Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did… Sasuke would have turned against Madara in the war and fought alongside the shinobi.

He had a great sleep last night and nothing was going to ruin the rest of the day for him. He decided that he'll wake up from his bed, prepare himself for the day, and roam around the village until something good came around. Maybe even Naruto would want to spar with him… He does need to train a bit more…Or so he thinks.

Sasuke could just picture himself beating the crap out of that idiot. Oh how he loves to feel stronger than anyone… He turns to his left and relaxes again, only to feel something out of the ordinary. He merely just shrugged it off; he didn't think much of it. That is…until it moved. Sasuke awoke with a jolt and pulled the covers off him in a haste only to see something that doesn't really belong there. An egg. Not just a normal egg, it was a pretty large one actually. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"A-an egg…? H-how'd that get there?" Sasuke wonders out loud, getting off the bed. He was wearing boxers and a plain top to go with them. It had to be around 5 in the morning, he thought; it was still dark out. His room was also dark, much to his dismay. Stumbling through the dark room, he entered the bathroom and went over to the sink where he splashed his face a bit. He looked at his barely visible reflection in the mirror and thought to himself. "This has got to be a dream… It's just a dream… There was not an egg on my bed." He denied multiple times as he exited the bathroom and back to his room.

So he walked up to the bed, expecting to not see an egg on his bed. But, unfortunately for his partially sane mind, there was an egg…on his bed…where he slept…minutes ago… He rubbed his eyes, hoping that it's just a fragment of his imagination still or that his vision is playing games on him again, but when he looked again, the egg was still there. But then the real question comes in… How in the world did that egg get on his bed…? I mean, it couldn't have possibly fallen out of a nest because he's pretty sure that's highly unlikely. Also, a bird couldn't bring it in either… Naruto could be playing a prank on him but, the egg's not even an egg he's ever seen before. So this can't be a normal egg or a prank from Naruto. Could he have really…? Did he really?

"…I LAID AN EGG?" Sasuke finally bursts, losing all the sanity in him and running amok in his room screaming bloody murder.

~Couple minutes later~

Sasuke collapsed on the floor after at least 15 minutes of non-stop screaming, trying to breathe calmly. He needs to think rationally… Alright… he needs to go somewhere…where someone can explain things to him… Mmm… But who?

"I've got to be retarded…" he mused sarcastically. He sat up and turn to face the egg, laying there on his bed; his bed. Oh hell no. Not his bed. This egg's got to go. He stood up, mind set straight as to what he was going to do. He was going to Tsunade and ask for an explanation. Smirking to himself, as if he'd just won a world championship, the idiot stumbles to his feet and picks up the egg with a little difficulty, since…it's a big egg. Ok. He's got the egg. Now, to head for the Hokage tower A.S.A.P!

With said determination, he stumbled out of his house and into the street; though the young insane teen never realized that he was underdressed.

Tsunade sat at her desk, playing with that stupid pen she has to use to fill out those papers. To hell she'll work on those papers… On the day she dies will she work on them. She sighed, bored out of her mind. Nothing has happened recently in the village that causes a state of panic…which is bad but it's better than nothing! Last time something happened… Actually, she can't remember when was the last time something happened…the war a year ago? Yeah, that was it. Oh and also trying to get Sasuke to get his sanity back and to remind him that Konoha is home and everyone in it is family. Took a while for him to calm down… In the end, he never fully was sane again… but it was better than nothing.

"At least the boy has gotten a bit of his sanity and dignity back…" she sighed for the umpteenth time today. Out of the nothing, the door barges open and in stumbles said boy. Alright… let her rephrase that… he's gotten some of his sanity and well… she believes he's lost his dignity. I mean, for Christ sake, the boy's in his sleeping garments… or in this case boxers and a plain top. Oh and also, very, very messy hair. "Sasuke, what in God's name are you doing here at such unholy hours looking like a retarded hobo?" she dares to ask.

"Looking like a retarded…?" he trails off, looking down at himself. And now he realizes he didn't fix himself up this morning. Oh well, he can't help what he is. "Okay, I see what you're referring to… but the reason why I'm here is because I'm freaking out!" he exclaims dramatically.

"You lost your sanity again? Because it sure looks like it," she mused to herself. This only earned her a glare.

"No…Well I don't know actually…" he mumbles, rubbing the back of his head. He shook his head and looked up at her. "Anyway, Tsunade, I laid an egg!"

She almost choked on her spit. "You what?"

"I laid an egg…" he says slowly this time as to get the message across.

