Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this FanFiction. The characters belong to the brilliant J. K. Rowling and I had no part in her works. This is purely for fun and not for profit. I would only sell my own works where everything was from my own messed up imagination.

Rating: M

Warnings: SLASH (guy+guy sex), ignored epilogue and major character bashing/OOC, whatever you wanna call it. If anyone thinks of other warnings, please notify me so things that shouldn't be left unsaid, don't go unsaid.

Memories Part 1

"I will forgive you," a sigh of relief escaped his lips at his lover's words, "but I never want to see your face again." Draco fell a few steps back hitting the wall. His chest constricted to the point that breathing was impossible and his heart was ripping to pieces at the words.

If this was said only a few days before, he wouldn't have been able to accept those words but he no longer had that right. If only there was a way to go back in time, to change what happened that night.

"Is there anything, anything I can do, Harry, to keep you by my side? I'm begging you." There was a moment of absolute silence. A pin could have been dropped and in the other room and it still would have been heard. It was to the point that the silence was deafening to Draco and he even opened his mouth a few times trying to break it but never succeeded.

"Nothing. There is nothing you can do." Harry stood from the chair he was sitting on and walked to the door. "You can do what you want with my stuff. Don't you dare try to find me or I will do worse to you than what I did to Voldemort." His last words were punctuated with the sound of the door closing.

The Malfoys was a family that never shown any sign of weakness, but in that moment Draco went against his blood and screamed out his pain as he fell to his knees.

-Five Years Later-

Draco set down the book he was reading and rubbed his eyes. The darkness of the night had long since disappeared and still he could not entirely forget that night five years ago, nor could he ease the pain his heart still held. He thought that eventually it would numb and he would not feel anything, love or hate, but the truth was far from that.

Since that night he hasn't been able to sleep, or at least without nightmares which were worse than the days he spent feeling ready to pass out. If he ate, the food was tasteless and bland. Nothing helped. He felt that must be his punishment for what happened.

The bright sunlight pouring through the window caught his attention and he stood to walk to the largest one. With a flick of his wand, the drapes closed instantly with a snap.

"He was like the sun to me." The simple phrase left his lips as millions of memories surfaced, his mind snagging one of them and it flashed before his eyes.

"Come on Draco! We're going to be late!" Harry said to him in a cheerful but slightly forceful voice while tugging on his arm.

"I'm not ready yet." Draco said back to him pulling his arm out of his grasp.
"You're taking forever and a day!"

"I have to look my best whenever I go out." Harry snorted

"You look the best to me and who really cares what other people think so let's go!" Draco didn't want to tell him that he thought otherwise but finally tore himself from the mirror and looked to the man hooked to his arm and gave him a small smile.

"All right." Harry grinned and Draco allowed himself to be pulled out the door before he shook Harry off his arm. Harry looked at him and pouted.

"I can't hold your hand very well with you holding my arm for dear life," said Draco as he grabbed the hand nearest to him. Harry's smile returned and squeezed the cold hand that held his own.

Life had been nice to him back then or at least he was nice to his life. Harry was his life, even after five years Draco still could not forget the feel of his heart racing in his chest or feel of Harry's mouth against his own. Why he did that to him Draco will never know. That wasn't true, Draco knew the reason, he just wished with everything inside of him, that he never had reason to, logical reason or illogical reason.

Draco rubbed his eyes again hoping that it will not only erase the tiredness but also everything in his mind. Finished with his business in the library, Draco left through the door leading to a long corridor. It only took a moment before he reached the door leading outside to the garden.

The garden looked like it could have been called a jungle of death. Everywhere he looked there was not a trace of life. The plants were a tangled mess of brown sticks with dry crinkled leaves. Five years ago everything was beautiful. There was not a time when none of the plants were in bloom, even in the winter there were a few species sprouting flowers. Five years ago, this garden was at its best, because he had been there for it.

Harry was miles away from being a herbology major but at least he had the right mind to at minimum water the plants and use charms to keep weeds away. After he left, Draco barely stepped foot into it, let alone took care of it. By being so neglected, the garden was overrun by weeds and the plants themselves before the winter snow had wiped them out and all that survive that died from the other poor conditions that were part of England's weather.

Spotting a bench, Draco walked over, dusted it off and took a seat. Already he was worn out. It didn't take much anymore with the lack of sleep and poor diet. It was a miracle he wasn't dead by now. The air was chilly causing Draco rub his arms and he remembered another cold winter day.

"It's so beautiful out here," said Harry amazed at his surroundings. Despite being the beginning of winter, the fall flowers were still in bloom and the winter flowers were just beginning to bud.

"The flowers are nothing in comparison to you," said Draco earning a blush from Harry who instantly hid it by turning away. Draco smirked and hugged him from behind. Harry leaned back into the embrace and reached up behind him to grasp a handful of blond hair.

"Mm you're warm," said Harry. Draco just nuzzled his neck and placed a few feather light kisses from the base leading up to his ear. Harry turned his head giving Draco enough room to pull the lobe into his mouth and suck on it. He nipped at it and rolled it between his teeth before releasing.

"How about we go someplace warmer and do something that will warm both of us up?" Draco asked as he removed one hand from his lover's waist and rubbed from Harry's side to his hip and back up.

"That sounds like a great idea," mumbled Harry and suddenly he was scooped up into Draco's arms, bridal style and carried into one of the bedrooms where they both definitely turned on the heat.

Authors note: Sorry if it's a little confusing! All will be revealed later! Yay! I feel great to be writing fanfiction again! I know I said I would be writing a bunch of other stories like a sequel to Deserving and Wanting and a different story about Draco's and Harry's sons but I got a few paragraphs into them and couldn't write another word. Believe me, I tried to! I sat at the computer for hours just staring at it! So I took a break, started working on other stories and stopped thinking about Harry Potter for a while. I'm really sorry! Lo siento! Gomen! Sorry in any other language! I'm really sorry I had to take such a long break without a single word! Now I'm back in business writing this story! Hope you guys like it! I'm only planning on maybe six chapters and they're pretty short so I apologize for that too! Oh and I didn't know if the herbs class was called "herbology" or something else, so I guessed. Sorry!