Disclaimer: We don't own anything except the syntax of our words and the verisimilitude of our characters.
A/N: Amy (FollowThisRhythm) wrote Lucy; Ela (never-ending nights with you) wrote Lorcan.
The Blind Pounding of Our Drum
Of mistakes and confusion, first love and broken hearts biding-- two hearts, like drums, pounding to the same beat.- One shot
Lorcan sighed as he leaned against the wall of the corridor. She had promised to meet up with him here five minutes ago. While Lucy was usually (more than fashionably) late, Lorcan didn't want to wait today. Blame it on lack of sleep, if you will.
Lucy walked absently down the corridor, her footsteps echoing in the strangely deserted area, and tried to swallow down her anger, fists curling tightly and uncurling at her side, her heart throbbing like a wound in her chest.
"Luce?" Lorcan called as he heard footsteps. He saw her at the other end of the hall and started walking towards her. "Lucy, are you okay?" he asked tentatively as he got closer and saw the dried tears on her face.
Her gaze met his and she felt something lodge itself in her throat, her stiff arms moving to cross over the other, and her chest heaved once with the force of her suppressed snort. "Yes, of course, I just had perfectly lovely run in with my sister actually is all," she informed him coolly.
"Your sister?" he asked, walking closer and outstretching his arms. Lucy and Molly didn't get along, to say the least, and Lorcan knew two things: one, there was trouble; and, two, Lucy was upset. "What happened?"
Lucy stepped back from his reach, hastily wiping at the chilly tears smeared across her cheeks, and felt her anger constrict into a small, scorching ball inside of her stomach. "Oh, she told me the most fascinating thing, really intriguing, and I almost couldn't believe it."
"What was it?" he asked, hurt when she pulled away. "It can't be that bad."
Lucy gave a short, humorless laugh. "It can be, actually, and you know exactly what I'm talking about."
He bit his lip. "Luce, just tell me." He prayed to Merlin it wasn't what he thought.
"You know damn well what it is Lorcan!" she burst, "and I can't believe that you, you, the person who is supposed to be my best friend, could do this to me!" Lucy yelled. "How could you let me walk around like an oblivious berk when you knew what you did?!"
Lorcan spluttered. "I wanted to tell you! Really! I just couldn't find the right time, when you wouldn't rip my face up. Anywho, he was a jackass. You deserved better."
"Yeah," Lucy spat venomously, wiping furiously at her tears again, "I got that when my sister told me that my boyfriend was snogging other girls! And you knew! You knew and you didn't — Merlin, you are such a boy Lorcan. There is never a right time to tell someone that but it doesn't mean you, you leave the person in the dark!"
He lowered his head guiltily. "I didn't want you to blame me," he said. "That even though I knew about it, I'd be able to do something. I figured punching him in the face wouldn't do you any good. I was going to tell you soon, I swear to Merlin—"
Lucy's breath left her in a whoosh and her head fell into her hands as she tried to even out her breathing. "Blame you?" she repeated, voice much more subdued than before. "Lorcan, why would I blame you? You weren't the one running around behind my back and cheating."
Lorcan's heart lifted a little. "I thought you might think I would've been able to stop it." He stepped closer. He flinched when she took a step back. "I'd never cheat on you behind your back."
Lucy's eyes flew open and shot up to his, her mouth moving slightly but no sound coming out, as she gaped at him. "What—?" she asked breathlessly, trying to decipher and dissect his expression and tone. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked carefully.
He smiled a little. "If-if we were to, you know, date," he stuttered, "I'd be a good boyfriend — no, the best boyfriend."
Lucy felt cold all over and, just as suddenly, a wave of heat crashed over her, making her knees buckle and body unconsciously find the support of the wall behind her. "Lorcan I—"
"Yeah?" he asked, his mouth in his throat, devouring his lip.
"Lorcan," she said again, "are you — oh, you can't be — are you . . . asking me out?
"I am," he said. "Are you . . . accepting?"
Lucy put her head in her hands again, shaking it in an useless attempt to clear it, and attempted to find her voice. "I don't — Lorcan, I don't understand. You mean you — you fancy me? Why? H-how?"
He stuck his hands in his pockets. "I've always liked you. Since we were five and you stole my food. When we were eleven and you practically jumped me when you got your Hogwarts letter. When we were fifteen and you came to me in the middle of the night, complaining of nightmares. Now, when you're looking at me like I'm crazy."
Lucy felt her eyes fill again, her throat clench painfully, and she took in a shuddering breath. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Why — why did you let so much time pass by? Did you — didn't you ever want to" — she swallowed thickly — "to, to tell me?"
"Every day," he whispered. "Every time you said my name. I didn't tell you because . . . because I know I'm not good enough for you and I'm sorry. I wish" — he looked down — "I wish you would say yes."
Lucy didn't know what she was doing but suddenly she was striding over to him and gripping his forearms, staring up into his face beseechingly as her tears fell again, glittering on her bottom eyelashes and running down the paths the previous drops had marked before. "Don't say that Lorcan! You've never done anything to even give yourself the benefit of a doubt when it comes to your worth — you are my best friend! You, you've always been there! How — Merlin, how can you even think that for a moment?!" she cried.
His hands moved to cup the sides of her face as he said, "I'm not smart enough! You're Head Girl and my best friend and always yapping about how smart the Head Boy is. I don't have anything — I won't be able to take care of you properly. You're too beautiful and brilliant and sort of bossy and amazing and I'm just . . . me. Just Lorcan Scamander."
"Lorcan," she said softly, voice rough with emotion, "I never meant to make you feel inadequate or like someone less than you are because you, Merlin, you're incredible. You are . . . something brilliant in your own quiet, hesitant way and I've never wanted that to change!" She fisted her hands in the front of his robes and brought him closer. "And Lorcan Scamander may just be two words," she murmured fiercely, a soft smile of not so secretive secrets sparkling in her eyes, "but there are a hundred defining words behind them."
