A/N: This story is from my Montage of Sirius, based on the song Separate Ways (Worlds Apart), by Journey. This was reader requested, and I hope you enjoy it!
Sirius stood there, still not quite believing he had let Marie go. They had fallen apart, sure, and they had completely hurt each other. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but she had broken his heart. He couldn't sleep without her next to him, but he knew she was gone forever. But he had promised her that even though they were done, he would always love her.
He knew she would find love someday. A girl like Marie would always have options. She was truly amazing. After all, Sirius Black didn't settle for anything less that spectacular. He knew that the only thing that had driven them apart was the war. Maybe she would find someone who could stay out of the conflict, who could keep all his promises, but in spite of his bitterness at the thought of her in someone else's arms, he wished her the best in his heart. After all, she would think of him when she made love to someone else, he was sure of it.
And if that son-of-a-bitch, whoever he was, ever hurt her, ever broke her heart, she would come back to him. She always did. And Sirius would heal her brokenness and things would be better. He would always love her, and maybe, if the war was over, everything could be okay again, like it was when they were just kids who didn't have to worry about things like war and death and fear. Back when they still thought they could take on the world.
No, Sirius didn't have a doubt in his mind, Marie would always be his in spirit, whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not. He would always love her, and she would always love him. If he had believed in soul mates, he would have been able to think of nothing better to describe them. In fact, Lily had called them just that. Ah, Lily. She would be so disappointed they were over. She was already secretly planning a wedding. He'd better go break the news.
Apparating to Godric's Hollow, Sirius walked down the familiar street that led to the home of his best friend in the entire world: James Potter. He walked up the street, wand at the ready, and knocked deliberately on the door of the home he had come to know so well. Lily answered.
"Sirius!" she said happily. "We weren't expecting you, come on in! James and Harry are playing in the sitting room."
He nodded numbly and followed her inside. He knew the way around the house by heart. Just last week, they had celebrated Marie's birthday here with all of their friends. That was when James had asked Sirius to be his Secret-Keeper. If he had known the problems it would cause to say yes, Sirius would have never agreed. It was too late to fix it now.
"Sirius!" said James, hugging a chubby little baby to him. "What brings you here? We weren't expecting you until tomorrow. Where's Marie?"
That was all it took. Sirius tried to swallow back the tears, but they were coming far too forcefully for him to deny them. He collapsed against the wall, sobbing violently, and Harry crawled over to him with concern on his little face.
"Oh, Sirius," whispered Lily. "James, take Harry up for a nap. I'll make some tea."
After several minutes of sobbing to himself, Sirius found himself being lifted into an armchair by James and having a mug of tea being forced into his hand by Lily. He barely had the strength to lift it to his lips, but once he took a sip, his sobbing slowed and he was able to wipe his eyes and look at his friends.
"She left me. Marie's gone."
"Oh, Sirius… what happened?"
"We've been fighting all week about me being your Secret-Keeper. She kept begging me to change my mind, coming up with all these reasons why someone else should do it. And she was right, of course, but I didn't realize it until she was gone."
"What do you mean she was right?" hissed James, but Lily smacked him upside the head.
"When did she leave?"
"This morning," Sirius moaned. "I went to her parents' house, but they wouldn't let me in. She refuses to see me. It's really over this time; I really blew it, Lily. I'm so sorry. I know how badly you wanted us to get married and have kids you could spoil. She's right, though. This was bound to happen sooner or later. I just wish it wasn't over this."
"What do you mean she was right?" insisted James, and Sirius let out a water chuckle.
"I'm too obvious, James. They'll come looking for me straight away. And if she and I were together, think of the danger that would put her in. It wouldn't be the first time the Death Eaters tried to get me to do something by using her safety. There's no telling if she would make it out alive this time. It's not a risk she was willing to take, and it's not one I should have asked her to take." Sirius took another sip of tea. "James, I have an idea. What if you make your Secret-Keeper the one person they'll never think to ask? They'll be so busy trying to get the information out of the people who can't tell it and they'll never find you."
"Who do you have in mind?" said James.
"Peter," said Sirius, a grin forming on his face. "It's perfect. Who would think to go to Peter with something like this?"
"He's right," James muttered, looking over at Lily. "It's perfect."
"And I can check on him as often as possible, make sure he's still safe. It's not like I've got anything else to do. I'm going into hiding soon myself."
"Are you sure you can't make things up with Marie?" said Lily quietly. "You love each other so much."
Sirius shook his head. Maybe it was his pride talking, maybe it was a sudden realization of the way things had to be, but he and Marie weren't getting back together and that was that. They made all of the necessary arrangements and Sirius wandered home. Tomorrow night, Peter would become the Secret-Keeper. Then Sirius would have to start checking on Peter regularly.
