Well this is my first Matt and Mello fan fic.. Anyway this idea came to my friend Masha and me when we were in a restaurant in France so I just decided to write it. (No yaoi, I promise). Anyway I hope you enjoy it.
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Matt and Mello were sitting in a restaurant in a small town a couple of hours away from Paris. It was a nice cool day so they decided to eat outside of the restaurant even though the horrible smell of cigarettes stung their nostrils ( not that Matt actually minded).
Mello was quickly browsing the menu angrily while Matt was playing his Game Boy with a grin on his face. He just leveled up his Pikachu.
"Matt stop messing around with that peace of crap and order something," said Mello.
"I can barely speak French so what makes you think I can read it?" said the redhead still absorbed in his game.
Mello gave a low growl. He had the sudden urge to shoot something. "Well think of something to order…"
There was a short silence.
"Well…. I want something… French!" said Matt with a goofy grin.
Mello slapped his forehead. "Matt, you are the most useless person I have ever met."
"Correction, the most useless person you have met so far," said Matt and took a long drag from his cigarette.
Mello had had enough of Matts smartass attitude for a day. He took out his gun and shot the cigarette out of Matts mouth. The couple that was sitting on other table screamed and ran.
"Next time it'll be that stupid machine you are playing," snapped Mello.
All the color had drained out of Matt's cheeks. He only nodded and continued playing his Game Boy until the waiter came.
The waiter said something in French which Mello couldn't understand but Matt could. Matt had taken French before and passed with a pretty decent grade. Well, that's what Mello hoped.
Without looking up from his Game Boy, Matt responded quickly and the waiter left.
"What did you tell him?" questioned Mello suspiciously.
"I told him to bring us what he thought was best," said Matt.
Mello groaned. Last time Matt told the waiter that, they brought some kind of funky steak covered with funny smelling sauce. He swore he could see the thing moving in his plate. Mello cursed the day he chose to learn Spanish over French.
"Matt, if my dinner moves even an inch, I will shoot you and the god damned waiter until I know you're both good and dead," swore Mello .
"Mello, haven't you ever heard the saying, 'Violence is not the answer'?" said Matt.
"Well the idiot who came up with that saying can kiss my---"
The waiter had arrived with their food. Mello was horrified. What the waiter served them was salad. Cold, tasteless salad. The waiter first gave Mello his salad and he couldn't stop staring at it with his mouth open in horror. Right when the waiter set Matts on the table, Mello shot him with out even looking up from his food… well if you can call salad food.
Matt calmly took off his goggles, looked down from his Game Boy and saw the shot waiter on the floor. "Mello, why did you have to shoot the waiter…again?!"
Mello looked up still horrified. "This jackass is trying to poison me with salad! Tasteless salad for dinner? What kind of country is this?!"
Matt rolled his eyes and put his goggles back on. "This isn't the main course, it's the appetizer, and you don't have to eat it if you don't want to."
Mello twitched and continued staring at his cold salad. "Matt take this thing away from me before I go on a rampage."
Matt almost immediately shot up from his chair and took the salad away from Mello before he did something that would draw attention to them… well more attention. It wasn't exactly the best time to start becoming famous in France.
Another waiter came to their table and noticed the shot waiter on the floor. He was about to yell out something but Matt held out a large amount of euros neatly together and said something. The waiter ( the one that was alive) greedily snatched the euros out of Matts hand, smiled, and dragged the shot waiter away somewhere.
Mello what happened and asked, "How much money did you give him to keep his mouth shut?"
Matt shrugged and went back to his Game Boy. "A couple of thousand. Just enough to shut him up."
Mello decided to forget about it. After all, it was Matt paying for all of this.
A couple of minutes passed and the same waiter Matt had bribed took away the salads and brought the main course.
Matt took off his goggles, "Well Mello, you don't have to worry if it's alive."
The main course was a medium-rare steak with some weird sauce on top (Mello had noticed that in most meat they always put some sort of sauce on top. Pretty weird if you asked him).
Mello grabbed his fork and poked the steak. It didn't move but Mello wouldn't be satisfied that easily. He quickly sniffed it and it didn't smell funny like the other steak did. He stared at it for a couple of minutes making sure it didn't move.
"Just eat it Mello," said Matt as he turned off his Game Boy and began to grab his fork and knife.
"Matt, shut up and mind your own steak," said Mello without taking his eyes off his plate.
Matt gave up and sighed. "You're the boss."
"You're god damned right I am," replied Mello and began poking his food with his knife now.
After a couple of minutes of poking and observing, Mello finally decided that the steak was not alive and (since Matt had finished his and lived) eatable. He grabbed his fork and knife and began to cut the steak. Mello kept trying to cut a piece off it but the stupid knife wouldn't pierce the meat!
Mello's face was beginning to get red with anger. After a couple of seconds Mello got sick of trying to cut the stupid piece of meat. He took out his gun and shot the plate three times.
Matt jumped up and said, "What's wrong now?"
Mello snarled, "The stupid knife won't cut the god forsaken meat!"
Matt sighed. He knew this was another one of Mellos tantrums. "Are you sure you're even trying?"
"Of course I'm trying you idiot!" snapped Mello.
The same waiter Matt bribed came back to see what the commotion was all about. When he got near the table he said something in French. That really just made things worst.
"I have had enough of this French bullshit!" yelled Mello. He stood up, grabbed the plate full of food and threw it at the waiter. Then he got his gun, shot him, and stomped off.
"Where are you going?" yelled Matt.
"Somewhere with chocolate and no salads or impossible to cut meat!" yelled Mello.
Matt groaned, quickly left some euros to cover the bill, and ran after Mello. He had a feeling tonight was going to be bad but not this bad. Well at least something good happened to Matt…he got to level up his Pikachu.