it is on the other end of the line has interrupted your quiet morning.
"Guv?"
Shaz? It's been over 20 years and she still calls you Guv outside of work.
"Guv, is Liv with you?"
"No, she an' Paige went out this mornin'. Bin actin' funny for days an' I fink Liv wanted to talk to 'er 'bout it. Why?"
"Well Paige turned up at ours half an hour ago in hysterics and said she an' Liv had gotten into a fight. Couldn't get much outta her but it must'a been bad for her to turn up here"
"She okay?" You ask now starting to worry. What the hell was going on with these two?!
"I dunno, Guv. She 'asnt stopped cryin'. When Chris offered to drive her home she got even more freaked out and locked herself in the bathroom. I dunno what to do and we're worried about her"
"Right. Okay" you sigh. "Bolls and me will be there in ten mins. Just make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. Thanks Shaz"
You hang up and are about to go and get Bolly from the kitchen when you find her stood in the doorway, her car keys dangling between her fingers and holding your coat out for you.
"I heard your end of the conversation" she informs you, clearly reading your mind. "I could throttle that girl sometimes!" She huffs as she sits in the passenger seat. "I asked her to find out what's been wrong with Paige the past few weeks, she's been just as worried as we have" Alex was now in full on rant mode. Normally you would think about anything else and not listen but this was important. Paige had been off the past few weeks but nobody knew why. Which was weird because she usually told you, Alex or Liv anything and everything. "But then they had that argument on Wednesday, and I know it was a bad one because Paige hasn't come out of her bedroom except for school. But Liv seemed really upset too so I gave her £20 this morning to get her and Paige a coffee or something so they could talk it over and see if she could find out what's wrong!"
Alex is still mid rant by the time you pull onto Chris and Shaz's road, getting their in half the time it should usually take thanks to some old Gene Genie driving. Alex is out of the car before you've even parked and let's herself into the house, leaving the door open for you to follow. Adam, Shaz and Chris' youngest is playing with a fire engine in the hallway and seems oblivious to the whole thing. You let yourself in and can hear Alex and Shaz at the top of the stairs trying to get Paige to open the bathroom door. You spy Chris coming out of the kitchen, a tray of cuppas in hand. He almost trips over the three year old as he makes his way toward the living room.
"Sorry 'bout this, Chris" you apologise. "Bet this wasn't 'ow you planned on spendin' yer weekend"
"If there's not any arguin' in this house then it's not a normal Saturday" he grins. "George an' David 'av bin drivin me an' Shazzer up the wall recently. Although, girls seem like more work"
"Tell me about it!" You chuckle, opening the door for Chris to find Liv sitting on their sofa, sobbing her eyes out. "Yer coulda warned me yer twonk!" You growl after being sprung with not one but two emotional teenage girls.
"Sorry Guv" Chris looks sheepish and quickly leaves the room so you and Liv can chat in private.
"What the 'ell is goin' on?" You ask taking a sip of the tea before spitting it back on the cup. "Oi, Skeltwat! What is this sewer drivel yer givin' me?! Tea. Six sugars!" You shout, shoving your mug into Chris' hands before he one again leaves you alone. "Well?" You prompt.
"Nothing"
"Clearly!" You reply sarcastically before shrugging off your coat and sitting on the sofa next to Liv. Her mascara has run down her cheeks and her eyes are all red and puffy and it breaks your heart. What the hell is going on with them?! "Is this still 'bout the argument the pair o' yer 'ad the other day?"
"We didn't have an argument"
"Yeh. An' I'm the queens left nipple! Look Liv, I'm yer dad. An' yer clearly upset an' Paige is on t'verge of a breakdown. Yer are usually thick as thieves! What's goin' on?!"
"I-I... It's not my place to say"
"An' what's that s'posed ter mean?"
"Exactly what it sounds like! This is all to do with Paige!"
"Well why are you cryin' then? If yer can't tell me 'bout Paige then yer can tell me what's up with you"
"It's just... I found out what's been bothering Paige. But it was an accident. Paige wasn't ready to tell me... Or anyone really and she freaked out. I told her that it was okay, that it were only me but she just went crazy. She screamed and told me to go away. I mean, I get why but it's just me? She knows worse things about me! It's like she doesn't trust me anymore"
"An' that's why the pair o' yer 'av bin weird all week?"
Liv nodded and sniffled, reaching out for the cuppa on the table.
"Then this morning mum gave me some money so I could take her out, y'know to try and cheer us both up and so we could talk about things. But she just got mad when I brought it up. She freaked out in the coffee shop and ran here. I followed her but Chris said she'd locked herself away. Shaz has been trying to talk to her for an hour but she's just freaking out"
What the hell could be so bad that Paige would hide and react like this? Oh god... She couldn't be, could she? She was barely 18... If she was knocked up you would squeeze the little scrote who knocked her up knackers in a vice and squeeze so tight he'd be singing Walking In The Air higher than Aled bloody Jones!
