Straight people had always bothered Sebastian for several reasons, all though none of them were of any value to cause more than a mild irritation occasionally. Actually, humans in general had always bothered Sebastian, and most humans were straight. Maybe that was the reason. Straight people tended to either go out of their way to insult him for being gay, or assure him that they were not insulting him for being gay. And for some reason, most straight boys felt this odd need to convince him that they were straight. As though he would try to pounce on them if they didn't tell him that they were straight. His roommate, Hunter, was one of those annoying personalities who insisted on forcing the fact that he was straight in every possible conversation ('My name is Hunter Clarington and I'm not even remotely bi-curious' 'Pass me the sausages, won't you? Not that I like dicks or anything.' 'Chris Evans looked good in that movie – but of course, my eyes were just on Scarlet Johansen.'). If it weren't so fucking annoying, it would have been somewhat endearing.
That was why Sebastian couldn't understand why Hunter had problems looking away from his boyfriend when he finally visited from New York.
"Hunt, get the fuck out of here. Kurt and I are having marathon sex," he casually said when he walked in with a slightly flustered Kurt in tow who had barely even heard about this new roommate. "Bas.." Kurt started, trying to find a way to make Sebastian's words sound subtler, but it was pretty much a lost cause. "I'm sorry.. Uhm, Hunter, right?" he asked with a soft smile that made Sebastian's heart want to jump out of chest. Somehow the smile was even more attractive in real life than over Skype.
"Yes, Hunter Clarington. I'm Sebastian's new roommate and the leader of the Warblers." Hunter reached out a hand for Kurt to take and Sebastian was just waiting for the 'and I'm not even remotely bi-curious' line that he had heard countless times before, but it never came. He tried to send Hunter a look that screamed for him to get out, but Hunter's eyes were fixed on someone else instead. Or rather, something else. Kurt's ass to be specific.
Sebastian would be the first person to acknowledge the wonder that was Kurt's ass, but Hunter – self-proclaimed heterosexual Hunter – looking at his boyfriend with curiosity, admiration and something that resembled lust, annoyed him. Kurt looked blissfully oblivious to it and sat down on the edge of Sebastian's bed, his legs dangling in front of him as he looked at the two boys expectantly. "I need a word with my dear roommate. I'll be right back," Sebastian said and before Kurt could critise him for the tacky use of the phrase, Sebastian pulled Hunter by the arm and escorted him out of the room.
"Not even remotely bi-curious, Hunter? Not gay, huh?" Even though Sebastian was annoyed at Hunter for checking out his boyfriend, he couldn't help but let the curiosity in his voice seep through.
"Kurt has a lovely ass," Hunter said simply, as though it explained everything. The only thing was that, in Sebastian mind, it really did explain everything. Kurt's ass was the solution to every problem, every world crisis and every war out there. If he believed in god, he would have entertained the idea of building Kurt's ass a shrine.
"He does.. Doesn't he?" Sebastian smirked and snaked his arm around Hunter's waist, an action that earned him a confused glare from his roommate. "You know what, Hunter..? Kurt and I were just talking about the possibility of a threesome…"