People really could die from loneliness after a while. Loneliness had the ability to be a devastatingly lethal force: crushing ones heart under the weight of grievance & leaving the body agonizingly numb to outside recognition. All would be fine for the first few days or even weeks, but then that's when the feelings of inadequacy would kick in. Feelings of self doubt, hatred, even fear would rise from the recesses of ones mind & slowly grow worse to make each day forward a living hell. Given enough time to fester, one would start to go mad, their temperment changing drastically in order to meld into their new surroundings. Months eventually would pass by like hours, each slicing with the utmost of ease into ones psyche like a razor to crete-paper, furthering the feelings of inadequacy when nothing was truly accomplished before its end. Yet the instinctual yearning for human contact would never fade away completely, only tarnish in the midst of internal turmoil.
Fate? Luck? These were two things that tended to be left in the Gods hands at all times. It didn't matter your background, your race, religion, or any other potentially dividing factor. In the end, everything was left to a much larger force beyond humanities control. Some people could try to change fate, to issue in a new era in which only the strongest of mind, soul, & body were to survive & prosper, but it would always seem to fail before it would ever begin. Not even mass genocide could truly eliminate the potential of distress.
Perhaps this was fate attempting to prevent any advancement within human society, or perhaps this was a stroke of horrendously bad luck & poor chances. Whether one believed in the scientific side of everything or the general archtype of faith-based joining, in the end, they were always seeming to come up short in the art of nullifying the subconscious need for human interaction
Celestia Ludenberg had learned this from a young age, starting the day she went off into the gambling world herself those many moons ago. To her, the thrill of a winning hand & the wealth to come with it were more important than maintaining social bonds. Her interactions with family went from daily, to monthly, just slowly dwindling into nonexistance over the years. If it had nothing to do with the God's luck bestowed upon her, or the dreams she had in store for her future, she showed little care for it. Lies began to drip from her lips like an endless stream of venom, her temper would flare over the smallest of disturbances... Despite the intense change it's ultimate lack of produced in her, human interaction outside of her games was too trivial of a thing for Celestia to indulge in.
Was it fate that decided whether or not she was capable of maintaining her gambling habit alongside relations? But of course.
Ah, but this all seemed to change when the ravenette was enrolled into Hopes Peak academy. She could still remember that wretched gym to this day: it's chilled air heavily scented with polished wood, the sea of faces that surrounded her, the gentle hum of the airconditioning system over head...
-The steel plates barricading the windows & the crude, violent bear that spoke so nonchalantly to her & the others trapped in that hideous, horrible room.
That was the day her life had been turned upside down & tossed into the depths of hell itself, but also the day she found something she desperately wanted. Amidst that sea of panicked faces, she had seen her: a girl of average height, with long lilac hair, a calm expression, & lavender eyes that practically bored their way into ones soul with a single glance.
Kyouko Kirigiri.
Like a starving wolf to an injured caribou, the gambler had found herself practically lusting for the others presence- to own that which could not truly be given under simple means. Yes, the detective she had grown so fond of over the days was never one for prolonged company, always keeping a step or two ahead of the others whom shared her company. There was always an excuse to leave, to run along & hide. It was a foolish desire, to tame that which thrived almost solely in solidarity...
But Celestia fought for the right to be at this ones side without any regrets.
It had taken so long to accomplish, this goal, but it had been so incredibly worth the effort. They had shared laughs, quick kisses under what would have been the moonlight had they been free, innocent moments that the lolita wanted to last a lifetime. Celestia had begun to simply crave the warmth of the sleuth in her arms, to share more of those delicate moments together that so carefully ebbed away at her pain.
All seemed to be going perfect by this point. She was certain things had gotten better, that life had finally started to fall into her favour, that the icy talons of grief had finally started to loosen their grip around her heart & allow springs warmth to make its way through the collected ice...
Yet here she stood: tied to the stake as flames danced around her.
Alone.
"I care for you far too much to permit you to further any harm that may be done onto you, Kyouko. Say what you will, do as you wish, mon cher. But do know that when the ties that bind us grow loose... that you are free to slip away into happiness." Solemn & soft a tone to match words of bittersweet origin, Celestia's smile remained plastered upon her face without any sign of leaving. Perhaps it was foolish of her to continue on with this trivial conversation, her claims of truth seemed like mere bothersome annoyances to the girl of stoic reservation.
The mere hour prior to her binding was such a bittersweet one. The admittance of her truths, the acceptance of the fact that, despite how much she may have protested, that she was to be led to her death, her final moments with the detective were far from pleasant.
