Prologue – Charlie Swan
Our life seemed brighter with her coming. After seven years of marriage, God finally answered us.
She was so beautiful. God's little secret creature. She took my breath away the first time I saw her in the hospital.
My little princess.
I remember taking her from the doctor's hands. She was full of blood. Beautiful blood. I wanted to cry when I saw her. Is this really my daughter? Is she really this beautiful?
Our little angel.
I brought her closer to my wife. She was full of sweats after her hard work.
"She is so you," I whispered.
She looked at little angel through her watery eyes. She smiled sadly before leaning closer to kiss her. She let one tear slipped down her eye.
"I love you both," she spoke softly.
I cut the distance between the three of us and wrap around.
"I love you too, with my whole life," I kissed her forehead.
I smile at the memories. The beautiful memories. It's been a week after little angel's birth.
My goodness, she's getting prettier everyday.
I just can't get enough with the thoughts of this little creature that comes to my life. I barely see her awake, cause she spends most time of the day sleeping. When I leave for work, I would kiss her and she is asleep and when I back late from work, she is asleep too. So, today I'm gonna be home early, hoping I would see her awake. It's six in the evening and I feel like I just want to be home with my two beautiful girls already.
But of course, I can't.
There's always shit that happens in this town every fucking day.
"How can I help you, sir?" I ask as Seth gives me the details of the problem. In front of me is a big blonde guy with a cap.
I look at the papers details of his problem.
Stolen car.
I clear my throat and look up at him. "Well, Mr. Phillip Dwyer, we will do our best to find the theft. I will send some of the officer to visit the place and do some research. For now, you can give all the information you know to my assistant here, Seth, and if you have any other problem just tell, Bill, the big guy right there," I stand up from my seat. "I've had a long day today, I'm going home now," I extend my hand as he stands up to shake it. "I'm sorry for the incident, Mr. Dwyer."
"Just Phil," he speaks out.
"Alright, Phil, I gotta go now," I want to let off my hand from his grip but he doesn't let go. Instead, he comes closer and speaks to my ear.
"How is your little girl doing? Does she look like you, Charlie? Does she have the same eyes as his dad?" he says bitterly with a smirk.
I can't move. I'm stuck in my position. He stands back to his normal position and look up at me. I see his blue eyes from under his cap.
"What do you mean?" I blurt out to him.
"What do you think?" he says sarcastically.
The blood in my body boils up. I feel my head is about to explode.
What the fuck does he mean? What the fuck was that for?
I put my hands on either side of me and stay silent. Thinking of the possible reasons of his words. My mind goes circles, avoiding the only shit I don't want to believe. But it stuck with one statement.
It can't be.
I'm not really a punch or body contact kind of guy but right now, I really want to flies my hand on this guy's face, hard and bone-breakable. My knuckles are probably white because of my clenched fists.
Calm, relax, or you'll lose your job.
With my unfinished anger, I leave the place and drive as fast as I can. Soon, I already pull over at my house. I take a deep breath and try to calm down.
She is mine, she is mine.
I keep replaying those words in my mind as I get out off the cruise. I walk slowly to the porch, not even trusting my steps. I'm scared. Terrified.
What if... What if?
Before I can process anything, Renee opens the door with a worry look. I stare at her convincingly, without a word. After some moment, she finally gets my stare and water starts to fill her eyes. The silent breaks with baby's cries.
"Where is she?" I run in pass her. I want to see my princess. I want to see little angel.
I open the door where the sound comes from. She is in her crib, crying. Her hands punching, her legs kicking. I walk in, step by step. My heart beats faster within each step. I stand by her crib, seeing her from my height. She is so small, so fragile. If I touch her, I could break her.
"Sshhh, Bella, it's okay, I'm here," I say quietly to her as I touch her sweaty cheek with my fingers.
She seems to get calmer by my touch. I smile at the angel under me. I know she will be a beauty when she grew up. And then suddenly her cries stops and she opens her eyes.
My fingers stop. The blood in my veins speed up. I move my hand away quickly. My brain doesn't work. My chest hurts. My body feels numb.
"No… no.. no no no please," I fall, I'm not standing anymore. My clothes feel tighter. My body trembles. Head down, hands on sides, knees on the floor. The world feels cold. The room doesn't feel right.
"NOOOO!" I cry out. "WHY, GOD, WHY!" I scream and cover my face with my palms. My voice fills out the whole room and makes her cry again. But this time, I don't care. Because all I can see in my black sight is the same familiar eyes. The eyes that have no right to be in her. The eyes that colored as clean as the sea. The eyes that I know will haunt me for the rest of my life.
The blue eyes.
I hear a loud sob behind me. My hurt suddenly turns out to be anger. I stand up and go to where she stands.
"You bitch," I speak out in front of her face. "Why did you do this to me? Why didn't you tell me? After all these years you spent with me, how could you? I can't believe you, piece of shit!" I punch the wall behind her and let the blood covers my hand.
Renee cries harder, Bella too. And I don't know what to do.
"I'm so sorry, Charlie, I love you." she says through her tears.
"No, you don't," Bella keeps crying on her crib, louder each second. "Just take care of her," I lift my hand from the wall and leave.
I couldn't feel anything. I'm so numb.