Look! I stopped thinking about Avatar the Last Airbender long enough to write a story!
-silence-
This is the part where you clap and cheer. Anyways, the recent anti-mpreg/marufujicest fics written by Tangerine Goddess have inspired me to write this, so thank you Tangerine Goddess for inspiring me!
Anyways, this is an mpreg that also makes fun of marufujicest and mary sues, so it kinda makes fun of everything, but mostly mpreg. I even make fun of myself! So if you die of laughter, please don't sue me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Gi Oh GX, otherwise the fourth and third seasons would have made sense. Also, this is taking place during the fourth season.
It was a beautiful day at Duel Academy. The birds were singing, the grass was green, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky, the blind could see, cancer was cured, happiness and joy were plastered onto everyone's faces which also included Hell Kaiser's face, and etc., etc. etc. Basically, everything was perfect. There was nothing that could ruin this incredibly perfect day until a plot hole the size of Texas appeared in the sky and from it fell the greatest evil Duel Academy would ever see.
"Ow!" A female voice screamed.
"Aniki, did you hear something?" Sho asked as he and Judai walked past a giant crater that had appeared next to the Osiris Red Dorm.
"Hmm?" The oblivious brunette replied.
"Ah, never mind Aniki." Sho sighed. But then, a short, dark-haired girl crawled out of the crater and stood up. The two teens stared at the harmless-looking girl as began to wipe the dirt off her baggy jeans.
"Are you alright?" A concerned Judai asked, but then the girl turned towards him with an angry glare on her face.
"YOU!!" She screeched as she pointed a finger at him. "WHY AREN'T YOU HAVING PASSIONATE BUTTSEX WITH JOHAN!!"
"What?!" Judai asked.
"AND YOU!!" She bellowed again as she pointed her finger at Sho. "YOU SHOULD BE MAKING OUT WITH RYO!!"
"But . . . but . . . he's my brother!!" Sho whined as he tried to get the horrid image out of his mind.
"So? Love defies the laws of genetics!" The mysterious girl hissed. Her gaze then returned to Judai, who was still confused as to why he needed to have sex with Johan. "YOU! Go have sex with Johan right now so you can get pregnant and have lots of babies! Same for you Sho!"
"We're guys!" The two teens yelled together.
"So? If girls can get pregnant, so can guys. There's no reason why you can't." The girl explained in a logical tone.
"YES THERE IS!!" Suddenly, Misawa (who magically returned from the Dark World before Judai ever did, but the writers didn't feel like mentioning it) and Manjyome appeared in the distance. Misawa was looking at some portable device that resembled a PDA while a grumpy Manjyome trudged behind him.
"Hmm . . . it looks like the source of energy is right around here." Misawa stated as he approached his friends and the strange girl.
"It better be here so I can kick its ass!" Manjyome yelled.
"Um . . . guys, what are you doing here?" Judai asked.
"Well this morning Manjyome here was suffering from a severe stomach ache. I escorted him to the nurse's office and apparently he's pregnant."
"WHAT?!" Judai and Sho yelled as their jaws fell to the ground.
"See, I told ya it could happen." The strange girl remarked as she stuck her tongue out at them.
"The nurse fainted from shock." Misawa continued. "And Manjyome started writing his will because the baby will eventually block up his intestine. Then he realized he could have it surgically removed and forget it ever happened. But as we left the nurse's office, we ran into Hell Kaiser who was complaining about how his life-threatening heart condition had suddenly disappeared and that he was having strange visions of him and Sho having sex. Then we ran into Johan, who had started to actually act like a man for once. He's even lost the frilly blue shirt!"
"Yeah, because he said he's too sexy to wear one and he wouldn't shut up about wanting to ram you into the bed." Manjyome added on.
"So after witnessing Johan's sudden personality change, we concluded that fan fiction has interfered with our world once again, only this time it's worse then Mary Sues."
"Then what is it? Because I didn't think anything could beat the destruction Mary Sues caused." Judai asked.
"It's her!" Misawa declared as he pointed at the mysterious girl. "She is the one giving off energy that is breaking all things logical and canon!! She is . . . a Rabid Yaoi Fangirl Who Has Dismissed The Rules Of Biology And Canon!"
"Yep, that's me!" The RYFWHDTROBAC happily declared. "And now you will all become pregnant and have poorly written passionate buttsex all the time!!" She declared as her eyes turned blood-red.
"NOOO!!" All of them screamed.
"Wait, we can fight back, with logic!!" Misawa declared as a biology text book magically materialized in his hands. He then flipped through it until he found a diagram of the reproductive systems of men and women, and then shoved it into the RYFWHDTROBAC's face.