"She's not... Pregnant, is she?" You can't help but wince as the words leave your mouth. Liv starts laughing through her sobs.
"No. She's definitely not pregnant" she laughs before breaking down again. You pull her into your arms and she sobs hard against out chest, reminding you of the six year old who fell off her bike and only wanted her Daddy.
Outside you can hear Chris telling the boys he will take them to the park for a bit. He's got four boys and all these female hysterical hormones is too much for him. It finally goes quiet out in the hall and you hear Paige finally let Alex into the bathroom. Liv is still sobbing against you after five minutes and you remember you'd hid a bottle of scotch behind the bookshelf last Christmas. It's close enough for you to reach and with some effort, you feel the cool bottle and pull it from behind the bookshelf, blowing off the thick layer of dust as you do.
With the hand that's not wrapped around your daughter, you unscrew the top and take a good few gulps.
"'Ere" you hold the bottle out to Liv who looks up at you with a pointed look. "Yer old enuf!" You quirk your brow. "Don't fink I don't know yer 'av bin sneakin' me bottles over the years either" you grin and Liv blushes and avoids eye contact. "Yer need it. Go on" you urge and she takes bottle, downing half of it in one ago. "'Ay! I said a sip!" You reach out and get the bottle. "Yer Mam'll 'av me knackers if yer get pissed!"
"Sorry" she grins.
"Yer should be! That's expensive stuff! Yer guzzle booze faster than yer Mam! An' I've seen 'er polish off a whole bottle o' red in less than five minutes!"
"Yeah, and I've seen you drink a bottle of scotch in half that time!" Alex's voice comes through the doorframe and you wonder how long she's been there for.
"She okay?" Liv asks almost immediately. Alex nods and swallows thickly. "You know?"
"Yeah. She finally gave in and told me"
"Told yer what, Bolls?" You ask, not happy you're the last to know.
"Well if you'd have let me finish, I was about to say she wants to talk to you now"
Right. You're off the couch faster than you've moved in years. Bolly's following you up the stairs and if Paige wants to talk to you then why is Alex coming?
"I thought she wanted ter talk ter me, Bolls"
"She does"
"Then what yer followin' me for?!"
"She wants me there. For moral support. And so you don't quote unquote kill her"
You stop dead in your tracks, causing Alex to bump into you, eliciting a "bloody hell, Gene!" As she rubs her nose.
"An' am i?"
"Are you what?"
"Gonna kill 'er?"
"No. Well I don't think so. She's just a scared teenage girl"
Before you an even think of a reply, Shaz exits the bathroom smiling slightly uneasily as she sees you and you quickly catch a glance at your little girl. She's slumped on the floor, make up streaming down her red raw face. All you want to do is take her in your arms and protect her from all the pain in the world. She's your little girl, your baby and she shouldn't feel this terrified about telling you anything. Doesn't she know that no matter what you will love her?
You knock lightly on the door, not wanting to startle the girl.
"'Ay monkey, it's yer dad" you say in a quite and soft tone, using the nickname you gave her when she was three and climbed on top of the wardrobe. "Can I come in?"
You hear a grunt and take it as a positive. As you open the door Paige lifts her head and panic starts to set in her eyes.
"M-mum?!" She chokes.
You step aside so you're not blocking Alex.
"She's right behind me luv"
Alex takes a seat on the floor next to Paige, smiling reassuredly at her. Paige instantly moves closer to her mother and relaxes into her. You perch on the edge of the tub, knowing that if you sit on the floor your knees won't allow you to get back up again.
"What's all this fer, ay?" You chuckle slightly, lightening the mood. "Yer not that scared o' yer old dad! Yer called me a fat old git that needs to fuck off last week!" You pretend you don't see Alex snigger next to her daughter. Clearly letting that one slide. "Yer know yer can tell me anyfin, right? I ain't gonna be mad or luv yer any less!"
Her big blue eyes light up slightly and the panic and fear starts to melt away. Maybe she just needed reminding of that fact.
"Unless yer a traitor an' 'av started supportin' United"
Paige let out a giggle at that. Good. It's nice to hear laugh and see her smile again.
"Not that. Never that!"
You smile and nod, not knowing what to say. You don't want to push her. She's not one of the scumbags down in the cells. She's a terrified little girl and you've got to come at this from a whole different approach.
An awkward silence has fallen over the room now and you hear Paige swallow thickly and take a deep breath.
"Just remember you love me, okay?" She squeaks and your heart feels like a 10 ton weight in your chest.
