Realization
Summary: What would it take for Bella to realize her true feelings. How long will it take for her to realize that what she was doing was a mistake, the one that she loved wasn't around anymore. Will it take the death of a loved one for her to realize who she was meant to be with?
JACOB BLACK
I promised Bella that I would be nice. I'm not going to fight for her anymore, because that's what she wants, but it doesn't mean that I'm happy about it. The hardest part about all of this was that I know she loves me and would have been mine if there was no supernatural crap in our lives. That blood sucker would have died ninety years ago and Bella and I would have been together. We would have grown old together, had a family together but no, the world had to be stupid and give us these damn supernatural gifts—as my father liked to term it.
I thought of it as a burden, something that shouldn't have been, but because it was, I lost all hope of being with her. She haunts my dreams when I sleep and I see here whenever I open my eyes. It's starting to get really tiresome but I can't help it. The pack is also getting tired of my thoughts, the hopeless dreams that will never come true.
I know she's happy with him, but he's not good for her, he never could be because all he's doing is killing her in the end. He's going to stop her heart, deny her all the good things of life. I wish I could kill the filthy bloodsucker and take her back. If only he never came back last year, we could have been together right now.
I sigh as I closed my eyes. I sat up on the cliffs as I listened to the waves crash against the steep drop of rock. It would be so easy to just jump off and end everything, even if my body could withstand that small drop it would be easier to lose all of myself and just disappear.
Even though I wanted to do that I knew I wouldn't, because that would mean that I would hurt her more than I needed to. I just wanted her to be happy. I could handle them being together……
Yeah right. It took all of my control not to phase and grab him by his ice cold neck and snap it. I did it for Bella. Only because she chose him did I leave it alone. I couldn't do anything else to hurt her. I've hurt her enough as it was with all my bad mouthing, which I don't regret at all because they were all true.
Smirking I got up ready to phase and turned to run back home. As I phased I could hear Leah's thoughts. She was phased as well and it seemed like she was trying to find me. I rolled my eyes and was about to turn back to my human form when she called out to me.
Jake just hold on a sec where are you? She asked in my mind and I wanted to just ignore her. I came here to get away from everyone not so that she of all people could come and bug me. I didn't answer.
Seriously Jake answer me now! She snapped at me.
I'm at the cliffs Leah do you need something? I asked irritation clear in my voice.
Just stay there I need to talk to you. Don't move! She said as she ran. I sighed as I lay back down on the edge of the cliff in my wolf form. I could hear the sounds more clearly as I waited for her. She was there in minutes and her lithe form as a wolf was mesmerizing if I didn't know how annoying she was. I groaned letting it show that I didn't want to listen to her.
I phased out and turned human while she disappeared for a second so that she could change back too. When she reappeared back from the clearing of the trees she was walking towards me with purpose.
I just furrowed my brows as I looked back to the waves beneath me. "What do you want Leah?"
"I want to talk you about this whole Bella fascination. Look I understand that you loved her and all but there is nothing you can do now. She chose him and stupid as she was she chose her own death, so why don't you just get over her?" she asked with a frown.
"Why do you care about who I love? Last I checked you never really cared about Bella," I said.
"Well that's because I see the stupid fantasies you dream up about her. Its disgusting Jake. I've dreamt all these things that I don't want in my head!" she said as if she's had enough. Didn't she realize that I didn't want those things in my head anymore either? I wished I could get her out but it wasn't going to happen so what could I do.
"Look Leah I can't help how I feel so just try to ignore it please," I said.
She still wouldn't drop it and she went off about all her issues with how I saw Bella in my head. I just kind of ignored her and tried to find some semblance of a happy place in my mind but it wasn't working. Leah's voice just kept cutting into me more than I wanted it to. I couldn't take it anymore and so I yelled back. I don't remember exactly what I said just that it had to do with Sam and that was enough to piss her off, enough to get her to phase and run off.
I knew I would hear about it later from Sam but it was worth my own sanity to get her away from me. So I sat there again quietly since there was nothing else I could do because if I phased now I'd probably hear Leah still.
When I finally got back home dad gave me a letter after skirting around the subject for a good half hour. I knew what it was for and it just twisted my heart to see it. It didn't even resemble the Bella that I knew and loved. This was something that shouldn't have any connection to Bella.
I opened it and read the note that was attached to it, thinking that maybe it was Bella asking me to come, but it wasn't her writing, it was too clean and fancy to be Bella's.
The words I read made my anger boil over. I was close to losing it.
"Jake we only have one table," said Dad as he looked over at my hand which had been clenching it, close to breaking it in two.
"Right sorry," I said barely a whisper as I turned to leave. I stormed out of the house and stripped off my clothes as I went. I phased again and started off at a sprint. I couldn't do it after all. I couldn't be nice; I couldn't bear to be nice when she was leaving me for him. I would kill myself rather than watch him take her as his own. I couldn't be here any longer.
As I was running Embry and Quil tried to stop me. They were both nearby and had heard my thoughts. I was planning on disappearing. I just couldn't be Jacob Black anymore; not here, not now. I told them to get lost but they wanted to come with me, they were worried.
I snorted at the thought. What was there to worry about? I could handle my own; I know what I'm capable of. They were still trying to follow me when Sam told them to stop and to come back. I was thankful to Sam. He let me go and told me to come back when I was ready; I wonder how long that would take.
I laughed at the thought when would I ever be ready to face them? I couldn't anymore. So I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I ran until my feet started to ache. I ran to the point of collapsing and even still I continued to run until I was so far away that I couldn't remember how long it had been since I left.
If Bella didn't want me then I didn't want myself either, because without her I was nothing. Without her I didn't exist. I let out a howl at the misery and continued running until I didn't know where I was anymore and even then I kept going. So far that no one would be around to notice me.
