The Worst Listener Question
Chapter 1
Austin: Other guy in the trash says, "What would you do if Aysha ate a bagel on your face?
Aysha: Oh, no. I'm sorry about your delicious crumby face, Austin! *dies while playing Mario Maker* Aw, crunch!
Austin: Well, other guy in the trash, I would probably not even worry because back in my cult days, eating bagels over somebody else's face meant that…oh.
Aysha: What? *dies again* Son of a Flubber Nugget!
Austin: Um…
Aysha: What?! What does it mean?!
Austin: Uh, I rather not say. Just don't eat bagels on my face anymore.
Aysha: I didn't even do it actually, though! Well, okay, there was that one time when you were sleeping, but it wasn't even-
Austin: YOU WHAT?!
Aysha: I'm sorry! It was supposed to be a prank! Well actually, it was more like Mickey Mouse was pointing a gun to my ass and made me do it.
Austin: That mousy bastard! He just couldn't deal with the fact that we cancelled Kingdom Hearts!
Aysha: WE?! You cancelled Kingdom Hearts! And I still don't understand! It was just a goddamn bagel! It didn't even have anything on it!
Austin: Aysha, please! Just shut up and get in the car!
Aysha: Fine! Bitch
*Austin and Aysha haul ass to the car*
Aysha: Austin, where the hell are we going?!
Austin: Anywhere but here.
Aysha: Ooh! Can we go to Disney World?!
*They get in the car and Austin goes 0 to 60 in like, 2.65 seconds.*
Austin: Oh, yeah! That's a great idea, Aysha! Because the best way to run away from somebody is to go straight to their fucking house!
Aysha: Well, you don't have to be a dick.
Austin: *sigh* I can't believe you. How could you underestimate the power of bagel crumbs?
Aysha: I didn't even- *sigh* I'm done. I'm done with you. You make no sense.
Austin: *Austin slams the breaks* Aysha, I'm sorry that we got into this mess. But I have something to tell you that I should have told you a long time ago. And by that, I mean about five minutes ago.
Aysha: *gasp* You bought me cake?!
Austin: No, Aysha. The crumbs.
Aysha: Finally!
Austin: Aysha, when you eat bagels on somebody's face, it's no mere prank. It's serious.
Aysha: What kind of serious?
Austin: When you eat a bagel on somebody's face, it means that person is…marked for assassination…