This is my idea of what should have happened after the last episode on 2/20. It picks up right where the episode left Upstead One-shot.
My first time ever writing anything, I am extremely nervous about posting, but wanted to share as I dont feel like there is a lot of fanfic for Upstead right now like I wish there was! Hope you like it!
Inevitable
Jay's POV
Its 9pm and he's finally leaving work for the day. This has been an exhausting case- and Jay can't seem to stop thinking about what all went down. Those boys. Their futures. How his day could've ended so differently had Aiden lifted his gun at him. How it could've ended so differently if Hailey didn't back him in those moments. The words that Hailey said in the observation room kept running through his mind.
"You looked at me- with Aiden. You looked at me and I got it". The way she said it. The way she looked at him. How deeply she gets him, and trusts him. He was happy to hear those words, having a partner that you are so completely in sync with is everything to him. But more than anything he couldn't help but feel a little confused. The whole situation is just complicated. And as much as he tries not to think about her, he can't seem to get her off his mind. He shakes his head and wonders if he's over thinking things. She probably didn't mean anything else by it, just that she trusts him. But maybe she did? He can't shake the thought that it felt like more. The way she quickly had to walk away after looking him in the eyes, she had to feel it too. Their connection is undeniable. The only thing he knows for sure is that he has done something he swore he would never do again; He has completely fallen for his partner.
He's known it for a while... and no matter how hard he has tried to fight his feelings, he just cant get her off his mind. He didn't realize how deep those feelings were until the moment he saw her with Adam.
He was in such deep thought that the noise from his cell phone ringing made him jump.
"Hey Kev, whats up?" Jay asks.
"Hey man, I'm heading to Mollys for a few drinks, figured after the day you had you could use a couple yourself". Atwater was right. With everything he had on his mind a few drinks sounded like a great plan.
"Alright, I'll see you there in ten". Jay replies as he makes a u-turn and heads to Mollys.
He takes a seat at the bar beside Kevin.
"Hey Kidd, can I get a shot of Bourbon please.. better yet, go ahead and make that two".
"Wow, go big or go home" Kevin says with a laugh.
"Its been a hell of a day man", he says as he throws back the first shot.
They sit there for a while watching the game and drinking. It was a much needed distraction.
He wishes Hailey were there. He thinks about texting her, but knows shes probably with Adam.
Haileys POV
Hailey is happy to be home after such a hard case. She's so glad it ended the way it did. She can't help but think about what it would've done to Jay if he had to shoot Aiden. That would've destroyed him. She wonders what he's doing now. She really enjoys the time they spend together after cases like this one.. Talking it through. Saying what's on their mind. She knows she can tell him anything, and more than anything she really enjoys his company. She knows he understands her in a way that nobody else does, and she's so grateful to have that in a partner. She thinks about texting him- but doesn't. They haven't spent a whole lot of time together outside of work since the day he found out about her and Adam.
She hears a knock at the door and immediately smiles. She jumps up to answer it and laughs because he must have been thinking the same thing as her. "Guess he wanted to talk also" she mumbles to herself as she walks to the door. When she opens it and sees Adam her smile goes away. Adam kisses her head and walks in.
"I figured you could use some company tonight...anything good on tv?" Adam asks.
Hailey smiles at him the best that she can and heads for the couch.
"I love this one! " Adam says as he turns on a movie. They snuggle in together as the movie starts and Hailey can't help but think about what just happened.
"Am I actually disappointed that my boyfriend came over, and not my partner?!"
"What in the world is going on with me?" Hailey thinks to herself. She has tried so hard to convince herself that she doesn't have feelings for Jay. She has been fighting it with everything she has. She can't fall for another partner.. But deep down she's starting to realize that it's just too late. She can't go through what she went through again, and the last thing in the world she wants to do is hurt Adams feelings. She does care about him as a person... Besides, what would that do to the unit if she ended things with him because of her feelings for Jay?
"Is everything alright?" Adam asks Hailey. He can't help but notice the way her face dropped when she saw him tonight. She seems so spaced out and distant lately.
"Just have a lot on my mind" Hailey replies.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.
"No, not really" she replies with tears in her eyes.
He doesnt push, and the next few moments are silent. Hailey knows she has to tell him. He is a good guy and she cares about him very much. He deserves to know the truth.
She lifts her head off his chest and looks him in the eyes as sincerely as she can. "I dont want to talk about it, but I know that we need to" she says, taking a deep breath.
"Adam... I care about you a lot. I enjoy hanging out with you, you are such a great guy... But I.."
Adam interrupts her before she can say another word.
"I know. You don't have to say any more Hailey. We have fun together, neither of us were looking for a relationship when we started fooling around...I don't think we expected it to last this long- but it really has been fun. But as far as a relationship this just isn't going anywhere, so I totally get it... and after what Voight said last week about keeping our personal lives out of the unit, i realized that it was affecting me at work, and I know neither of us want that".
Hailey lets out a gentle sigh of relief. She has felt terrible at the thought of hurting his feelings, when all along he felt the same way.
