Hello!

I changed it from chapters-part something to Parts-chapters something.

I thought that that made a little more sense.

Part one-chapters 1-4 are corrected (previously Chapter 1-Parts 1-4)

The Monster Within Me

Part One: How it Started

Chapter 1

My POV

There were some nights I wondered why it happened, why I was so different why I had chosen my adoptive mother. It happened so long ago. The night I changed into a monster was the worst night of my life. I hate knowing that that beast is inside of me and that there are times I can't stop it. I feel weak because I can't stop it. Sometimes I think I would be better off dead. If I were nobody would get hurt.

It was autumn, and the leaves were just changing colors. There was a full moon that night. I liked looking at the moon, I thought it was pretty. I never thought the moon would become my enemy, the marker of my change. It was really late, about eleven pm. I had woken up feeling funny. My body felt all tingly. It only too soon turned into pain, sharp pain, like a knife cutting through every part of my body.

I screamed loudly from the sudden pain and closed my eyes tightly as tears began to drip from them. My parents were beside my bed within seconds. I couldn't really hear what they were saying. My heart was pounding in my head and the pain began to worsen which didn't seem possible. I gave out a roar that sounded strange to my ears, but dismissed it when I felt like my body was being stretched. I thought I was going to throw up. I heard my parents scream and my unearthly roar-howl. Tears were streaming down my face now. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse the pain began to subside, leaving my entire body tingling and not the good kind either.

I opened my eyes and blinked. Everything was blurry. I gave a confused growl. Then a scent hit my nostrils that made my mouth water, blood. I couldn't see very well but I could sense and hear movement. I growled again, but this time deeper and further back in my throat. I attacked it, my claws digging into flesh. Wait, Claws? My head lowered and I bit my victim. There were screams then something hitting me. I turned around and dug my teeth into its flesh. My eyes closed as I began to savor the taste of blood, only making me want more.

I opened my eyes and froze. I had bitten my dad? What happened? I released my jaw from his shoulder than slowly looked behind me fearing what I might see. My heart pounded and tears swelled in my eyes, my mom was dead too. What did I do? What was wrong with me? I stood up and almost fell over. My body felt imbalanced. I looked down at my hand expecting to see it covered in blood which it was but it wasn't just covered with my skin. There were scales and fur on it too. My eyes widened. I did not scream. I was too frightened, plus I was already way beyond screaming.

Slowly I turned my head towards my mirror. Looking at my reflection only made my heart beat faster and louder. This was not me. It couldn't be me. It didn't look anything like me. This creature had dark violet hair while I had blond, and it's eyes were dark red not my blue eyes and the strange body was covered in scales, fur and pale skin, leathery bat looking wings stretched out from its spine, a dragon tail extended out of its rear and two rusty red horns stuck out of the creature's head, fangs hung out of its mouth and its hands looked claw like and there was a bloody looking X across its upper face. I felt now was the right time to scream. I screamed as loud and hard as I possibly could. I knew no one would hear me. We lived outside of town and away from other houses. Our house stood at the edge of a forest. I watched as the reflection screamed. What happened to me? I looked like a horrible monster.

I ran away, deep into the woods, on all fours, bloody tears streaming down my face. I always knew I was different, but this was ridiculous. I had always been able to sense things in an unusual way, and my eyes had glowed white a couple of times when I was by myself. I tripped over a root and fell crashing to the forest floor. I lay there panting. Most of my energy had been drained. The adrenaline in my body was decreasing. After a few moments my breathing and heart rate slowed, but no energy rose. I lay there completely exhausted. Then the pain flooded back into my body making me scream. I thrashed around in pain, my body trembling. When the mysterious pain disappeared I shivered, not from the pain or tingling, but from the cold. The cold? I hadn't been cold before. I opened my eyes. Everything was hazy for a minute before my vision cleared. My head throbbed. I felt myself and when I didn't feel anything strange I looked down at myself. All the abnormalities, the inhumanness was gone. My hair was blond, my eyes blue. Everything was completely normal. Had the whole thing been a dream? It couldn't have been, I was still covered in blood, and it wasn't mine.