Tsunade nodded and eyed him skeptically. "And why should I believe a guy that looks like he woke up in the crazy side of the street?"

He growled and pulled the egg up to her desk. "I GOT PROOF! SEE?"

"Holy crap that's a big egg…" she mutters surprised at how large it was. She's never seen one this big… Taking a deep breath, she looks up at the crazed male and sighs…again. "So tell me… how exactly did you get that egg?"

She received a shrug from said male. "I don't know. I just woke up to find an egg next to me."

"Well Sasuke… I'm not sure if you're happy about this or not but either way, it's impossible for you to lay an egg," she chuckles amused by this boy. I mean seriously, what kind of man believes he laid an egg?

"But Tsunade, have you ever seen an egg like this one?" he asks and receives a face that clearly states that she's never seen one. "See, then I did lay an egg!"

"Sasuke, as much as I'd love to agree with you, for my own amusement, it's impossible for a male to lay an egg or give birth," she stifles a laugh. "I suggest you get rid of that egg or something before people think you've lost your sanity again…"

He gasps, taking the egg back to his arms and pulling it away from her, shocked. "How dare you say that to my egg?"

Tsunade sweatdropped. "Didn't he come to me complaining about this random egg that popped up on his bed moments ago…? Is he bipolar or something?" She sighed again and waved a lazy hand at him. "Alright, alright, do whatever you want with that damn egg… Just…make sure you keep your mind in check…"

"My mind's a-ok," he pouts, seeming offended.

She rubbed her temples in irritation and decided that it's best to have someone watch over him after all… "Sakura!" Said girl popped into the room in seconds.

"Whoa, how'd she get here?" Sasuke asks out loud in awe.

"Yes Lady Tsunade?" Sakura politely asks, ignoring the seeming out of his wits Sasuke at the moment….

"Sakura dear, do me a favor and watch over this nincompoop here… He believes he "laid an egg" and I'm starting to worry about his sanity. He can no longer be left alone again," Tsunade explains.

"An egg…?" Sakura mumbles eyeing Sasuke to see him cooing at the egg and petting it affectionately. Okay, she never thought Sasuke would weird her out but damn was she wrong… "Sasuke… You do know a male can't have children…"

"But a male seahorse can now can he?" he glares.

Sakura was taken aback. Well what do you know…for once he actually left her speechless… "Goodpoint… but Sasuke, I'm serious, a human being can't lay eggs…"

Tsunade shook her head amused by the little argument they were having. "Sakura, he won't listen to you…just go with it until the egg hatches."

"Oh kami have mercy on me…" Sakura sweatdropped, grabbing Sasuke by the arm. "Come on Sasuke, let's go get some supplies for your…child…"

He shrugged her off and walked next to her as if he didn't mind being followed by someone to watch over him. Doesn't he feel weak? Last time she checked, Uchiha Sasuke did not like feeling weak… "Hn'kay…"

"Sasuke… are you okay mentally?" Sakura dares to ask.

"You know what Sakura?" he says, spacing out a little. "I don't know anymore… I just don't know…"

"…At least you're honest to say you're not okay…" she sighed, walking with him out of the tower and into the streets. "…First we got to get you dressed before we do anything…"

"Oh… Oh yeah I forgot I'm still in my PJ's…"

"PJ's?"

"Shut up, at least I wear something unlike Lee!"

"Oh my kami…" she says scarred for the rest of her little life. "Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate you."

"I love you too dear."

~Hours later that day~

Hours have gone by since Sasuke "laid" the egg. Sakura's been stuck with him the whole time. Poor girl… She has had to put up with his insanity all morning so far. It's noon at the moment, and there's been a lot of people who have stared at Sasuke as he carried the egg and cooed it. Sakura's embarrassed to say the least. Never in her life has she wanted to run away from Sasuke like today… Some even have asked him about the egg and he's answered them the same way he answered her and Tsunade. Of course, they tried to reason with him that males can't give birth or lay eggs for that matter but they were also rejected by Sasuke who still believes he laid it.

Sakura's pretty sure this morning he came in with a complaint about it but now…He's obsessing over the egg…and it's starting to creep her out. But fortunately for her, its noon and noon means that Naruto's up and about in his complex…probably fetching some instant ramen. And that's exactly what she's hoping for. Sakura has had enough of Sasuke, maybe Naruto can help her out with this… If she can get him to get into it… but of course! She knows how!

"Sasuke-kun," she called for the overly obsessed male. He turns around and kami did she regret him doing so. He had a baby holster holding the egg in place as he put a blanket over it to keep it warm. To tell you the truth, Sasuke's core temperature is quite warm so a blanket is enough. He almost looked like a pregnant woman holding her bulging belly. Oh boy… "Uh… H-How about we go to Naruto's so he can see your wonderful egg?"