"SEE!" Misawa declared. "This is why men can never get pregnant! We don't have a uterus to carry the baby in! Only women do! We don't even have a vagina for the baby to come out of! Men only produce sperm, they don't produce eggs! That's what women do! If men did produce eggs, they'd be having periods too!!"
"Who cares about logic?! This is fan fiction, I can do whatever the hell I want so shut the fuck up and leave me alone! Besides, a man can get pregnant like this!" She declared as she waved her fingers around and Sho suddenly became nine months pregnant.
"Ah! Aniki my body's defying biology!!" Sho cried as he tried to hide his large belly.
"Don't panic, maybe it'll go away cause you're a guy." Judai said in an effort to calm the weeping bluenette down.
"But what if I go into labor?!"
"You can't, you're a guy! It doesn't have anywhere to come out anyways!"
"What are you talking about? It comes out his butt! That's why mpreg can happen!" The RYFWHDTROBAC replied. "Or his mouth, depends on how you did it."
"WHAT?!" Everyone screamed.
"Do you do any research before you write about this stuff?!" Misawa asked.
"Why should I when I've got friends? And don't worry about having to go to the bathroom, because it's in your rib cage."
"WHAT?! But then I should be suffoc-Aggh! Aniki . . . can't breathe . . .hel-" Poor Sho cried as he fell to the ground dead.
"You killed Sho?! How dare you!! Now you face the powers of Haou and Yubel!!" Judai screamed as his eyes began to alternate between Yubel and Haous' eyes. A dark aurora appeared around his body and he charged at the RYFWHDTROBAC, intending to use every ounce of Haou and Yubels' power on her, but then he bounced off an invisible barrier that surrounded her.
"What just happened?" Manjyome asked.
"It appears logic won't work on her because she doesn't have a brain and Yubel and Haou won't work on her because there's a barrier around her that reflects all things that are canonical." Misawa replied as Judai crawled over to them.
"Guys, what are we gonna do now?" Judai asked.
"Hmmm . . . gentlemen, we shall now . . . RETREAT! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!" Misawa screamed as he briefly became OOC. Strangely, everyone agreed to this and promptly fled to Misawa's room, the only place that couldn't be touched by fanfiction.
"So what we do now?" Judai asked. Suddenly, the door was kicked down by a shirtless Johan.
"Judai! Come with me and have sex right now!" Johan declared as he walked over and slung Judai over his shoulder.
"What that hell's gotten into you?! I-" But as soon as they stepped out into the hallway, the look on Judai's face changed. "OMG i thawt iwas gonna be rapd bcuz I cnt tak car of myselh, thnk u 4 saving me Johan! BTW, I love u and I wanna have ur babies. Lets have sex rite heer in the hllwy!" An OOC Judai blurted out as he was carried away by an OOC Johan.
"What the hell just happened?" A wide-eyed Manjyome asked.
"Judai's been infected with OOCness by the RYFWHDTROBAC." Misawa replied.
"But why did he butcher the English Language?"
"Most RYFWHDTROBAC's are fourteen or younger. They are ignorant to English and also have no knowledge of spell check, or at least that's what I think."
"Help me!!" A voice screamed causing the two teens to jump. Suddenly, Hell Kaiser burst through the window and toppled to floor groaning in pain as he placed his hand over his chest. "Yes! It's back!" He declared happily, but then groaned in pain again.
"You mean you wanted your heart condition back?" A curious Manjyome asked.
"Yes! I'd rather have that than sexual thoughts about my little brother and acting bipolar!" Hell Kaiser declared as he stood up and wiped the glass shards off his black trenchcoat. "By the way, why is your room the only place on the goddamn island other then the volcano that is OOC-proof?"
"Because the writers of the show didn't care about me enough, which resulted in me being fairly unpopular. But it's not entirely OOC-proof, for OOCness can get in, but it can't infect anyone in it unless they are dragged outside, like poor Judai was five seconds ago." Misawa calmly explain as he turned on his TV set to the news.
"In today's news, professional duelist Edo Phoenix passed away today under mysterious circumstances." The announcer stated in a mournful tone. "His manager, Saiou, reported that the duelist had been complaining about stomach pains earlier today. When he was in the bathroom for longer then twenty minutes, Saiou stated that he was becoming concerned so he went inside to see if Edo was alright. Inside he found Edo unconscious and his abdomen had somehow swelled to the size of a nine-month pregnant woman. He was rushed to the hospital immediately, but died before they could even take x-rays. An autopsy was done soon afterwards where they found a dead human baby inside his intestine. Doctors have no idea how it got there, but they believe that this baby is the cause of the young duelist's death because it was blocking his intestine."
