Love's Not A Competition (But I'm Winning)
A/N: This is my first ever fanfiction so I'm sorry if it's rubbish. I changed the timelines a bit so although they're still in school just assume that Craig and John Paul are already sleeping together/in love.
Title comes from the brilliant song by the Kaiser Chiefs.
Sarah looked up from the exam paper in front of her.
'Finished', she thought, smiling slightly to herself as she sat back in her chair to wait for the exam to end. She felt she'd done well, and she was pleased, because even if her career as a model started to take off, it couldn't hurt to have some A levels under her belt as well. 'Just in case.'
As she waited, she lazily surveyed the room, looking at the backs of the heads of her fellow students in front of her. Some, like her, were finished, but some were still hard at work. She saw Nancy, in front of her, nose almost touching the page, pen flying across the paper as she raced to finish her answer before time was up. 'I don't know how she does it.' To the right of Nancy, Hannah was sitting, idly doodling on the back of her page. From where she sat, Sarah could not see Hannah's face, but by the slump of her shoulders and her bowed head she could tell that she was still upset, had been ever since John Paul... well, he broke her heart. 'I'm worried about her.'
Sarah knew that Hannah had every right to be angry with John Paul, hell, she'd been angry herself when she'd found out how JP had messed her about, but she sincerely hoped that they could work out their differences and continue to be friends, as they'd really been better off that way anyway.
Finally, she stopped at the the two boys sitting to her right.
Two desks over from her, sat her friend, John Paul. He was leaning on the desk, staring towards the front wall of the classroom, pen in hand and tapping out a rhythm against his page. 'I can't believe we never knew' she thought, watching the blond as he continued to fiddle with the pen in his hand. It had really shocked her when John Paul had suddenly dumped Hannah and come out as gay to the whole school, the whole village. It had shocked everyone. Especially the fact that the reason he came out was that his girlfriend caught him trying to snog his best mate! But she wasn't going to think about that, Craig had told her, the kiss was all John Paul, he had nothing to do with it, 'and I believe him.'
Still, it continued to amaze her that no one had seen that John Paul was unhappy in his relationship. In hindsight it was clear to see that he had been pushed into asking Hannah out, a fact that she blamed in part on herself and Craig. 'We just wanted someone to double date with'. The thing that most surprised her was Hannah, who had spent the most time with him, kissed him, slept with him, and all the time she had no idea.
'Sometimes people just can't see what's right under their nose.'
Turning her head slightly, she looked upon the boy in the seat next to her, head bent low over the paper, working hard to get the top grades he needed if his dreams of going to Trinity were to come to fruition. 'He's so clever'. As she watched, she saw her boyfriend pause in his work, stopping to chew on the end of his pen as he tried to think what to write next. The action was just so Craig that it made her smile, she nearly laughed, before she remembered she was still in an exam. She looked at the brown haired boy. They'd had their problems, but they always got through them.
'He makes me happy,' she thought, 'and that's why I'll always fight for him.'
'I love him.'
-------
John Paul looked up from where he had been tapping his pen against his exam desk for the last ten minutes, he felt like someone was watching him. Looking across to his left, he glanced quickly at Sarah, feeling the guilt rise up from deep inside him as he always did lately when he looked at her. 'She's got no idea.'
Looking at her, he thought it might have been her who he sensed looking at him, 'not who I wanted it to be'. He noticed she was looking at the person situated between their two desks, and following her line of sight, he gulped at the sight that met his eyes.
Craig Dean was beautiful.
That had always been clear to John Paul, since the first day he'd met him, though it had taken him a while longer to recognise these feelings for the crush that they were.
Now, as usual, the intense wave of conflicting emotions that he had come to expect when looking at Craig crashed over him; he felt incredible guilt and remorse, for what they had done, were still doing, to Sarah, yet satisfaction that he had finally gotten what he had dreamed of for so long. 'It's so wrong, but it's wonderful'. He held a bitter anger, that Craig continued to lie to the both of them, letting Sarah believe their relationship was perfect whilst promising him that he'd end it the first chance he got. 'When the time is right'.
Yet all of that, everything, was completely overruled by the unbelievable amounts of affection, compassion and loyalty he felt for the boy, which he just could not shake.
'That's why I hate him,' he thought, 'and that's why I'll never leave him.'
'I love him.'
-------
Craig Dean finally looked up from the last exam paper he would sit in sixth form. He was confident that he'd done the best he could do, he only hoped that it was enough. 'It's never enough.'
Stealing a glance to his right, he saw John Paul, his best mate, 'my lover.' He was staring hard at his desk, a frown creasing his forehead, and in that moment all Craig wanted to do was touch him, smooth the wrinkle between his brows, kiss a smile onto his pale face, see his deep blue eyes light up in that way they did whenever Craig kissed him. 'He's Beautiful.'
Tearing his eyes away, he forced himself to think of something else, anything else. Turning to his left, he soon met the eyes of the girl sitting next to him, 'my girlfriend.' She was looking at him, and seemed startled to have been caught in her spectating. As she looked up at him, almost shyly, from beneath her thick lashes, he was reminded of just why he fell for the stunning girl all those months ago. 'She's Gorgeous.'
Always in the middle. Always having to choose, to lie, to take the easy way out, well not anymore.
'I love her,' he thought, 'but I love John Paul.'
THE END
A/N: Please Review!