Things just had to get worse didn't it? I sensed them/it, whatever, before it arrived. Their energy was like nothing I had sensed before. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. It appeared as if shadows with red eyes were rising out of the shadows. This couldn't be real, I had to be dreaming. But my senses told me otherwise. They were real. I sat up with wide eyes. They began to creep towards me. I hissed and barred my teeth. They screeched at me with an unnatural voice. Before I even had a chance to either run or defend myself a chain made out of black energy wrapped around my ankles, pulling me to the ground. I hissed again and dug my claws into the dirt as they tried to pull me into some big swirl of whiteness. I barked in protest. Barked? And clawed at the ground as they began to drag me along the ground, squawking at me the entire time.

Raven POV

I opened my eyes in confusion as I sensed something, making me fall from my meditation position to the floor. "Something's wrong … really, really wrong" I said aloud. I heard a scream, inside my head. I had to do something. I disappeared in a swirl of darkness and appeared a few feet away from what I had sensed. I blinked as I quickly took in the situation. A little girl was being dragged by what humans would call shadow creatures. They were dragging her towards a portal. They hadn't noticed me yet.

"Let her go, NOW!" I warned.

Shadow creatures are the creatures of demons. They create them and become his/her minions. My eyes glowed white and my energy surrounded my hands. They stopped and looked at me. A few of them shook. They were afraid of me. And well, they should be.

My POV

As I heard a voice yell out "Let her go, NOW!"

I raised my eyes from the ground. In front of me a few feet away was a woman wearing strange clothes, her eyes glowing the same white mine had before and blackness was surrounding her hands. Her voice almost made me shake. She kind of looked scary. I heard the things give a loud hiss then about five broke away from the group and stepped towards the woman.

Raven POV

Five took a step towards me.

My eyes narrowed, "fine have it your way. Prepare to be destroyed!"

They began to run at me. I shot at them hitting two as the other three dodged it. I swayed to the right missing one trying to bite me. My hand grasped around its throat.

"Tell me why you are here" I ordered.

"HER" it squealed looking at the girl.

"Really" I said sarcastically.

That much was already clear. I held back my shout as one bit me in my left calf, making me drop the creature in my hand and also making me fall to the ground. They prepared to jump on me. My powers surrounded me and shot outward as they leapt at me. I held them tightly. By this point the girl was standing and the others were watching. They growled, released the child then ran at me. I blasted them all away and stepped protectively in front of the child. She immediately started to cling to me. She grasped my right leg which wasn't bleeding. Her actions didn't really help as I dragged her around as I moved.

"Let go" I said trying to sound gentle. I'm pretty sure my voice sounded anything but gentle. She only held onto me tighter.

I had had enough. It was time to end this.

"Azarath Metrion Xinthos" I yelled.

Energy erupted from my body, grabbing hold of each one. My soul rose from my body in the shape of a raven and flew upwards. My energy holding them drew them into my soul where I locked them deep within my mind to get some info from them later. I fell back into my body and opened my eyes. I winced. Her fingernails were digging into my bare leg. I attempted to pry her off. She wouldn't let go.

"If you won't let go at least stop digging your nails into my leg" I said surprisingly calmly, which was far from what I was feeling.

My POV

She protected me. She fought… them. It appeared she had the same energy as the chain that had wrapped around my ankle. She made me feel safe and calm. I didn't want her to ever leave me. I wanted this feeling to stay forever. As soon as she was in front of me I grasped her leg. I was scared and needed something to cling to. She didn't seem very happy about that. When she told me to let go, it only made me hold on tighter. There was no way I was letting go; I was scared out of my mind. When I realized I was digging my finger nails into her skin I loosened my grip. She tried to tear me off of her. This time I let her, but I did not let go of her arms. I needed to be held, told it was going to be okay.

Beastboy POV

I dropped my video game controller in defeat and gave a sigh. Cyborg began to do a victory dance.

"I'm gonna go check on Raven" I said.

Robin looked at me quizzically.

"She's been in her room for like three hours, I just want to make sure she's okay…" I trailed off.

"That's a first" Robin said.

Cyborg looked at me knowingly, "BB just wants to ask her something".

Robin raised an eye brow, "really?"

"Dude, not that" I yelled knowing he thought I was going to ask her out, which I kind of was, but not like that.

"Mmnm, sure" said Robin. He was obviously enjoying this. I gave a slight growl then left.

I knocked on her door, "hey… uh, Raven?"

When I didn't hear an answer I began to ask her. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself then began to speak. I hope all this practicing in the mirror paid off.

"So… um… I was thinking… maybe we should do something, together… not like a date or anything, but like as two friends, get to know each other more, figure out how not to annoy you and get killed by you" I chuckled.

When I didn't hear anything I knocked on the door again. "Uh, Raven… you in there?"