"IT KILLED EDO?!" Manjyome screamed in shock. "MISAWA, DO SOMETHING BEFORE THIS ABOMINATION INSIDE ME KILLS ME!!" Manjyome continued as he grabbed Misawa by his shirt collar and pulled him to his face. "DO SOMETHING NOW!!" He screamed into the young genius's face.
"I'm trying, but this isn't the same as a Mary Sue. RYFWHDTROBAC's have an alibi, even though it's a rather pathetic one. I don't even think it counts as an alibi anyways. And they're fifty times more stubborn then a Sue too, which is why just one is enough to throw everything into OOCness."
"Alibi? You mean the whole 'It's FANfiction, so I can do whatever I want!' alibi? That one is pathetic. It doesn't deserve to be called an alibi" Hell Kaiser growled. "What happened to the Mary Sues anyways?"
"We put them in rehab. Wait a second, that's it! We get the Mary Sues to destroy it!" Misawa happily declared. "They're just as illogical and uncanonical as RYFWHDTROBAC's! A whole army of them should be able to take it down!"
"A whole army? Um . . . Misawa, I don't know about you, but I don't want those things to come back here ever again. They wouldn't stop trying to rape me." Ryo protested. "And they took forever to get rid of."
"Plus, I went to see how they were doing in rehab the other day, and they didn't look too good." Manjyome added as he shuddered at the thought of the other day.
"WHY CAN'T I HAVE SEX WITH 'JESSE'-KUN?!"A blonde sue named Uber-Sparkly-Poof screamed at the therapist as her body became surrounded by sparkles and butterflies. She was the latest arrival at the MS REHAB CENTER and Manjyome had stopped by to check on her and the rest of the MSs' progress. After all, it was his family who had built the place in the first place because of the numerous Sues that had raped Manjyome during his first year at Duel Academy.
Manjyom let out a heavy sigh and shook his head as he walked past the glass window. He continued down the hall way and looked into another room through a glass window where a Sue and her author both sat on long couches while a psychologist sat a foot away from them in a big, comfy red chair.
"So Miss um . . . your name's awfully long, so I'm just going to call you Tarod. Now Miss Tarod, please tell me about the creation of your Sue Jennie again?" The psychologist asked.
"Well, I was fourteen and I had seen the ad for the show on TV and I thought Sy-I mean Sho looked so cute! And after watching the first episode I got an idea for a character in my head. So after watching it for one or two weeks I wrote it down, but there wasn't a GX section at the time so I put it in the Yu Gi Oh section, but then I moved it and-"
"I know that already, but what was going on in your head at the time you wrote the first chapter?"
"Well, I thought it was a great idea because I didn't think anyone else had done it yet and I had only seen Sho paired up with guys and I didn't like yaoi at the time, so I paired him up with my Sue."
"Okay, now tell me why you continue to write about your Sue even though you know more about the canon now?"
"Well, I guess cause it's fun. But I try to keep it more in canon and I've tried to tone her down a bit. But I still feel guilty about creating one. Maybe I feel guilty cause I gag at my writing whenever I read my old stuff from three or two years ago. I still gag at my current writing. It's so inferior! IT DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE LOOKED AT!!" The authoress cried.
"Now Miss Tarod, you're better then you think, you just-"
"QUIT TALKING TO ME! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M UNWORTHY TO BE TALKED TOO?! WAAAHH!!" The authoress wailed as waterfalls of tears sprung from her eyes. The psychologist sighed as she shook her head and then turned towards the Sue.
"So, Jennie is it? How do you feel about being called a Mary Sue by your own author?"
"Um . . . I don't really care. I just want to her to update her story. WHICH YOU HAVEN'T DONE IN OVER A MONTH YOU LAZY FREAK!!" The Sue screeched at her author.
"I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH AVATAAARRR!!" The authoress wailed as she buried her head into a pillow.
"Okay, anyways do you feel like a Mary Sue Jennie?" The bewildered psychologist continued.
"Um . . . I guess so since I special powers and crap like that. But I'm not ultra-pretty, well at least I don't think I am. Wait, does that mean I'm ugly?! I don't wanna be ugly, I wanna be normal looking! Anyways, can you tell my author to stop writing humor and thinking about Avatar crap and get back to her story? I'm sick of waiting for an update."
"You seem to have update issues."
