Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls

I took part in a Secret Santa for Gilmore Girls and this fic was the result. I took some notes from DSLeo and dived into a world of absurdity with this particular fic. Hopefully you enjoy and maybe I can write some more absurd fics in the future. Let me know that you think!

Set sort of in present day Stars Hollow, at least several years after the finale.

Kirk had a plan.

A plan and a video camera.

Having been over ten years since his creative endeavors culminated into what he liked to call a ground-breaking short film that was shown more than once at Movie Night in the Square – which everyone knew was one the biggest town events of the year – Kirk was itching to dive into the world of film again. After the success of his first short film – the success of it being talked about for a few days after the festival, which he counted as a win seeing as there was other juicy gossip around town at that time – his creative juices were tapped out. However a recent Facts of Life marathon, all directed by the man that he knew he was in his soul, Asaad Kelada, sparked the creative juices and got them flowing once again. He was ready to dive back into the world of film.

Sure some of the comments from his first publicly viewed short film were negative and some people didn't understand the creative direction he was taking, but he wasn't going to let that stop him from following his one true passion – well one true passion among many. All of the greats were criticized and many were misunderstood, at least that's what he told himself. He was going to persevere and once again create a film that would be hopefully well received by the citizens of Stars Hollow. With his wife Lulu by his side encouraging and believing in him, he knew that nothing could go wrong.

Okay so maybe he didn't exactly have a plan beyond that of making a well-loved film that would once again be shown at Movie Night in the Square, hopefully more than once, but he wasn't worried. He once read somewhere that even the greatest directors didn't always have a crystal clear vision in mind before they dived into a new project. Or maybe he just dreamed that one night. Either way a lack of a crystal clear and well-executed plan was not going to stop him from jumping headfirst into his latest project.

He just had to find a muse.

Kirk's need to find a muse for his latest film led him to having his camera on and rolling for all the hours that he was awake to capture the daily goings-on in Stars Hollow. He was sure that somewhere, hidden deep in the footage, he would find his muse. He thought Lulu would be his muse but while he loved her, and he did love her, there was just something inside of him saying that she couldn't be his muse and he had to find something else. At first Lulu was hurt and didn't speak to him but she eventually came around when he explained the difficult process of being a director and the fact that he didn't get to pick his muse because his muse picked him.

Kirk currently sat in the diner, his lunch finished and camera rolling, as he filmed the various patrons and workers to see if anything jumped out on the screen at him. Some of the residents complained about the filming but after a few days most pushed it to the side as just another 'Kirk' thing that would eventually fizzle out before he moved onto something else. There were a few exceptions though, one being the very owner of the diner in which he sat in. Though the first time Luke yelled at him about filming in the diner, Lorelai was there to talk him out of kicking him out of the diner claiming that at the moment Kirk was catching her good side and she just couldn't let that opportunity go to waste.

At that very moment the man in question suddenly appeared on the camera screen, his finger pointed in Kirk's direction and the ever-so-present scowl on his face seemed even more grumpy on screen, if that were even possible.

"Kirk, what I have told you about filming in the diner?"

With that line, that voice, that raw anger that made it seem as if Luke hated his guts, it was as if heavens opened up and beamed down on ray of golden light on the man in front of the camera. Kirk could have sworn that behind Luke a choir of angels drifted down and began to sing in a way that only indicated one thing; he had found his muse. He never expected his muse to have a love of flannel so deep that he wore it practically everyday or to have a backwards baseball cap permanently attached to his head. But who was he to question the ways of his muse? He knew that he couldn't choose his own muse and his muse had to choose him, he just never expected to be this way.

With Luke threatening to kick him out if he didn't put the 'damn camera away before he put it away for him,' ideas began to flood his brain. Flashes of light raced through his brain, each one more detailed than the last, all composed of plans for his next film that he needed to get down onto a piece of paper before he forgot about them. Thrilled with the realization that he now had a muse and plan, Kirk suddenly popped up from his stool at the counter and tucked the camera to his side so he could embrace Luke.

"You're my muse!" Kirk exclaimed, a giddy grin etched onto his face. He pulled back from Luke, still smiling. "My muse!"

Before Luke, who stood shell-shocked that Kirk just hugged him, could react, Kirk exclaimed that he had to tell Lulu the news before he literally ran out the diner and down the sidewalk all the while screaming about how Luke Danes was his muse.

Back inside the diner, Luke finally gain the ability to speak again and turned around to face Lorelai who sat at the counter with her hand over her mouth clearly trying not to laugh over what just played out in the diner.

"What the hell was that?" Luke demanded, the rag in his hand taking the brunt of his anger as he slapped it down onto the counter.

"Oh honey," Lorelai cooed as she regained her composure. "You're Kirk's muse."

