A/N - I actually wrote this three years ago in a notebook. I'd meant to upload it, but I lost the notebook. I recently found it and just typed it up. Please not that the italicised parts are NOT Yamato's memories. They are just flashbacks to random points in time.
The thunder rolled outside the house, streaks of lightning coloring the sky with a white so pure it could take your away your breath, a blue so electric, and every now and then a yellow bolt, bold in its show, a louding cracking accompanying these colors to tell the world of their dance. A dance that was beautiful and dangerous, almost forbidding in a sense.
The rain fell heavil, making the color of the dark green leaves seem an even more vivid shade of green than shown when it was dry. The rain was warm to the touch, though the blowing wind made if feel cold.
A small stream ran through the center of a park, though it was now flooded due to the amount of rain that had been falling this past month. A muddy foot print was left on the bank of this stream, though it was quickly filling with water from the heavy downpour.
A figure moved sluggishly away from the muddy foot print. The figure gimped slightly, favoring its left side. A small trail of crimson liquid, a dark color now deluted by rain, followed the figure as it gimped onward. The figure looked up, face full of anguish and longing. The eyes, a cold ocean blue, held tears, though not the cold tears of sadness; warm tears of hatred and pain.
"What have I done to you!" his voice screamed to the heavens, cursing all that was (or wasn't) there. "What the hell have I done to deserve this?" A hollow laugh followed the statement, making the ocean blue eyes look around. Who was here? Who could possibly be laughing at him?
"What have you done, you ask? a voice followed that empty laugh," you have sinned against God and all that society claims as right. Gays are unnatural. All you've gotten is what your God sees fit!"
"No," the ocean blue eyes whispered, the very words sounding broken and pained.
"Yes, Yamato. Your God had banished you from His kingdom and your lover will spend eternity in Hell, getting what he deserves," the stranger's voice haunted Yamato's ears. "Your lover lies dead where you left him to finish bleeding out."
"You... how do you know!" Yamato demanded, eyes searching frantically for the owner of the voice, but this voice seemed to be coming from all directions and Yamato couldn't pin point its location. "Answer me! How do you know of Taichi's death!"
The voice laughed again, a laugh of a mad man that came from nowhere. "Quite simply, Yamato. I killed him."
Yamato flashed Taichi a grin as he passed him in the abandoned hall of the school. Taichi returned the grin with a lopsided one of his own. His cockiness amused the blond, though said blond would never tell Taichi that directly, if at all. Yamato knew it would only add to his ego.
Yamato ducked into the locker room entrance, which was located at the end of the hall. It, like the hallway, was empty of people (even though the hall had contained Taichi, but he didn't count). In all honest, Yamato was there for only one reason; he was skipping class. Again. A favorite past time of his it seemed.
The locker room was a safe time to hang out this period, as no P.E. classes were offered this period (it was health instead). Yamato knew exactly where he could go when he wanted to skip without leaving campus, and better yet, he knew where to go to not get caught.
A faint dripping sound could be heard. One of the shower heads was broken and it now dripped constantly. It was amazing that it didn't drive Yamato insane while he was in there, but the young blond had learned to block out the drip, drip, drip noise.
The tile in the ancient locker room might have once been blue, but it was now faded into a dull color that Yamato had no name for. It wasn't much of a color, actually, but some color imitation of an extrememly light blue. The walls were a plain white, though writing added decoration with creative writing such as "scored the winning goal - 2002," "Becky is so fine," and "I'd tap that," which was written next to various girls' names. Rows of dull grey lockers lined the middle and perimiter of the drab room, with a few benches set about here and there.
Yamato made his way to the back of room, so that, just in case someone did come by and look in, they coudln't see him past the camoflauge of lockers and benches.
"Math is overrated anyway," he mumbled to himself as he leaned against the wall, back to it, one leg bent and the foot flat against the wall, arms crossed and head down with his eyes closed. His golden locks fell into his face as he did this. Yes, he was talking to himself, but in all honesty, all people do that, even though some claim that only crazy people talk to themselves. Yamato was definitely not crazy. Well, not insane-crazy anyway. Dare-devil crazy maybe, but not lock-him-in-an-asylum kind of crazy.
Grinning, Yamato remembered a party he'd been to last Saturday. He was dare-devil crazy that night, though the details should remain unmentioned. It had been an eventful night for Yamato because his band had been the entertainment. He's had quite a few girls come and ask him out throughout the night. He'd declined, of course, but not after some flirting and a stolen kiss or two. But none of those things had been the high light of his night.