His small, yet cute frown diminished and he smiled, not a big one, but it was noticeable. Damn did he look cute enough to kiss… "Sure thing." Sakura had to use all her will power to not go up to the male and kiss those sexy lips of his. She went up to him and grabbed his hand, smiling at him.

"Well then, let's go. In a couple more minutes, he'll be up and about and it will be impossible to find him after that," she said as she led him down the street. Again, many people stared. Some even stifled their laughter. Sasuke of course could care less. Apparently that egg means a lot to him…

Despite having to deal with his constant insanity, Sakura finally made it to the complex and knocked on Naruto's door. Inside a bunch of shuffling was evident along with something breaking and a cursing groggy male. The door slung open and said blonde stood in the doorway with a mouthful of noodles, holding an instant cup of ramen. His eyes trailed slowly over to Sakura, inspecting her a little, and then they trailed over to Sasuke and stopped there. All the noodles he was holding in his mouth burst out as he burst into a fit of laughter. Sakura and Sasuke moved to the side and avoided the barrage of noodles heading their way. The blonde rubbed a tear that formed on his eye and gasped for breaths. He looked at Sasuke again, to make sure he wasn't dreaming but damn, was he wrong; it was all too real. He burst into a laughing fit again, much to Sakura's annoyance. After a couple minutes, the male calmed down enough to be able to talk.

"Ah…ah…ha… Sakura-chan," he says, still having a few giggles here and there. "What are you doing here so early-pffff…. Ah…"

She glared. "How many times to I have to tell you that it's noon, not morning. Anyway… It has to do with… him." She hisses in Sasuke's direction.

"Teme a la momma?" Naruto asks.

"What?" Sakura asked not sure what to make of what he just said.

"Nothing," he snorted. "Why don't you guys come in and we can talk about this inside?"

Sakura nodded in thanks and entered, followed closely by Sasuke and the egg. Naruto let out one more laugh and closed the door behind them. They all took a seat on the available couches and chairs around the living room. Naruto took another slurp of the ramen while they stared at each other in silence. After a moment of silence, Naruto decides to speak up.

"So…What's up with teme?" was the first thing to come out of his mouth.

"Well Naruto," Sakura clears her throat. "Sasuke here 'laid' an egg…"

Again Naruto tried to stifle a laugh. "And how exactly could he lay an egg?"

I shrugged and so did Sasuke. "I woke up and it was on my bed," Sasuke answers.

"And just because you found it on your bed, you think you laid it?" Naruto asks.

"Well yeah, how in the world would it have ended up there in the first place?" he scoffs.

Naruto turned to look at Sakura and leaned in, "Uh…Is he sane still?"

"Nope," Sakura answers. "He's lost what little sanity he had left this morning."

"Oh geez…" Naruto sighs.

"He came up to Tsunade in the morning and told her he laid an egg and she assigned me the mission to make sure Sasuke doesn't go too overboard but he's proving to be a challenge…" Sakura sighs dramatically. "Could you help me, Naruto? Since you're so strong and amazing at everything?"

A triumphant smirk made its way to his face. "Sure thing Sakura-chan, anything to help a friend in need; that's what I, Uzumaki Naruto was born to do!"

"Really?" Sakura asks cutely. "You'll help me?"

"Of course! How bad can it be?" he asks.

That's when Sasuke gasped, earning both our attentions. "My baby kicked~" he cooed, rubbing the egg.

"Oh Kami…" Naruto mumbles.

Sakura couldn't wipe the smirk off his face. "Exactly…"

"Well um…" Naruto tries to change the subject. "Teme, want to train?"

"But that's a little too dangerous for the baby," he mumbles, still rubbing the egg.

"No it won't. We'll put it somewhere safe at the sidelines while we train so we won't hurt it," Naruto tries to convince him.

"I'm still supposed to be protecting it from harm…" he growls, which was a little intimidating Sakura noted.

"And that's why you're training. So you can be stronger to protect it."

"Mmm…Good point… Alright, let's go train," Sasuke says with new found excitement. He sure wants that egg to hatch…

If there's one thing Sakura learned from this… she learned that Naruto is really good at convincing people.

~At the training field~

"Alright teme, let's see what you got!" Naruto roared getting into a fighting stance.

Sasuke smirked and craned his neck, "Sure thing dobe."