But was she even truly phased by what she spoke of? She was hurt from the trial, her silver tongues words cutting through that seemingly stoic barrier with fatal accuracy, so would she truly pay any mind to the near begging choice in speech from her lover? Ah- was she even still in possession of the right to refer to the detective in such a manner? Surely something within the other screamed out that this was no person to bother with anymore, that she should leave & never return to her ever again. The mere thought of which churned the gamblers stomach slightly...
"You claim to care & yet you still went ahead & fell into the Masterminds plans. You realize that by doing such a thing after learning of the consequences, that your 'care' comes off as nothing, as meaningless. I don't understand why you have the need to lie in your final moments, Taeko," A pause was given as Kirigiri slowly inhaled, a small attempt at calming her shot nerves & keeping her voice from trembling as she pushed herself forward.
"You need not lie to me now, Taeko. I would prefer it if the last things we say to one another be in wholehearted truth for once."
To be met with Kirigiri's softening gaze easily prompted Celestia's full attention, her own orbs of siam widening ever so slightly as she peered back into those of lavander tinge. Pain was evident, yet the slight change in her look did issue a bit of a welcome sign. Soft, gentle, yet still noticabley pricked by the thorns of betrayal. If anything, the ravenette was succeeding in some sort of reassurance, but just what extent exactly she wasn't fully aware of.
"It's difficult to believe one whom has developed their entire life around various lies & the like, that much I do know. But I can also tell you that there's something wrong with complete divergence from the topic at hand. I am telling you the truth right now, Kirigiri, that I don't wish to harm you any further than I already have with the events of the trial. I know that I've done some irreputable things, I know that I do not deserve you trust whatsoever because of everything that's gone on today, but I really, really do wish to apologize for it all." Telling the utmost of truth never was Celestia's strong point, she had grown so used to fabrication of the past & emotional senses to where the smallest telling of how she truly felt had made her feel as if she were being watched by the world, all awaiting for her to fail. & Fail she would, unfortunately. The Gods had no say over her social connectivity & it's luck, she was, unfortunately, blessed only with the trivial success of her beloved games.
"-But, the two of us have essentially been through everything together. I cannot fully believe that you could let all this go to waste in our final moments. I mean- You know the games I play when & the words I say when I want my own way. You know the lies I tell, the venom I spew into the open for any & all to succumb to... I don't want to hurt you. At least, I do not wish to hurt you any longer, Kyouko. Not when we've faced hell & back at one anothers sides during our time here within Hopes Peak."
A soft sigh came to pass Kirigiri's lips as she listened to Celestia, her shoulders squared, chin tilted upward at a slight angle- almost regally- as the other begged. Her moral conscience told her not to succumb to the ravenette's words, yet the other, the one that loved her with it's entirety, wanted to offer forgiveness, even a sense of understanding despite the severity of the situation. She was stuck indefinitely between a proper response.
"Taeko, you should know yourself that there are certain things in life that cannot simply be forgiven at the drop of a hat. You are single-handedly responsible not only for the murder of two of our classmates, but you have also put the lives of every other student stuck between these walls at risk for executions should the trial not have been successful in finding you guilty. Not only would Naegi & the others die whilst you moved on in wealth & freedom, you'd have lost me as well. I've got your voice on repeat in my head, 'together forever', that's what you said, is it not, Taeko? You took back your promise & gave it straight to the mastermind the moment you proceeded in betraying us all. I cannot forgive you. I may love you, but forgiveness is something I cannot ever give you."
In all honesty, Celestia was expecting a frequent use of her birthname, yet it still felt like a blow to her heart the moment it left the detective's lips. It was a reminder that her own facade was what did her in, that her lies built up over the years & the greed that filled the remaining voids in her heart all had finally concocted the potion needed for her demise. Inhaling sharply, the gambler could feel the sharp sting of tears edging their way forward, threatening to spill should more callousness be presented. Bitter, practically seething with it's apparent irritance, for the first time in her short knowing of Kirigiri, her name been issued in such a negative manner.
A garden of the sweetest, most beautiful roses couldn't be blamed when the smaller, more insignificant flowers suffocated under their vines weight & were left in a cramped abyss to decompose & fuel the roses own growth. There was always death, betrayal within the natural world. The prettiest of things would come out on top, but only if they fought for what they rightfully deserved & eliminated the competition around them. There was no true right or wrong in nature, only tales of success & survival. Death & the like were completely unavoidable in the long run. If one didn't have to fight for what they possessed or for life itself, then they had most likely ended up watching another do just that.
Did the rose feel remorse when the humble baby's breath that was raised alongside it decomposed by it's stem? Did the rose feel upset in any manner when a bushel of fellow roses was crushed, shredded, & stomped upon by the careless gardener? Did the rose feel fear for their own life? No- a rose would simply embrace the very way life was & continue on as if nothing else in it's universe mattered. A rose would just grow stronger. A rose merely continued on with it's very life rather than spend time worrying over nothing.