"Like I could ever forget that"
"Right" she nods, bringing a trembling hand and wiping her eyes. Alex tells her that it's okay, that everything's gonna be okay and you agree with her. It seems to work and Paige starts to speak again, keeping her gaze firmly planted toward her lap. "I've been struggling with something for a while... As long as I can remember really and it's been hard and it's been eating away at me for so long. I've been good at hiding it, I guess. But anyway... It's been hard and I feel like I've been living a lie my whole life. That I haven't been able to just be myself. An... And well I finally realised it but it took me even longer to accept"
You're on the verge of tears yourself, Alex's and Paige's flowing freely. You feel like a failure. You thought Paige had been a happy, normal girl but she's been in pain all her life. How could this go unnoticed? How did you not see it?
You catch Alex's eye and you know she's thinking the same thing. That she's beating herself up too.
"Paige-" you start but she cuts you off.
"-no dad, please. If I don't get it out now then I might never get the guts to do it again" you nod, allowing her to speak as you feel a plump tear roll down your cheek. "I know this last week hasn't felt like it, but I'm happy now. Like really happy" her eyes light up again and her lips curl up into a genuine smile as she says this, and despite the red raw eyes and tear stained cheeks, she looks happier than you've ever seen her. She's got the same look on her face that Alex gets when she looks at you... Oh bloody hell she's in love! "You remember my friend Josie?"
"The coffee coloured scouse girl?" You ask and you can feel Alex's angry, chastising glare burn you. "Sorry" you apologise, both of them rolling their eyes at you. "Nice girl" her smile grows even more and you're starting to think that this Josie girl has a lot to do with what's been upsetting Paige.
"Yeah. She is" there's an undeniable twinkle in her eye as she's talking about this girl and everything starts to make sense.
"She's yer girlfriend ain't she?" You ask before you even realise it and Paige looks like a deer caught in headlights.
"You? How-I mean?" She stumbles over her words looking both flustered and relieved.
"I seen that look before. Tha' twinkle in yer eye. The love sick smile on yer pretty little face. It's the same look yer mam gets when she looks at me an' thinks no ones lookin'. It's the look o' luv, that. An' judgin' by the way this 'ole thing played out, yer got it bad"
"Wait... You're-you're not mad?" She asks and you can't help but scoff at the absurdity.
"Mad? Why would I be mad?"
"Because I'm gay"
"Look, c'mere" you pat the empty spot next to you on the edge of the tub and Paige joins you. "Yer me little girl, Paige" you say as you wrap your arm around her shoulder, pulling her as close to you as possible. "I know in the past I ain't exactly bin king o' the 'omos or whatever, but it's different wen yer 'av a kid. Yer mam opened me eyes to a lotta things too. Pulled me outta the 50s me dad 'ad 'ammered inta me 'ed. But yer gay, so what? If yer 'appy then that's all that matters to me!" She's crying again but they seem to be tears of joy. You kiss her forehead and Bolly stands up, groaning as she stretches. Old age is creeping up on the pair of you! She looks at you and mouths an 'I love you' before wiping her cheeks clear of tears.
"Yer mind givin' us a minute, Bolls?" You ask and Alex shakes her head. "Just remembered I left me scotch alone with a teenager that could chug for Britain! That's premium malt, Bolls!"
Alex places soft kisses on both yours and Paige's cheeks before she goes off to save your scotch, leaving you and Paige alone.
"Are you seriously okay with this?" Paige asks, sniffling as she looks up at you.
"Yeah! Course I am! Like I said, yer me little girl an' all I want is yer to be 'appy" you squeeze her and feel a warm tear drop onto your hand. "What I don't get is why Liv is down there sobbin' 'er 'art out an' drinkin' me scotch like its bloody water in the Sahara"
"Well, on Wednesday Josie had come round ours to finish the project we had for biology. And no that's not a euphemism! So we're finishing up and she's looking at me and my heart is racing and I've liked her forever and I sort of had a feeling that she might feel the same way, y'know. And next think I know she's kissing me. And it's good. And I'm kissing her back. Then she tells me she likes me and my chest feels like it's gonna explode!" You know that feeling, even now, Drake still has that bloody effect on you! "And I can't believe my luck, so anyway, we're kissing and then Liv bursts in my room coming to ask about tea"
"She caught yer?" You ask and Paige nods. "An' that's why yer fell out?" She nods again.
"She said it wasn't a big deal. That I could talk to her. That she loved me. But I just... I freaked. I didn't mean to push her away I was just scared. Haven't been able to look her in the eye all week"
"She's worried 'bout yer, yanno. Finks yer don't trust 'er. Broke 'er little 'art"
"I know. It's just... I wasn't ready. And then today she brought up telling you and Mum and Ben and I lost it. All seems pretty stupid now"
"It's not stupid. Id'a bin terrified if I were you!"