No, the highlight had been Yagami Taichi and the stolen kiss that had happened by the side of the building. Yamato had always figured he'd been bisexual, but that kiss with Taichi... it had held so much more then any kiss Yamato had had before.
Shaking his head, Yamato brushed the kiss aside. The kiss was something both had promised not to bring up again, as it was a mistake, on both ends they had decided. The only reason it had seemed to hold so much more than any other kiss was because of the alsohol influence. Or, at least that was what Yamato was trying to convince himself of.
Still... a part of Yamato's mind nagged. What if the kiss actually had meant something to him? Yamato would never know... not unless he kissed Taichi while completely sober.
The opening of the locker room door made Yamato push off the wall in a panic. He peeked around the corner of the lockers to see who had entered. A mop of brown hair greeted him. Taichi.
"Yamato, I know you're in here," Taichi's voice echoed throughout the room.
"Yeah, Taichi. In the back," Yamato said, leaning against the wall again, head up this time, though.
"Why are you skipping?" Taichi demanded as he leaned against the lockers across from Yamato, a pack of computer paper in his hand at his side.
"I could ask you the same thing," Yamato countered.
Taichi held up the paper, waving it briefly in the air. "I'm on an errand for a teacher. Printer ran out of paper in the middle of printing."
"Goody-two-shoes," Yamato sneered playfully, to which Taichi rolled his eyes.
"Seriously, Yamato. If you want to get anywhere in life, you gotta pass high school first," Taichi lectured.
"I got it covered, 'Chi, relax. I'm gonna be rich and famous. Then I won't even need a real job," Yamato smirked.
"Yeah, so you've been telling us the past couple of years but...hypothetically speaking, what if you don't make it? What do you have to fall back on? A high 'D' in an elective class?" Taichi preached.
"Low 'C' and if, by some slim, insanely-unlikely chance it doesn't work out, I'll go back to school or go live with you or someone until I can get a job. No big," Yamato shrugged.
Taichi sighed in aggrivation. "Yamato, it is big. No one would hire you once you were in the real world, the adult world. Not if you don't pass high school. Unless you want to flip burgers the rest of your life!"
"Get off my back, Taichi!" Yamato snapped, "I'm tired of hearing it. From you, Sora, Mimi, TK, Dad, everyone! Just lay off, okay?"
"No, it's not okay! Sorry we want you to have a good life, with real friends," Taichi glared at him.
"Who say I don't have real friends? I'll still have you guys, ya know."
"For how long? How long until you are so high on your horse that you forget us? Forget me?" Taichi's vocie was no longer anger-fille, and it had been dropping quieter with each word until he finally whispered the last part.
"Taichi... I wouldn't."
"How do you know? You're cocky enough as it is and you could easily get anyone you wanted in the celebrety world, so what need would you have for me?" Taichi shook his head and looked away. "I support your dream, heaven knows I do, but it doesn't mean I won't resent it."
"... 'Chi," Yamato's voice had quieted as well. The only noise in the locker room was that of the leaking shower. Drip. Drip. Drip. After what seemed like eternity, Yamato finally spoke, "I won't forget you, ever. And I can't get everyone I want. There's only one person I can't get off my mind anyway, and as you can see, I don't have them," Yamato pushed off the wall.
"Yamato..." Taichi looked at the blond, who was his equal in height, "no. You said... we'd agreed it was a mistake."
"Was it really?" Yamato asked, "can you honestly tell me that it meant nothing to you?"
"Not to me," Taichi's answer surprised the blond. The kiss... meant something to him? "To you."
Reality settled in around the blond boy like a sudden blizzard. His best friend, best guy friend, harbored romantic feelings for him. Taichi wanted him. And by the way Taichi was speaking, he feared that Yamato didn't feel the same way, or would hate him for feeling that way. Yamato took a step forward, causing Taichi to look up at him, meeting his eyes. Yamato stared into the chocolate orbs until Taichi coulnd't bear it and looked away. Yamato moved forward even farther, until his had Taichi pinned against the lockers, Yamato's hands on either side of Taichi's head.
"Y-Yamato. Don't," Taichi muttered, pressing himself as far back onto the lockers as he could.
"Don't... don't toy with me."
"I don't plan to toy with you, but I need to know. For us," Yamato's voice was husky as he leaned in, his warm breath teasing Taichi's lips. Yamato pressed himself against Taichi completely, feeling Taichi shiver before him in anticipation.
"No, Yamato. Please," Taichi sounded younger then his sixteen years.