Luke, not amused by his wife's delight in the situation, braced his arms on the counter, "And again I ask, what the hell was that?"

"I thought we gave up on trying to figure Kirk out a long time ago," Lorelai replied. She curled her hands around her coffee cup and titled it slightly towards Luke, her sign of wanting more coffee. "We decided to just let Kirk be Kirk because it was simpler for everyone involved."

Luke let out a breath he had been holding then fulfilled Lorelai's request for coffee. "I know, I know, just….I'm his muse?" he questioned, the disbelief not lost in voice. "What is...I don't….I'm just confused."

"Isn't everyone a little confused when it comes to Kirk?" Lorelai retorted. "I'm pretty sure even Kirk is a little confused by Kirk. At least he found Lulu, she's been great for him. She understands him to some degree."

"His muse," Luke pondered. He looked at Lorelai who looked expectantly at him. "Should I be concerned?"

Lorelai thought for a moment then gave a shrug of her shoulders, "I can't tell ya babe. Kirk can get up to some pretty weird things at times. Should you be concerned for your health? No. But I would be careful about this, don't do things you don't want on camera."

When Luke remained silent, Lorelai reached across the counter and placed her hand on top of his. "Look at this way, you've already chased Kirk through town naked, rescued him from a tree more than once, begrudgingly served as best man in his wedding, and even let him help out in the diner for a few days while we went away, so really how weird could being his muse be?"

"Have I told you how helpful you are," Luke replied sarcastically.

Lorelai smiled at him over the rim of her coffee cup, "Well that is why you married me."

Following in the footsteps of his first and at this point only short film, after telling Lulu of the news that he found his muse, Kirk locked himself in his room in order to have no interruptions for his creative process. The only interruptions that were allowed were by Lulu and they were used for mainly food and drink breaks. Lulu of course watched after him and made sure that he got plenty of sleep because no one liked a cranky director and/or actor, of which he still hadn't decided if he was going to captain both roles.

Storyboards were drawn up, thanks to online research of how to draw up a storyboard, several plans were made and then ditched, and phone calls were made to a few certain people in order to latch down on the idea that he finally settled on. Within just a few days of discovering his muse and eventually coming up with a plan, Kirk found that it was finally time to start filming.

"Today's the big day?" Lulu asked as she watched Kirk make sure all his film equipment was packed up carefully.

Kirk nodded, "Correct, day one of filming begins today." He surveyed the equipment that lay strewn around his living room once more. He liked that his living room, no longer was it is his mothers just all his. "I think I have everything I need."

"I still don't know why Luke is your muse, he's just so..." Lulu trailed off as she wanted to find the right word. "Grumpy," she settled on. A stark contrast to her sunny persona which was perfect for a third grade teacher. "He reminds me of some of my students when they don't get a long enough time to play outside."

Kirk sighed. "You've always liked Lorelai better. First it was the ribbon..."

"The ribbon was pink!" Lulu interrupted. "You know I love pink!"

"I know! Besides I didn't choose Luke, my muse just spoke to me." Kirk started to gather his things. "Besides he's not always that grumpy. I know from experience, after all we are friends."

"I know honey," Lulu replied. She leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Now go make the greatest film that Stars Hollow has ever seen!"

Kirk smiled and gave Lulu a kiss on the cheek as well before he was out of the house, his very own house that he and Lulu owned together. Lulu's part in the house could clearly be seen through the color pink that graced every room in some form. He didn't mind it since he loved Lulu and since she supported no matter how many new business ventures he tried out. He knew that he would have her unfailingly support for his latest project, just like he always did.

As he began to make his way towards the center of town with all his film equipment now being pulled behind him in a little red wagon that he owned since he was just a kid, he thought about how the gods smiled upon him in granting him Luke Danes as his muse. Everyone else that heard the news thought it was crazy that Kirk would use Luke as a muse for whatever he had in mind but Kirk just couldn't see it as crazy. Not with everything in his past that involved Luke.

If Kirk would consider anyone his best friend, it would be Luke. Or maybe Taylor since they had some kind of bond going on or also maybe Lulu since she was his wife and someone who really understood him but Luke still made the list. And he was higher on the list than many people that resided in Stars Hollow. Luke was even higher on the list than Kirk's brothers, not that he would ever tell his brothers that.

Looking back on the past few days, Kirk couldn't see why he didn't think of Luke as a possible source for his muse earlier. Luke did give him relationship advice with Lulu after all. Luke also helped him numerous times throughout the years, like chasing after him through town when he had a night terror and finding the last few eggs that he couldn't remember where he hid them. Luke also always opened the diner on Thanksgiving day so people like Kirk, who didn't have anywhere else to go, could enjoy a meal with other residents. He even continued that tradition now that he had his own family. And of course Kirk couldn't forget that Luke served as best man in his wedding, though he always thought that had more to do with Lorelai pushing Luke to do it instead of Luke deciding on his own to do it. Either way he enjoyed that on his wedding day Luke was there to help out and celebrate with him. He didn't remember Luke having a terrible time at the wedding.

