Katniss Everdeen had never thought about boys. She didn't think about girls, either, mind you. Katniss just didn't think about anyone but her baby sister and herself. That's the kind of mindset you get into after your dad dies and your mother doesn't seem to be able to hear or see anything real anymore… It just didn't matter to her if Marin was dating Elynia or if Kandin was crushing on Marin's older brother Trin, who clearly had his own crush on the seamstress' daughter, Linen. What mattered to her was being sure that her sister, her Little Duck, survived every day without starving to death or freezing in the cold winters of Twelve.

Peeta Mellark had always thought about girls. He didn't mind thinking about boys, either, though not the same way he thought of girls; but the majority of his wonderment was aimed at the female half of the District. No matter what he did, he couldn't escape girls. His mother hated him for not being a girl; his best friend for most of his childhood was the next-door-neighbor's daughter, Delilah (he called her "Delly" when he was two and didn't know how to say her full name and it stuck; now everyone called her by the name he'd unwittingly bestowed on her during their toddler years). Besides that, he was desperately in love with Katniss Everdeen, who couldn't care less about him or any other boy for that matter.

Delly Cartwright was nice enough to get most of the people around the District to love her within minutes. She was sweet, honest, and always found some way to compliment even the most non-worthy of recipients… But she was also becoming more beautiful every year, and every year more boys tried to convince her that she was perfect, that she needed to be his girlfriend, and most importantly that she needed to allow him to touch her breasts. She laughed off every single one of them. She didn't think about them like that. Delly only had eyes for one person, though she would never admit it. She'd loved the same man as long as Peeta had loved Katniss… Forever.

Madge Undersee should have been the favorite of every young man in the District. She was demure, naturally beautiful, came from money, and never liked to argue. She should have been the most popular girl in school, the one all the boys wanted to date. But she wasn't. And she understood why. In order for anyone to stay alive in Twelve, you had to break a few rules… No one wanted the mayor's daughter to find out their secrets and out them for their follies. So instead of being popular, Madge sat on the ground outside during lunch and on the floor of the main room at the schoolhouse when it wasn't warm or dry enough to eat outside. Eventually, she joined Katniss. Katniss let her.

Madge isn't so bad, she thought to herself one day as they ate in silence on the floor, just off to the side of the doorway. She's quiet, she never says anything mean about anybody else, and she knows I break all the rules and she hasn't told on me yet… To Katniss, that was really all that mattered in order for someone to be her friend. She didn't have time for the chatty, backstabbing kind of "friends" everyone else seemed so fond of.

Madge knows her better than me so maybe… he chewed on his thumbnail until the part of his finger beneath the nail hurt, maybe she can help me. He chewed listlessly on the stale little bun his mother had allowed each of her sons to grab on their way off to school. It was sourdough. He hated sourdough. But at least it wasn't as bad stale as some of the other breads were. He wondered for a fleeting moment what Katniss Everdeen's favorite bread was.

The Reaping came and went when she was twelve. It did the same when she was thirteen and fourteen. When she was fifteen, though, she started to worry. There were so many ways that the ritual could hurt her Little Duck. If Katniss were chosen, who would keep Prim fed? Who would make sure she went to school every day without fail so she could graduate? Who would make sure they had all the things they needed to survive the winter's chill? Katniss asked Gale the next day. He agreed to care for Prim if Katniss were chosen. She agreed to care for his family if he were chosen. They were friends for this reason – they worked as a team, even in hypothetical situations, so that neither had so much to worry about.

That didn't stop either of them from worrying, of course… but it was worth a shot, right?

When Prim's first Reaping came around, Katniss felt sicker than she had at her own. She didn't know what she would do without her baby sister. She didn't know what she would do if her baby sister was picked. She took out all the tesserae that year, even though Prim could technically take them out as well. She didn't allow it. She would never be entered into that glass bowl more than she had to be.

It didn't matter in the end. One is more than enough.

Peeta wasn't sure whether he'd rather be sick or just die. Either sounded dreadful, but nothing could be worse than not being able to rewind time and convince the Capitol to only allow boys to go into the Arena. If he could've done that, albeit some sixty years before he was even born, Prim would have never been picked from that glass orb. And if Prim had never been picked, Katniss would never have been the one to volunteer to take her place. And if Katniss had never volunteered, she'd never have to go into that damned Arena in the first place. It all really just boiled down to him wishing he could reverse time and stop the Capitol and the Districts from going to war against one another in the first place. Instead, he'd have to watch as the girl he loved went to die in the –

"Peeta Mellark!" trilled over the speakers set up in the square.

For a moment, he was worried his teacher had caught him not paying attention. But it didn't take long for him to remember where he was and what had just happened. And now, he was being ushered up to stand by Katniss… told to shake her hand.

