It was a normal day, well, as normal as a day in South Park could get, and my friends and I were playing the Sims 3.
"There is no way you're that buff, Fat ass!" Kyle snapped at Cartman, who had made his sim version have the highest muscle amount.
"Yes I am you lousy Jew, all this under my shirt is pure muscle." Cartman retorted.
"Muscle doesn't jiggle you fat turd!"
I sighed, years and years of their constant fighting was just getting old.
"Just hurry up Cartman, we want to make sims versions of ourselves and Wendy too." I said.
"Why would you want to make that hippie bitch for?" He asked.
"Because, she's my girlfriend." I replied simply, not telling him that I was curious to see what mine and Wendy's sim baby would look like.
After what seemed like an eternity later, Cartman finally finished his sim, he had short brown hair, a long beard, which Cartman doesn't have, and he was dressed in a red button up shirt with a pair of brown shorts.
"Now time for the personality traits." Cartman said, and another eternity later, he made his sim, ambitious, athletic, brave, genius, and irresistible.
I thought about telling him that none of those fit him, but I didn't want to wait for another eternity, I guess Kyle felt the same way, because he didn't say anything either.
"So, who's next?" I asked.
"Kenny can go next." Kyle said, I nodded in agreement, it probably wouldn't take him long.
As luck would have it, it didn't take Kenny long at all, he just randomized a sim, and adjusted his skin tone, body type, hair, and eye colour. Then he put him in an orange shirt and a pair of jeans. For his personality, he chose, unlucky, flirty, artistic, charismatic, and frugal.
"You know what's kind of ironic? Unlucky sims can't die from anything except old age." Cartman said.
I let out a small laugh, as I watched Kyle make his sim version. His sim had hair a little bit tamer than his own, but other than that, he looked as close as a sim person could get to someone. For his personality, he chose, computer whiz, family oriented, friendly, hot-headed, and perceptive.
"Wow, this one looks a lot like me already." I remarked when I randomized a sim that had black hair and blue eyes just like me.
All I had to do was make his jawline a little bit more square, and his nose a little smaller, and presto, there I was. I almost gave sim me a mustache and beard, until Cartman told me that my sim looked JUST like my dad and Kyle agreed, in the end, I settled on just giving him side burns. I knew that I didn't really have sideburns, but someday I would.
For my sim's personality, I chose, animal lover, athletic, friendly, good, and hopeless romantic.
"Now time for Wendy." I said, earning a 'stupid hippie bitch' from Cartman.
"Her boobs are smaller than that, they're like little mosquito bites." He pointed out when I was half-way done.
"And what are you doing looking at my girlfriend's breasts?" I asked.
"Dude, she's always having them all up in everyone's faces, showing them off for killer titty week or something." Cartman said. I sighed and rolled my eyes, I learned long ago that it wasn't even worth my time to argue with him, it was like arguing with a brain damaged brick wall.
After I finished Wendy, despite many comments about how, 'her nose is bigger, her eyes are too small, her lips are too big', I started to pick out her personality traits. In the end, these were the traits I gave her sim, ambitious, brave, charismatic, genius, and good.
"Whew finally! I thought you were never going to finish." Cartman said, like he had any room to talk.
Ten minutes later, all of our sims were set up in a two bedroom starter house.
"Okay so, Wendy and I will share a bed, you and Kenny will share a bed, and Cartman can sleep on the couch." I told Kyle.
"Ey! Why do I have to sleep on the couch? Make Kinneh sleep on the couch, he's the poor one." Cartman said.
"Oh? So you wanna share a bed with Kyle?" I asked with my brow cocked.
"No ew, gosh, what's wrong with you?" Cartman said, shaking his head.
"Well, if Kenny sleeps on the couch, then that means that you and Kyle will share a bed." I said looking over at Kyle who looked absolutely disgusted.
"You sleep with Kahl, I'll sleep with hippy bitch, someone has to be the straight man of the house." Cartman said.
"Didn't you ask Butters out last week?" Kyle asked.
"Ew no! Why would I ask that butt licker out for?" Cartman exclaimed.
"So, back to the game-" I started to say, however, when I turned back to it, I saw that all of our sim selves were girls, and that we all had the biggest boobs you can get on there.
"Kenny." I said sternly, looking at the hooded boy who was shaking from laughter.
"Ey! Turn us back you poor piece of shit!" Cartman exclaimed, noticing our gender-bent sim selves as well.
Kyle, surprisingly, did not seem upset by this,
"You should make Wendy a boy, and make her and Kristan have a baby together." He snorted.
"Kristan? Really?" I asked.
"Well, yea, it fits." He said with a shrug.
"Kinneh change us back right now or I'll kick you in da nuts!" Cartman wailed.
"I'm going to have Wendell knock up us all, then we can judge on who has the cutest baby." Kenny said with a mischievous grin.
"Oh god, please don't." I groaned, I almost gagged when I imagined what Cartman and Wendy's baby would look like.
However, like he always does, Kenny ignored me, and he ended up having 'Wendell' knock up all of our sim selves, and in the end, everyone hated each other because of all the cheating and what not.
"STAAN TIME FOR SUPER WE'RE HAVING FISH STICKS!" Dad called from downstairs.
"STAAAAAAAAAAAN!" He called again.
"I have to go eat, we can play later." I said as I exited and accidentally saved the messed up gender-bent game.
"Dammit." I groaned.
"It's okay Stan, our normal sims are still in the gallery." Kyle reassured me.
Little did I know that having gender-bent sims of ourselves would be the least of our worries when it came to this game.