BELLA SWAN
When Jake disappeared I felt so guilty for what had happened. It was all my fault that he had left. I hurt him so much for my own selfishness. I needed him around me when I was alone, and kept him still even after I had Edward back.
Now he was gone. I tried not to think about him anymore just so I could let him go. It would be easier for both of us if I let him go. I didn't deserve Jacob. It hurt me that I loved him but it wasn't enough to want him the way I wanted Edward. I love Edward and I love Jacob but there's something that pulled me towards Edward.
I'm glad that Edward can't read my mind because there have many times lately that I've wished that I loved Jacob more than Edward, because the thought of becoming a vampire was really starting to scare me. I saw the way Bree was and I could almost see myself in her. What would happen to me, I would become a vampire and what if I turned on my family. I know that Edward wouldn't let that happen but what if? What if there was a time that I ended up being alone and I was too thirsty to think of stopping myself?
I knew that if I had chosen Jacob then my life would be so much easier. I would be able to experience all the normal things. I would always be warm and there would never be any animosity between us of him fearing of hurting me like Edward does all the time.
Being with Jake had always been easy because he was my soul mate as I was his. In the natural course of our lives I was meant for Jacob. He was my missing half but there was something about Edward that pulled stronger than any other bond ever could.
I imagined the two different outcomes of my life. The one of me and Edward years from now still the same and it was very enticing but then I thought of my life with Jacob, and I could see the perfect life of ours. We both grow up together and I see two little boys with dark hair and Jacob's beautiful russet skin. It was a lot more alluring but I couldn't help my pull towards Edward.
I sighed as I looked out the window of my room. I remember those days when Jacob would perimeter my house so that I was always safe. I would kill to have him back to see his smile again. He was still the sun in my life while Edward was the moon.
I didn't know what to do without him sometimes, even though Edward filled most of my days so I didn't think of him anymore, I still felt the emptiness that was once filled with Jacob.
I wanted so badly to call Seth and ask him if there was any news on Jake but I felt it was not my right to even ask. It has only been a few days since he left but it already felt like years. Every day stretched out.
Then I thought of Billy, he must be lonely at home, not to mention that he had no one to help him out with his wheelchair. An idea came to me then, I could go visit Billy there was no harm in that, and maybe I could help comfort him, or he could help comfort me, because no one knew how to these days when it came to Jacob.
Alice would just talk to keep the silence to a minimum and Edward would take me out so that when I got back I was too tired to even think of him. Charlie on the other hand wouldn't stop talking about Jacob's disappearance which was probably why thoughts of Jacob was still so prominent in my mind.
I jumped off of my bed and ran down to the door and flung it open. There stood Edward with a frown as he looked at me. He was about to knock on the door which was weird for him because usually he'd just come in through the window.
"Edward what are you doing here I thought you went hunting?" I said as I looked at him.
"I was going to go, but I was worried…" he said as he looked at my jacket and the keys in my hand. He'd already assumed where I was going no doubt. "Bella where are you going?"
I sighed there was no point in hiding it cause I couldn't lie. "I was going to see how Billy was doing, is it okay?" I asked him. I wasn't sure if he would let me go. I know that he knew that the pack wasn't harmful anymore. Ever since that truce against Victoria they've been on very good terms.
"Yeah that's fine, I'm just worried that you're never going to get over him this way if you keep going back there," said Edward as he furrowed his brows. I looked at his perfect face and wished that there was no crease in his forehead another problem that I gave him. I just couldn't help hurting the people I love I guess.
"I can't help it Edward. Jake is my best friend no matter how much he hates what I've chosen I can't push him out of my life," I said as I looked at him. "I'll be okay I promise."
I went up to kiss him once. He kissed me touching my hair softly. I could tell he was still worried. "Seriously Edward I'll be fine, there's nothing to worry about."
"Yeah sure… I guess I'll go catch up with the rest of the family," said Edward with a smile. I smiled and walked out with him. He held my hand the whole way there as he turned the ring on my finger round and round. He smiled at me again as he walked me to my truck and waited till I started it up. Once I drove off I saw him disappear.
I let out a sigh of relief. I just hoped that Billy would let me in, maybe he didn't like me anymore since I was the reason that Jake left. I crossed my fingers and drove to La Push. When I pulled up in front of the house I saw Seth sprawled on the ground beside Jake's garage. He was laying there by himself and then I saw his mother's car and assumed that they had come to do the same thing that I did.
I sat in my truck for a second unsure if I should go, but I knew it was rude to just leave because everyone must have heard my truck's noisy arrival.
Seth sat up then and looked right at me. He had a childish grin on his face and it reminded me so much of Jacob that my heart tightened at the thought. He waved me over and so I got out of the truck and wandered over to him.
"Hey Bella! How have you been?" he asked as innocent as any other fifteen year old.
"I'm good Seth, how's everything with you?" I asked unsure as I stood there towering over him. I found that thought funny since he was almost as tall as Jake and I considered myself to be towering over him. I laughed at my thoughts.
"I'm fine, why are you laughing?" he asked with a brow raised.
"I just thought it was funny that I consider myself towering over you because you're sitting down," I said realizing how stupid I sounded.
"Well of course that would be funny, cause you're so short!" he said with emphasis and then let out a laugh as he patted the grass beside him. "Can you sit for a while? Mom isn't planning on leaving anytime soon and I don't want to sit here alone."
"Uh sure," I said as I took the seat he offered me. He was smiling again as he looked up at the sky.
"So how is Billy holding up? How about you guys? Do you miss him?" I asked hoping it was casual even though I knew it wasn't.