He nearly fainted at the feel of her hand sandwiched beside his during that handshake. He wished more than anything he could rewind time sixty some years… but then backtracked and was grateful that if he was going to die soon, at least he'd gotten to touch her at least once… That was going to have to be good enough…

Peeta had obviously been crying when Effie ushered them out of the Justice Building. That was obvious. Even she, most emotionally unconnected person in all history could tell that he had puffy eyes and red marks all over his pale face. She hated him for being weak enough to cry. But she also wondered if he would be strong enough to be a threat to her in the Games. Chances were, he had never hurt anything or anyone in his life, not seriously anyways, and the odds were by far in her favor if they were up against one another… So why did she care that he was upset at all?

By the time they came back from the first Arena, she was convinced she hated Peeta Mellark more than she had ever hated anyone. More than she hated President Snow and all those idiots in the Capitol, even. He wasn't a bad guy like she had wanted him to be – he'd be easier to take down if she didn't have to feel bad about it later – but he was very possibly as angelic as Prim herself. No one could have been a worse person to be stuck with forever as a fellow Victor than Peeta Mellark. She'd rather spend her life with a sober and spiteful Haymitch Abernathy than try to deal with Peeta's goodness for the rest of time. Everything good about him reminded her of everything bad about herself. She hated him.

But she didn't tell him to leave her alone, either. He left her alone all on his own and of his own accord. She hated him for that too.

Peeta Mellark was suddenly every young girl in Panem's favorite subject for a good month after the Games. He was strong; he was kind and thoughtful; he was romantic; and he was – above all else – "sexy".

He laughed when Portia called him "sexy" during his fitting before the interviews with Caesar Flickerman pre-Games.

He laughed when the other Tributes called him "Lover Boy" during the Games.

He didn't laugh when Katniss said he didn't have much competition anywhere… He realized now, as the train taking them back to the Capitol for another Games left the District, that he should have laughed hardest when she said that…

Snuggled up next to the girl you love should be comforting. But knowing that this girl not only doesn't love you back, but also lied to you and made you look like a fool in front of the whole world is not comforting. Knowing that she has someone special to go home to and you have no one is not comforting.

Realizing that for the next few days you can kiss her all you want… That is not comforting either.

A baby?! Her, pregnant?! If she hadn't been so shocked and upset about this second round in the Games, she would have laughed. She wanted nothing to do with babies unless she somehow made it out alive and got home to Prim (who was more than welcome to do as she wished in the future, albeit the possibility of losing even children not her own to the Capitol's games was not appealing… Prim would be a wonderful mother…)

The force-field shattered, like she knew it could, but in a way so intense she had never dreamed it could actually work.

As the hovercrafts lifted her away from the remains of the Arena, she managed a fleeting thought about Peeta… Hopefully if I die, he doesn't end up killing himself.

The pain was excruciating, of course, but the real pain wasn't physical… it was mental. And Coriolanus Snow knew that better than anyone. He certainly hadn't become President of Panem by being honest and sincere… He'd earned his place in the society he coveted and he knew better than anyone that it wouldn't take much to turn that society against the Girl on Fire.

He used Peeta Mellark. Poor, sweet, innocent, naïve, hopeless Peeta Mellark. Snow hated a lot of people, but he hated Peeta Mellark more than most – and he knew just how dangerous Peeta's sharp wit and tongue could be if aimed at himself or the Capitol… So he'd have to change that a bit...

Peeta Mellark came in only second to the brat the rebels felt could change the world. He would be sure that the mental pain that the Everdeen girl felt was worse than any of the physical pain Peeta Mellark would endure.

The boy was nearly ready to be sent back out… To go to the rebels… To kill the girl he had once loved.

Snow sneered and chuckled low in his throat before telling the scientists in the room to be sure not an ounce of love remained in Peeta Mellark towards Katniss Everdeen. At just the name, his creation of malice in the boy took over and Peeta lunged up and screamed about "getting revenge on the mutt" and "killing that bitch".

It would seem that his work was done. Snow left the room for good.

He's back, she thought giddily as she zoomed down the hallways, dodging anyone who cropped up along the way.

He's back, she nearly jumped for joy when she came to his hospital room.

He's not back, she sulked after his hands had been forced off her throat. That's not my Boy with the Bread… Katniss threw up as soon as she was alone… Sadly enough, the vomited contents of her stomach looked almost the same as they had when she'd eaten them earlier...

She spent the next four days hiding in her secret closet and crying until she had no tears left. She sobbed until her voice was hoarse and until she couldn't breathe. She rubbed at her eyes until she felt they might fall out of her skull. Then she went back out and faced him again. She didn't let herself cry this time.