He made his way back to his own home, horrified that he wasn't going to find Marie in his bed when he arrived. Things had gotten so bad so fast and he should have seen it coming, but he hadn't. He was a fool to think that love was enough to keep her with him through all he had put her though. He was a fool to believe that she would keep waking up beside him because she liked how it made her feel.
When he got back to his kitchen, Sirius poured a glass of Firewhiskey, downing it in one and pouring another. Peter would be the Secret-Keeper. Sirius wouldn't be able to see James and Lily and Harry. He had lost Marie. This war had to be over soon because he didn't know how much more lose he could handle. But he still had Peter and Remus.
Well, he still had Peter. Sirius would never say it aloud to James, but there had been more than one reason for choosing Peter as his replacement. Sirius thought Remus was the spy, and Sirius thought Remus was the one who pushed Marie away from him.
Another glass of Firewhiskey.
But did he think that Remus was the spy because he drove her away, or did he think Remus drove her away because he was the spy? Did it matter at this point?
Remus had been acting very suspiciously, disappearing at odd times, mixing up his stories, not laughing at his usual jokes, not enjoying his usual interests. It was like he was a boy again, lying about where he was disappearing to once a month, except he was disappearing more often. Ever since Dumbledore had mentioned that there was a spy in their midst, he had wondered…
That had been another thing that Marie had hated, his questioning of Remus, quietly, just between him and her. She trusted him explicitly and was furious that Sirius would question such a good friend. She, in turn, had voiced concerns about Peter and he had laughed, and she ended up laughing with him. It was, after all, Peter.
But it was her reaction to his questions about Remus that had made him wonder… wonder about how close those two had really gotten behind his back. As much as Sirius didn't want to, he couldn't deny the chemistry between Marie and Remus. He truly did want her to be happy… but not with Remus, spy or no. It wasn't because Remus was a werewolf, he told himself, but it was because Remus would never be good enough for her.
But would anyone ever be good enough for his Marie? Marie Stainthorpe, his sweet little Ravenclaw prefect, the girl who begged him to run away from home… She had saved his life. But he would have done it anyway. Sirius would have done anything for Marie, at sixteen, and even now. Never would he have said it aloud, but he needed her.
And she was gone. He lay awake that night feeling empty inside, feeling alone in the dark for the first time in a long time.
Marie flicked her quill absently. She didn't know why she had been called into work today of all days. Everybody else in the Ministry was out on holiday. Harry Potter, that baby boy, the son of her best friend, had defeated Voldemort. Why the hell was she at work?
There had been some sort of catastrophe, that's why. Part of a Muggle street blown up, thirteen people dead, only one wizard. It was supposed to be a cut-and-dry case. Crouch had promised her that as soon as the paperwork was done and the scumbag they caught red-handed was carted off to Azkaban she could have the rest of the week off. Then she would have to start working on Death Eater trials, as a few of the crazier ones were still out looking for their master.
"All right," she said to Crouch, "I'm here, like you asked. Trial is when?"
"Right now," he said, pointing to the guards holding a man who was laughing deranged. "Miss Stainthorpe, there's no need for a trial. We just need a few things signed and then you can leave."
Marie turned to look at the man in question. Her jaw dropped when she saw that it wasn't just any crazed man: It was Sirius. Her Sirius.
She hadn't seen him since that night, walking out of their flat in London, all her things with her, knowing she wouldn't go back. She had never expected to see him again, and certainly not like this.
"H-he did it?" she gasped, trying to keep a grip on her heart rate, trying to calm herself, trying not to look into the eyes of the man she still loved, the eyes that always saw to her soul. She couldn't handle that now. "Are you sure? H-his wand? I… Are you sure?"
"There was a street full of witnesses. It was him. He killed a dozen Muggles and a wizard by the name of Peter Pettigrew, as well as causing incredible damage to a Muggle street. Now, sign these papers."
She frowned down at the paper on the desk. It was a set of notes, supposedly a court transcript that she had "approved". He was asking her to legitimize their lack of trial for her ex-lover. It wouldn't have been the first illegal thing she had done for the department, not under Barty's rule. But this, this wasn't just illegal this was breaking her heart. She didn't want to accept Sirius had done this. Peter… Oh, poor Peter. But why would he do any of this?
"Are you trying to tell me he's a Death Eater?" she said softly. "Because I assure you, that's not the case. It's not possible."