"We're all fine. Billy understands what he's going through. We all do more than we want to, but he's fine," said Seth seriously trying to act older.
"So he's okay?" I asked. I didn't dare say his name; I didn't deserve to say it anymore.
"Yeah he's perfectly fine. He never phases out though, he's always in wolf form and even when the rest of our pack is patrolling he just stays quiet as he possibly can. I know he listens to us but he never says anything. It's like he's trying to disappear into his wolf form to make his human mind vanish," said Seth in a whisper at the last part.
"Do you…" I stopped not sure if I had the right to ask. Seth looked at me expectantly.
"Do I what?" he asked, curious at what I was going to say I expect.
"Do you know where he is?" I asked.
Seth beamed at me then. "At first none of us knew because he wouldn't think about it. We could see what he saw but we couldn't tell where it was. But one night I phased into my wolf form at around five in the morning and I heard him. He was thinking about some small town that he was at. It was just across the border in Canada. I think it was called Hedley, some tiny town 200 miles north from the border."
"He went into a town?" I asked with shock. He was way too big to pass off as a normal wolf didn't he get noticed?
"Yeah, it's very rural lots of forest, kind of like Forks actually," said Seth.
"He didn't get noticed did he?" I asked.
"Nope he's too smart for that, it's just that it reminded him so much of Forks that I think he couldn't not think about it, which is why I figured out where he was," said Seth proudly. He was smiling at him. It was an infectious smile that I wanted to smile too.
"Oh I'm glad he's okay," I said with a sigh as I lay down on the grass and looked up at the sky.
"Yeah he's good…" said Seth as he looked over at me. His face looked thoughtful and I wondered what he was thinking. "Um Bella can I ask you something?"
"Yeah sure anything," I said.
"Well are you sure I can come to the wedding? Will it be okay with the whole vampire werewolf enemy thing?" he asked.
"Of course it's okay, I really hope you come at least," I said. I hadn't invited them myself, but Edward bypassed me and sent out the invitations to the Quileute pack. I was really glad he did though, because at least a part of Jacob would be there since he wouldn't be.
"One hundred percent?" he asked again.
"One hundred and fifty percent. I think I'll feel a lot better if you are there, since you guys are my friends too, the only ones who know the hidden pretenses of our marriage," I said chocking on the word marriage.
"Sweet! I can't wait. How is Edward anyways? I haven't seen him in a while," said Seth with his toothy grin.
I laughed at the question. After that battle with Victoria and Riley, Seth and Edward had bonded and a friendship had formed. It just showed that there didn't have to be animosity between the Quileute's and the Cullen's. "He's fine. I'll tell him you said hi."
When I said that Seth just smiled. "Sure," said Seth as he fell back down.
We sat there quietly and for a moment I looked over at Seth and saw Jake the way he looked last year, before he transformed. His long black hair splayed around his face. That sunny bright smile that warmed my cold heart and the overall warmth of him that radiated off of him. I sighed I missed him so much.
"Hey Seth, next time you phase and it's just you and….. Jake could you tell him that I hope he's okay? That I do still care about him?" I asked quietly as she continued to look up at the sky. Saying his name out loud hurt, knowing I won't see him again, probably.
"Yeah sure no problem, I'm sure it might lift his spirits a little."
"Yeah and also could you keep me updated on where he was every now and then?" I asked.
"Sure, just call me every now and then and I'll let you know how he's doing." He said then started to laugh. "He'll probably hate the fact that I agreed but I don't think it hurts anyone."
"Yeah it only helps me… why am I so selfish?" I said to myself more than to Seth.
"Well maybe because you do like Jake more than Edward, though I like Edward too so I can't really get in the middle of this," said Seth.
I laughed at the way he tried to be diplomatic. It was the first genuine laugh in quite some time. Seth just looked at me with confusion and I shrugged so he just let it go.
"Should I go say hi to Billy or should I just leave it?" I asked Seth seeing what he would say.
"You don't have to if you don't want to Bella, there are no hard feelings with Jake leaving if that's what you're worried about. Billy understands Jake's situation and I think he kind of knew Jake might do this, you know he can be a little spontaneous," said Seth which I could only agree to.
"Well then I should go say hi but I don't want interrupt them. Do you want to take a walk maybe or I can just leave," I said.
Seth looked at me and his eyes went worried. "Don't go Bella; please I was bored to death before you got here! How about we go for a walk?" asked Seth.
I brightened at the thought. Seth was really easy to get along with and he took my mind off…… things.
So we both got up and wandered into the forest that bordered the land of the Black's house.
JACOB BLACK
There were days that I forgot who I was. There were long periods of time that I never spoke in my mind or out loud. I was really disappearing into myself, turning fully into a wolf. I liked the feeling. I was so lost in myself that I forgot how my voice actually sounded. The last time I spoke in my human form was with Leah all those weeks ago.
I was up in the arctic now, hunting. I let my instincts guide me as is hunted the largest prey I could find. Penguins were really small not even close to filling me so I waited and searched. I found a seal close by and closed my mind off. I let the wolf in me move quietly and stealthily. I was at its neck before the animal could even understand what was going on and I snapped it. The raw flesh was inviting now. It kept me sustained and at times I thirsted for it as it was the only time of my day that I had a devoted focus.
I wonder if that made me one of them; another bloodsucker just like the ones I vowed not to touch for her sake.
I could still see her prefect face those dark locks that framed her pale face with those rosy cheeks. She was perfect as she was but that wasn't enough for her. She wanted more, always wanted more. It was still that way now, even after she had him too; she was still asking for more. It irritated me so much to know that she would visit Seth almost every day and would talk about me. It was hard enough to forget her with the memories I had but she would also cloud Seth's mind now which were stronger more vivid than the memories I had.