But she wanted to.

When she kissed him, he stopped trying to kill her.

When she kissed him, he stopped wanting to slit her throat from ear to ear.

When she kissed him, it was because he'd unwittingly killed one of his own comrades. He saw as much on the video feed on that news feed that played while they were hiding in that Capitol house…

He hated himself.

By the time they were nearly to Snow's mansion, he was begging her to kill him. He wasn't making much sense, but then, he hadn't made sense in quite some time…

By the time she shot and killed Coin, he wasn't making sense either… He must have been confused… She'd tried to kill herself with that damn pill and he'd reached out to stop her. He'd stopped her from doing what he had wanted to do for months.

He's crazy, she thought disdainfully as she kicked at the wall in her cell awaiting trial. He's just waiting to do it himself, she determined.

She startled awake to the sound of the shovel outside her window. When she saw him out there, she damn near peed her pants (or she would have if she'd been wearing any). Her Boy with the Bread was outside, covered in dirt up to his elbows, planting scraggly looking bushes along the side of her house. After a trip out her front door that ended moments later when she slammed the door closed again, she cried for another two days.

Finally, Greasy Sae literally dragged her into the shower, turned on the water, and started covering her in soaps and lotions. After about an hour – it took longer than anyone would have liked because she had refused to cooperate and do as told – she was dried off, dressed, and her hair (what little the fire had left behind) was pulled away from her face.

That ordeal was over; for now, at least.

After that first shower Sae forced her into, she'd been trying to keep clean… Peeta said she looked nice when she came down for breakfast the next morning, having been invited himself by Sae… Sae's granddaughter clearly adored him. He didn't treat her like she was slow the way everyone else did. Katniss had to smile at that.

Each morning, Sae stopped at Peeta's house a few doors down to ask him to breakfast that morning, and every day, he came. She grew used to him being there in the morning… Began to associate his presence with the smell of fresh baked bread he brought and the eggs Sae cooked nearly every day…

Which is why it felt so wrong the day he didn't show up to breakfast.

Sae said he'd told her he wasn't feeling well and didn't want anyone else to catch whatever he had… But Katniss' only thought before she rushed out of her house, without shoes and in only a flimsy nightshirt, was that he was in trouble. He needed her.

He didn't need her. Not really. He actually told her to leave, but when she spitefully asked him what his problem was, he hissed at her to get out before he hurt her. After that, she stayed. Not because she felt she needed to…Just because she wanted to. Her Boy was in pain… She'd stay with him and they could hurt together.

For months after his episode, he was careful around her, never too close or too far from a third person, almost like he kept that third person around as a safety blanket for her… Some stupid way to protect her from himself, perhaps.

Almost a year after her Little Duck's life had tragically ended, she received a letter, the sender unlabeled of course, saying she was expected to attend the anniversary celebration of the official end of the rebellion. She broke down in tears and curled herself up into as small a ball as she possibly could; and that's how Peeta found her when he came for breakfast the next day, still on the floor in a position he thought looked so uncomfortable he'd never have been able to hold it for more than a quarter of an hour.

Neither of them left the house that day, and neither of them went to the celebration. For them, there was nothing to celebrate, only things to mourn.

Doctor Aurelias showed up on her front step one day. She wasn't pleased. Peeta was going back to the Capitol for a week or two for some new prosthetic seeing as he'd outgrown the current model… The doctor asked her if she wanted to come along, and when she snorted that she isn't allowed outside of Twelve, he held up a stiff piece of paper stating that she was allowed to accompany Peeta or Haymitch to the Capitol on one occasion every six months and that Aurelias himself must also escort her.

She didn't want to agree.

Peeta begged her not to make him go alone.

She gave in. She went back there to that hellhole she said she'd never have to see again, to that place that reminded her of everything she'd lost… To the place that made her realize she loved the Boy with the Bread.

HEY EVERYONE! THANKS FOR GIVING THIS A SHOT! I WAS TRYING SOMETHING NEW BUT I'M NOT SURE WHETHER OR NOT IT IS WORTH CONTINUING... LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK... I WANTED TO GET TO A CERTAIN POINT BEFORE STOPPING, BUT THEN I JUST KEPT GOING AND GOING AND GOING... ANYWAYS, I HOPE IT WAS OKAY. I'VE GOT OTHER STORIES ON THE WAY, SO KEEP YOUR EYE OUT FOR THE NEW STUFF - IT ACTUALLY INVOLVES A PLOT AND A STORYLINE AND HAS CHARACTERS SPEAKING, LIKE WITH QUOTES AND EVERYTHING - IMAGINE THAT, RIGHT?! :D

THANKS AGAIN, EVERYONE!

ANEUPERT