No Guilt
Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight
Summary- Never the less she never missed them. Sam would tell her that he loved her yet part of her heart ache as she remembers that she wasn't wasn't the only one he loved.
Some Slash. Emily/Sam and Sam/Jacob
Emily knew from the beginning. It hurt her, yes and it made her feel guilty. Emily walked over to the closet and gently pulled her clothes from the hangers. She folded up the clothes and slowly placed them into the suitcase. She walked out of the bedroom she shared with Sam and into the bathroom, she grabbed her hair supplies, her make-up and everything else that belonged to her. Sniffling Emily walked down the hall back into the cozy bedroom, she walked over to the bed where her suitcases laid. She walked over to the dresser picking up her perfumes and her jewellery, placing them into the smaller suitcase Emily glanced around the room trying to decide what else see needed. Wiping the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks she smiled sadly. Giving the room a second glance Emily grabbed the suitcases off the bed and dragged them out of the room and down the stairs.
Emily was not a stupid girl and she never appreciated when someone treated her like she was one. She had know from the beginning. She was very aware of the fact that Sam had imprinted on her and that he loved her, she in return loved him with all her heart. But suddenly things started to change, it was only small little things in the beginning, shy smiles, glances during meals, brushing hands, sly glances. Never the less she never missed them. Sam would tell her that he loved her yet part of her heart ache as she remembers that she wasn't the only one he loved.
FLASHBACK.
Emily smiled to the song on the radio, it was full of so much happiness it could make anyone smile. She drove along the road heading back to the home she shared with Sam, she had spent the whole day out shopping for some much need groceries. She looked over to the cliff where she could sometimes see some of the pack members cliff diving, instead of seeing them she saw to big wolves up there. Glancing behind her to make sure no cars were coming Emily pulled over to the side watching the cliff to see what the wolves were doing. She could see Sam's black coat shinning in the fading afternoon sun, and she could only see the slight rusty colour of the small wolf. Emily watched as the bigger wolf nuzzled the smaller wolfs neck. It seemed like such an innocent gesture. She watched them, Sam eventually laid down and Jacob hesitantly cuddle up to the bigger wolf.
END OF FLASHBACK
Emily remember the moment it had happened, it was still so clear in her head. Out of all the emotions that she should of experienced confusion, hate, anger, jealousy, hurt and denial, the one emotion she did feel surprised her, she felt content. When Sam had come home later that night bringing the rest of the pack with him, she allowed him to kiss her and hug her and hold her. The rest of the pack made grossed out mocking noises all except Jacob sat silently staring at the table. Emily served them all spaghetti, and when she placed Jacob's plate in front of him their eyes connected she smiled a happy smile at Jacob to make him feel less guilty.
From that moment on Emily watched the way the Sam acted towards Jacob and vice versa. Its hurt her to see the way the two acted. The way Jacob was so reluctant to even talk to Sam in front of her and how he would try to stay as far as possible away from Sam.
FLASHBACK
Emily stood in front of her Uncles book shelves that decorated the walls of his study, the shelves were full of books on Imprinting and Werewolves in general.
"What exactly are you looking for Em?" Harry Clearwater asked his niece as she started reading the titles of some of the books.
"Just curious Uncle Harry." Harry nodded and left his niece in his study, Emily searched the shelves until she found one of Imprinting.
"...Double Imprinting is a very rare occurrence. The only time a wolf can Imprint on another wolf who has already Imprinted is if the Imprintee is seriously ill and incapable of breeding children or if neither the wolf or the Imprint are happy..." Emily read the words aloud from one of the ancient books, the words seemed to be jumbled around in her head.
END OF FLASHBACK
Emily had only weeks ago visited the doctor. She had been sick all that morning, the doctor asked her question which she answered. The doctor frowned over her answers, finally declaring that he wanted to do a blood test just as a precaution. Three days later the doctor called and asked her to come in so they could talk about the results.
FLASHBACK
"Miss. Young, thank you for coming into see me. We have your test results back."
"And?" Emily asked the Doctor as she fiddled with the hem of her jacket
"Miss. Young you have leukemia." Emily let out a small breath. "The first thing I would like to do is run some tests tonight, then on Monday we'll start chemotherapy. We'll do that for two weeks, then give your body a chance to rest. I'd like you to stay in the hospital during the first round of chemo so we can see how you react to it."
"No. No I don't wan chemotherapy."
"Miss. Young I would like to suggest that that's not a very smart idea. The chemotherapy could save your life."
"Doctor, I would like to experience my life by living it for what it's worth. Leukemia has a survival rate of 5 percent and I'm okay with that, I wish to live whatever I have left of my life outside the walls of a hospital."
"Miss. Young –"
"Goodbye doctor." Emily cut the man off and left his office.
END OF FLASHBACK
Emily never told Sam that she had ever been at the doctors. One week later one night she sat with the pack as they watched some movie that Jared had chosen. She watched from one of the couches as Jacob and Sam sat next to each other their arms slightly brushing. Emily tried to smile at the dopey grin on Jacob's face. Sam's radiated with a happiness that only Jacob could bring. After everyone had left Emily and Sam climb into their bed, sharing a kiss, the two fell into their respective places. Sam fell asleep instantly and Emily stayed awake. She wondered if she would be able to pack up and leave Sam. Finally she fell into a restless sleep.
So here she was packing up her stuff while Sam and the pack where out doing pack stuff. Emily grabbed a piece of paper out of the old desk drawer and a pen. Sitting down at the kitchen table Emily picked up the pen she gracefully wrote at the top of the paper
'Dear Sam
I love you. Please remember that. I've known for a while now, and I'm not angry nor am I hurt. Please don't be afraid to be with Jacob and be yourself. This letter is so hard to write because I don't want you to feel guilty.
I've been reading some of Harry's books on Imprinting, I read that it is possible for two Imprint to accrue the man reason is if the Imprintee is ill, than another Imprint can accrue. Sam I have Leukemia. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a hospital, I wish to live my life. Sam I've seen the way you and Jacob act together you guys are so in love with each other and I have no intention to stop that. Please don't feel guilty about hurting me, because I'm not hurt, and I don't hate you. I'm leaving because I wish to spend whatever I have left of my life living it on a beach in the warm sun. I don't wish to be in pain nor do I wish for you or Jacob to be anymore pain than you have been lately.
Sam please remember when you read all this that I do love you and I know you love me. You've made me so happy, please don't feel guilty for any of this there nothing you could have done to stop it. Let the pack help you, let Jacob heal you and allow them to be there for you. I don't wish to cause you pain but I wish for you to be happy.
Forever I will love you with my heart, I'll watch over you and the pack.
Live your Life, Live Laugh and Love.
Forever in your heart
Emily.'
Emily ignore the tears that ran down her cheeks, she put the pen back with a shaky hand and left the note on the table. She pushed the chair back under the table, slipping on a pair of shoes she grabbed her suitcases, she glanced at the small house once more before leaving out the front door.
I hope you enjoyed. The next chapter is more about Sam.