Though he supposed that one of the favors that Luke did that ranked higher on the list than anything else was when Luke allowed him to actually work in the diner. Sure he only bussed a few tables and wasn't allowed any near the kitchen but out of the jobs he held in Stars Hollow, working at the diner ranked high on his list. Even higher than that time he opened up his own little makeshift diner.

Kirk soon arrived at the center of town and he began to unload his film equipment from his wagon and onto the gazebo. Today was day one of shooting and it was on location in the town square since Luke wouldn't allow him to film in the diner, he already asked and got a hard no. Really it was 'hell no,' but Lulu didn't like that word so he refrained from saying it, at least to her.

While his first film as more artsy and featured a fair amount of break-dancing, this film was going to feel more homey, more rural, more quirky which all fit right in with the Stars Hollow way of life. He thought at first about doing a documentary, since those seemed to be more popular now, but decided against it. The reason being that he didn't think Luke would enjoy a camera shoved in his face twenty-four seven. Plus the idea he had now and was going to execute over the next couple of months was even better than a documentary. He had the feeling that everyone in the Hollow would enjoy what he would bring to Movie Night in the Square.

Kirk turned to face the few people he had asked to meet him here today for film and then cleared his throat. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly stopped when he remembered that he brought his megaphone. He cleared his throat again to get everyone's attention then moved the megaphone up towards his mouth.

"Let's get to filming!"

After a couple of months of filming followed by a month of pure editing broken up by his latest job venture where he found that cats don't like to be walked on leashes nearly as much as dogs, Kirk was ready to debut his latest film. Luckily he finished just in time for Movie Night in the Square, as he had hoped. This year the honor of choosing the movie fell to Lorelai once again who knew very well, as did everyone else in the town, that since Taylor refused to even think about showing many movies, Movie Night in the Square was just a night where everyone got together to watch The Yearling. Kirk found it tricky that Lorelai was one the chosen to oversee movie night because that meant he would have to run his latest short film by her first and he didn't want her or Luke to see it before the actual night it premiered. But since he was chosen to do the whole set-up for the movie, based on his experience at the Black, White, and Read bookstore/sometimes theater, he decided that he didn't need to run it by her first. He would just play his short film after an announcement.

While Kirk was busy trying to figure out how to set-up for the movie while trying not to electrocute himself, again, his muse and his muse's wife were making their way across the town square from the diner. Luke, of course, was practically being drug by Lorelai as she had a pretty tight grip on the sleeve of his jacket. By the looks on the faces, one could easily tell that one was thrilled to be there while the other looked like they would rather be surrounded by noisy shoppers who were really just pawns in the mall's never-ending game of materialism. It was fairy easy to decide assign the roles.

"Remind me again why you're dragging me to this thing," Luke prodded as Lorelai grasped on even tighter to his jacket as she weaved through the small gathering crowd, no doubt trying to get seats on the front row.

"Because you're Kirk's muse," Lorelai replied with a teasing tone to her voice, she stopped long enough to turn around and smile up at her husband. "And we have to see the film that you inspired. I smell a box-office blowout babe."

"But it's Kirk," Luke pointed out. "I don't want to be his muse and I don't want to see the film he made, I'm sure it's ridiculous."

Lorelai nearly giggled, "That's the whole point!"

Luke didn't crack a smile over his wife's giddiness, he had gotten used to the teasing ever since before they were married and he had even managed to survive these past few months where the teasing and mocking ramped up. Instead he sighed heavily and sat down in the chair next to his wife, purposely chosen in the front row.

"What's ridiculous is hiring a babysitter when I could have stayed at home with our children instead of coming here," Luke replied.

"Cheer up grumpy, we'll sit through Kirk's film and then The Yearling again, and when we get home I'll make it up to you and make you forget about all of this," Lorelai promised with another smile. "And we didn't hire a babysitter, we asked my mother to watch the kids. We don't have to pay her, that's part of being a grandparent: free babysitting."

"I'm going to hold you to that promise."

"Looking forward to it hon."

As Kirk took the stage, or just a vegetable crate he found to stand on, Lorelai leaned into Luke who instinctively wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Kirk focused on Luke as he began his speech that started with the day he found out Luke was his muse went through how he first met Luke and ended with him giving a brief explanation of his short film and his love of film-making.

"Oh this is going to be good," Lorelai commented as she leaned in even more to Luke when the film first began to flicker on the screen. "Damn it, I should have brought popcorn."

Luke gently nudged Lorelai a little bit away from him and reached into a pocket inside of his jacket. He produced a package of Red Vines and held them out to her, "It's not popcorn but I think you'll manage."