"Because she used to update every week! But now she's only updated only two or three times in the past four months! She had summer vacation and what did she do?! Watch the Avatar series finale a billion times and other stupid crap!"
"Now Jennie, you should know that the world doesn't revolve around you and-"
"SHUT UP BITCH!!" The Sue screeched as she picked up the chair and threw it at the psychologist while the authoress continued to weep about her 'pathetic writing skills' and her 'unworthiness in the eyes of the writing gods'.
"At least they're getting somewhere with those two." Manjyome sighed as he walked away from the room. He looked into the next window and saw a Goth Sue who had been placed into solitary confinement because she kept attempting to commit suicide because 'Dark Zane' didn't love her. Even now he could hear the Sue muttering about her 'one true love' and how they were meant to 'be together forever in a Gothic paradise'. Manjyome sighed and continued his walk, ignoring the Sues he passed who cried out his name.
"So they're still a mess?" Misawa asked when the flashback ended.
"Yep, or their author's are a mess. Either way, they're not ready to be brought back here." Manjyome stated. Suddenly, the door (which had been fixed during the flashback by Hell Kaiser) was broken down by a kick and the RYFWHDTROBAC entered the room.
"YOU!! HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME AND THE LAWS OF FANFICTION!!" She screamed.
"You know, you're alibi's pretty pathetic because you're just relying on that one term while we rely on evidence and-" Hell Kaiser started.
"Shut the fuck up bitch! If you don't like it then don't read it! I can do whatever I want and right now you need to have sex with Sho and get him pregnant again!"
"He's my brother and incest is illegal. Male pregnancy can't happen and because you made him pregnant earlier today, he's dead."
"Nuh unh! I brought him back! He's waiting outside to have sex with you and hoping you'll marry him."
"What?! But we can't get married! We're brothers! And even if we weren't related, gay marriage is only legal in the U.S. state California and a few other countries!!" Hell Kaiser screamed at the RYFWHDTROBAC.
"You know what you need?! You need to think about having sex with Sho, or I'll kill you!" She hissed as she waved her fingers again, but this time nothing happened. "What the hell's going on?!"
"You're in my room, and in my room people can't be infected with OOCness." Misawa stated. "So your powers are useless here!"
"What?! Nooo! If I don't spread OOCness, I'll-"
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!
As the smoke cleared away, only a pile of dust remained where the RYFWHDTROBAC had once stood. The three teens stared at the pile of dust for a few moments before it dawned on them.
"Not spreading OOCness makes them explode? Why didn't we think of that sooner?!" Manjyome whined.
"I guess because I always assumed logic would work, but after seeing this, I am convinced they're not human." Misawa stated as he sat on his knees before the pile of dust.
"So rehab wouldn't work on them?" Hell Kaiser asked.
"Nope, as I said before, they're too stubborn for that kind of thing. But I don't want to drag them into my room every time one appears and make her attempt to spread her OOCness. People will start to say things. Any suggestions?"
"Hmm . . ." Was the only response he received, which was from Manjyome who was completely lost in thought.
Four months later scientists hired by Manjyome's family found a way to replicate the OOCness-proof effects in Misawa's room. They then proceeded to build a building with those effects for the purpose of destroying RYFWHDTROBACs and succeeded. And everyone lived happily ever after, or so they thought.
The Twilight Zone theme music starts playing as the camera zooms in on a bush. And in that bush a pair of vicious red eyes that belong to a Gary Stu appear. The Gary Stu starts laughing maniacally as the camera pulls away.
Fin
Well, what did you guys think? I know there probably wasn't as much humor as my other parodies, but I was kinda in a rush since it's a school night for me and I knew I wouldn't be able to work on it all week because of homework.
And yes, that was me as the authoress in rehab seeing the psychologist and Jennie is a real mary-sue-in-rehab who I still write about. Why? I have no idea, I guess I just like the story line I thought for her and I feel like I have toned her down a bit. Plus, people would kill me if I stopped writing it. And it's kinda fun too.
Also, I actually have a seen a fic (two to be precise) where the baby was in the rib cage. And then I heard about an author who thought that the baby would come out of the mouth if it was done orally and anus if done anally.
And I'm sure we've all seen fics where gay guys get married, even though it's illegal in Japan.
Also, should I change the rating to M? I wasn't sure if I should or not. I figured more people would see it if it was T, but it seems to mature for T but too tame for M. Hmm . . .
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this strange parody of mine and I hope to hear you opinions on the subject of mpreg. I am mostly looking forward to possibly hearing the opinions of people who support Mpreg because I'm interested as to why they believe it can happen.