"You seem so grown up and mature about it all"
"Well, yer mam an' I 'ave 'ad lots'a chats 'bout it"
"You knew all along?"
"Nah. We, well mainly me, thought Ben were gay an' yer mam an' me talked about it a lot over the years"
"Seriously? You thought Ben was gay?" She asked wide eyed and shocked. "How? The kid used to get boners every time we watched Friends or a hot woman in general was around!"
"He didn't like footy or seem to be interested in wimmin till 'e met Luce!"
"Just goes to show that you shouldn't stereotype" Paige quirks her brow at you.
"Obviously not. Yer ain't got short 'air, 'undreds a cats, or drive a tractor"
"What kind of outdated stereotype is that?" Paige asked laughing.
"Yer ain't 'ad any shit from anyone 'av yer?" You ask seriously, red hot anger coursing through your veins at the thought of somebody being homophobic toward Paige.
"A little" Paige shrugs. "Doesn't bother me too much though. Not many people actually know. The lads at school say it but I think it's just them teasing. None of them would actually be cruel about it. I'm lucky like that"
"Good. An' yer know if anyone ever makes yer feel bad about who yer love, I'll fuckin' kill 'em right? An' not just me! Yer mam, Liv, Ben... Hell, I've seen yer Auntie Shaz go nuclear at another kids Mam because their little shit kicked David in t'playground! She won't fink twice 'bout goin' nuclear on an 'omophobe! Didn't stop 'er when she was a WPC an' I was 'er DCI. Yer should never be afraid ter be yerself around us. Non'a us are gonna think anyfink if yer 'av a girlfriend... So tell me all about 'er then"
"There's not much to tell that you don't already know. Her names Josie Smith, she's originally from Liverpool but moved down here two years ago and she's just really nice"
"Yer would 'av to pick a bloody scouser wouldn't yer? I swear, if things start goin' missin'!"
"I thought you didn't do stereotypes anymore"
"Can't be too careful"
Paige sighed again, studying you.
"Are you sure you're sure?" She asked.
"Are yer still the girl I raised yer to be?" Paige nodded. "Are yer still a City fan?" Another nod. "Is yer fave band still Herb Albert and his Tijuana Brass?"
"I'm more partial to Oasis nowadays"
"Oh-who?"
"Oasis. They're a Manchester band, dad"
"That's alright then! Look Paige, as long as yer still the girl I raised yer to be an' yer honest with yerself an' 'appy then that's all I care about... Why don't yer invite 'er to the dinner party tonight? Yer don't have ter bring 'era as yer girlfriend if yer not ready fer that in front of Lucy's parents or the rest o' the mob, but it'd be really nice ter meet 'er"
"You just want to see Uncle Ray's face when you tell him all his years of rampant homophobia are coming back to bite him in the arse"
"Just 'cuz 'e's yer godfather don't mean I won't give 'im one o' me world famous bruise free groin slaps!" You smile and Paige giggles. "Yer remember 'ow ter do 'em right? They'll come in 'andy if yer ever come inta contact with a scrote!"
"Of course I remember! You taught us that before you taught us hot to say daddy! And anyway, gave Ben one last week!"
"Good. Not that yer abusin' yer brother, that's not nice yer know 'e don't fight back"
"He started it. He said Blur were better than Oasis"
"What? Paige yer speakin' Klingon!"
"Never mind" she shook her head before looking at you seriously. "Thanks, Dad. I really do love you y'know!"
"Not as much as I luv you! Now c'mere" you once again wrap Paige in a tight hug and she's squeezing you so hard. "Yer 'ad best go an' sort things out wi' Liv"
"I will. I promise. Can we just say here for another minute"
"Yer can 'av all the minutes in the world"
After what feels like a lifetime, you and Paige head down stairs. Everyone is in the kitchen sitting around the table drinking tea, your empty bottle is in the middle of the table and Liv has a shit eating grin plastered across her face.
Paige asks to talk to Liv and the four of you wince as Liv trips over on her way out. You really shouldn't have left something that's half you, half Bolly, alone with a bottle of alcohol. Although judging by Alex's glassy expression and the fact she's all touchy feely, you suspect her idea of saving your scotch was drinking what Liv hadn't gotten around to. And Shaz is falling asleep in her chair.
"Seriously?! I'm upstairs comfortin' a hysterical teenage girl an' the three o' you are gettin' pissed on my scotch downstairs?!"
"Shaz had some wine in the fridge too!" Bolly slurred.
"Yer do realise we 'av a very important dinner party in less than four 'ours, right?"
Seriously, how on earth did you end up being the grown up, sensible one?
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Alex groaned.
Women! Bloody women!
This is something I just wrote one day when I was bored at work and it turned out to be super long and probably super awful. Oh well. Please let me know what you think:-)