Author's note- This is my first fan fic so please like tell whats wrong and whats good, that way I'll get better. Also, only the beginning isn't going to be from Ichigo's POV, the rest of the story will. Scratch that, I have no idea about the rest of the story.

demonalchemist5 beta read this and edited it we're currently editing it so if there are any problems, speak now. lol

Spoiler- If you haven't read up to at least the current Bleach chapter then you'll just need to read it on Wikipedia or somewhere. Otherwise its not that much of a spoiler or I hope its not.

Disclaimer- I think its pretty obvious that I don't own Bleach, Kubo Tite (the rich author in Japan most likely does).

BTW- And this'll won't have anything dirty and naughty (nothing worse then Bleach already is) 'cause I don't like to write that kind of stuff. (makes me feel like a pervert) But there will be some level of it.

Do remember that it's not for the weak hearted and that you've been warned

Enjoy.

"Ichigo." Rukia's hand softly stroked his cheek, blood getting onto his cheek. "No matter what, don't die alone. Live a long life. And don't you ever die alone." He cried, unable to watch his friend, someone he loved, about to die. "The others and I will live on through you, so we're not really dying, just going away." She explained, tears running down her face as she tried to hold onto this world. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, but at that moment, none of it seemed to matter. "We'll be back."

Ichigo's father glanced over, as he held back an attack from Aizen. The door to the soul society would open soon, allowing the ones in front of the door to be transported to the other world. He prayed that it would work.

Her violet eyes began to close, and he took her hand into his own. "Rukia! Stay with me! You're gonna live!"

"Ichigo you-you idiot. Don't make this any harder then it is." She looked into his amber eyes, a soft smile across her lips through all the pain.

Her eyes drifted up to his father for a moment before looking back at Ichigo with a playful smile. "Ichigo, come closer" she said quietly. He did as he was ordered. "Closer" she said again and he came closer only to be kissed on the lips. Her bloody face couldn't have gotten any redder but had gained a shad of pink instead as Ichigo turned red from ear to ear.

She pulled away smiling, "I love you, Ichigo." Her eyes closed and Ichigo's eyes widened. "Rukia" he pulled her body to his own, yelling at her, his voice had already faded away from her mind.

Ichigo's father couldn't say anything. He knew the pain of losing someone, and now his son knew that pain as well. "Ichigo" he placed his hand on his shoulder, hoping to comfort the boy. Ichigo, unable to handle it, was screaming just as he had when his mother had died

"Rukia!"

(Ichigo's POV)

When we were in the soul society, we weren't left to die. Being outsiders or not, the soul society wasn't that cruel.

"Why didn't they save them..." I asked God or whoever the hell was watching. They couldn't have saved them? They couldn't save their own after all that we had done? After stopping their goddamn war? Fuck, it was my fault.

The soul society hadn't agreed to the idea. That hadn't stopped Renji and Rukia.

In the end, we could've run. We could've stuck together. I could've saved them. They were all too young to die. Even if Rukia and Renji were 3000 years old, they could've lived another 3000 years.

I didn't want to cry, but how could I not? I had just lost the people that I was closest to and the ones that I loved...but I didn't want to cry. It wasn't that it wasn't my style; just that it would be pointless. Tears weren't going to bring them back.

Inoue...I didn't seem to call her by that name. I don't deserve to call her that. Orihime was someone that I felt like I barely knew at times and at other times, I felt like I knew her better then anyone else. We had a lot in common, even if it appeared to be only our hair color...We would pretend like we never knew each other at school, even after fighting together to save Rukia or when she saved my life. She liked me; I always knew she had a crush on me. But I just kept up my tough guy act. Aizen...The person she had left us to work with, had killed her. She should still be alive. All of their deaths, everything that we had been though together had been for nothing...She hadn't even been saved. That fucking bastard. He haunts me even from his grave. Yeah, there's so much pain inside me that I can't even think about her. She was on my mind for weeks, and... damn, I can't think about that without punching a wall.

Chad, he was...he was cool. By becoming friends, people knew they couldn't just pick on him or me cause then the other would just beat the crap out of them. Maybe I'll just dye my hair black. I don't want to fight anymore. It'd just bring back too many memories. The truth was that he was huge because he was meant to do something good with all that power. He would never fight beside anyone or me after that. It was my entire fault. His death was my fault. Even if it had been his battle, I could've been there for him, I could've battled with him.

Renji. The first time I met him, he was my enemy. He had come for Rukia along with his captain...And truthfully, he could've kicked my ass back then, but he'd slacked off. I still owed him for those crazy glasses of his that I broke. He had been the one to say those words and make everyone put their hands in then promise that we'd all come back alive. So why couldn't he keep his own dumbass promise?! He was supposed to come back and beat up that captain. We seemed to have a lot in common, even if we were always arguing with each other...

Then, that bastard Ishida...We started on bad terms too, I'm not even sure if we ended on all that good of terms. I couldn't even remember his name at first...but now, I can't seem to forget it. He was the last Quincy. I guess there aren't going to be any more Quinces. Why did he have t' go and die? Whoever the hell killed him killed Renji too. In the last second, his father had come with my father...But it had been pointless... they should've just left me there to die. His father had kept a calm look during the whole battle just as his son had tried to do. His father must hate me for letting his son die. I deserve it; I let him down and got him killed.

