a/n -Mostly a N/H story~ Helen has said goodbye to Larkhall forever, but a mysterious 'suicide' on G wing lures her back. The fragile relationship she is building with Nikki seems destined to end as Helen makes some discovery about the night of the murder that landed Nikki in jail, and suspicion falls on Nikki for this latest death on G wing. Is Helen the only one who can prove Nikki is innocent? Will she be willing to put herself on the line to help Nikki, and will Nikki be able to trust Helen again after learning the real reason she left Larkhall in the first place?
a/n 2 - Some facts changed for story purposes. Set around beginning season 3, Though Helen is still Gov of G wing. Dominic is still around, and a few other facts that I know aren't strictly sticking with the show but I hope will make some sense in any case.
Ch 1
Helen Stewart sat on the beach, oblivious to the beauty surrounding her. In the months since she had taken holidays from Larkhall she had been desperately trying to escape the thoughts in her head.
She barely heard the phone ring the first time, or the second. Only the third time did she register the noise as being her cell phone, and she had no inclination to answer it. The incessant ringing irritated her rather than made her curious, and she welcomed the brief respite from her thoughts to attend to the irritation. Not wanting to speak with anyone she let the call divert to message back and minutes later she checked her mail box completely unprepared for the message that followed.
A message from Jim
Fenner of all people. She wanted to throw the phone down. Why should
she care for anything Fenner had to say? Why on earth would he call
her when she was on holidays? But something stopped her hanging up.
Some feeling she got from the urgency in his voice, this was
important. And it felt good to be momentarily distracted by rage for
Jim.
"Helen. Sorry to disturb your vacation. We've had
a bit of trouble on G Wing. Another suicide. Can you believe it.
........."
Fenners voice droned on and on but Helen dropped the phone into the sand. One thought crossed her mind.
Nikki.
Helen replayed the last words she had said to Nikki. The last conversation they had before Helen left on vacation.
~"Nikki we have to end this. We can't
be involved. Your room mate, she knows you spent the night with me,
you escaped and I helped you cover it up. My job Nikki, this has to
end. It has ended." Helen spoke with authority that made Nikki's
blood boil. Those were weak cowardly excuses that earned Helen a look
of disgust from Nikki. "You coward." Nikki accused
her. "Hate me for it." Helen taunted her. But
Nikki couldn't hate her. Couldn't let it go. It was bad enough the
bars between them, bad enough Helen and her pathetic excuses. Helen
saw it in Nikki's eyes. Saw the love that had not been extinguished,
knew enough of Nikki's stubborn rebellious streak to know Nikki would
not respect her request. "No." Nikki said quietly. "No
I wont hate you, I love you Helen, and I know you love me. And
so Helen took that step over the line. Twisted the knife. Opened her
mouth and said clearly. "Nikki, You are a criminal. A cold
blooded killer. How could you possibly think I feel anything for you
but disgust
The words hurt but Nikki fought her
way through them, seeing what Helen was trying to do. "You
liar." Nikki accused her softly but confidently. "You're
the liar Nikki. I found out your secret. I know about that night. The
real reason you are in Jail." Helen threw in her face.
Those
were the words that finally rendered Nikki speechless. Those were the
words that wounded her. She didn't try to explain or defend herself.
She should have told the truth all along. Helen couldn't possibly
know it- not the whole truth. Someone's twisted version maybe.
Nikki had never told anyone the whole truth. "I have to
tell you, what really happened, Helen please listen to me..."
"Its
too late Nikki. I'm sick of excuses." Helen said boldly
although curiosity begged the question- tell me! And the pained look
in Nikki's eyes made Helen want to say "sit down sweet heart,
tell me everything, trust me, let me in." It irked her that
there was something so big that Nikki had kept hidden from her. How
could Helen or the lawyers help with the appeal when Nikki wasn't
being honest? It took every ounce of strength for Helen to
hold back. 'I have to cut you loose Nikki' She silently explained
'For both of us to survive I have to cut you loose.' It was for
Nikki's own good, get her mind off silly ideas like escape and
romance, and get her focused on her appeal, her future. It was for
Helen's own good too, for her sanity, She had slipped fast and
furiously into a downhill spiral of madness. She wanted out. There
was only one way. To hurt Nikki so bad that she turned away. And she
had tried. This whole painful conversation it was what she was trying
to do. Nikki was making it so bloody difficult, as usual. She had to
try harder. She swallowed and with dignity, composure, and a
steady gaze she spoke in her most pious tone "You make me
sick." Nikki shook her head "Sorry Helen, I don't
believe you, You have to do better than that." Ah sweet
Nikki, I slam door after door in your face and you're still fighting,
still standing strong, your eyes searching into "Ok" Helen conceded. "The truth. I'm
afraid." Nikki smiled "I know you're scared. I'm
scared too. But it will be ok. Trust me. We'll stick together and it
will all be ok." Nikki reached forward for Helen's hands and
Helen pulled away quickly. "No Nikki. I'm afraid of you.
They were right, You're a cold blooded killer. You're a monster
Nikki. " Helen knew she had crossed the line. But it had
worked. Guilt mingled with relief and