Yamato didn't listen. He brought one hand over to cup Taichi's cheek, to which Taichi reacted immidently, nuzzling it and closing his eyes. Taking his chance then, Yamato leaned in and placed his lips lightly upon Taichi's.
Taichi lost all control then. The paper he'd been holding slid from his grasp, landing on the ground with a loud thump that echoed throughout the empty locker room. Yamato's lips had only brushed against Taichi's lightly, yet it was enough to send the brown haired boy over the edge. Taichi snaked one arm around Yamato's waist, planting him firmly in place, while the other hand ventured to the back of Yamato's head to keep him there as Taichi deepened the kiss.
Yamato's eyes closed in bliss at the feel of Taichi's lips on his. His hands tangled in the mess that was Taichi's hair. A shiver of pleasure went down Yamato's spine. Their first kiss.
At least, one that wasn't stolen on a drunken night.
"You... You killed him!" Yamato's voice broke as the rain pelted him, leaving his hair limp and lifeless, like the love of his life. "Why? Why, you bastard!"
The unfound voice was silent for a moment, leaving Yamato alone in his anguish. When the voice spoke again, it was dark, forbidden, almost taunting Yamato with its aloofness, its smugness. "Why, you ask... You know that answer to that question, Yamato. Much better then you think you do. But, I will tell you anyway, for simplicity sake. Taichi was not worthy of life. Gays to not belond here. I saved you from the mockery of your classmates, friends, and family!"
"Saved me? From mockery? You stole my love!" Yamato's angry growl was backed by the loud crack of lightning, as if the Heavens agreed with Yamto and not this crazy, anonymous voice.
"Foolish Yamato. You know as well as I that even you had your doubts. Your thoughts of leaving Taichi to be "normal" again. So you could fit in," the voice spoke. It seemed to know all of Yamato's darkest, deepest, unspoken thoughts. Thought that he had banished to a corner of his mind as soon as they arose.
"But I would never wish death upon him! Not upon my Taichi!" Yamato protested.
"No, but I would," the voice laughed, its cruel sound echoing around him and the rain.
Escape. Yamato needed to escape. To flee from the evil that seemed to have consumed this part of the park. To leave the haunting, hollow voice behind. Yet, as Yamato made his move to leave, a ripping pain soared through his leg, and it was then he was reminded that it was wounded. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten the injury, but it hurt like hell. Gritting his teeth at the pain, Yamato headed onward, deeper into the woods at the edge of the park.
"Go where you wish, Yamato, but you will never escape me."
"So, Yamato, how are you? Hikari's question was asked as she plopped down on the couch next to him, as he was waiting for Taichi to return from the store.
"Can't complain. How's life treating you?' Yamato replied with a casual shrug.
"Ok. A bit upset about the upcoming chemistry test, though," Hikari sighed.
"Isn't Ken gonna help you?"
"Yeah, he's really good with that stuff. Whereas I'm surprised I'm even passing the class!"
"You are way to modest, Hikari. All of us know you are smart enough, and determined enough, to make it in any class," Yamato gave her a smile. It was amazing how much of a little sister she'd become to him.
"Yeah, I guess. Anyway, how are things with you and Taichi?" Hikari's question threw Yamato off, almost literally, as he almost slipped off the couch.
"Wh-what?" Yamato stammered, to which Hikari rolled her eyes and giggled.
"Taichi tells me everything," Hikari said, "we are close, as brothers and sisters go. I'm happy for you... but..."
"But what?"
"If you break his heart, I'm going to break your guitar," and with the look on her face, Yamato couldn't tell if she was joking or not.
"Got it. Noted," Yamato said as he picked himself up off the floor.
"Good. Now, if you or Taichi need me, I'll be on the phone with Ken. Gotta study!" Hikari bounced up and grabbed the home phone from it's place on the table next to the couch before exiting the room.
Yamato shook his head. What an odd girl she was. Even Yamato dared not to face her wrath. Hikari never actually showed her anger (often anyway), and to tell the truth, he was slightly afraid of her when she was. He'd rather not see that side of her.
Yamato made his way numbly through the trees. Escape. Escape the horror that was the haunting voice. The voice that spoke horrible truths. Ones that no one should know, no one had heard. True, Yamato had his doubts about the relationship, but even so, he had loved Taichi, still loved Taichi.
Blood, warm and wet, flowed from the wound in Yamato's leg. For the life of him, he could not remember how he got wounded, but the blood on his hands was from it, trying to stop the bleeding. However, a little while ago he'd given up on stopping it. It would stop on its own, or he would bleed out. It didn't matter to him much, either way.