"Friends?" she says, as she looks at him with a half smile.
"Always" he replies as he kisses her head and stands up. "Honestly, I'm absolutely exhausted. I am going to head home to get some sleep".
Hailey stands up and hugs him before he leaves. They were both extremely relieved that they talked about it.
The door shut and she heads for her cell phone. She starts to text Jay, but quickly deletes it.
"I can't do this" she thinks to herself as she puts her phone down. She has so much going on in her head, she doesn't want to make a bad decision spur of the moment. She cant stand the thought of messing up their friendship.
A few minutes pass and she sits back down to finish the movie Adam started. It wasnt long before she heard another knock at the door. She assumes Adam forgot something.
She's surprised to see Jay standing there when she opens the door.
"Hey can we talk for a minute?" Jay asks.
"Yeah of course, is everything okay?" she replies.
Jay takes a few steps inside.
She heads to the fridge and offers him a drink.
"I can't stay long. I've actually already had a few drinks, Kevin drove me over here because I needed to talk to you about something and he's waiting outside".
Hailey looks a little puzzled. This is not like Jay at all. She's nervous about what he's about to say.
"Adam isn't here is he?" he says looking around.
"No, he just left".
Jay takes a deep breath before letting out what he needed to say.
"Hailey.. I can't be your partner anymore. I'm sorry"
"What? Wow. Why?" Hailey asks, completely caught off guard.
"I just can't. You didn't do anything wrong Hailey. I just think its for the best. I am going to talk to Vought tomorrow. I didn't want you to find out from him, I wanted to tell you myself".
"What? I really don't understand, if nothing happened then why are you dropping me as your partner? What is going on Jay?"
Jays phone buzzes... Its Atwater.
"He's waiting to take me home. I'm sorry Hailey. I wish I could explain but it will only make everything worse".
"Just try Jay, please. Stay and talk to me. Whatever it is. I'll be okay with you talking to Voight, but I at least want to know why, that's all".
She can tell by the look in his eyes that he wants to tell her what's going on. She picks up her phone and makes a phone call.
"Hey Kevin- I'm going to give Jay a ride home tonight, you don't have to wait. Thanks for bringing him by and not letting him drive".
Kevin was happy about that. Jay lives in the northern suburbs and Kevin didnt want to drive that far this late anyways.
Jay shakes his head, irritated.
Hailey puts her phone down. "Okay now you don't have to rush. Please talk to me".
"I can't believe you just did that. I told you I can't Hailey. I CANT"
She's getting really frustrated. It just doesn't make any sense.
"WHY CANT YOU TELL ME JAY?"
"BECAUSE I SWORE I'D NEVER DO THIS AGAIN." he says.
"JAY! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DO WHAT AGAIN?"
"THIS HAILEY. YOU AND ME. THIS"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AND ME"? She asks, although she is starting to understand what hes trying to say.
He calms down and takes a step towards her.
"When you told me today that when we were with Aiden I looked at you, and you got it.. and that if you had to follow anyone blind, you'd follow me... it just felt like there was a little more to it than just trusting your partner". Jay looks up at her and says.
She cuts him off "What do you mean?"
"I dont know.. I dont even know what I mean.. but I cant stop thinking about it. I cant stop thinking about you Hailey. I've had feelings for you for a long time. And I know you are with Adam... I dont want to get in the way of that and I definitely didnt want to mess up our partnership so I was okay with just keeping it to myself. But the way you looked at me today Hailey. I just cant shake it. I just cant stop thinking about you. I want to be with you, and its eating me alive knowing that you are with him. So I cant be your partner anymore. I just cant do it, I'm sorry".
She looks at him completely stunned by what just came out of his mouth.
He pulls his phone out of his pocket to call an Uber and turns around to leave.
"Where are you going?" she asks.
"I have to go. I'm sorry Hailey". He looks at her and sees the tears welling up in her eyes as he starts to walk out.
"So that its then? You just get to say everything you have to say and then you are going to leave without giving me the chance to speak?"
"Jay". she says softly as she grabs his hand and stops him from leaving.
"When Adam came over tonight I thought it was you. When I opened the door and saw that it was him I was really disappointed. Adam left early tonight because we decided that we needed to end things between us". She says as she takes a step closer to him.
"You are right Jay. I did feel it too, today when I said what I said. I did feel it too. Thats why I had to walk away. I swore I'd never get myself in this situation again..." she continues while shaking her head slowly closing the gap between them a little more.
"And If you want to march in there tomorrow and tell Voight all about how you need a new partner because you don't want to work with me anymore then fine. That will suck, and I know we both really dont want that, but fine."
She takes a deep breath and reaches past him to lock the deadbolt before finishing what she has to say.
With her face so close to his that they are almost touching, she looks him in the eyes and says "You can tell Voight whatever you want. But you aren't going anywhere tonight".
He smiles and sweetly says "come here" as he pulls her body completely into his before kissing her deeply.
He smiles as she takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom.
"Well this conversation went a lot better than I thought it would.." He says as she closes the door behind them.
The End.