Lorelai kissed him on the cheek. "You think of everything!"

"Does this mean I can leave now?"

"Shhh babe," Lorelai shushed her husband, "The movie is starting."

The first thing that popped up on the screen was a flannel-clad and backwards baseball cap wearing Kirk who also donned a very clearly painted on scruff around his chin that was sometimes seen on the local diner owner. The scene was clearly shot in the diner that had Luke wondering how in the hell Kirk had access to the diner and Lorelai holding Luke in his seat to prevent a very likely murder. The scene began to unfold with Kirk as Luke starting to serve customers with an ever so present scowl on his face while grumbling about the crazy unnecessary festivals that town had.

Lorelai gave a slight nod of her head, "I was right, this is going to be good."

"I'm going to kill Kirk when this is over," Luke added on.

"Again with the threats on Kirk's life," Lorelai sighed. "You know you don't mean it."

The next scene, still set in the diner, unfolded to reveal KirkLuke standing behind the counter and serving a woman coffee. At first the woman's face couldn't be seen since the shot was from behind and the only thing noticeable about her was a wild mass of raven curls. The camera panned around the diner to reveal the mysterious woman as Lulu who looked very un-Lulu like with her hair teased and makeup not applied as usual. When she leaned back to bat her lashed and flirt with KirkLuke, it was revealed that she wore a The Offspring t-shirt.

Lorelai gasped. "Is that supposed to be me? I don't even like that band," she fumed. "I'm going to kill Kirk."

"Again with the threats on Kirk's life," Luke teased which earned him a glare from Lorelai. "What? Not fun when you're on the other end."

"I'm so taking back my promise."

As the film continued to play out in front of the eagerly awaiting crowd, it soon became clear that this film followed the lives of KirkLuke and LuluLorelai throughout their years in Stars Hollow. The film started with any given day in the diner before a romantic relationship blossomed between the two, although the scenes tended to be more from Luke's perspective, well from KirkLuke's perspective, than anything else since Luke was the muse that inspired the film. The dialogue was clearly gleaned from actual conversations that two people held in the diner while at the same time being kicked up a few notches all for the purpose of film.

While the film followed the lives of KirkLuke and LuluLorelai, it didn't necessarily follow the lives of the real Luke and Lorelai since they both swore half the scenes could only come from the oddly creative mind of Kirk. People that were clearly hired by Kirk portrayed a few townspeople in reenactments of certain events that Kirk felt necessary to add in, like the first kiss of the Stars Hollow couple that he just happened to be present for.

As the film began to draw towards the end, Lorelai began to gain an appreciation for the film and Lulu's portrayal of her while Luke didn't seem to appreciate any of it by saying that Kirk's portrayal of him was a caricature at best. He didn't like the intrusion of his life that Kirk seemed to have now through the power of this film. Lorelai tried to tell him that Kirk probably thought he was doing a good thing for his muse since some the scenes highlighted Luke's contributions to Stars Hollow. Luke, however, couldn't see past the ridiculous costume that Kirk donned and the rants he went on that made absolutely no sense. Though Lorelai pointed out that could all be overshadowed by a few scenes where KirkLuke wasn't wearing flannel and actually said some pretty decent things.

The end of the film was met with a round of applause and shouts from Lorelai for an encore when Kirk decided to take his makeshift stage of a vegetable crate again. He once again focused on Luke as he began to speak.

"And now if my muse would please stand up so everyone knows that you're here," Kirk said. "Luke Danes, please stand."

"Kirk," Luke said sternly.

The look Luke gave Kirk made the man gulp and take a stance that made it appear as if he were about to run.

"Don't you dare run from me Kirk! You know that I can catch you," Luke bellowed.

"You can't catch me old man," Kirk shouted back.

Luke stared Kirk down before he took off in chase of the odd yet sometimes still charming and slightly younger man. Kirk shrieked before he began to run, ducking and swerving in an attempt to confuse Luke as they began a riveting game of cat and mouse. Townspeople moved out of the way as the two grown men ran down the streets and sidewalks of Stars Hollow just continuously going in circles until Kirk suddenly changed course and began to run in the direction of the Dragonfly. After all, it wasn't the weirdest thing they had ever seen happen in the town square.

Lorelai watched on as Kirk and her husband began to fade into the dark of night amidst shouts from Kirk that his short film was just a testament to their friendship and he meant no harm through the production of the film. Kirk's declaration of friendship for Luke soon faded into the distance as did the townspeople interest in the situation. When no more shouts could be heard from either Kirk or Luke, Lorelai turned to face the crowd.

"Who's ready to watch Kirk's film again?"

I know it's absurd but that's also the genius of Kirk.

As always, reviews are appreciated.