"And why would you say that?" said Barty Crouch, his eyebrow high. She wasn't supposed to be with Sirius, she hadn't been supposed to date someone in Dumbledore's underground organization, more so if he was being accused of being a Death Eater. She could lose her job for saying anything, but she had to. This wasn't okay.
"Because," she said softly, "I have seen every inch of that man's body, and there is no Dark Mark anywhere."
Crouch blinked, his eyebrows attempting to disappear into his hair. He recovered himself quickly, however, and said, "He's quite a powerful wizard, yes?"
She couldn't argue that. Sirius was incredibly talented. Marie simply nodded.
"Well, then, isn't it very possible that he had concealed it magically when with you? The fact of the matter is, Miss Stainthorpe, these papers need signing, you need a job. If you would like to keep your job, you will sign these papers and accept the truth that this man is a Death Eater, however personally painful for you that might be, because you know it's the right thing to do. And then, I suggest, once you do that, you distance yourself from his memory, because he's never coming back and you don't want suspicion falling on you, now, do you?"
The world was spinning and Marie felt as though she couldn't breathe. With a shaking hand, determined not to look back at Sirius, she lifted her quill to the paper and signed his fate, feeling like all she wanted was to fall at his feet and beg his forgiveness, to know it wasn't true, anything that would make it better. Instead, she dropped the quill, left the room, found the nearest toilet and left her breakfast in it before collapsing on the floor, staring at the ceiling, gasping in shock, tears streaming down her cheek.
He couldn't be a Death Eater. He couldn't have killed Peter. He couldn't be the reason her world had just collapsed around her. Despite leaving him, despite everything she had said, Marie loved Sirius more than she was willing to admit. He wouldn't do this to her, he couldn't.
Three hours later, Marie was able to peel herself off the floor, shaking, sobbing, tears running down her face, but she cleaned herself up a little bit and Apparated away to a familiar flat on the far side of London. Sirius wouldn't be there. She already knew where he was. Letting herself in, Marie followed a familiar path to the bedroom, grabbing an book bag of Sirius's and stuffing a few things inside it: The shirt he had worn on their last date, the last half-bottle of his cologne, and the ring he had given her for her seventeenth birthday, which she had left him to remember her by. Marie grabbed a stack of old letters and turned up the mattress, finding another box of letters and grabbing the top half. Then, with a quick trip to the bathroom she found his robe, which still smelled like him, and shoved it in the top, Apparating quickly away again, to another familiar flat, albeit, one she wouldn't be able to let herself into.
"Remus?" she called, knocking on the door, surprised at the strength of her own voice. "Remus, please, let me in, I need you!"
Before she could knock a second time, the door swung open and Remus was there, looking tired and shabby as always, but he caught her as she stumbled forward at him, sobbing, shaking, and nearly collapsing with the weight of her grief and guilt.
"Marie, what's wrong?" he said, surprise evident in his voice. "Marie, talk to me, what happened?"
"They're telling me he's a Death Eater," she cried. "They're telling me he's guilty, that he killed Peter. Remus, they made me sign his trial papers, but there wasn't a trial. Tell me it wasn't him; tell me it's not true!"
"Who?" said Remus, his voice clearly straining to be calm as he took in the news of Peter's death. "Who are they blaming?"
"Sirius," she hissed, burying her face in Remus's chest and soaking his shirt in her tears. "Tell me it's not true!"
Remus didn't tell her anything, however, he simply stared down at her, unsure if he had heard her correctly. Sirius… killed Peter? It was a strange thing to think of.
"They tried to tell me he's a D-death Eater, Remus," she whispered, hiccupping. "It's not true, it can't be true, I told Crouch he didn't have the Mark but he said I was fooled. Remus, please, tell me it wasn't him!"
Remus wanted so badly to tell her it wasn't him, that she was right and none of this was true, mostly because he couldn't stand to see Marie like this. He had seen her nearly this upset not long ago at all, when she had made the decision to leave Sirius and she came to Remus begging him to tell her that she'd made the right choice. He had told her what she wanted to hear, but he hadn't really believed it, just like he wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear, but not because he believed it. There had been a spy, someone had been a Death Eater, someone turned over Lily and James, and Sirius had been the Secret-Keeper. And now this, now Peter… now… Azkaban. Sirius was never coming back, and Marie, that poor girl, had been the one to sign off on the order.
Marie was gently tucked into bed by Remus, after she had gotten all of the crying, screaming, begging, and talking to herself out of her system for the day. He set up a bed for himself on the sofa, and Marie knew he was watching her as she started to fall toward sleep. He was worried she was losing her mind, worried this would break her, but she was worried too. She would never forget this pain as long as she lived.