I wished she would just let me go and let me wallow in my misery but she just wasn't selfless enough for that. I growled at her wishing I could actually be angry but all it was, was sadness. After I finished my hunt I walked around for a bit and curled up in the cave that I'd found. The weather wasn't painful I could barely feel it and with my hair growing out more and more I could tell that if it had been short there might have been a slight problem. The snow was glistening brightly and I lie down and hope to catch some sleep.
Maybe this time I might have a dreamless sleep rather than the nightmares that have plagued me since I left. As I was about to close my eyes I heard an all too familiar voice echo in my mind.
Hey Jake! How are you doing? Asked Seth. I feel his smile on his muzzle it made me want to smile but that would mean that I would respond to him. These past few weeks he would talk to me daily but I stayed silent. He could hear my thoughts and knew I didn't want to talk to him but he still did. That's his naivety and innocence one of his more redeeming qualities.
I'm not naïve or innocent jerk! I'm more knowledgeable than you think… there was silence as he waited for my reply one that wouldn't be coming anytime soon. Good luck with that one kid. Okay fine you believe what you want, but anyways you should come back Jake it would be a lot better if you were here she wants you to be here for… be here for the wedding. He said it but he stumbled over the word I hated; wedding. She was only eighteen and she was getting married, I wanted to snort but I knew why she was going through with it.
She was having a wedding for the sake of all her family members and friends, so that they would know that she was safe. I just don't understand why she is so stupid sometimes!
She's in love Jake! I know she is, you should see the way she talks about him…. And you. She loves you both. He said it so confidently. I knew she loved me that was one of the reasons I couldn't be there when she said her vows. I would see myself in his shoes and wonder why it wasn't me up there if she did love me.
Jake, you know if it hurts you so much why aren't you fighting? I've hung out with her these past few weeks and I've seen the fear on her face. I haven't said anything to her of course but I think she's scared of becoming one of them now. Maybe she changed her mind, maybe she chose you instead. What Seth made me wonder, I wouldn't know what she was thinking because I couldn't see her. What if! What if she had changed her mind and I wasn't there for her to tell me and so I was pushing her into the only other choice she could live with; turning into one of them so she wasn't lonely!
Damn it I was so stupid sometimes! Why had I left I shouldn't have left when I only had a limited time with her now. She was the only one in my life that made sense as confusing as she was. I wanted all of her even if I could only have it for a few more days. I cringed at the thought I wish I had looked at the stupid invitation so that I knew when her stupid wedding day was.
Two days from now, said Seth quietly as I processed all the information. I know it was such a long shot. It took a long time for her to even realize that she was in love me, would she really realize that I was the right choice? What if Seth was wrong, what if she was just nervous to leave her family and not scared of becoming one of them.
Trust me on this one Jake I have a knack for this kind of stuff, I'm almost one hundred percent sure!
I trusted in him enough to believe what he believed. I stepped out of the cave and stretched out my body. I hadn't run in a long time. Ever since I got up to the northernmost part of the country I haven't gone anywhere. I just hope that I would make it on time.
I dug my toes deep into the snow stretching out my paws getting ready for the run. The last leg of my race with Bella, it would either end in victory or in total and utter loss. I was hoping for the former rather than the latter. Nothing was ever set in stone with Bella so I might still have a chance. However small it was I would take it!
Hurry home Jake! We all miss you! Said Seth and I could hear all the rest of the pack hooting and hollering as if they were there inside my mind the whole time. Leah was the only one that I couldn't hear. I still couldn't make myself respond to them; it was too alien.
Hopefully I would be able to speak before I got home. Home. I haven't had a home for almost a month now. I wonder how dad was doing, probably getting by fine without me. He was always more capable than anyone ever realized.
I thought of the pack, my own family and realized that I missed them too. I missed everyone back at La Push, but most of all I missed her. Isabella Swan the most perfect person I could ever wish to meet. She was my soul mate and I would make her see that she need me and not him.
BELLA SWAN
I was dying of nerves. Ever since he left there was no one to confide in. Seth and I would hang out almost daily but I couldn't talk to him about things the way I was able to with Jacob. Seth was easy enough to chum up against and he was quite easy to confide in if the need was great—which mine was—but I couldn't risk Jacob hearing what I told him. When Seth phased he would link to Jacob and that would mean that he would know what I was thinking too.
It wouldn't be fair to Jake, to let him know how I was doing, that I needed him, because I know that if he was told he would try to make it back to me no matter how much he hated being around me anymore.
I cried a lot lately, suddenly and for long periods of time. I kept it from Edward as best as I could, I would tell him I was just nervous and that he didn't need to worry. I know he knew that I was lying but he couldn't prove it so he just left it alone.
I still don't know why I was crying so much now. I should be happy I was about to marry the love of my life wasn't I? I should be the happiest girl in the world right now, since I was getting the most perfect person as my life partner. I just had too many conflicting emotions. I wanted to spend my life with Edward, but I didn't want to age. I wanted to freeze over at eighteen but I was getting more and more scared to turn into a vampire. So what do I do, I wanted Edward but I didn't want any of the stuff that seemingly would come with choosing him.
I couldn't stand it anymore; I didn't want to be here at all not without some comfort. I was sitting alone again in my room. Edward was off in another hunting trip since there wasn't any harm to leave me alone. I looked over to my clock and saw that it was only noon. There was still so much time till the day would end but I couldn't spend it here alone. I was thinking of calling Angela maybe a girl's night would be fun, but then I realized that it wouldn't help me any because I couldn't talk to her and she was so perceptive that I would feel so guilty telling her.
