Length: 475 words
Pairings: Britta/Jeff and Jeff/Britta
Timing/Spoilers: Meh, something about episode ten and something about Jeff's and Britta's twitter.
Summary: Jeff and Britta threaten Abed.
Disclaimer: Unless I want the Period Fairy to stop visiting me—and I don't—I need to say that I own nothing—and I don't.
They don't know how he figured it out. Maybe she held her pleased smile at him for too long. Maybe he had his hand on her open textbook for a bit too long. Maybe they still had the sickly sweet smell of sex on them when they came to their study session after Jeff knocked out that ass-grabbing ass face's teeth after he started hitting on Britta in Starbucks.
That's probably how Abed figured it out. Or maybe it was on Tuesday, November 16 when Jeff tweeted that he was "sleepy" and Britta had to agree by tweeting "me too".
'Damn you Jeff Winger and your incredible, exhausting sex', she later mumbled to herself the next day when Abed cocked his eyebrow when she and Jeff walked into the study room together, laughing at Professor Duncan's latest drunken exploit. And, oh, it also didn't help that she made out with Jeff right in fount of Abed; like she was being pressed against him as Jeff started to strip her jacket off. And it sucked that he vaguely remembered it the next day. 'Damn you Abed Nadir and your incredible, superhuman memory.'
They had to corner him on January 24 to threaten him (yes, threaten) and bribe him (yes, bribe) to keep his mouth shut or...or—or else!
"Or else what?" Abed asked, his head cocked in interest and confusion, like a dog to a sound.
"Or else we're"...Jeff paused to think, his mouth in mid-thought, and glanced down at Britta for support.
"Or else we're destroy your movie collection and shred yours and Troy's screenplay", Britta said firmly, pointing at Abed with an unnerving finger.
"Okay", Abed said in a monotone voice and shrugged. "But, I hope this doesn't explode in our faces like it did in our second season premiere", he nodded.
"Abed", Britta massaged her temple with her hand, "I'm going to let that go."
"Now get out of here", Jeff bellowed at Abed, motioning him away.
"Okay", Abed said quickly, holding his messenger bag close to him and briskly walked away.
"Alright", Jeff muttered in Britta's ear, leaning down to reach her, "now we only have to worry about Pierce."
"Yeah, if he finds out. If!" Britta looked at Jeff, her arms crossed, "And with a bribe of some ketchup and fries, he'll be gravy."
"Got plans tonight?" Jeff muttered again in her ear.
Britta cocked her eyebrow and pursed her lips, "Three clues, he's old, he's flabby, and he controls the world."
"Jon Stewart?"
Britta nodded her head and stared at the bulletin board, "Yeah", she then looked at Jeff, "What do you have in mind?"
"A Happy Meal for me and a salad for you with that moderately expensive wine to drink while we watch Golden Girls on WE and while you secretly steal my McNuggets from me."
"Sounds nice."