A/N: This is just a plain ol' nonsensical story... don't take it seriously, really.

Disclaimer: I have disclaimed Bleach.

Special

Karin grinned evilly, a plan stirring up in her head. "Well, if you feel that bad about forgetting his birthday, why don't you do something to make him feel special?" she said, not looking away from her game.

Rukia put a finger to her chin and looked up, acting similar to how Orihime acted when she thought. She sat cross legged on the couch behind Karin, still in spirit form. "Special… hm, what would you define as something 'special?'"

The younger girl shrugged, "I dunno? Maybe something you can do to- for him that you haven't done to- for anyone but him?" she said, laughing silently at her slip ups, forgetting Rukia was mentally innocent. Silently cheering when she beat the level in her game, she paused and turned her body, giving the shinigami woman behind her, her full attention.

"Something I haven't done for anyone else?" Rukia ran through her mind, trying to find something she could do. Couldn't she cook him something? No, that wasn't "special" enough. And she couldn't just buy or make him something since that was no different from giving him a belated birthday present because she forgot.

No, she wanted to do something nice as a way to apologize –and so that he would also forget that she forgot his birthday.

"You could try being his maid for a day."

Rukia lifted her brows, "His maid?" she said, crossing her arms, giving it some thought. Well, that, she definitely knew she was never. Rather, she had maids, or servants of her own. Considering the idea, perhaps that could make him feel special since he wasn't a noble, and had never been served by a maid. "That might actually work. Do you think he would be happy?"

Karin grinned, "Very." She mentally burst out laughing, impatient to tell Yuzu her plan. "I think it would be better if you wore a maid outfit," she said, imagining Rukia in a maid café costume, and her brother's face.

"Do you think so?"

"Definitely," if she remembered correctly, Ichigo's friend Keigo often visited maid cafés. If he could get a hold of one, everything would be set into place.

"Don't you think this is a bit… revealing?" Rukia blushed, attempting to pull her skirt down to cover more of her thighs.

Karin gave her a once over, and nodded in approval, "You, my friend, are ready. And this is the most modest one I picked out," she lied. In truth, she asked Keigo to find the shortest, yet still okay-to-be-seen-in-public typical maid café uniform. In exchange, she promised him she'd take a picture… but not without letting her brother know first. "Okay, Ichi-nii is almost home, so make sure you say this exactly when he comes through the door, 'okaerinasai goshujinsama.' It's the ultimate line you can't get wrong."

She knew that in every maid café, that one line was considered "moe" or something like that, and it was sure to tip Ichigo off.

Rukia nodded, unsure if this was appropriate. Exhaling, she put on her most bubbly face, and walked to the door. Both of her hands were held in front of her, fidgeting with her skirt. She was beyond relieved when Karin said she didn't have to wear the garter. That would have been shameful for her as a Kuchiki; she would not have been able to face her Byakuya anymore.

The moment the door opened, she curtsied and put on her cutest "moe" face [as Karin had called it], "Okaerinasai goshujinsama!" she said, mentally stabbing herself.

Ichigo, who had only stepped one foot in, quickly left and closed the door quickly. He blinked, rubbing his eyes, inhaling deeply. After regaining his composure, turned around and opened the door.

This time, Rukia, in her ever so shameful maid outfit was much closer, a creepy fake smile on her face. "Oh-kai-eh-ri, Ichigo-sama."

Gasping, Ichigo jumped away, pressing himself against the door. "Who are you? And what have you done with Rukia?" he asked, only semi-serious. He watched as "Rukia" tilted her head to the side, and looked at him questionably.

"What's wrong, Ichigo-sama?" she asked, blinking her eyes innocently.

He looked at her, and then let his eyes travel downwards to the rest of her sinful outfit. Her shoulders weren't covered, and her skirt ended mid-thigh, and if he looked really hard, he could see a little of her cleavage sticking out from below the fabric covering the front of her body. "What are you wearing?"

"A maid costume. Don't you like it?" said Karin, coming down from the stairs. "Ichigo, meet Rukia, your maid for the day."

Like a gapping fish, he stared between his sister, and the petite shinigami in front of him. "My maid?"

"Well, yeah. I did say maid, didn't I?" she said, crossing her arms. "And just a piece of advice, take advantage of this opportunity because it's exclusive for only today," she winked, innocently walking away to continue playing her video game.

Ichigo glared at the devil's back before bringing his attention to Rukia, who was still making a "moe" face.

"Would you like a drink? Or maybe some food?" Rukia asked politely, her hands behind her back.

"U-uh," he continued to stare at her in disbelief before shaking his head, "Could I get a glass of water?" he said at last, deciding not to question the situation any further to possibly prevent a future migraine.

Nodding, she left to the kitchen, leaving him to walk over to the couch. He plopped down and casually put his feet up on the coffee table, watching Karin as she played her video game. "Here you go, Ichigo-sama," his "maid" returned with his glass of water, which he took gratefully.

"Thanks," he said, beginning to drink. The moment he felt his shoulders begin to get massaged, he froze in his spot, and slowly lowered his cup. "Um… Rukia? What are you doing?"

