How (Not) To Save a Life
A/N: Special thanks to SOVEREIGN LORD OF CHAOS for the help with the ending, and to my amazing beta reader Loopy One. You guys rock!
"You're a fucking jerk!" Tori shouts, storming into the room.
"I care about her." Jade states, following her with Cat at her heels.
"So do I, but there's better ways to go about this!"
"You guys, stop fighting! " Cat screeches, tears streaming from her eyes.
Lane had called Tori into his office about three minutes ago, and at this point wished he hadn't. "STOP!" He shouts, dropping his head into his hands. "Jade, Cat, leave."
Cat steps outside, looks to Jade, who doesn't budge, then shuts the door.
"I'm not leaving."
"Get her the fuck away from me." Tori grunts, snarling her teeth at Jade.
"Jade, give Tori some space." Lane insists, keeping a calm tone.
"No! I'm not leaving her side, okay?" She takes a seat.
After realizing the slim possibility of Jade leaving, Lane gives in and lets her stay. "Will someone just tell me what's going on?"
"Cat has a crush on my girlfriend, that's what's going on." Tori states.
"She's-"
"One at a time!" Lane interrupts. "…Tori, you start. Go from the top."
Tori sighs. She was stuck here with Jade, and Lane wasn't getting rid of her. "Cat was hanging with us today; you know, me, Jade, Beck, Robbie, and Andre, and she forgot it was her boyfriend's birthday. He blamed us, her friends, for her forgetfulness, and basically asked her to choose between us or him. Cat willingly chose on her own to stay with us. Now she's all upset, and everyone's been trying to cheer her up all day, but the only person she lets anywhere near her is Jade. Now she wants Jade to spend the night, after Jade and I already had plans to stay at my house-
"Things change. She's fucking cutting herself!" Jade exasperates. "All you wanted was sex!"
"Jade, it's not your turn!" Lane scolds, clearly uncomfortable with the two already "…go ahead Tori."
"Thanks. And… yeah maybe the plans we had were intimate, but it doesn't matter what we were going to do; Jade promised she'd spend the night with me. I knew Cat felt bad too, so I suggested we all have a sleep over; watch funny movies, eat popcorn, and help Cat get over her break up. Together. Cat insists on being with just Jade though. She says she needs her, but that doesn't mean that I don't. I told Jade straight to her face that I didn't want her spending the night alone with Cat."
"And she said?" Lane prompts.
"She said Cat was more important."
"I did not!" Jade scowls.
"Those were her words exactly." Tori claims.
Lane puts his hand up, signaling Jade to stop as she's about to say something again. "Jade, did you say that to Tori?" He asks.
She's about to deny it, but takes a breath. "W-well I did, but it didn't come out as I meant it." Jade admits.
"Who cares what you-"
"TORI!" Lane scolds. "Enough! Either of you speak out of turn again, and see what happens."
They look at each other briefly, both wondering what would happen but neither willing to test it.
"…continue, Jade." Lane instructs.
"What I meant was that Cat's situation was more of a dire need at the time. She doesn't have a lot of friends to begin with, and that boy meant everything to her. It's not my fault she needed my comfort, but she did. She needed someone to cling to. She gave up her relationship for us, for fuck sakes. If I just abandoned her, it would prove she made the wrong decision if her friend can't be there for her just because of her girlfriend's insecurities."
"Oh you wanna talk to me about-"
Lane holds up a spray bottle, pointing it warningly at Tori. She instantly shuts her mouth, and Lane puts the bottle down.
"I just think it's important for Cat to get over this and feel better." Jade continues. "And now that Cat doesn't have a boyfriend, Tori thinks Cat's going to steal me from her."
"Tori?"
She shrugs awkwardly. "Yeah." Tori says. "I'm not too happy about the fact that Cat wants to spend time alone with my girlfriend."
"And have you told Jade you're uncomfortable with it?" Lane questions.
"Yes. I have." She says.
"Jade, is this true?"
"It's true…" Jade murmurs. "I knew she had her insecurities. Just as she knew how I felt about her taking Robbie out on Valentine's Day."
"Oh com'on! He was desperate, and I felt bad. It's not like he's attractive. We've been over this a hundred times!"
"Fact of matter is he was a friend in need of comforting, and you spent all day with him when you should have been with me. What makes this so different?" Jade accuses.
"For one, Robbie's a boy. And you've told me before what you think about Cat."
"That was before we got together!" Jade reasons.
"Tori, do you think Jade still has feelings for Cat?" Lane questions, and the two almost forgot he was still there.
The room falls silent, as Tori contemplates on the subject.
"No." She finally says. "I know Jade didn't mean it when she said Cat was more important. I know how Jade feels about me. I know I take precedence over everything in her world, and Cat needs to understand that. I'm happy Cat didn't ignore us for that jerk of a boyfriend she had. I really do care about her, and I want to make her feel better in a way that doesn't tear me and Jade apart. She needs to realize that every time something happens, she can't just go running into Jade's arms for protection. I get this is a special circumstance, but Cat needs to learn now that I'm more important to Jade than she is."
