Long has pale the sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die.
Autumn frosts have slain July.
Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.
-Lewis Carroll
They weren't very far from the Mad Hatter's house when the Knave asked the very same question she was struggling with.
"So…what now?"
They were back in the thick part of the Tulgey Wood, with no path to be seen, and Alice had spent the last 10 minutes relieving some of her frustration by hacking away at the underbrush with the heavy branch she'd found not too far in. Now she sighed and stopped in her tracks. It seems she couldn't avoid that question forever.
She swiped at the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand. "I don't know."
She heard him huff behind her. "I mean really, Alice. All we have to go on is that Cyrus may be alive, and that he may have stayed at the Hatter's house. We don't even know what direction he went he left. All we have is a glowing necklace that doesn't do us the slightest bit of good."
She bit her lip. He was right. They had no way of knowing which way Cyrus had gone. For all she knew she could be going in the opposite direction.
Alice had a sudden thought. "Rabbit! You said the Dormouse saw him, right?"
"Well, uh," he rubbed his front paws together, "yes. At least that is what he told me."
She turned to face the Knave. "So we'll find him," she declared. "He might know what Cyrus's plans were."
He didn't look convinced. "You do remember the Dormouse, don't you? Usually drunk from too much whiskey in his tea? Falls asleep at a moment's notice? Tendency to babble out random bits of poetry? Do you really think he's going to have any useful information?"
"Well do you have any better ideas?" she snapped. The White Rabbit stood between them, looking nervously from one to the other.
"No, but—"
"That's what I thought," she cut him off. To her embarrassment, she could feel tears prickling in her eyes and she looked away, blinking hard. The euphoria she felt at knowing Cyrus was alive had faded and now she just felt helpless, and tired. She'd thought she'd lost him all over again today, and even finding Cyrus's amulet on the ground did not completely take away the loss she felt when she realized the Hatter's house was empty.
"Hey." She glanced back at the Knave. "I'm sorry." He took a few steps closer, hands shoved in his pants pockets, ducking his head a little to force her to meet his eyes. "You're right. The Dormouse is the best lead we have. And if he had the presence of mind to send a message to you, then he has to know something, right?"
She took a deep breath. "Right."
He nodded. "Okay then. Now," he clapped his hands together, "where can we find the Dormouse, Rabbit?"
The White Rabbit adjusted his spectacles. "Well, let's see… I last saw him near the mallow marsh, but I believe he actually lives on the edge of the Queen of Hearts old maze. A lot of denizens of the Tulgey Wood have moved there." He eyed the trees around them. "This place isn't as safe as it once was."
Alice sighed. The Queen of Heart's maze was several days' walk from the Hatter's House.
"Well," she shifted her grip on the branch, lifting it up. "We'd better get started. " She turned back to the path she'd been making through the underbrush.
"Wait."
Alice huffed and turned around. "What now, Knave?"
He held his palms up. "I was just going to say that maybe we should camp for the night, try to get some sleep. We've already been walking all night."
She shook her head. "I don't think so. We need to find the Dormouse as soon as possible."
He gave out a frustrated groan. "Would you stop being so bloody stubborn and listen to me? It's going to take hours to get through this wood and it's almost dawn already. We might as well get some rest now while we are on the edge than when we are smack dab in the middle of it."
"He's right, Alice," the Rabbit said. "There are worse things than the Cheshire cat in these woods. Better to travel through them in daylight."
She didn't reply, instead turning her head to stare further into the woods. She could only see a tree or two ahead, but she couldn't help the itch she felt to keep moving, as if Cyrus was just on the other side, waiting for her. Finally she dropped her shoulders and lowered the tip of the branch to the ground. "Alright," she said softly.
The Knave shot her a half smile. "Good." He looked around at the ground and bushes surrounding them before sitting down against the base of a tree. "Well, this is as good a place as any I suppose."
The White Rabbit sat gingerly on a root next to him, pulling out his pocket watch and blinking at the time. "Should we move on at say, nine o'clock?" he asked. "That should give us a few hours of rest."
"Yeah, well, to you that means 8:30," the Knave grumbled.
"It doesn't hurt to be punctual," the Rabbit sniffed.
"Whatever." The Knave looked up at Alice from his spot against the tree. "Are you going to drop that stick and sit down already? Or are you going to stand there all night?"
Alice sighed and started looking for a spot she could lie down. A few feet from the tree the Knave had chosen there was a stretch of ground free of bushes or twigs, so she sat down there, placing the branch within arm's reach beside her. (How she wished the branch was a sword.) Then she curled up on her side, tucking arm beneath her head for a pillow.