"Giving you a massage, of course. You must be tired from all of today's work," she said, her hands moving ever so fervently. "It is only natural for a maid to give her master a massage," or at least that's what Karin said.

"Oh… okay, then," he reluctantly allowed her to continue massaging his shoulders, despite how awkward it was.

"Your muscles are so tense," she said, her hands still working their magic.

"Right," or maybe his whole body was just tense from her touching him so… enthusiastically. "You know, you're actually pretty good at this."

Rukia lifted a brow, the side of her mouth twitching upwards, "Am I, Ichigo-sama? Shall I work wonders elsewhere?"

Even though she hadn't meant it to sound perverted, he couldn't help blush. "Uh…"

Karin, who was left forgotten by the two, scrunched her nose in disgust, feeling like she was listening to a porno.

"Or would you like me to prepare your shower?"

For some reason, the image of her waiting outside his shower while he showered to hand him his towel entered his head. And that would mean she would be… in the bathroom while he showered naked and would be waiting outside to hand him his towel while he was butt naked. "N-nah, that's okay. You can just continue… massaging my shoulders."

"If that's what you wish, Ichigo-sama," every time she said his name like that, he couldn't help by inwardly cringe.

As for Rukia, she didn't mind massaging him. She kind of liked it. He definitely had muscle, and it took everything for her not to run her hands all over his body, specifically his pectorals and abs. Yes, she admitted, she liked muscles… and abs… but it was normal for all females! So it's wasn't anything to be ashamed of!

Concentrating too hard on not feeling him up, she unknowingly began to massage him with much more strength, squeezing him rather than massaging.

"Rukia! Too hard," he said, turning his head to look at her.

Blinking in surprise, she stopped her hands, "Oh, sorry. Anyways, is there anything else you would like to do?" she said, quickly pulling her hands away from his skin.

Ichigo shrugged and got up, heading towards the stairs to his room, "I think I'll just take a nap."

"Okay," she said, her face brightening up. "I'll prepare your bed," she said, moving at the speed of light to his room. She grabbed his pillow and began to fluff it up, dropping it neatly on the bed once she was satisfied that it was worthy for her "master."

"Uh, thanks," he said, waiting for her to finish setting up his bed.

After she was done, she allowed him to lie down, tucking him in with his blanket, unaware of the light blush reaching his face. She then proceeded to clean up his room, putting away his textbooks and papers. When she dropped one of his pens, she bent over to innocently pick it up, accidentally flashing her underwear in Ichigo's face.

Blushing profusely, he turned away sharply, "Rukia! Don't do that ever again," he said, looking up at the ceiling, his face beet red.

She lifted one of her eyebrows, crossing her arms, "What did I do?"

"Just… don't bend over again," he said, refusing to look her in the eye after seeing the lacy crossover with chappy.

This time, Rukia blushed, "Oh…," she muttered, turning away and continuing with her cleaning, trying not to show that it bothered her.

"And just wondering, what cause you to do this anyways?" asked Ichigo, trying to change the subject, noticing Rukia's discomfort.

She groaned, "Well… I asked Karin what I could do to make you happy, and she told me to be your maid for a day," she said, embarrassed. "I didn't want to do it, but she said it was 'special.'"

"Special? And why would you want to make me happy?" he sat up, curious to hear her reasoning.

"Well… today is July sixteenth. And… I felt bad because I forgot your birthday was yesterday and Nii-sama had to remind me," there, she told him. Now she was ready for the outburst about how forgettable and selfish she was.

However, that outburst never came. "Oh, right, my birthday was yesterday. I already forgot," he said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

With one of her eyes twitching, she glared daggers at him, "What?! You mean to tell me I stressed over this all night and day because I felt bad, only for you to forget your own damn birthday? You buffoon!" Out of pent up irritation, she flung the pen in her hand at his head, missing him by a hair.

He jumped out of bed, "Rukia, calm down," he said, trying to get her to simmer down.

"I don't think so, Ichigo! I dressed up like a fucking anime maid, and what? It was pointless?" Grabbing three more pens from his desk, she lunged forward with the full intention of stabbing him.

Shit.

Shit.

SHIT.

Sitting up in bed, Ichigo wiped the sweat from his brow, trying to calm his rapid beating heart. What the fuck was that? A nightmare? It really didn't feel like one since Rukia wasn't that scary of a person in general, and maid!Rukia wasn't exactly Aizen. Perhaps it was just a lucid dream?

Looking around his room, he found Rukia's maid clothes laying scattered on the floor, while the shinigami herself was naked under his sheets, much to his relief.

Concluding that his dream was akin to those of visual novel alternate endings, he sighed and laid back down in bed, closing his eyes for a minute. Finally, after another minute or two, he realized that they both, him and Rukia, were butt naked in his bed.

Shit.

Shit.

SHIT.

A/N: How was it? Stupid, right? Haha. You could put this under the, "crappily written, but deceivingly entertaining" category for my fanfics. Pointless would be another member of this category!

Please tell me what you think!