Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Inuyasha. Those are the property of one Rumiko Takahashi. I thank her whole-heartedly for giving us such an amazing manga/anime to read/watch.
Author's Note: This little piece of fanfiction was inspired in part by the fanfic "Hiccups" by Leloi and in part by a comment by Notoes on the Inuyasha ecchi doujinshi list – It was written entirely into the body of a post and has not be revised (except for one spelling correction).
Hiccups Revisited
by Urd-chan
Kagome returned through the well, surprised to find that Inuyasha wasn't waiting for her, as he usually did. She turned and walked in the direction of Kaede's village.
"Damn it, old hag! Why don't you just leave me a..." Inuyasha's angry voice was interrupted by a rather large hiccup.
Kagome found herself giggling as she came upon Inuyasha. He looked rumpled and angry and was glaring at Kaede.
"But, Inuyasha. These herbs will cure your hiccups."
"I'm not getting anywhere near those stinky things..." Again, Inuyasha's voice broke off into a rather loud hiccup.
"What's going on?" Kagome asked innocently.
Inuyasha turned and glared at her. "This old hag is trying to kill me with her medi..." Inuyasha's entire body shook with the hiccup.
Kagome moved quickly to his side. She had seen some severe cases of hiccups before, but these were worse than anything she had experienced. "Maybe you should listen to Kaede and use the herbs."
Inuyasha hiccuped again, his face turning red as he tried to hold it in.
"I already took everything else she gave me..." He broke off to fight another spasm. "They didn't work. I'm not taking anything else." Inuyasha punctuated his last comment with his biggest hiccup of all.
Kaede shrugged. "I can't be of help if you're not willing to take what I give you." She glanced apologetically at Kagome and shook her head. It was obvious the old woman was passing responsibility for Inuyasha onto the young miko.
"Come on, Inuyasha. I know some ways of getting rid of the hiccups." Kagome took his arm, pulling him in the direction of the river. The last thing Inuyasha would want would be an audience. She could see Shippou peeking out of the door of Kaede's hut. No, having friends around to tease him would only make it harder to get rid of the hiccups.
Inuyasha continued to hiccup as they walked. He mumbled incoherently to himself as Kagome tried to get his mind off his predicament. She talked about the new flavor of ramen she had brought for him, and about things that had happened at her home. He seemed oblivious to anything but the continuing spasms that shook his body every few moments.
Kagome turned to him when they reached the river. "I have the perfect cure," she announced as she dropped her backpack to the ground and stooped to dig through it. It only took her a moment to find what she was looking for. It was a plain, brown paper bag. She quickly took out the contents and held the bag out in Inuyasha's direction.
"Just breathe into this!"
Inuyasha hiccuped and stared at her. "You want me to what?"
Kagome cupped her hands around the opening of the bag and brought it up to her own mouth, demonstrating what she was telling him to do. "You just breathe in and out for a little bit. The carbon dioxide will calm the contractions of your diaphragm."
Inuyasha stared at her as though she had gone mad. "The carbon what will do what?" His body shook as another large hiccup hit him.
"Never mind. Just breathe into the bag." Kagome held it out for him.
Inuyasha looked at Kagome and then at the bag, taking it from her just as the next hiccup hit him. "You better be right. Of all the stupid things."
Kagome watched patiently, instructing Inuyasha to breathe deeply and slowly into the bag. After several more hiccups Inuyasha paused and looked over the bag at her. He slowly moved the bag from his mouth and took a deep breath.
"They're gone," he announced.
"I told you it would work," Kagome said triumphantly. She took the bag from him and folded it up, returning it to her backpack. Just as she stood up a loud sound startled her.
"Damn it, bitch. You said that would work." Inuyasha clutched his chest as another spasm hit him. They appeared to have gotten worse.
"Never mind. I know several other things to try. I've never failed at curing hiccups." Kagome stooped down, digging through her backpack again. She took out a plastic cup and a bottle of water. She opened the water and filled the cup.
"Now, drink this. Just drink the entire thing without taking a breath." She handed the cup to Inuyasha. His hand shook with the latest hiccup as he grabbed the cup of water.
"This had better work," he announced again.
"Take a deep breath and hold it. Then, you drink the entire cup without stopping. It never fails."
Inuyasha looked skeptical, but the hiccups were starting to get on his nerves. He was ready to try almost anything.