"Lucy," he whispered back, heart thumping, brain whirling. "Does . . . does that mean you'll be my girlfriend?"
Lucy, although part of her felt as if she were moving too fast — she hadn't even officially broken up with her boyfriend yet — couldn't keep herself from curling her fingers into his hair and pulling his head down, pressing her mouth to his.
Lorcan kissed her back breathlessly, hands on her face, her waist, in her hair —
"LUCY?!"
The trembling sigh, the little tempest of words unsaid and requited emotions, that had been building inside of her, about to fall from her lips, was sucked away at the sudden shout and she jumped, untangling herself from Lorcan and whirling around. "What — what are you doing here?"
"I was about to ask you that," her ex-boyfriend said unkindly. He looked at Lorcan, his eyes narrowed as uncharacteristic jealousy bubbled in his chest. "I thought you were my girlfriend. Not his."
Lucy scoffed, suddenly not feeling very self conscious of her flushed face, tangled hair and swollen lips in front of the slimy bloke she had given her time and affection to for the past five months. "I can't believe that you have the nerve to even look at me!"
"What are you talking about?" he demanded icily, inside, he understood, really — she was right, of course, but he'd never tell her that. "You're standing there looking like that! You were just about to jump Scamander."
"Looking like what?" she spat, glaring. "Oh, and if I were to jump Scamander it wouldn't be in a corridor," she said.
"Looking like you just got snogged," he sneered. She didn't actually look like she had — but he thought guilt might help her confess. "Sure."
"Because I did just get snogged you git! I would think that you of all people would be familiar with the act!"
"Lucy," Lorcan said, intervening. "Just break up with him. Don't. Keep your pride."
Lorcan's voice, so soft, so gentle, so perfectly him, made something inside of her break and she pressed her quivering lips together, working up to speech. "I'm fairly sure that my feelings in regards to our relationship are evident enough," she said quietly, eyes averted, before turning on her heel and walking away, ignoring the footsteps behind her.
Lorcan hurried after her quickly, forgetting about Lucy's now-ex. "Luce!"
"Lorcan, what — I can't even," she stammered, voice harsh, trying to gain her senses.
"What do you mean?" he asked, hurt.
"I just — Merlin, I'm as bad as he is!"
"No, you're not!" He tried to gather his thoughts. "You're you and I'm me and I love you."
Lucy turned in astonishment, his reply enough to slow her feet to a stop, and stared at him.
"I love you," he repeated, stepping closer. "And you don't have to say it back yet, but I do and I just want to be with you. I'm a sap, I know."
Lucy felt weak and confused and sad — about her sister and her ex and the situation they had put her in — but she realized Lorcan's presence only made her feel better. She swallowed, eyeing him carefully, and when she spoke her voice was slow and quiet. "I can't . . . say it back yet," she said, needing to make sure that he understood her position so he could truly decide whether he was willing to wait or not.
"It's okay," he said, just with a touch of heartbreak in his eyes, brushing her hair back. "That doesn't matter to me, really."
"You should know that I fancied, that I do fancy, you a lot. Didn't you ever wonder why I went out with him even after I knew of all the rumours going around about him?"
"I did wonder, and I still don't know why you went out with him," he said, intertwining their fingers.
"Because you never gave any indication that you felt the same and I was tired of pinning away after someone who wouldn't and didn't and couldn't feel what I was," Lucy admitted, staring down at the sun kissed skin of his hand against her pale, freckled one. "I didn't, well, I didn't want to make you jealous, although I was curious about your reaction all the same, but I just wanted to see if it was possible for me to be happy with someone else."
"Are you . . . were you happy?" he asked her, really wanting to know the answer.
She lifted her gaze gradually and there was a sad sort of glow emanating from under her strawberries and cream skin, floating lazily on her words. "Only when I pretended he was you."
Lorcan grinned — a real smile that lit up his face. He didn't have words, really. "I was always jealous," he managed, pulling her closer to him, burying his nose in her hair.
Lucy curled her fingers into his shirt again, as she had done earlier, and pressed her face into the heat of his neck. "Either you hid it very well or I was blind as a bat to it then," she whispered into his skin, her lips curved into a tiny smile.
"Blind," he said back. "You need glasses, m'dear."
Lucy, for the first time that night, laughed, the sound bubbling and spilling out of her mouth as her body shook against his. His comment hadn't been very funny but the relief from the tension in her head and limbs was just too addictive.
He laughed too and smiled at her sudden giggle. "Want to . . . go to the Kitchens?"
Lucy felt herself blush. "Are you asking me out on a date?" she asked shyly, pulling back to stare up at him through her eyelashes.
"Maybe I am," he smiled.
"Lorcan, I think I might like that very much," she said softly, smoothing his tie even though she didn't need to.
He grinned like the fool in love he was and said, "Last one there's a rotten bludger."
Lucy jumped as he pulled away and began to walk backwards. "But," she stammered and her colour deepened, "what about our snog that was oh so rudely interrupted?"
Lorcan grinned evilly. "Just seeing if you wanted it, luvvy," he said, before leaning down and smashing his lips to hers.
Lucy pulled him closer, feeling the cool stone against her back, the heat of his body pressed against, caressing, her own. His mouth was kissing hers with a gentle, yielding reverence that made her heart ache and she couldn't keep herself from wondering how she had ever denied herself of him. She moved her hand from his shoulders, splaying her fingers over his chest, so she could feel the way his heart was throbbing, pounding, shivering under her touch— just like her own.
Two hearts, like drums, pounding to the same beat.