"At least he's acting like himself again…" Sakura sighs, looking over her shoulder to the egg. That egg has driven Sasuke mad for some reason… The egg moved a little, as if something kicked it. "Holy crap… It kicked," she mumbles in total shock. Her attention turned back to the boys as a huge explosion occurred.

The boys were going full at it. They kicked, punched, head butted, whatever kind of body part that could move they used. Sure they probably gave each other a concussion but they're still moving so that's a good sign. From what she could see, already the boys caused some major damage to one another. Both were bleeding from the nose and Naruto had a black eye already. Then they turned to jutsus. Naruto sent out a bunch of clones at Sasuke but Sasuke deflected them with a chidori stream.

Sakura was then interrupted from viewing when an anbu appeared in front of her. She turned her attention to the man and wondered why they would summon him after her. He bowed slightly, as if to excuse himself for interrupting her. "Sakura, Lady Tsunade has summoned you for a very important discussion."

"Oh…alright, I'll be there in a minute," Sakura answers. He nods and disappears into a puff of smoke. Sakura sighed and stood up. She was about to leave when she remembered that she was actually looking after the egg for Sasuke. She gulped and turned to the boys. "Guys, I'll be gone for a while, Tsunade has called for me!"

"Yeah sure, whatever!" Naruto called back. "Have fun!" and with that they kept on fighting one another. Sakura sighed. She can't believe Sasuke already forgot about the egg. She shrugged it off and thought that if something happens to the egg, it's not her fault because she warned them. With that thought, she went off to the Hokage tower to see what the hell Tsunade wants from her.

~With the boys, hours later~

Naruto and Sasuke collapsed on the ground, exhausted. They were soaked in sweat and were breathing hard. Their muscles ached and Sasuke started to wonder why he didn't come out here that morning in the first place. Then he remembered. He sat up abruptly and rubbed the sweat off his forehead. Naruto heard him shuffling and prompted himself up with his elbow and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's up?" Naruto asks him, wondering why he stood up so soon.

Sasuke looked over to where the egg was supposed to be and noticed it wasn't there. "The egg… Where's the egg?" Sasuke panicked, stumbling to his feet and looking around, wondering if Sakura moved it before she left but it was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh crap, I forgot about the egg," Naruto says sheepishly standing up as well. "Maybe Sakura took it with her?"

"No she didn't," Sasuke hissed. "An hour ago, 2 hours after Sakura left, the egg was still there on that spot!" he growls, pointing at the spot where the egg was just hours ago.

"Well… maybe it hatched?" his idiotic friend suggested.

Sasuke glared, not taking the suggestion. "If it hatched, it would have stayed here waiting for me and there would be egg shells everywhere. But there's nothing, nada, it's clean. Somebody must've taken it!"

"And they're probably going to cook it too…" Naruto thought.

His blood ran cold, "Oh no…" he grabbed his best friend by the shoulders and squeezed them as he shook the blonde harshly. "We've got to find it!"

"Teme…chilax, it's just an egg…" Naruto sweatdropped trying to get him to let go, "Maybe you'll lay another one?"

At this the dark haired male glared at the idiot. "Naruto, for a man to lay an egg it's nearly impossible."

"But you said you laid it."

"I did, because I did lay it, but this is a once in a lifetime occurrence!"

"Oh wow, so you did have some reality somewhere in your head," the idiot cheered.

The male glared at his friend for a moment but then shrugged it off. He grabbed his arm and pulled him down to where the egg was. "Check if you see anything that looks suspicious…" he orders, looking for evidence somewhere.

"Like the brush and the grass stepped on?" Naruto wonders.

"Yes, do you see something?" Sasuke asks, hopeful.

"Right there…" he points to the spot right in front of Sasuke's face. Sasuke slapped his face. How could he be so stupid? "You might want to get your vision checked again…" Naruto joked. But he might be right. Sasuke also had the thought of checking his vision.

"Come on, let's go!" With that, Sasuke jumped over the bushes and went after the small trail that leads to his beloved egg. These people must've been stupid because they didn't think of covering their tracks.

After just a couple of minutes, they reached a field where some kind of civilization of hobos lived. Sasuke and Naruto came to a halt in the bushes and eyed the people, then searched for any signs of the egg. Soon enough, some guys started discussing about today's meal.

"So what're we having today?" one asks.

"Lucky for us I found this big ol egg that could feed all of us!" the other shrieks in delight, pulling out Sasuke's egg. "Look how big it is, bro!"

"That's a good looking egg," the other slobbers as he awed the egg.

