Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
"Edward, I love you with all my heart." Bella gazed lovingly into her wonderful fiancé eyes. He picked her up bridal style carrying her into a patch of sunlight in the middle of the meadow before letting her down again.
"Oh my darling Bella, you are my everything, and perfect in every single way!" Edward exclaimed.
"I don't deserve you, I'm so clumsy! Once, I even slipped on some ice!" Bella insisted, Edward pulled her closer to him, their lips met when suddenly a flaming space rock flew from the sky and landed on top of the two. Bella, Edward, and their sickening love scene were all instantly killed. Charlie and Billy who'd been hiking (well, Charlie been hiking, Billy wasn't. Charlie was giving Billy a piggyback through the forest...) watched from a distance.
"Oh wonderful joy! Now that Bella's dead I can stop having to pretend to love her!" Charlie cried happily, for he was finally free, "Billy I've always loved you, will you marry me?!" Billy gasped with excitement, squealing like a young school girl.
"Oh yes Charlie, this is all I've ever wanted!" Billy smiled at his lover, who had set him down on a log that was conveniently shaped like a bench. Charlie quickly kissed his lover.
"I'll be right back." Charlie said, getting up he scrambled over to the space rock, Bella's limp hand stuck out from the rock and Charlie yanked the engagement ring off of it, running back to Billy. "Here you go! Now we don't have to spend money on a ring, I always found Bella's hands were very pudgy so it should fit you!" He slid the ring on to his lover's hand.
"Its gorgeous, oh Charlie, lets go back to my place and have sex." Billy gushed.
"Sounds like a plan to me. We better use protection though, wouldn't want to end up having a strange mutant half vampire half human baby who would eat through your flesh after you were pregnant with it for only a month now would we?" Charlie agree, helping Billy back onto his back.
"Now where would you get an idea like that?"
"Dunno, just popped into my mind..."
Epiloge
Jacob discovered the two lovers having sex in his room a couple weeks later. He was forever traumatized and spent the majority of his time in therapy for the rest of his life. He was killed a couple years later from a horrible accident involving a washing machine, a car and some cherry flavoured popsicles. Emily, who'd been cheating on Sam with Jacob, was heart broken. She left Sam in order to pursue her dream to be a hobo. Sam, feeling weak and pathetic crawled his way back to Leah, hoping for her to take him back. She didn't, she no longer trusted the jerk. Leah went on to be a successful television show host, married a wonderful man and they had eight kids. Sam became there house keeper and the remander of his life was spent serving Leah sunny-side-up eggs, just the way she liked them, every morning for breakfast and cleaning eight children's rooms. He was killed by Emily when he ran into her outside the supermarket one day and begged her to return to him, she shot him in the head for disturbing her peaceful life as a hobo. Rosalie, getting tired of always being labeled as the bitchy blonde, ran off leaving Emmett and became a professor, teaching at many prestigious universities. Alice, getting tired of Jasper's emo behaviour managed to kill the vampire using a shoe, after realizing just how much of a lunatic she was, Alice was sent to a special asylum that she couldn't escape from, she killed herself after being locked up there for two thousand years. The remaining werewolves and vampires from the Cullen clan joined to together and created a wold-wide famous toster company, they were all very successful and rich. Charlie and Billy lived a long happy live together. Charlie died at the age of 98, Billy followed a week later.
Read and Review.... For some reason I have a feeling quite a few Twilight Fans are going to be biting my head off....