The Knave shifted uncomfortably against the tree and sighed. "I'm really going to miss my bed," he muttered.
Alice ignored him. She curled her hand around the warmth of the Cyrus's amulet and tried to go to sleep.
She dreamed of Cyrus, like she did most nights, and woke with his name on her lips. Her eyes snapped open and she saw grass, and for a moment she had no idea where she was.
"Rise and shine, love! I think you've had enough beauty rest."
And then she remembered.
Wonderland. Cyrus.
"How long have I been asleep?" She rubbed her eyes and sat up. As she did she felt something slide off her shoulders, leaving the skin of her arms bare to the chill morning air. She looked down and saw leather. The Knave's jacket.
"Not sure. Longer than we planned anyway. The Rabbit's gone so we missed our wake up call."
"He's gone?" She looked around the small clearing. Sure enough, the White Rabbit was nowhere in sight. "Where did he go?"
The Knave shrugged from his spot against the tree. "No idea, he was gone when I woke up, which was about an hour ago."
"An hour?" She stood up, ignoring the jacket as it fell. "You've been awake for a whole hour? Why didn't you wake me up?"
He shrugged again. "I was waiting for the Rabbit. And I thought you needed the rest."
"No," she brushed off the grass and dirt on her clothes. "What I need is to find Cyrus. And lounging around in the woods isn't going to do that. We need to go. We can't wait for the Rabbit."
"Right. Let's go tromp through the dangerous woods without a guide. It sounds like great fun."
"You forget, Knave, that I practically lived here growing up. I know how to get to the Queen of Heart's maze from here."
"Of course you do." He sighed as he stood up, tugging the sleeves of his sweater down to cover his wrist.
Alice suddenly remembered the jacket. She swooped down to pick it up, shaking off the grass before holding it out to him. "Um, thank you," she muttered, all at once feeling shy and embarrassed at her treatment of the clothing item.
He took it from her. "You looked cold," he said it almost as if he was defending himself. Then he shot her a grin. "And who wouldn't be?" He eyed the slip and corset she was wearing. "Wearing only that at night? Couldn't you have taken the time to get dressed after you beat the guards unconscious?"
The embarrassment vanished, replaced by a very feeling of irritation. She rolled her eyes and turned around, scooping to pick up the branch shed set down the night before. "Come on, we're wasting time." She stalked off further into the woods.
"Yes, ma'am," he smarted off behind her, and then followed.
They walked all day. Pausing only for short rests and to scrounge around for food ("You know one of those wishes would come in handy for say, getting something to eat other than these sodding berries," the Knave had grumbled) and despite the constant commentary and complaints she had to listen to, and the hour or so where she led them in the completely wrong direction ("I thought you knew were you going, since you practically lived here and all?") by the time they settled down to camp by the small stream they'd found, Alice was pleased with their progress.
"We should be at the maze by early tomorrow evening," she declared as she sat down, cross legged a few feet from the stream.
The Knave flopped down beside her, leaning back on one elbow so he could peer past her shoulder and into the woods at her back. "Good. I am absolutely sick of this wood."
She agreed with him. The Tulgey Wood was completely different now than the one she had travelled through so often as a child. It was too quiet. Too still. Perhaps the Cheshire cat was right, she thought. Maybe they were the only things left here.
And yet, that didn't seem quite right. Despite its silence, she couldn't help but feel like there was something else in the woods with them. She looked up across the stream and into the trees on the other side, but all she could see was darkness, no sign of anything else.
Beside her the Knave groaned and kicked off his shoes.
"That's probably not a good idea," she told him.
"I don't care. I haven't walked so bloody much in years." He stretched his legs out, flexing sock covered toes and groaned again.
Alice couldn't help the small chuckle she let out.
He glanced up at her. "What? Oh don't tell me your feet aren't killing you. With those heels? And you probably walked less than I did, sitting in that asylum."
"Yes, but the last time I took my boots off someone ran away with them," she said pointedly.
"Oh, would you let go of that already?" he huffed. "I came back. You still have all your wishes, and you know I'm not going to do it again."
"Because you know there's no point in stealing wishes now."
"You know that's not the only reason. Now," he pointed a finger at her, "I've seen you beat several men unconscious wearing only socks and a slip, so I don't think it matters if we get ambushed by something while you don't have your boots on. You might as well get comfortable."
He had a point, so she did as he suggested, leaning back on her palms as she stretched her leg out. She wiggled her toes and shot him a smile.