The door opened. I expected to see her there glaring at me and telling me she was meditating and to go away, but no one was there.

"Oh, come on" I yelled, "I've been practicing that for hours and I finally get the courage and you're not even there."

Maybe she's on the roof I thought. But we hadn't seen her come out of her room yet, so where was she. Probably teleported or something" I sighed then walked to the main room.

"So… what'd she say?" asked Cyborg.

I looked at him and sighed, "she wasn't even there."

Robin looked up from his newspaper, "have you tried the roof?"

"Not yet, but… she hasn't even come out of her room. We never saw her or heard her"

Robin shrugged.

Raven POV

I finally got her off my leg only to have her cling to my arm. Her eyes were filled with fear and she was almost shaking. She needed me. She needed someone to care. And I was going to be that person.

I lifted her up and pressed her against the front of my body. She buried her face into my breasts and cried. This felt awkward. I had never in my life held a small child before or anyone for that matter. I rocked her back and forth and told her she was safe now and that I wouldn't let anything hurt her. She believed me, but the weird thing was I believed it. I was her protector at that moment. As I held her I healed my left leg with my mind.

She was half asleep when I asked her where her parents were. She woke up at once and started bawling. I guess I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't really know what to do. I had never really been good with kids. They were too annoying. She wailed that they were dead. I bit my lip. I felt real sorry for her. She had no one that I knew of at least… except for me.

"Did the creatures kill them?" I asked.

She only cried harder. I took that as a yes.

I began to hold her tighter sensing that she liked the pressure. She began to calm. She was almost asleep. I needed to get her out of here.

My POV

She lifted me up and I buried my face into her and cried. Her calm voice telling me it was okay calmed me a bit. I liked the feeling of her. When she asked about my parents I saw the image of me tearing them apart. I cried harder. I couldn't let her know what I did. I couldn't let her know what I was. What was I? If she knew she might not care about me.

I was so tired. I was basically asleep in her arms. My eyes were barely open and my breathing was slow and even.

Raven POV

Her eyes were all squinted up. She was trying hard to stay awake. I rocked her back and forth. The motion instantly lulled her to sleep. I would have taken her home with me right then except I knew I needed to contact the authorities in this area. I knew they might not let me stay with her. I was already growing sort of attached to her. She couldn't have been older than five.

I sighed, and shifted her to one hip and dug out my communicator from my pocket inside my cloak. I flicked it open. The screen was black.

"Wow, that's great… it's dead" I said to myself sarcastically.

I needed to find a phone, but there was a small problem. I had no idea where the heck I was. I was in a forest, surrounded by trees.

"Great. The one day I forget to charge my phone I need it."

I simply stood there, like a complete idiot. I just need to pick a direction and go in it I decided. But what if I just get us even more lost? I'm gonna have to wake her, maybe she knows what direction to go in. I sat her body more up and whispered into her ear.

"Hey, uh, can you wake up, please."

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I hated this feeling.

"Five more minutes" mumbled the girl.

"I'd gladly give you that time, but I have no idea where we are?"

Beastboy POV

"Guy's it's been like three hours, I'm calling her".

"She's probably fine" said Robin," calling her might just bug her".

"I too am much worried" said Starfire, "something terrible may have happened. Oh I do hope she is the okay."

I dialed the number in my phone and pressed call. I waited for her to pick up and of course she didn't, it went straight to voice mail. I flicked my phone shut, "didn't answer. Either phone's turned off, or it's dead."

Starfire gasped "died, the small device died! Oh the poor little thing!"

I starred at Starfire and tried to keep myself from laughing. Robin explained it to her right away.

"Uh, Star… the phone wasn't alive to begin with, Beastboy just means it's simply not charged up. As in there's no power in it."

Starfire sighed in relief, "oh that makes much more sense. Thank-you Robin."

"Sure thing Star" said Robin.

My POV

I felt my body rise up a bit then a voice whispered in my ear. I opened an eye then the other one and starred in confusion. Where was I, and who was holding me. I remembered seconds later what happened. I almost started crying again. I looked up at her. She was watching me. "Do you have any idea where we are?" she asked. I blinked and thought about it, looked around then nodded my head yes. She looked at me with an expression that said, well, are you going to tell me.

"My home is to the right and about a mile away I think" I said.

"Thank you" she said. She lifted her head up and rose in the air. I gave a surprised sound.

"It's okay" she assured.