The hanyou took in a breath and brought the cup of water to his mouth. He quickly chugged the liquid, slowly lowering the empty cup and staring at Kagome. Again, he took a deep breath and paused. The hiccups were gone.
"Okay, so the bag didn't work for you, but the water did. Not everyone responds to the same treatment." Kagome took the empty cup and returned it to her backpack. She closed the pack and slung in onto her back as she stood up. "We should get back to the village."
Inuyasha took a couple of steps and stopped as a very large spasm hit him. Again, the hiccups had returned, and again they had only become worse.
Kagome looked worried. She had never seen anyone with a case of hiccups this bad. "Do you always get them this bad?"
"I'm a hanyou. I don't get hiccups!" he growled. "At least I never had them before."
Kagome stopped again and dug through her pack. There was one other thing that sometimes worked. She hoped she would be successful this time since she didn't know of anything else to try.
"Here." Kagome held out a spoon. She had scooped some sugar from a little container in her bag. "Just eat this. This always works for Souta."
Inuyasha shook his head. "I'm not trying anything else." He stamped off in the direction of the trees and suddenly stopped as the largest spasm yet hit him. He stood silent and motionless for several seconds, waiting for the next hiccup to pass before turning back towards Kagome.
"Give me that, wench!" he said as he took the spoon from her, spilling a little of the sugar as he shoved the utensil into his mouth.
Kagome held her own breath as she watched him. Inuyasha closed his eyes and swallowed hard, letting his saliva dissolve the sugar that filled his mouth. After several moments, he gulped down the remaining granules and licked his lips. He stood motionless for a time, his eyes still closed.
Kagome found herself crossing her fingers and hoping beyond hope that the sugar cure had worked. She was fresh out of ideas. The only other thing that she had ever heard of was sneaking up on the patient and scaring the hiccups out of them. Somehow she knew that would never work on Inuyasha. His hearing was too good for anyone to be able to surprise him.
Inuyasha held his eyes closed and took a deep breath. There was no sign of the hiccups. He took a second breath and then a third, smiling as he realized the hiccups were gone. Before he could say anything, a large spasm caught him. He grumbled. "Damn it, Kagome. You told me you knew how to get rid of these things."
"I do," Kagome said hesitantly.
Inuyasha opened his eyes and looked at her, shocked when he saw Kagome lift her shirt and expose her bare breasts to him.
The hanyou gasped, his eyes wide in disbelief. "What the hell?"
Kagome quickly covered herself and turned away from Inuyasha. She picked up her backpack and swung it over her shoulder, turning and walking quickly in the direction of Kaede's village. Inuyasha stood dumbfounded for several seconds before running after her.
Kaede looked up as Kagome and Inuyasha returned to the village.
"Well, were you able to cure him?"
Kagome nodded silently, keeping her face turned away from the hanyou.
Inuyasha smirked. "They're gone. Kagome had the perfect cure."
Sango came around the side of Kaede's hut. "Kagome, I'm glad you're back. Kaede said you had a cure for the hiccups."
Kagome nodded.
"Well, the funniest thing happened. Miroku followed the two of you down to the river. The next thing I know, he's running back here and now he has the hiccups."
Kaede shook her head. "Now what could have given them to Miroku?"
Inuyasha grumbled and dashed around the corner of Kaede's hut. He found the monk sitting on a stool, holding his shaking head in his hands.
"So, you followed us to the river. Tell me, pervert. Just what did you see there?"
"Inuyasha, I'm innocent. How was I to know Kagome would do that? I simply followed the two of you to the river, hoping to get a good laugh at Kagome trying to cure your hiccups. Honestly, I wasn't trying to see..."
Inuyasha hit the monk on the head and returned to the others.
"I don't think Miroku will have to worry about the hiccups for a while," he announced as he grabbed Kagome's hand and pulled her inside Kaede's hut.
"Inuyasha," Kagome stammered. She still couldn't bring herself to look at the hanyou.
"Thank you." Inuyasha paused, sounding more sincere than she had ever heard him.
Kagome turned and looked at him. There was something about the look in his eyes.
"I have a feeling I'm going to get the hiccups a lot, Kagome. You'll have to be ready to help me get rid of them when that happens."
Kaede and Sango looked up in surprise when Kagome's voice echoed through the village.
"Osuwari!"