"Better," he nodded. "Now, I am going to go to sleep." He lay back, arms behind his head. "We've got another exciting day of walking ahead of us tomorrow."
But despite how tired she was, Alice couldn't fall asleep. She couldn't get comfortable, the woods was still eerily quiet, and the Knave was right, her clothes didn't do much for warmth.
He didn't seem to have any trouble however. It seemed like just a few minutes after he said he was going to sleep, he was asleep. Alice envied him. Instead she was sitting up again, thumb absently circling the stone of the amulet as she listened to the very soft tinkling of the stream in front of her. It was strange, even the sound of that seemed to be dampened.
What had happened here? Why had Wonderland changed so much? The Knave seemed to know, or at least knew something about it. She made a mental note to ask him about it the next day.
As she thought of the Knave she turned her gaze to him. He'd rolled over onto his side at some point, one arm tucked under his head, eye brows scrunched together slightly even as he slept. She had to admit, he was very helpful today. Not just because he had a knack for finding food when it seemed like there wasn't any around, or that he volunteered to be the one to climb the tree when they got lost, but because despite how much he could annoy her sometimes, he was very good a distracting her. Distracting her from her thoughts about Cyrus, about the asylum or about how strange the wood really was now. He seemed to have perfect timing at saying or doing something that would require her attention just as it all was getting to her. He also seemed to know just when she needed a break and how to talk her into it when she was, admittedly, to stubborn to stop.
She was, despite how much they argued, grateful that he had come along. This would have been so much harder without him, she thought, watching the rise and fall of his shoulders as he slept.
Alice sighed and looked away, deciding to give sleep another try. She curled up on her side, back to the Knave, and wrapped her arms around herself for warmth.
The only sound in the night was the stream and the soft rhythmic in and out of the Knaves breathing, so she focused on that, and soon drifted off.
When she woke up she was covered by the leather jacket again. She wasn't sure when that could have happened, considering she fell asleep way after the Knave, but there it was all the same: around her shoulders and tucked neatly under her chin like it was a blanket. She stretched underneath it, rolling over onto her back so she could see the early morning sunlight filter through the trees.
Today they'd make it to the Dormouse. Today she'd figure out how to find Cyrus.
She got up, stretching her arms out above her head before she swooped down to grab her boots. The Knave was still sleeping just a few feet away, head pillowed on a soft patch of grass, arms crossed over his chest. With a grin she walked quietly so she could stand over him, and then dropped the jacket on his chest.
"Rise and shine, Knave!" she said cheerfully when he jerked awake. "Time to get moving."
"Bloody hell," he grumbled, rubbing at his eyes. "There are better ways to wake someone, you know."
Alice shrugged and walked over to the stream. "Should I have splashed you instead?" She scooped up some water in her hand and lightly tossed it at him.
He ducked under his jacket. "You're certainly in a good mood, today," he muttered, eyeing her from where he was still sitting on the ground.
"And why shouldn't I be? Today we find Cyrus."
"Actually, today we find a dormouse," he corrected. He stood up, shaking out his jacket before slipping it over his shoulders.
Alice sipped from the water cupped in her hand. Cold droplets ran down her arms, giving her goose bumps and chasing away any remnants of sleep. "Well," she said once she was done, "since finding the Dormouse will help me find Cyrus, I choose to believe it is the same thing." She stood up, wiping her hands on her skirt.
"If you say so, love."
She did.
Except when they reached the maze, it was absolutely crawling with the Red Queen's guard.
The maze didn't resemble anything like the perfectly trimmed, geometric hell she recalled from her last visit to Wonderland. Now, it was wild and overgrown. With the Queen of Hearts gone, the hedges that made up the walls were returning to their natural shape, branches and leaves reaching up and out, twisting across the walkway to tangle together so that the guards stalking down the overgrown paths now had to cut their way through. Even the roses had grown wild, scattered in a disorderly fashion along thorny branches, red buds mixing with long ago forbidden white.
Alice watched the guards hack down the roses in despair from their hiding spot in the trees. "The quickest way to the Dormouse's house on the other side is through the maze," she moaned. "It's going to take at least another day to go around it."
"There's no point," piped a familiar voice from behind her.
She whirled around. "Rabbit! Where have you been?"
The White Rabbit shot her a stern look through his glasses. "Looking for you. It was lucky that I managed to catch up and meet you here in time."
"What do you mean there's no point?" the Knave asked.
"Well, you aren't the only ones looking for the Dormouse." He nodded back at the maze behind them.