I did want to go see Seth but I wondered if it was okay. I bothered him almost every day since that first day I went to Billy's house. He was a good natured kid and didn't seem to mind the company but what if it was all just a ruse? What if he was tired of me too? I don't think I would be able to bear that. I sighed.
I could always go to Alice and see what she was up to but with the wedding two days away I know that it would just be consultations about the wedding and I didn't want to be a part of it. Renee was there in my place for the past couple days and could stay there for the last two.
Giving up on Alice I wondered what else I could do. Maybe I'd go for a drive try to clear my mind a little.
I decided on that since nothing else seemed like a good idea. I got out to my new car, the flashy Mercedes Guardian. It was so flashy but Edward insisted since it was one of the conditions of the whole vampire thing… even though I was having my doubts. The only reason I was still driving my new car was because my truck had died a quiet death right after I came back from Billy's house that day a month ago.
The car started up in a quiet purr which was still something I was getting used to. I pulled out of the drive and headed down the road aimlessly. At first I was thinking maybe I could go to Port Angeles but then thought against it. Then I thought about Seattle but again the memories of all those who died in the previous year made me think against it. I didn't want to go somewhere that there were any links to newborn vampires.
So instead I cleared my mind and just drove straight.
I drove in silence and liked the peace it was creating. My mind had calmed immensely as I followed the curves of the road with ease in the new car. As I was driving past the forest I saw a bright flash of sand then a flash of a soft grey. They were both moving alongside my car and I knew immediately that it was Seth and probably Leah or Paul, from Jacob's pack. I tried for a smile and saw Seth turn to look at me.
I continued driving but then Seth lunged out onto the road and stood right in front of the car. I slammed on the brakes and the car came to a quiet stop as if there was no panic in me.
"Seth what the hell!?" I yelled out the window and he just gave me a wolfish grin. "What are you doing?"
He just whined at me and I wished that Edward was there to translate. "You do know I can't read your thoughts Seth, if you need to say something just phase back to your human self," I said as if he was crazy.
He let out another howl this one sounded like a laugh and he ran into the woods again for a minute, probably for my sake. He came back tumbling out of the forest all lanky and tall, only wearing his cutoffs. He had his smile on his face as if he just won the lottery or something.
"Why are you so happy?" I asked out of pure curiosity.
"Nothing just got some really good news, but what are you doing?" he said as he looked at me trying to read my thoughts.
"What do you mean what am I doing. I'm driving," I said as if that wasn't obvious.
"But Bella you're almost to the border, what are you doing driving so far away?" he asked as he looked at me with worry. It clearly shocked me. It didn't even feel like it had been that long that I was already at the border.
"I didn't realize….how far I was out of the town," I said as I shrugged. "Guess I should turn around huh?"
"Yeah I guess unless you were running away or something. For a second I thought you got cold feet," said Seth which totally caught me off guard.
"W-why would I have cold feet?" I stuttered for a second.
"Oh no reason, but I got you the best present, I can't wait till you see it," said Seth with his grin again.
"Oh yeah what did you get?" I asked smiling again.
"You'll just have to wait and see, you might get to see it early if you're lucky," he said it with a knowing smile. I wondered what it was but just shook my head and laughed.
"Yeah well I hope I like it, now if you'll excuse me I'm going to head back home now," I said as I put my car in reverse and turned around.
"Sure we'll follow you back," said Seth as he jogged back into the forest. I heard a snarl from the grey wolf and immediately knew that it was Leah. I didn't have any animosity towards any of the guys in the pack, only the one girl.
I heard something that sounded like a groan—from Seth most likely—and couldn't help but laugh as I headed back to my little town of Forks.
JACOB BLACK
I was running as fast as my paws could take me. I speed past cities and places as if on the fast forward button, but still time did not get me there any faster. I was half way to the border when the first day passed. Time was really taking it slow and I couldn't slow down any, I needed to get there.
So I willed for myself to go faster than I was going already and cried out in pain as my muscles contracted and stretched too much. I didn't care for the pain, I had to see Bella before she tied the knot, before she did anything too drastic.
I needed to get there before the ceremony started because then I know that I'd be too late. I couldn't just ruin it for her. I groaned at my pace, couldn't I go faster damn it!
I wondered what she would do when she saw me. Seth already told her in his own ways that I was coming but had she realized what he actually meant. Would she know that it was me that was her present? Would she even care when she saw me?
I damn well hope she cared.
I couldn't be thinking like that though, cause then there wouldn't be any point in me going all the way there if I didn't believe there was still a chance. So I just ran, ran as far as I could go without collapsing with only one thing on my mind, which was to see Bella…
Another day passed and I was still running. How much longer would it take me to get there? It was the day of the wedding and I knew that Bella was probably already getting ready for the big day, probably not by her own wishes since she hated a public show but by Alice.
I was almost there just running past the border when something caught my eye. I saw it too late though because it charged at me while I was still focused on my thoughts of getting to Bella.
I felt a sharp piercing pain as I fell to the ground. My legs were writhing as I tried to fight back. It was a bloodsucker; she had those same strange coloured eyes as the Cullen's so why was she attacking me?
I cried out in pain in my wolf form and willed myself to fight back. My body was having none of that. I growled at her as loud and as fierce as I could when I saw her coming again. She was a stunning creature if she wasn't so repulsive. I snapped at her trying to grab her neck in my muzzle but she maneuvered away from my face and went behind me. I howled in pain again as she knocked me in the side with her strength.
This time I heard her snarl at me as if I provoked her—which I'm sure, I didn't. I don't even remember meeting her before. Who the hell was she!?