The mud was getting worse, slicker with each fat drop that fell from the sky to the already soaked ground. Yamato was having difficulty standing with his feet slipping on the slick brown substance. It wasn't much later until he slide, completely losing his balance and falling onto his back, where he lay as pain soared through him, starting in the wound in his leg and raising to his head.
"Taichi," Yamato murmured softly to himself, tears mixing with rain drops. Taichi was gone, never coming back. Yamatowould never look into his chocolate orbs again, never kiss his soft lips, never hold me close and whisper into his ear. None of this was possibly, not ever again. What had he done to have God curse him this way? What was he truly being punished for? "What did I ever do?" Yamato moaned the question rather than speaking loud. He had no voice left, no life it seemed.
The hollow laughter echo around him once again.
"A monster took my Taichi. You monster!" Yamato wept on the cold ground.
"Yes, a monster indeed," the anonymous voice mocked him. "I'll show you this monster. I will show you."
Yamato had Taichi pinned roughly against the wall, kissing him hungryly. Taichi was returning the kiss with just as much intensity. It was actually difficult to tell which boy was pinned, as Taichi might have been against the wall, but his arms were so tight around Yamato's waist that it appeared that the only reason Yamato wasn't moving away was because Taichi wasn't allowing him too.
While Taichi's hands were around Yamato, Yamato's were busy with running up and down Taichi. Yamato's hands worked their way under Taichi's loose and baggy shirt and began to move upon Taichi's well-toned abs, tracing each muscle with extreme care.
Those light touched with the hunger filled kiss sent shiver down Taichi's spine. Yamato was so... so irresistable to the brown-haired boy. Taichi couldn't seem to ever get enough of him. They had dated one month, secretely except for Hikari who was the only one that knew. "Yama," Taichi panted once Yamato pulled back for air. "I need... more. I need us. I need you."
Yamato understood. He had been waiting for Taichi to say he was ready. He had waited for Taichi to give the okay.
One month wasn't a long time to date someone, but they had known each other for much longer then that; well over five years, and for most of that time, there wasn't a amoment either could remember not knowing what the other was up to. Yamato knew that Taichi was still a virgin. Taichi knew that Yamato had never been intamet with a guy before.
"Good to hear," Yamato's voice was husky. Yamato pulled Taichi from the wall and allowed him to lead the way to the bed. Once by the bed, Yamato pounced, sending both himself and Taichi onto the bed. The blond strattled the brunet, still kissing him for all his worth, his hands exploring every inch of the brunet that he could get too, with both his hands and his tongue.
That night, they made love. Neither boy would call it having sex, because love was all that they had felt.
"Show me. Show me who you are!" Yamato roared with anger.
"Very well. Stand, Yamato, and go to the creek. Follow it to the small pond that has built up. We will meet there. I will show you who I am."
Yamato nodded. He felt a need to see who had killed his beloved Taichi. A need to see who had ripped his happiness from him. Who hated gays enough to kill them, yet leave the other to grieve.
Yamato got to his his knees with difficulty. He felt so god damned weak, so lost and alone. No one was here to help him stand. No doubt they had found Taichi's body by now, laying in a pool of blood on the floor of the living room, where Yamato had found him.
Slowly, Yamato rose from the ground, careful to favor his good leg. Surely he looked horrible. Mud and blood caking his body. His own blood, and Taichi's, from when he'd clutched his dead lovers body close, sobbing uncontrolable at the loss. His hair had to be flat and his eyes bloodshot from crying.
The creek was only a little ways back tracking, but that was a million miles with the wounded leg. Sloshing through the mud, Yamato mad his way back to the creek, though it wasn't easy. Lightning and thunder accompanies his journey.
Yamato leaned down to tie his show when he over heard someone talking.
"Can you believe the fags in this school? They keep popping up like flies."
"It's disgusting."
"Yeah. Love is meant for a man and a woman. Nothing else,"the first voice spoke with confidence.
Yamato froze, but only for a few seconds. He then stood, turning towards the voices. "I think they have a right to like who they like."
"What are you? Are you a flaming fag, too? Who wouldn't thought."
"No! I... I just think someone should love who they want. Just because I think that doesn't make me gay," Yamato growled.
"Good, 'cause if you were, think how far you'd drop," the second voice, a blonde girl, laughed before she and her friend walked off, mumbling something about how Yamato's reputation would be nothing.
Yamato leaned against the wall. He had never doubted his feeling for Taichi, but now... how would he get to be a rockstar is no one wanted him to play? Everything he had worked so hard for would be wasted, like last night's left overs.
