legend of zelda:the end that never was
chapter 1
hello my name is brucland drakmore. I am the greatest warrior of all time he is an asgaurdian but not just any asgaurdian his father was thor and his mother was sif long ago the evil gannon banished me into the shadowrelm. with his milinemum triforce. for centuries i waited for someone to rescue me and that when... all of the sudden my crystal prison was undone and i found myself once again in the knindom of hylul. What happened said zelda? I dont no said link hey baby how bout a kiss. link pukered up his lips. no link no exclaimed zelda. hmmmm said link exxccuuuuusssseee me princess retorted link. greetings said brucland. I am brucland son of thor and vanquisher of evil thank you for freeing me. how were you traped in that crystal asked zelda. an evil wizzard named gannon banininished me there were i was trapped in shadow for centuries. thank you for fleeing me from da spell is ther any thing i can help you w/ yes there is sed zelda you can help us fight gannon and recover the 2nd triforce. very well fair lady i will vanquish the dredd gannon and save the land. excellent but let us retire to my castle sed zelda we must re grip r feces said zelda. i agree sed brucleand we must redy r rmys at once.
chapter 2
as the trio traveled to zeldas castle brucland told stories of his heroic exploits such as feling frost giansts and beating up the midgard serpent. it was obvious zelda had the hots for brucland much to links anger. why wont zelda like me link thought to him self. it seems like no matter what i do i can never get her attention. why cant i be cool muscular tall good looking brave resourcefull smart and heroic. its not fair its just not fair. if only i could do somthing to make my self look like a hero then maybe zelda whould lik me. ya i know what ill do yes its perfect link smiled. when they got to the castle zelda explained that there are 2 triforces in the kingdom of hyrule and whoever gets both of them will have to power to rule the land. Bruceland proclaims aw so there are only two excellent then all we have to do is defeat this gannon fellow and well have saved the land i commend the fair lady zelda for having already having gained one of the triforces, zelda blushed. link made an angry face.
chapter 3
bruland was ploishing his hammer mloijir it was a gift from his father and his favorite weapon. he then flew around high rule to make sure gannon wasnt trying to attak when he suddenly herd link fighting moblins with his sword brucland cast a spell that would work kinda like a video camera it is kinda a heard spell to master but bruceland mastered it in only a day cuz hes a god and can do that much to the shock of all hyrulians and recorded links fight. why asked one of the moblins you promised to give us the tryfoce kink. ahahah laughed link i lied to so i could look like a hero said link now zelda will totally sleep with me said link as he killed the last moblin. brucland scowled. link said to the princess zelda zelda i saved the triforce from a bunch of moblins. thats excellent said zelda way to go link. halt mortal said brucland as he held up his hand at link. explain this as brucland cast a spell showing what had transpired. no no said link i can explain. gaurds said selda take link to the dungeon and lock him up. brucland you bastard ill kill you for that youll all pay ill burn hyrule to the ground screamed link.
chapter 4
brucland aplogized to the princess for links behavior and explained how incompotent link has always been and always expected him to do somthing like this. she also explained how she does all the work and how all link ever does is horn in on her and say excuse me princess and how shes finally glad she has a real man she can rely on. suddenlty she started making out with bruclanf and he took of her robes and he took off his armor and they did it for the first time. minwhile link had broken out of the dungeon and had sneaked bake to zeldas room to kill her and brucland he put his ear to the door and heard zelda screaming oh brucland oh brucland oh brucland ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . that was the best sex id ever had brucland sed zelda. suddenly... link burst thro the droor with a sword and screamed you fucking bitch all kill you both. brucland leaped to his feat and bitch slaped link in to a wall with the back of his hand and screamed have at ye mortal. bruclanded grabed links sword by the blade which didnt cut him cuz hes a god and snaped the blade in half. he then graped like by thj neck aand hurled hum into...the lost woods1111111111111?
chapter 5
the next day after more viggorian sex the couple (zelda and brucland) pllaned their final assault on gannons forterest. he spook in front of all the kinds solders and gave a railling speach about how we will stop gannon once and for all and riclam da tryforst. but wait sed zelda if we attack gannon he cod stel the other triforce wehn we are away at his base away from us. then its simple sed brucland we must take the triforce with us and i c no won worthy to weld it but fair zelda. brilliant sed zelda. brucland alswo proclamed that the king must accompay his troops to the assault to help inspire them and with that they loaded up theyre arms and ther ther wepons ther solders and men and prepared tp assult gannons fortrees
chapter 6
the next day the army attacked gannons castle the troops marched under ground they sent theyre moblins but they were no match for hyrules infantry men for you see they hand swords that were forged with bruclands hammer hence the swords were enchanted and cut thro the mobils with butter. then came the stafos knigths but the skelotons were no match for the hyrulians. they still had theyr battereing ramz that knock down the fortress warrs and brok the skelotons apart. however...in the heat of battle the king was hit by a stafos arrow and died nioooooooo sed zelda . and she marched away from him bak to battle.
chapter 7
they continuefd threu fanons base unitl they reached the floor that cantained his throne room but although they saw the door to his thorne room they saw a single aman broking the door it was...link1111111111 link you betrayed us shoted zelda. hahahah link laffed ganon has promised me power and a place in his new world order if i serve him he has made me stronger them ever i will kill you all. link den shot lighting out of his hands and many solders died but zelda draped a crossbow and shot link in the head killing him. then brucland puched thro the reinforced door wich he bunched whith his bear hands. and sad nock nock ganon. brucland thro his hammer at gannon nocking him down and summoned his hamer baak and shot thunder at gannon he then took gannon an thro he thro the magic glass bowl killing him and stoping him and anyone else from being able to kake more monsters forver.
chapter 8
its over sed brucland the triforces r rs and and gannon is fed. peace and prosparity well rain 4ever mor. with the king ded brucland married zelda and became the new king of hyrule. he then thor big party and celebrated the end of evil. some of the mosters survived and had become friendly now that gannon was ded there was fun there was food there was relief. and in the end bravery was reweired princesses were wed and evil dies and they lived hapilt ever after then end.