My leg was starting to heal as I got up now poised for battle. She bared her fangs at me and crouched low as if she was ready to spring at me. I got ready to pounce on her when I felt my legs give way again, for some reason they weren't healing, or maybe they healed the wrong way and now my bones were stuck in the wrong position.
I groaned out in pain as she sprang. She knew when to attack and she took the advantage. I couldn't even stop her as she went to sink her teeth into me. I knew this was it I was going to die.
The venom from her mouth would most likely kill me. I looked up at her and my eyes rolled back but before I could disappear forever I saw two more bloodsuckers appear one had strawberry blond hair and another woman with lighter blond hair. Their demeanor was different.
Then I felt another pair of teeth sink into the same spot that was bitten by the first one as I slipped into oblivion, at the same time turning back into my human self.
BELLA SWAN
As I was getting ready I heard a loud earsplitting howl from just outside the house. I sprang up from the chair that I was sitting in as Alice got me ready. We both turned towards the sounds and I knew something was wrong. I'd heard a similar sound a few months ago when Jake heard Edward and I talking about our wedding.
"Alice what was that!? You heard it right?" I asked frantically. Something bad must have happened. I wanted to run down there and ask Seth. Most of the guests were here and Alice had informed me that the wolves were here. I got up from the chair before Alice could respond and was about to run downstairs when she grabbed my shoulder and stopped me.
"Bella you can't go down there yet, it's not time for the wedding, and you can't ruin it because the wolf howled."
"Alice you don't understand, it wasn't just a howl that was something painful. That was not just some howl Alice something must have gone wrong!" I cried out and I knew Edward heard me because the next second he was knocking at the door.
"Bella is everything okay?" he asked in a strained voice.
"Edward you can't be here, you can't see her until she walks down the aisle!" Alice hissed from the room at him.
"Bella are you alright?" he asked me totally ignoring her.
"No Edward something happened to the wolf pack! I heard that howl, did you hear it?" I asked even though I knew he did too.
"Yeah I heard it, Seth ran off to see what it was, because Sam was too far for me to hear his thoughts," said Edward from outside the door. I lunged for the doorknob but Alice stopped me.
"Come on Bella stop it! This is your wedding day, you can't be thinking about others!" said Alice.
"Alice please! They're my friends if something happened to them then I don't know what I'd do," I cried out hoping that she'd let me go.
"Alice let her go," said Edward with clenched teeth from the sound of it.
Alice huffed and puffed but she moved out of my way. I opened the door to see Edward standing there in his crisp suit. He was very solemn until his eyes meet mine and he looked over me. His frown changed into a grim smile.
"You look beautiful, absolutely perfect," he whispered and for a second I lost my self.
"Edward take me to Seth please! I want to know what is going on!" I pleaded. He just nodded and pulled me into his arms and ran. He ran fast enough so that any humans around could not have noticed us.
When we were finally able to catch up to him he let me go and put me to the ground. I ran to Seth and he turned to me with the most painful eyes. Seth nudged his body against mine as he pushed his nose to my face softly. "What happened?" I asked in horror as I searched his eyes.
I turned back to Edward and I could feel the pain emanating off of him. My eyes went wide with fear as I clung to him in worry. "What happened!? Edward, tell me, what happened?"
He looked down at me in pain and in fear. I could tell he was going to keep it from me. I shook my head furiously. "No you tell me right now! Edward you tell me right now what is going on!" I asked in fear. I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. Something very wrong, and I had a feeling it had to do with Jacob.
I looked at Edward and it seemed that he wasn't going to tell me. So I turned to Seth. "Seth please tell me what's going on! Phase back right now!" I demanded but he just put his head down and looked at me.
"Bella he can't, he needs to know what's going on," said Edward quietly.
I whirled around at him, glaring daggers. "Then you tell me what's going on!" He just stared at me quietly the pain still vivid in his eyes. He didn't say anything and it was raking at my nerves. "Edward please!"
"Bella, this isn't easy…." He said as he trailed off in quiet. I turned to Seth again but he was gone in his own world.
"It's Jake isn't it…?" I asked in a whisper when neither moved to say anything. Seth let out a whine and Edward hissed. My eyes flashed red and I let out a cry of pain as something inside of me turned. "Edward what happened? Tell me what happened to him!" I pounded my fists into his chest, but he didn't budge. "Tell me what happened!"
He was still quiet so I turned back to Seth. "Seth take me to him! Wherever he is take me to him please!" I said with an ache in my voice. He got up at my plea, I knew then that whatever it was he wanted to be there. He bent his body down so I could get down.
At that moment I didn't care about the wedding. Nothing else registered in my mind except for getting to Jacob. If I didn't get to him soon it might be too late then I would never see him again. Tears sprang into my eyes as I went to grab his fur. Seth got up and was about to spring. He glanced at Edward once to see if it was okay.
His eyes were still glazed over in pain, then he looked up at me. "Bella don't go there, you'll never be able to get over it."
"If I don't go now Edward I'll never forgive myself. I know he's hurt, I just know it!" Edward cringed at my urgency.
"Is this what you want Bella?" asked Edward.
I looked at him and hoped he could forgive me. If he couldn't…I didn't really seem to care. Jacob was filling my mind so completely that I needed to get to him as fast as I could. "Yes Edward this is what I want!" I said with urgency. "Please Edward let me go."
He looked into my eyes as if this was his final thought. "I would never stop you Bella from what you really want. I'm just glad you finally decided." The way he said those words I knew that there was a hidden meaning but at that time I didn't really consider it.
I nodded at that and willed Seth to run as fast as his paws could take him. I still didn't know what had happened to Jake but my mind was burning with worry. I kept imagining the most impossible yet painful things which just made me cry even more. I was clutching Seth around the neck, my wedding dress was messed and torn now. I knew Alice would kill me but what did I care at that moment. Clothes were not as important as my best friend.