Another hobo guy walks up to them, holding a big stick. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at this and Naruto prayed that those guys aren't going to smash the egg with that. But unfortunately, they were. Sasuke sprang out and lounged for the guy holding his egg. He grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him away from his egg and jumps over it just as the guy with the stick comes smashing the stick down. The stick breaks on Sasuke's back and the guys froze as they realized what they've just hit with the stick.

"Uh…You alright there, bro?" one of them asks.

Sasuke lifted his head up a little, glaring at them so darkly that the guys couldn't move a muscle in fear. Sasuke rose, standing in front of his egg, still glaring at them. "How dare you try to break my egg…" he hisses. That's when Naruto comes out of the bushes before Sasuke kills them. He put a shoulder on his seething friend and held him back.

"Sorry about that," Naruto apologizes. "You see… This egg here is Sasuke's…uh… priced possession at the moment…"

"It's my child," Sasuke glares at Naruto.

"Right, right…Sorry, his child."

The hobos stared at Sasuke then at the egg. "How the hell does that happen?" One cackles.

"Something that big can't come out of a little passage way like that!" the other laughs as well.

Sasuke frowned, embarrassed of their comments and picks up his beloved egg and stalks off back into the woods. Naruto laughs awkwardly with them but then notices his friend leaving. He turns around and heads after Sasuke. "Yo teme, they're hobo people, don't feel discouraged. If you want to hatch it, hatch it."

"It's not that…" Sasuke mumbles making Naruto raise an eyebrow. "They called my thing small…"

Naruto sweatdropped, "Sasuke… I'm pretty sure you know exactly how big it is so uh… if they say it's small… um… well… Ah I don't have any idea how to answer to that…"

"Thanks a lot," he huffed, stomping off into the woods.

Naruto laughed meekly and wondered why would a guy care so much about his size… Then again… if his was small… Oh now he understands what Sasuke's going through. He shook his head amused and walked after his best friend.

~Dawn later that day~

So they all got together, all the konoha 12 and witnessed momma Sasuke and his egg. They all couldn't believe that Sasuke thought he laid it. I mean come on, it's impossible. But of course, to not piss him off to the point that he wants to kill them all again, they went along with it. Ino though, she was enticed with the egg as well, wondering what kind of cute animal will emerge from it.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" she asks him.

Sasuke shrugged. "I think it's a boy…"

"And how would you know that?" Neji asks skeptically.

"Because of the core temperature," Sasuke answers. "It's warm but it's not too warm like a female would be…"

"Sasuke you are quite inspiring!" Lee remarks, getting all high and mighty again. "To think you'd go to such lengths to protect this egg is just remarkable!"

"Lee…" Tenten sweatdropped.

"Ah… thanks…?" Sasuke wondered.

Shino leaned in to Sakura, who had been with Sasuke the longest and asked, "You've dealt with him this whole time?"

"You have no idea," Sakura sighed.

"I'm so sorry," he pats her shoulder.

Akamaru barked at the egg and everyone turned to it as they heard a crack. Sasuke freaked out thinking that he might have broken it by accident but Ino calmed him down. "He's hatching silly!" At that Sasuke stared at the egg as it kept cracking and cracking.

"The moment of truth…" Naruto snickers. "Let's see what's inside that egg…"

Sasuke and the others unconsciously leaned in as the cracks spread and caused more. Suddenly the top comes off and everyone pulls their heads back in surprise except for Sasuke. The others looked up at him and he returned their glances. "Well…What is it?" Ino asks.

Sasuke pulls the blanket off the egg and picks out something from inside. He wrapped it in it and rubbed the baby. Everyone still awaited his answer when he smirked. Sasuke lifted the baby so everyone could see and they all were speechless.

"A human baby?" Neji gasped shocked.

"Not just any baby, my baby," Sasuke smirked. And he wasn't kidding. That child looked exactly like him.

"What the hell?" was all Naruto could say.

"Awwwww, it's so cute!" Ino cooes.

"…So… that really was Sasuke's baby?" Lee asks, a little shocked.

"I told you I laid it," Sasuke smirks triumphantly with pride.

~Elsewhere~

Tsunade was doing research about the different kinds of eggs and found the egg Sasuke had with him. She read on and realized the most shocking thing ever. It's a mystical egg that appears at random times and places and when it hatches, that baby turns into the person or thing that raised it. Tsunade laughed at this.

"Well what do you know…" she snickered, "I guess he kind of was a parent to a random egg!"

End

And that's it for this nutty fanfic I randomly thought of one day… Any questions just ask and I'll do my best to answer them –sweatdrop- cuz this story's just pure crack or something

Review! …If you want… -sweatdrop-