Rukia. Rukia. God, I can't even think about her. I owed her so much, and I loved her. Fuck. She wasn't supposed to die. After everything, she shouldn't have died.

When my battle with GrimmJow was over, I had taken Orihime to Rukia in hopes to save her. She was barely alive. She just kept telling me to get the hell out... Maybe I should have been the one to say that. We told her that we wouldn't leave without finishing our job, and then we all left to get that stupid orb. In the end, it was smashed, broken and Aizen wasn't happy. He had that stupid smile on his face and killed Orihime. She died quickly, it had been painlessly, but she shouldn't have died. I messed up. I wasn't paying attention, and Rukia jumped in the way of his blast, thus, saving my worthless life. Hadn't she saved me enough? Hadn't she protected me enough that she didn't owe me?

She had been the last one alive...She died going back to the soul society. Renji had died just a few minutes earlier. It was her words that hurt the most...

Orihime, Chad, and Ishida's funerals were a few days later. I just stood in the back and watched. There was no way I could've skipped out on it. Renji's and Rukia's funerals in the soul society were that night. It was peaceful, as Rukia's brother had been unable to speak. She had a grave next to her sister's under a cherry blossom tree. Renji's had been on top of a hill where he could see his childhood home. It seemed like a nice place. The soul society overall had made their funerals worthless. It pissed me off, and I knew I'd never go back there.

I would never become a soul reaper.

I would never fall in love.

Even if it killed me, I would never do it again.

That night, before the sun had come up, I decided to pay my last respects, or at least stand there and tell them I'm sorry. I wore a suit and everything. I didn't wanna look shitty, since it had been my fault in the first place.

Tatsuki was there.

She only glanced back at me with teary eyes; she was in pain as blood was dripping from the tight grip.

I couldn't look her in the eye and just continued to the graves.

It was one of the few times I had actually seen her in a dress outside of school. I could never forget the last time. Like then, I would rather never remember.

"You were supposed to bring her back," Tatsuki said barely audible. Her head was down, allowing the tears to roll down her cheeks then drop on the ground.

"You were supposed to return...All of you were supposed to return...Everyone would remember Rukia, and everyone wouldn't think" she paused just to yell. "that they hadn't gotten a stupid car accident!" She was crying. I couldn't look at her. I knew I had failed. "Everyone thinks that they had gotten drunk and got in a damn car accident then died...But that's not the truth.." This was hard for her, but she should blame me. Who blames her? I'm even mad at myself for it. "That guy, Aizen, killed them. They had all died along with Inoue..."

I didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. I had fought, all of us had, and we knew what we were getting into.

She slapped me. I could've dodged it if I'd wanted to. "Say something!" She screamed at me, punching my chest. It helped. She could only keep it up for so long, then her arms stopped, gripping my shirt's fabric. She looked down until her head fell, and she cried hard into my shirt. I felt horrible already. "Ichigo, why couldn't she come back? Why did she have to die?" she asked me, her words clouded by her crying.

"I don't know. I saw her die, none of us had any healing powers, and the soul society wouldn't help out." I paused, hearing her crying calm down as she clings to my shirt. "Fuck, she saved everyone, then was killed along with the others."

"I'm sorry. It wasn't suppose to end like this. Everyone was suppose to come back...I'm so sorry Tatsuki. I've failed you in my duties as a soul reaper and as a friend."

We didn't move. She didn't say anything.
I don't know why but we didn't. If I was helping her, then this was the least I could do for her.

When the sun was just starting to come up, she asked me; "Ichigo, what are you going to do now? Are you going to become a soul reaper again?" Her tears had disappeared along with her tight grip as she kept her calm tone, one I had never heard.

"I'm going to ask someone to get rid of my powers like they should have been from the beginning. Then I'm going to go away for a while. I might never come back."

She nodded against my shirt, understanding that I didn't want to even pick up a sword again. "Here" I backed away, forcing us to part. She just stood there clearing her eyes of the final tears.

I pulled out the last things of Orihime's then handed it to her. "The soul society felt that if they were buried with her body then it would be stolen. So you take 'em" I explained before leaving.

She didn't say anything, looking at the flower shaped hairpins in the palm of her hand.

I went to the Urahara Shop where Urahara Kisuke removed all of my powers. They told me several times that I wouldn't get my powers back very easily and that it would ultimately take me years after death to gain it back. I wasn't going to die; I would live a long life as she had told me to. And somehow, I wouldn't die alone.

"Ichigo?" My father said as he calmly knocked on my bedroom door.

My bag was next to my backpack on the bed. My blankets was neatly folded and the rest of my things were inside a box. I would leave in the morning.

"Yeah?"

He placed his hand on my shoulder, "You need to move on, you could go five million miles away from here but they will still be with you. They will never be forgotten. That's why you have to push past this and stop blaming yourself for their deaths." He squeezed my shoulder, knowing he was right. I had to move on, but what else was there to move on to? I had to stop blaming myself, but it had been my fault. Who else was there to blame?

It had all been my fault...