We were there in what seemed like hours but that was probably because I needed to be there right away. Seth got us there and the scene that waited ahead of me made me feel as if I'd been wrenched in two. There lay Jacob fallen on the ground. His body was in human form as he lay there lifeless between Sam and the rest of the pack. Sam had turned back to his human form as he tried to assess the wounds. There was only one bite mark on his leg, which were clear signs of venom from a vampire.
I jumped off of Seth then and ran to Jacob. My body acted on its own as I stumbled and fell twice but still made it over to him. Tears were falling seamlessly as I cradled him in my arms. I let out a loud sob as I cried over him. His body which was so unbearably hot was dimming down. It was as if his life energy was being drained out of him.
"Jake! Please wake up! Don't leave me!" I cried out in misery. My voice cracking as I sat there surrounded by Jacob's family, his brothers and sister.
I sat there sobbing loudly as I held him close. Then I felt the first flutter of movement. My head snapped down to him as I searched his face. Was he still alive? Had he heard my voice? Hoping that he had heard I started speaking to him again. I didn't care that the pack was watching me as if I was crazy I would do anything, absolutely anything I could to bring him back to me.
"Bella…?" I heard his melodic voice rasp over. His eyes were still closed but I could feel the life seeping back in. I felt for his pulse and it was very, very low as if it was just giving up.
"Jake! Jake it's me Bella I'm here for you," I said frantically. His eyelids were moving but he didn't open them. His fingers twitched, but they didn't move. Tears were falling in sporadic streams. "Jake! Jacob Black you look at me! Don't you dare leave me!"
"Bella," he whispered again and I wanted him so badly to open his eyes and smile at me. Fill me with his brightness again. "Bella… I…"
"What is it Jake? Just wake up please, come back to me! Please don't leave me," I sobbed into his bare chest that seemed so dull so cold. My tears fell on his chest unheeded, ignored. I felt Sam's hand on my shoulder. I don't know if it was for reassurance or to tell me to let him go. But neither would help me.
I thought of Jacob dying here in my arms and I realized then that I would want to die along with him. I couldn't imagine my life without him. It was why I was crying so much since he left, the reason why I was hurting so much this past month, because he wasn't here with me anymore like before.
I was in love with him, more so than Edward. He was the sole reason for my living; he kept me safe and sane. He made me laugh and had no worries of hurting me. He was my other half and without him I wound never be whole. I was still crying silently as the pack watched over us when two new people walked into the clearing where we were.
The pack immediately started growling and so I looked up thinking Edward had some after me. But when I looked up I saw two gorgeous women with the same golden eyes that the Cullen's had. One was a strawberry blond and I immediately thought of Tanya. The description that Edward had told me about Tanya made me think of only her when I looked at this woman. The other girl beside her had a lighter shade of blond and was equally beautiful.
I strained to look at her because my eyes had become puffy; I must have looked a sight to them. "Bella?" asked the strawberry blond who I assumed was Tanya.
"Yeah, are you Tanya?" I asked. I hoped that the wolves wouldn't attack they might be able to help. They would know more about vampire venom than any of us here.
"Yes, we were just heading to your… wedding," said Tanya as she looked me over and probably saw the rips and tears of the wedding dress. Her eyes then fell on Jacob and I held him closer, more protectively. "Bella I'm so sorry for your…..friend. He was unlucky in crossing paths with Irina while she was still brooding about her friend Laurent."
When she said those words I felt as if I was just shot, that a whole was punched right through me. This was because of Laurent and Irina. I remember her name; it was the main reason why the Denali coven didn't come to our aid during the newborn war. The only companions we had were the Quileute pack.
"Irina did this to him!?" I hissed as I glared at her. "Tanya what the hell did she do to him!? He never hurt her!"
Tanya looked taken aback at my intensity. "Look Bella I understand that he didn't do anything but she was hurting, we stopped her before she could do anything too damaging. I sucked out the venom before it set into his blood. It should take him longer to heal than humans because he is a werewolf, but he'll be fine," she said in a calm voice.
Those last words filled me with hope. "He'll be okay? He won't…die?" I asked in a choked out voice.
"No he won't die," she said with a nod of her head.
"Thanks for saving him then Tanya, I don't know what I'd have don't if he were to die," I said with a watery smile. I just couldn't let him go he was too precious to me.
"It's the least I could do since we weren't able to help before," she said with a slight frown. "So I'll see you back at the Cullen's…?" she asked as if she was unsure.
"Yeah…" I said not really paying attention. I turned back to Jacob and stroked his face. His eyes fluttered open then and stared deep into mine. His hand came slowly up to mine which were resting on his cheek.
"Hi…" he croaked out as he tried to smile. He winced at the pain.
"Hi," I blubbered as I went to hug him to me.
"How are you?" he asked, and it made me laugh and cry at the same time. He shouldn't be worrying about me.
"I'm fine you idiot, how are you? Are you feeling good enough to talk?" I asked as I searched his face for any signs. I knew he wouldn't respond. He would probably just pretend he was fine and that this was nothing.
"Bella this is nothing, I've had a lot worse," he said and I did laugh then. I put my other hand on his face and pulled it up.
"I'm glad…" I looked at him with determination. I was going to make this work. "Jake…"
"Yeah," he asked when I didn't say anything for a moment.
"I love you," I said and I dipped my head down to his. My lips found his in a heady attempt for urgency. He eyes went wide as he tried to wrap his arms around me. I didn't care that the pack was all staring at me. Or that they probably wished I wasn't there with him right now. I didn't care because he was all that I needed.
