Title: It's all fun and games until...
Author: pmw10261
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, The Team.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood. I do not make money off of Torchwood. This is for entertainment purposes only.
Beta: none
Author's Note: Written for the redisourcolour challenge #18. The theme is 'Medicine' and the words are "Tightwad," Creamy," and "Babbling." The phrase is -"Well then, how about you try it, and see how it goes?"
Author's Note 2: I have never been to Oakwood Theme Park, Hey, I've never been to the United Kingdom, all information is from their website, if I have got it wrong, sorry.
Ianto looked up as the team ... staggered into the hub. Jack was carrying Tosh, and Gwen and Owen were holding each other up.
"What happened, is everyone alright?"
"Yeah, were fine, it was just a little accident." soothed Jack.
"Harkness, it was all your fault." Owen complained.
"Not me, it was Gwen's fault."
"No, Owen started it." replied Tosh.
"But.."
"Tosh you're the one who.."
"Stop, just get down to the medibay, Owen will need to check you all over, and then we can tell Ianto what happened." Ordered Jack.
"It's all because Owen's in a Tightwad!" Gwen got in before Jack glared at her.
50 minutes later, the team were sitting in the conference room, hot coffee in hand.
Tosh's contusions had been eased with a creamy alien gel. Owen's badly bruised knee was strapped, Gwen's cuts were steri-stripped and Jack's coat was hanging up, drying after the mud had been washed off.
Ianto looked at them.
Gwen looked sheepish.
Owen looked angry.
Tosh looked tired.
Jack just gave Ianto his - trust me I'm a time agent (patent pending) grin.
Ianto shook his head, "Okay, what happened, it was suppose to be a simple pick up of some flotsam, a one person job. You all went 'cos it's was quite and you were bored. How come you come back like the walking wounded?"
"It's Owens fault..."
"Jack started it..."
"You helped Gwen..."
"Tosh you should have..."
"It wasn't my fault..."
"It was all your fault..."
"Don't blame me..."
"I blame you..."
"STOP!"
The all looked at Ianto, the quiet, calm facade was gone, he looked mad.
Jack looked around at his team, bickering like little children.
"Okay," explained Jack, "This is what happened.
"We arrived at the site. It was just were the directions stated, but it wasn't in the grounds of the Bluestone, it was in the park next door."
"The theme park?"
"Yep, that's the one, so we went in, Owen didn't want to fork over the entrance fee, just wanted to flash one of our ID's to get in."
"You just wanted an excuse to go on all the rides, if we paid, you could say we deserved to go on them." snarked Owen.
"They did look like fun." Added Tosh.
"So, " continued Jack, as he glared at Owen, after smiling at Tosh, we went in, found the 'rift gift' all in 10 minutes."
"But you've been gone 15 hrs?"
"Well, we thought since we were there..."
"So you went on all the rides?"
"Yes, it was so much fun, you should have been there."
"I wanted to come, remember Jack, but you said one of us had to stay behind, you made us draw straws."
"Sorry, Yan, if I had known we were going to the park, I would have made sure you won, not lost, you could have done that think later"
"Wait" exclaimed Owen, "made sure he won not lost, why are you two love birds fighting."
"Ianto wanted to do something that was private and wanted some time alone without you lot finding out about it - oh sorry." Jack smiled sheepishly, "Shouldn't have said that."
"It's okay." Ianto said as he patted Jack's knee, "I want to find out how you lot got hurt at a theme park."
"It's all Jack's fault."
"Owen did it."
"Well you didn't help."
"Tosh started it."
Ianto stood up and started to flick the lights on and off.
"Now stop bickering like little children, if you are not able to tell me, just go home and lick your wounds"
"Ianto," Jack whispered in Ianto ear, "I would love to lick you."
"Okay, now, Tosh, what happened?" Ianto asked, ignoring Jack and his attempts to lick his neck.
"Well, we got to the park and there were so many rides, we decided we would each pick one ride we wanted to go on and then have something to eat and come home."
"Yes, that would have taken all of 2 hours, you were gone 15!"
"The rides are fantastic."
"Okay, I'll bite, which rides did you pick Tosh?"
"Speed, it's a roller coaster that goes 95kmp, it's awesome!"
"Yes, but how did you get injured, on the roller coaster?"
"No, later."
Ianto shook his head, he was getting frustrated by the lack of coherent answers and how everyone was skirting around how they got hurt.
"Gwen, what ride did you pick?"
"Megafobia, I'm a sucker for old school roller coasters, it's an old fashioned wooden one, it is so much fun."
"And that's when everyone got hurt?"
"Not then."
Ianto was shaking his head, ready to scream. Through gritted teeth he asked Jack, "What ride did you pick?"
"I wanted to go on Vertigo, but you have to book, we got a spot at 1pm."
"So that explains a bit of how you were so late, but that's a very safe ride, how did you get hurt?"
"Oh, not on that one."
"Then where." growled Ianto.
"I picked drenched." Supplied Owen, "I always love to see birds in wet t shirts, makes my day."
"You are all babbling on, not answering my question, I'm going home, before..."
"Ianto, sit down, it's just rather embarrassing." Jack soothed Ianto and got him to sit down.
"We were having lots of fun, went on all the rides, and I mean all the rides, even the safe, ordinary ones."
"Yeah, tea boy - the ones you would have picked if you were there." snarked Owen.
Ianto clenched his teeth, closed his eyes, counted to ten and said, "Owen one word, Decaf."
"Sorry, you are brave and would have picked the scariest rides." Owen mocked.
"It was going to be for one day, but you've earned one week."
"Shit." muttered Owen.
"Well, there was only an hour left before the park closed and we," the girls glared at Jack, "sorry I, realised we hadn't gone to the gold panning area, it sounded fun so off we went."
"You got hurt gold panning?"
"Yep, we did, Owen tripped over a pan, twisted his ankle, fell over Gwen, who was pushed into a lady who then fell onto Tosh, who went face forward into the stream, hitting her face on the rocks. Gwen tried to help but managed to trip over the pans on the ground, landing on the edge of a bench, which caused the cuts on her face and shoulder..." Jack stopped talking and looked at Ianto.
Ianto was starting to giggle, he was sitting there shaking his head and giggling, the giggle was getting bigger and bigger, until it was a full blown laugh.
"So, you three big alien hunters, tripped, slipped and fell, whilst at a theme park, doing possibly the most sedate and safest activity in the whole place?"
"Yeah, that's about it."
Ianto just shook his head, giggling as he wandered off back to make anther round of coffee, remembering decaf for Owen.
That night, curled up in each others arms, warm and sated in their bed, in their new apartment.
"Jack, how long do you think it will take them to realise you don't live at the Hub any more?"
"Let's see how long it takes. I bet you Gwen works it out first."
"Nuh, Tosh, make a bet on it?"
"Deal." They sealed the bet with a kiss.
"Ianto, let's go back to the theme park, it was fun, I'd like to go with you."
"Yeah, sound fun."
"We could take Rhi's kids, they would enjoy it."
"What was the best ride? So I know which ones to go on."
"I liked them all."
"I had a look on the website, Bounce and Vertigo look fun."
"Well then, how about you try it, and see how it goes?"
"Next time it's quite."
"How about just the two of us, I would rather hold your hand in the scary ghost ride, Gwen's hand was all sweaty, and I'm sure Mica would scream in my ear."
"Okay, Jack, what every you want."
"You, Ianto, always you."