Hey all! This was written for lowi's Title Challenge (yeah, I entered again). This sorta all spilled out in physics today, and I rather like it. So I hope you do too. Please take the time to review!
Disclaimer: I don't own HP and co.
Today is Halloween – a time where children dress up in costumes and go around to nearby houses, asking for candy. It's a time when parents and children sit down and carve out giant pumpkins, and bake pies with all the remains. The air is cool, the leaves are turning brilliant shades of reds and oranges and yellows, and a certain population of people, dressed in some of the strangest clothes, are celebrating.
It's been seven years since Lily and James were killed. Seven years since little baby Harry defeated the darkest wizard of the century. Most of the mourning that occurred in the first few years is gone now. People these days choose to remember their sacrifice instead. They choose to celebrate James and Lily's death and thank them for all they had to give up.
For the eighth year in a row, I find myself looking in on the celebrations from the outside. I'm certainly happy that You-Know-Who's gone. But I feel like it isn't fair to everyone else that lost so much that night for me to celebrate that loss by drinking and partying and having a merry time with my friends. It just doesn't seem right.
Peter lost his life. I feel bad for him, in a way. In school, it was obvious to anyone with any sense that Peter was no hero. He followed James around like a lost puppy. He was clumsy, and awkward, and quite timid. I sometimes wonder why he tried to corner Black the way he did. He should have known that the confrontation wouldn't end well.
Sirius lost more than his life. Sirius lost his heart. But as far as I'm concerned, the traitor must have lost it far before that fateful night. How could he betray James? I always thought the two of them were the best of friends – more like brothers than anything else. James was there for Sirius when the boy ran away from home. James' parents took him in, and gave him a home and a family when he had none. And Sirius sold James and Lily over to You-Know-Who. Just like that.
I saw Sirius' photo in the Daily Prophet the day he was dragged off to Azkaban. He looked like a madman. He lost his mind, his heart. And part of me aches for him, for the future he could have had. I don't understand how everything went so wrong. How could no one have seen the signs? Were there even any signs to see?
Lily and James lost their lives. Little Harry lost his parents. Peter lost his life. Sirius lost his mind, and possibly his soul along with it.
But Remus, Remus lost his entire world.
I don't remember much about Remus in his earlier years at Hogwarts. He was a shy boy, quite sickly really. But James took him in, just like the awkward Peter and the blood-traitor Sirius. The four of them were the best of friends, pranksters extraordinaire – well liked, popular.
I think Remus had trouble trusting people. He was very polite to almost everyone he met, so long as they were polite to him, but he never seemed to seek out any other friends besides those three boys. It almost seemed like he didn't like being around others too much. He was somewhat shy, and sensitive, but overall a very sweet boy.
My heart aches for him the most.
First, Lily and James died. And little Harry was left with his muggle aunt and uncle. Remus was distraught that the pair had died, he and James were very close, and he had gotten closer with Lily when she finally became part of their group. He was sure to miss them, probably every day for the rest of his life. And Peter's death was sure to hurt as well, though not as much.
But it was Sirius' betrayal that wounded him the most. To have placed that kind of trust in his group of friends, to have grown up together, laughed together, cried together, and then to have it all gone, because one of them had been working for the very creature they all had been fighting against so hard. It was horrible. Unthinkable.
But Remus' pain didn't stop there. Not only did he lose his three best friends, but he lost more. Mary was killed by Death Eaters a few weeks later. Emmeline took off for America, and hasn't been seen since. And poor Frank and Alice were tortured to insanity. Remus' parents went missing that winter. They were found months later – died in a car accident on the way back from vacation. Remus had nothing. No place to live, little money, no job, and no family or friends to help him along the way.
Remus Lupin was all alone. He had lost everything.
"Do not pity the dead, pity the living."
That saying has never been more true. While Lily, James, Peter, and Mary may have been doomed to an early death, they've all moved on to the next great adventure. They can no longer feel the pain this world contains. And Sirius, Frank and Alice are too far gone to know that same pain.
But Remus?
He doesn't have that luxury. He's all alone, in a world that has forgotten about him. In a world that doesn't care what he's been through – or what he's lost. Each and every day he has to struggle to find a reason to get out of bed. A reason to keep on living.
Yes, the rest of them may have been doomed to death.
Remus was doomed to life.
A/N: So I've always wanted to know what it was like for Remus between the two wars. He really didn't have anyone, and on top of that, hehad to cope with being a werewolf. His life must have sucked royal hippogriff. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to commit suicide at some point - or at least contemplated it. This is just me writing down some thoughts about Remus during this time through the eyes of an anonymous character. This person really has no name or gender even. Just an average ex-Hogwarts student observing things around him/her. Enjoy!