His mouth fought mine with just as much urgency as he tightened his hold on me, even though I know it hurt him. His kiss was overflowing with emotions, everything he's ever felt for me I felt in the way he touched me the way he tried to hold me. I was loved by him so much that it hurt.
His feelings overflowed into me and seeped into my system making me dizzy. When we parted his smile was back and I could tell he was more than just happy, he was ecstatic.
"I love you so much Jake. I just didn't realize," I said with a smile as I pecked him again. He smiled up at me.
" I knew you would come around," he said his voice still a bit croaky. He looked me over then and frowned at the wedding gown. His face twisted then. "Was I too late?"
I frowned in confusion when I realized what he was asked about. He thought I had already tied to knot. I smiled softly then. "No you were just on time. I didn't get married. I don't think I could do that, not with anyone but you," I said as I laughed at his expression.
He was stunned and just a little confused. "He just let you go?" asked Jacob. I nodded.
"He just wants me to be happy, and I'm happy with you," I said as I rested my head on his chest.
"Well I'll be damned. I thought I had no chance in hell of getting you, but Seth was right, you did choose me," his cocky grin was back and it just filled me with the warmth I was missing. That empty space was now fully filled.
"Of course I did. Now should we get you back to your house, I think you'd need someone to look at you, plus you're not as warm as you were before," I said. "You're like room temperature." Both of us laughed at that.
Seth came up to us and nudged Jacob with his nose with a whine. He sat down beside us and whined. Jacob just laughed as he patted him and nodded. "I'm sorry I worried you Seth. Sorry guys," Jake said to everyone.
"As long as you're okay Jake, you near gave me a heart attack when you blanked out on us," said Sam. "Now let's get you back to La Push."
"How about you guys go and I'll stay here with Bella?" asked Jacob as he held me closer and kissed me possessively. I smiled and looked only at him.
The rest of the wolf pack just groaned, but Seth and Sam seemed to be in a conversation and then the rest left leaving only me, Jacob and Seth. Seth wandered farther away giving us a bit of privacy.
I looked at him and smiled. It took me a long time to realized who was most important to me. Edward was always more awe inspiring because he was a vampire and I got sucked into his world so fast. But now when I take a step back I don't understand how I could have ever chosen anyone other than Jacob. I do love Edward but it wasn't pure love, it was a fascination, an ideal of being with the unknown, but then I found Jacob. I realized my feelings for him and how much he was a part of my life.
I thought he was dying and I was ready to die with him. That in itself means that I love him more than anyone. Jacob really was my whole world, he revolved around me. He was my personal sun.
I smiled at the thought and I kissed his chest where my face was resting.
"I love you Bella…" he rasped out as he kissed the crown of my head.
"I love you too Jacob. Now you're stuck with me for as long as I'm around," I said with a laugh as he tightened his hold. His strength was coming back.
"That's just the way I like it, Bells. You're all mine, no one else's," he said as he sigh in triumph and we both closed out eyes and drifted off into oblivion.
JACOB BLACK
It's been two weeks now and I'm finally able to phase back without any pain. Bella is always at my side and that is a refreshing change. For the past two weeks we've been hanging out whenever we can.
It was strange though because I never believed that she would choose me. I just thought I'd try my luck and see where it would get me. But now here I am. I won over her without trying and I beat that stupid bloodsucker. Bella and I would be together.
Though I did feel bad for him; he was giving up on the most perfect girl, for the sake of love and happiness. I couldn't say I didn't understand, because I was close to doing the same thing. I would give anything to see Bella happy, I thought it was for her to be away from me but now I know that she can't live without me.
When we got back, I felt an urge to protect Bella because I knew that the Cullen's would be confused, furious as to what she did. That she picked me over their brother. But they were calmer than I thought they'd be. It was probably because Edward had asked them. And with all the guests and stuff it must have been embarrassing but they were able to get through it without much fuss. Bella explained herself to the few people she wanted to know and then left with me. I didn't want her to lose her friends but she said it was okay.
That was Bella always ignoring her own needs and watching over everyone else. I sighed. It was one of the many reasons why I loved her so much. So now she was with me and we were happy. She still visited the Cullen's even though they were partially angry at her for choosing me, but I was proud of her for it.
Grinning I got up off the couch. Bella was snuggled beside me but she had fallen asleep. We would spend nights just watching TV or talking. And the occasional make out was good too. We were happy and I'm glad that she finally realized that I was the one for her.
I bent over to her and kissed her softly on the lips. She responded immediately which never ceased to amaze me. Her arms instinctively came up around my neck and pulled me down. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked straight into my eyes. I felt the smile on her lips and she made me shudder in pleasure.
We were prefect together. We were in love. And we were happily oblivious to the world around us as we lost ourselves in the love that we shared.
The End.
A/N: So I was never a Twilight fan until the first movie came out. I watched it and still I wasn't that into it, but then I watched New Moon and fell head over heels in love with Jacob! He makes my heart flutter! XP So after watching New Moon I knew that I had to read all the books. After reading eclipse I was very disappointed that he didn't get her, even though it was obvious that she was made for Edward. So I thought I'd write what I wished would happen! So tell me what you guys thought, for all the Edward lovers please don't hate me! I am team Jacob, but only because I love his character. I know that Bella fits with Edward better, plus after reading Breaking Dawn its clear to say that Jacob fits better with Renesme, but I started writing this before reading all of Breaking Dawn.
I like how the series ended. The pairings were perfect! So don't think I don't like it. I loved Jacob with Nessie and Bella with Edward. After all she became an awesome Vampire!
So please just tell me what you guys thought! Did you like it or was it not worth your time! Thanks for reading either way! I enjoyed writing it and I hope I got their characters right!