Alice turned around just in time to see all of the Red Guard marching out of the maze, the guard in front cradling a very fat, sleeping Dormouse who still had jam dripping down his nose.
"No," she breathed. "We've got to help him!" She started to run forward only to be jerked back by a hand on her arm.
"No, Alice." The Knave pulled her back against his chest, hands circling her forearms so she couldn't run off. "It's too dangerous."
"We can't just let them take him," she protested, yanking free of the Knave's hold. "He knows where Cyrus is!"
She didn't get a few feet before he grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "Alice, listen to me," he pleaded. "I know you took down five men at the Asylum by yourself but there are at least thirty armed guards and you don't even have a weapon."
"He's right, Alice," the Rabbit said. "You can't help Cyrus if you get killed or taken to the Red Queen."
She didn't reply. The Red Guard was already so far away. She watched the last of the guards' scarlet uniforms disappear just around the corner of the road, on their way back to the Queen. Her shoulders slumped.
"I'm sorry, Alice," The Knave said quietly. He met her eyes when she turned around, brows furrowed over apologetic. His hand was still holding hers and he squeezed it, as if to comfort her.
She dropped his hand.
They stayed in the woods again that night, taking shelter under the trees in case any of the Red Guard came back. The White Rabbit went immediately to sleep, providing them with no explanation as to his disappearance. Alice, however, didn't even try. She sat crossed legged on the ground, Cyrus's amulet cupped in her palms, thumb tracing over the glowing red jewel over and over again.
She didn't know what to do.
The Dormouse had been her only plan, her only lead in finding Cyrus and now the Red Queen had him. She couldn't exactly break into the Queen's dungeons and sneak him out. The Knave was right. She was just one girl in her night clothes, without even a sword to fight with.
The woods were still strangely quiet. The only things she could hear were the Rabbit's snores and the Knave as he fidgeted from his spot against the tree he was sharing with the Rabbit. After a while she heard him sigh and get up. He sat back down next to her, mimicking her crossed legged position and close enough that their knees almost touched.
"We'll find him, Alice," he said softly.
"We were so close," she murmured. "If we had just left earlier this morning or walked a little longer last night. If we had just gotten there sooner—" She cut herself off, wiping at her eyes.
"There's no point going down the "what if" road, love," he murmured. "It doesn't lead to anywhere good. Trust me I know."
She traced the edges of the amulet with her fingers. The warm glow that lit up the jewel tinted her fingers pink. "It's too much of a coincidence that the Red Queen wanted the Dormouse the same day we needed to speak to him."
She could see the Knave nod in the corner of her eyes. "You're right. You're not the only one who is looking for Cyrus that is for sure." He tore up some grass and threw it in the air. "And she probably found out the Dormouse knew something from us. The Cheshire cat is not the only thing in these woods that works for her now."
The thought didn't make her feel any better.
They sat in silence for a while. She shifted so she was cradling her knees, right arm propped up so she could dangle the amulet and watch its light move back and forth over the ground. As long as she kept thinking about Cyrus, the light would remain.
Hearts entwined, he'd said.
The Knave sighed beside her. "You're going to need to sleep sometime, Alice."
She shrugged. She didn't want to sleep. Back in the asylum the nightmares grew so frequent that she could actually tell when she might have one if she went to sleep. Tonight seemed like one of those nights. "You go on to sleep. I'm fine here."
He didn't move though. Instead he sat beside her, absently tearing up grass and letting her keep her thoughts to herself. At one point she glanced over and saw him staring at the amulet dangling from her hands, brows furrowed together in a tight, almost painful expression.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly.
He jerked a little, as if he'd forgotten she was even there, and for one brief moment he looked at her with the same pained expression. Then he blinked, and shook his head. "Nothing," he muttered, not meeting her eyes. He dropped the last handful of grass he'd been shredding and stood up.
A moment later she felt the weight of the leather jacket on her shoulders. She turned around, protest on her lips. "I don't—"
"Just take it, Alice," he cut her off, sounding tired. Without waiting for an answer he walked away, back to the tree he'd been leaning against before. She watched him pull the sleeves to his wrists and lie down, arms crossed and back to her.
She watched him for a moment. He didn't fall immediately to sleep: the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed was uneven, and every now and then he would tug ineffectually at the sleeves of his sweater, as if trying to get warmer. And still his back remained to her, as if warding off any questions or conversation.
Whatever happened next, Alice thought as she finally turned back around, she knew one thing: she needed to get better clothes, and weapon. For now she pulled the jacket tighter around her shoulders, and breathed in the now familiar scent of the leather.