OH! I haven't talked about Big Time Secrets yet. FAIL! Cause it's important.
I'mma be straight with ya'll. Kendall? Before this episode, if he left BTR, I would probably be more concerned about how depressed MY BABIES would be rather than him actually being gone. I'M BEING STRAIGHT UP! I mean, I always loved him, but he was never like... I don't know.
But lemme give you the lay down. Green? Ever since my cartoon watching days (which is actually still happening) I've had a slight fetish for the color green. I mean, all my favorite people. Beast Boy, Ben 10, Danny Phantom... all green users/lovers. Blondes have always been a fave of mine, they look like sun gods. That's where it's at... so that's basically all that was keeping K-dawg hanging on.
But then the figure skating thing? Even if he stinks at it, I'M NOW OFFICIALLY IN LOVE WITH KENDALL! I think figure skating is actually pretty much the hottest thing ever. Like... I LOVE figure skating. I'm not great at it (no time. Parents think boxing and school should be my only things) but I mean... I can jump and spin at the same time, so take of that what you will. BUT OH MY GOSH! YES! WIN! I was so happy. FINALLY! KENDALL IS AWESOME AND POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE CURRENTLY!
James put on that stupid smile of his as he picked up the newest of the new girls, and once again that little feeling Carlos had been trying to push back since they'd met fluttered in his heart. It was something that had been berating him from the days of peewee hockey, and it was growing stronger as the years went on.
It was a sort of hard feeling to place, a bit sadder than jealousy but angrier than, well, sadness, but Carlos still hated feeling it regardless. Him and James were supposed to be best friends, and best friends weren't supposed to feel like... this about each other. They were supposed to be happy for each other no matter what.
But Carlos had really liked the new girl. Her name was Nancy, and he bet James didn't even know it yet. Carlos had also really liked the Jennifers, but James seemed to nab one of them in a minute tops. And then re-nab the same one after being told to dump him, only so he could dump her. And it had taken him elaborate planning and help from Katie and Buddha Bob to get a Jennifer once.
Carlos also really liked Heather. It's not like James stole her from him, but... yeah. He kind of did. Without even trying. And Carlos didn't blame him for that, but it was hard not to be miffed because... because...
Carlos was sick of James always getting the meatball sub. And when he didn't get the meatball sub? Then he made sure that neither of them got it. AKA: Lucy. It was like James couldn't even let him have just one. Sure, there were those nice two girls from the magazine contest, but they had to fly back home after their day together. Is that what Carlos's dating life was going to measure up to while under James's spotlight?
And not only that, but why was every song a James song? Why did he seem to always manage to get more verses than he did? Carlos knew he wasn't the best singer, but... why did it have to be James?
When they had to do the reality show, James always managed to punch him in the face right in front of the camera. Funny how they would pan out after Carlos slammed into him. Honestly, it hadn't been that hard to act mad at James that day... it scared him to think about how great it felt to deck him in the face and tackle him to the ground.
And why did James have to be "The Face"? Personally, Carlos thought James looked a bit too girly. Someone handsome and Latino could do just as great a job as "The Face" as James could. It didn't always have to be the "James Show". He was sick of title sequences filled with the words "James Diamond". Was it so much for one little "Carlos Garcia" to be thrown in the mix?
Cause Carlos would like to have a girlfriend. Carlos wanted to sing the majority of a song. Carlos could be happy as the handsome one of Big Time Rush. He'd appreciate just some credit, just once for something, anything-
"Hey, Carlos, you good?" Logan asked, interrupting his thoughts, and Carlos's bottom lip quivered. Tears sprocketed into his eyes, catching Logan way off guard. "Woah, alright, let's head up 2J, okay?" he asked, grabbing him by the shoulders and bringing him into an elevator. In the blink of an eye, Carlos found himself in the crib, too focused on his own thoughts to realize they had moved from the lobby.
Carlos clutched onto Logan's waist, dampening his t-shirt and letting go of something that had been gripping him since elementary school. "Why can't it be me?" he sobbed, and Logan just sat there, rubbing his back with his nose pressed in his hair.
"You can be it for me," he tried, somehow knowing exactly what he was talking about despite his lack of knowledge about the circumstances. Logan was a good friend like that. Carlos just shook a bit harder in his arms, wondering why James couldn't ever try to make him feel better like this instead of causing the pain in the first place.
It was hard under James's spotlight.
Um... I was listening to "Spotlight" by Glee, and I wrote this in, like, a half hour, so... yup. Hope you don't hate it. Also, I love that song. So yay!