Yamato was starting to have his doubts.
The creek ran deeper into the woods, almost disappearing into the black abyss of shadows that covered the forest floor. Shadows of trees and darkness.
Following the creek, Yamato kept his eyes forward, watching where he was going and what was on the ground.
Lightning flashed, lighting up the woods, if only for a moment. The hazy outline of trees could be seen everywhere. Yet, no matter how much lightning lit up the sky, not a single bolt lit it up enough for Yamato to make out an other people nearby. The sound of the heavy rain and thunder made it so Yamato couldn't hear where Taichi's murdere was, either.
Dammit all! How was he to know if the wasn't some kind of trap? Would this lunatic kill him off, too? All the better, though, in Yamato's eyes. If he were to die, he would be reunited with his Taichi.
Another bolt of lighting showed Yamato he had reached his destination.
"Wh-what are you doing! Taichi cried and fought against his attacker, but all of his blocks only got him hurt some more. "Why are you doing this!" Taichi was trying to get the attacker to talk. If he could do that, it would buy him some time to think of an escape plan.
The attacker didn't answer, though, for he wasn't here to talk. Taichi must die. All gays must die. But Taichi the most. Taichi corrupted Yamato, changed him. He made Yamato drop in status, made it so Yamato could never sing, as no one wanted him around anymore. Taichi would pay! With his life.
Knife in hand, the attacker lunged, cutting Taichi's arm as he raised it in defense. Taichi howled in pain and stumbled back against the wall. Trapped. He was trapped.
"You'll die now, Taichi," the cold voice of the attacker spoke, his lips moving into a triumphant smirk, though Taichi couldn't see his attackers face in the dark. "Die for what you did! Pay for what you've done!"
"What did I do!" Taichi was all but broken, scared and defenseless against the wall. Behind that wall was his room. His empty room, with his cell phone on its charger.
"You ruined Yamato! You tore him down when he was so good. He could have been famous, rich, have all the women he wanted, and you stole that from him! Made him think about being with you, another guy! Yamato was straight until you came to that God Damned party and stole him away! Kissing him secretely by the side of that house!" the attacker grinned, hearing the gasp of surprise that escaped Taichi's lips. "That's right. I know all about your mini-make out session."
"Y-Yamato choose to be with me," The fear was evident in Taichi's voice.
"No! You twisted his mind!" the attacker growl, then breathed a calming breath. "But, no matter. Once you are gone, he will see the error of his ways. Realize he is better off without you. He can go forward without you," the attackers voice was cold as steel, yet a joyous note was upon it, joy that Taichi wold soon be gone from here, and Yamato would be free to do as he pleased, no Taichi to interfer.
"I did nothing! Yamato simply loves me because he can, not because of something I did!" Taichi said, his voice a bit stronger then before.
"Silence!" the attacker cried, thrusting the knife forward and slashing at Taichi's stomach, leaving a deep wound across his abdomen. Taichi cried in pain. "Shut up! Just shut up!" the attacker had wanted to make this fun, but Taichi was ruining it with his screams. The attacker moved back a bit, to look at Taichi. This put the attack into some light, and Taichi could see who it was.
"Y-you! N-No!" Taichi's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Oh yes, Taichi," the attacker's laugh was fake and hollow, its shell being that of anger and hatred. "It's a shame that you won't live to tell anyone it was me."
"I thought-" Taichi never got the finish as the knife stabbed into his throat. The attacker pulled the knife out and Taichi slumped to the floor. Just to be safe, the attacked plunged the knife into Taichi another seventeen times.
Yamato slowed down as he approached the pong. What awaited him there? Would he be stabbed, like Taichi? Or did this person really just want to unvail himself to Yamato? But if so, then why?
"Hurry Yamato," the voice was back and as distant and cold as ever. "Hurry to the water and wait until I say. I'll let you see me. See who I am."
See who he was... Yamato needed to know! He gimped over to the water's edge, the standing water being rippled by the falling drops. "Now what?"
No was silent, except for the thunder and lightning that now seemed louder then ever.
"Hello?"
"Hold on. We have to wait for the lightning. Once it flashes, look into the water and you will see me. You will see Taichi's murderer."
Yamato looked down, waiting for the lightning. Once it flashed, he expected to see someone behind him, holding a knife to stab him. Instead, he only saw his own blue eyes staring back at him, a twisted smile upon his face.
"See, Yamato?" his own lips moved in accordance to the hollow voice. "We killed him."