Celestia realized that, perhaps a bit too late, that she was the filler flower whilst Kirigiri was the rose.
"I understand completely, Kyouko," Celestia said with a submissive bow of her head. "-& I will not ask for forgiveness any longer. I apologize, however, for failing to keep the promises I made to you, for not realizing until you brought it up that I had not only endangered my own life, but yours as well. Your life has been the most important thing to me since my enrollment within this godawful academy. You alone have been the reason that I've been capable of rising out of bed in the morning & actually attempting to participate in all the day has to offer. You truly are the sole reason, Kyouko Kirigiri, that I've felt anything other than fear, anger, & sadness whilst trapped in this otherwise hellish environment. You have brought me the rare treat of happiness, love, & an ever lingering feeling of not only hope, but that everything will be okay. To think that I've failed you in such a manner is an absolute disgrace to everything I've been trying to stand for during this entire ordeal. I've no reason to have ever called you mine, Kirigiri, if I cannot even keep your life valued over my dream of wealth. I am a failure to you, to this academy, & a mere pawn to the Masterminds grand plan in the long run, aren't I? But, it's been stated that you will not have to worry about dealing with a treacherous fools such as myself any longer, at least. I bid you adieu, Kirigiri, & I do hope that we will meet again in the next life. I can assure you that I will be waiting on the other side should you ever wish to join me."
Perhaps it was just a spurr of the moment thing, but normally calm & collected Kirigiri could practically feel something snap within her. Sucking in a sharp breath, the detective essentially let out a soft growl before replying.
"Am I the epitome of everything you've hated, Taeko? Is this why you've betrayed me so? I gave you nothing but the best I could within these goddamn walls & yet here we are, you facing death & me facing the loss of a loved one. Is this what you've wanted, Taeko Yasuhiro, Queen of Liars? To harm that which you supposedly adored more than anything in this world? If so, well I'll be honest, you've succeeded wonderfully. It's almost a tad bit frightening to know that you were so easily able to grow blind to the morals you supposedly possessed. It's almost a shame that I fell so hard for someone such as yourself. It is a goddamn shame that I ever gave you the time of day only to get my heart broken so abruptly by you, Taeko. It's a complete & utter shame, this entire thing we had,"
A pause was given, followed by a rolling of her shoulders. "-& yet I regret next to nothing of it. The way you made my heart flutter so violently with passion & admiration, the way my breath would catch in my chest the very moment those gorgeous eyes would meet my own, the way your saccharine voice would haunt my thoughts even when we were apart... I regret none of it. I couldn't ever regret nor forget the beautiful moments & memories we've shared together. Yes, you've torn me apart inside & lost a substantial amount of my trust by betraying me & the others like the way you have, but that won't ever change the fact I love you & have loved you with the entirety of my heart & soul, Taeko. You have meant more to me during our time together than I can honestly say my own family has. As silly as it sounds, I can truly say that you, Taeko, have taught me two valuable lessons in life: to love & to trust. So thank you, despite the unfortunate event that is to come & seperate us, for teaching me enough to change my way of thought to some degree, my love. Thank you for taking the time to make me feel a bit more whole As for seeing me in the next life... you can guarentee that I'll come running to you with open arms the very moment I pass over."
A weak smile flitted across the gamblers lips for a split second, disppearing as quick as it arrived. The detectives words gave her some degree of hope, yes, but they also tore down the already damaged barrier she had left. The tears that threatened to spill just moments ago now flowed free, tumbling down porcelain cheeks in streams, cascading down to stain precious black velvet & lace. God, how the lolita hated to cry in front of others, to show any signs of the weakness that she bottled so swiftly. To show weakness was to fall victim to torment, to various potential insults that a girl of her atttempted caliber should never face. In truth, Celestia was a weak, weak, girl compared to others of her age & expereince. Yet she hid this so easily, so damagingly, behind a cheerful facade that only ever shifted into the purest of unadulterated rage when the time presented itself to her.
Ah, rage couldn't even come to a rolling boil within her blackened heart this time around. She hadn't exactly gotten her way this time, & yet the fires seemed fearful, suppressed even under the weight of sadness...
The true extent of her fate had begun to sink in.
Never again past this point would the Queen of Liars hold a card in her hands. Never would she hear the voice of reason from her detective partner, never again would she enjoy the sweet yet strong taste of her beloved royal milk tea. All that she held close & cherished would no longer be of any use to her after today. In death, one could not relish the subtleties in life others would pass over like nothing, & this was something that the normally cool hearted girl couldn't come to full terms with just yet.
"..Kirigiri?" The gambler choked out, "Just what do you think the afterlife is like?"