AN - I must say, this is the weirdest thing I've ever posted on FFN. It's basically just me being bored and making fun of Romeo and Juliet and my English homework. I pretty much just wrote my essay and added the stuff in the brackets. If you cut out all the brackets, that's exactly what my essay looks like.

Anyways, back to the more important things.

I DO NOT HATE RXJ. It's my favourite Shakespeare play (I couldn't stop laughing when they pulled out a gun labelled sword in the movie, haha)

This is merely a result of my boredom.

RXJ is set in Verona which is in Italy.

How does Mercutio's death reinforce the nature of the tragedy?

Mercutio's death is the catalyst to a chain of events. His death led to Romeo, who previously tried to placate Tybalt for the sake of Juliet (and his dick. What else does a teenager do with his girlfriend?), to murder Tybalt. Before Mercutio's death, Romeo still offered peace (Prince of Cats want some catnip?), telling him to 'be satisfied (you've eaten twenty-two tins of tuna already!)' even though Tybalt continually reviled him (fuck you!), naming him 'villain' and 'boy' as he was 'deaf to peace' (Put Romeo and Juliet together in a room and there will be no peace and quiet with all that screaming. You'd probably want to be deaf, or at least have a couple of earplugs. Make sure the little ones are clear first though. Don't want any seven year olds asking what 'fuck' means.)'.

The death of their kinsmen inflamed the inveterate enmity between the two households. This fervent rancour is evident when Lady Capulet cries, 'For blood of ours, shed blood of Montague (We are tying to attract the vampires all the way from Volterra cause apparently it's cool to date them now and Jamie Campbell-Bower who plays Caius is hot. I wonder if they can get HIV?),' and vice versa. Their hatred for each other overwhelms Romeo and Juliet's love (lame~).

Whilst Romeo is exiled from Verona (he secretly has covert affairs with random hookers), Juliet is forced to marry Paris. As a final act of desperation to reunite with her love (aka the guy she just met a couple of days ago and decided to marry him the next), Juliet drinks the potion from Friar Lawrence (Severus Snape in disguise). Alas, they were 'star-crossed lovers' (stars are actually pentagrams and not crosses) and committed suicide (because they were blindly in love and could not see that the other was actually alive) after seeing their spouse dead (or supposedly dead in Romeo's case).

The tragedy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is how hatred can destroy even the purest (cliché-est) love. All this melodrama (and corny lines along with torturous English assignments for every single English student in the world for the past three centuries) could have been prevented if the Montagues and the Capulets could just look past their hate (or have killed off each other already!)

I know it's random. But I was so bored. And hey, what better to do than write random comments on your English homework, right?

If you guys absolutely protest against such a thing being online, just PM me or review for this thing to be off and I'll delete it.

The only reason I bothered posting this online was because I was bored and currently high on sugar.

If you DO find it funny however, I've actually written other weird 'spoofs' of random things. I've also done the Balcony scene for school. So if you review me telling me I should post it, sure, that can be the next chapter.

Once again, I WAS REALLY BORED!