I snuggled into her deeper and held onto her tighter as well. I didn't know how we were in the air, but I was not going to fall to the ground.

Raven POV

I began flying in the direction of her house. When I rose in the air she became nervous. I assured her it was okay. Her eyes calmed and she began to hold on tighter to my arm. After a few minutes I asked her what her name was and how old she was. She looked at me with a kind of brightness in her eyes and replied that her name was Lilith and that she was four. Four, she was four, why, she was so young. I felt much empathy for her. I kind of knew how she felt, not exactly in this specific situation, but I had gone through numerous things that were, well, unpleasant. Lilith started chattering about different things. I didn't really listen. Too many things were on my mind. She seemed to know I wasn't listening and didn't really care. Talking made it so she think of other things instead of the terrible things that had occurred.

When the house was within seeing distance, Lilith grew quiet and her eyes became somewhat teary. This place had too many bad memories at the moment. This was where it had all started. She didn't want to come back and be reminded. She held onto me even tighter. Her hands were like a tourniquet around my arm. Her small body was tense and her hairs were standing on end.

"Can… we please … not go down there?" asked Lilith.

I stopped with a sigh and looked at her, "I have to use the phone, if it's working and I'd like to take a look at the scene. You don't have to go in if you don't want to, but I have to."

She bit her lip and thought about it then said that she was not leaving me and her grip tightened on me which I didn't even think was possible. My arm was growing numb from the loss of circulation, but I didn't tell her to loosen her grip. If this comforted her then she could hold onto me as tight as she wanted until we were out and away from the house.

She closed her eyes tight as I walked down the hall to her room. I starred. Blood was everywhere, as where claw marks. The kill was gruesome. The two bodies in the room that were her parents I presumed were almost completely torn apart. I'd seen some pretty bad stuff, but this, it was almost too much. I did not cry. I pushed all my emotions away. I had to be strong, if not for myself, for the sake of Lilith.

I walked out of the room and back to the main room where I stood there holding Lilith in a tight grip and breathing in and out slowly. She had started to cry. Her face was buried in my shoulder which was beginning to be soaked with tears. I needed to get her out of here as soon as possible.

My POV

Going back, to that place, where it had all happened, where I became a monster was almost too much. My heart beat fast and loud, and my breathing had quickened and became shallower. I held onto her has hard and tight as I possibly could. I couldn't seem to get close enough to her body. I wanted out, away from here. We went in. I stayed with her. There was no way I could let go. I shut my eyes tight as we turned down the hall to my room, my bloody room. Tears swelled in my eyes.

I could sense her shock, her sadness, anger, and so many more emotions. It only made me feel worse. I had done that, I had killed them. What had happened to me?

When she left the room she held me even tighter. She breathed in and out slowly, trying to keep herself calm. I began to cry harder. There were too many emotions in my head and they weren't just mine. This had never happened before. I had never felt someone else's emotions before.

Raven POV

She cried herself to sleep in my arms. Her body relaxed as sleep took her over. I set her on the couch and put my cloak on top of her. Then I picked up the phone and dialed 911. I had no idea what the address was, but they could figure that out easy enough. I pushed various buttons until I actually got a real person to talk to. I summed up what had happened, well at least the parts they would understand. Help was sent right away. They'd be here in about twenty minutes. I hung the phone up and looked at Lilith. She finally looked relaxed. Her body wasn't tense anymore and there was actually circulation in my arms. She had a tight grip.

I was finally beginning to tire. I needed to meditate and sleep … and call my friends I realized. I'd been gone for a long time. They were probably curious as to where I was and Starfire was probably about ready to send out a search party. I looked at the phone and yawned. I'd call later I needed to sit down and rest for a few moments at least.

Starfire POV

"Friends I am too worried about Raven to sit still. We must find her. Oh where could she be? She's been away for so long. I am beginning to miss her I think", my voice was full of worry and concern.

Robin was trying to calm me, but it was not working. Everyone including him had become somewhat worried as to her whereabouts. We had heard nothing from her. I was beginning to think of the worst. I mustn't think about such things, will only make things worse. We hadn't a clue to where our dark friend had gone. We had looked everywhere she might be and even places she wouldn't be. We had searched the whole city and Titans East had looked in theirs. We came up with nothing. I was growing frustrated. I had never felt this way before. I did not like it.

Beastboy almost seemed as unsettled as me, though he would not show it. I am curious as to why the males here try to bottle up their feelings. Oh I have so much to learn.