"Jade?"
Jade perks up. Her head was down, and she was previously lost listening to her girlfriends claim.
She looks to Tori, who didn't make eye contact. She then looks towards Lane, who raised his eyebrows rather than repeat himself, suggesting she give her response.
"Of course you mean everything to me Tori." Jade was nearly crying now. She regains her poise. "I love Cat, but only as a friend. You have to put yourself in her shoes though; if you were going through something like this, you'd want to be with someone you trust. Cat lost the person she trusts the most, now she's come to me. She needs someone to cling to, and hold, and I wish the three of us could all get along, but Cat's afraid of you Tori."
"Tori?" Lane prompts.
She waits, but doesn't stall as long as her girlfriend. She knew how she felt, and nothing Jade could say would change that, or make her feel bad about it. "I'm not a scary person." Tori says. "The only reason she'd have to be afraid of me is if she really does have feelings for Jade."
"Try to think of what she's going through!" Jade outbursts. "When you came in here, you were yelling at me to get out. You said that you needed your space. You weren't happy with me at the moment, and you didn't want my comfort even when I offered it. She doesn't want your comfort, and she doesn't want anyone else's. I'm sorry that it has to be me, but I'm the only one who can protect her right now."
It was established that Cat wasn't in the best of mood, but up until now Tori hadn't contemplated Cat may hurt herself far worse than she already has.
"Okay." She breaths, a tear falling from her eye. "I get why Cat needs you. And if you really, really believe right now that she needs you more than I do right now, then maybe I was wrong about being the most important thing in your life."
"T-Tori!" Jade stutters.
"Just go Jade. But look me in the eyes first, and tell me I don't feel just as hurt and abandoned right now as she is."
The pressure from her arm causes her wounds to peel open, and fresh blood begins to trickle out.
Jade's eyes widen as she notices Tori's arm. Before she can respond, a phone rings.
The girls, and Lane, are startled by the device. Lane picks up the phone on his desk.
"Slow down, I can't- … who? … She's where? You need to slow down and speak clearer, I can't-" Lane's face pales.
"What?"
Jade, as well as Tori, was watching and listening to the conversation. Lane hangs up the phone.
"What" Jade repeats, her tone fearful.
"I have to go." Lane shoots up, and starts out the door.
Jade stands too, but Lane puts his hand up.
"You girls stay here, DON'T MOVE, do you understand? I don't want either of you to leave this room, do I make myself clear?"
But before either could agree to his terms, he slams the door behind him and takes off.
There was a silence about the room, and Tori avoided eye contact with her girlfriend. They were both thinking the same thing, but neither wanted to admit it aloud.
"…this is your fault." Jade concludes somberly; her arms crossed and head to the ground.
Tori sits upright, and give her an offended look. "It is not. How can you blame me, she's almost eighteen. She the same age as we are, she's capable of making her own decisions, even the wrong ones."
"Not you!" Jade grunts. "This is my fault. I should have left with her, made sure she was okay. Obviously she's not."
"We don't know if she's in any sort of danger! We don't know if it was her Lane was referring to." Tori points out.
"Something isn't right." Jade mumbles. "You saw his face before he hung up, something serious is happening."
She then looks to Tori's wrists. They were covered now, but she could still imagine the bloodied marks on the other side.
Tori was hurting; Jade understood that. She knew she had to be there for her girlfriend, but what about her best friend? Lane said not to move, but the fact alone only added to her suspicions. Faculty never want to draw attention to fatal injuries, but the way Lane was talking to them, it seemed like he was trying to avoid conflict from starting.
A siren blares behind them, and Jade bursts out the doors.
Jade saw her, didn't she? Didn't she care? No, Jade definitely saw the hurt she was going through, yet still she ignores it and goes for Cat. Cat… when did she start becoming a higher priority than Tori? They may not have a perfect relationship, but Tori loved her.
Tori takes a blade from her purse. She knew now wasn't the time, but Jade had left her alone and she needed to release the tension. Just a little bit. Just enough to make her forget about how hurt she was at the moment.
The slits run across her veins. She hits one quickly, and instantly the blood begins to from her. Maybe Cat wasn't in any sort of danger. Maybe she was only upset at the beginning, and was already starting to get over it. Her boyfriend dumped her; it was a terrible thing to happen, and a low point, but could it get much worse from there?
Tori was sleepily pulling the blade across her other arm now, dragging it across her skin as her thoughts consumed her.
The door slams against the wall as it opens. Jade is standing in the doorway, fists clenches, and makeup streaming down her face.
"I hope you're happy with yourself!"
Tori doesn't move, respond, react, nothing.
Jade steps inside and shuts the door behind her.
"Don't fucking act like you don't hear me. Cat's not okay. She's far from okay. You can pretend she's fine and I'm worrying for nothing and everything will just blow over… you can pretend, but you can't ignore it."
Jade then steps around the couch when Tori still won't answer her.
"For fuck sakes, will you-"
Jade grasps Tori's jaw and forces Tori to look at her. Tori's eyes are shut.
She'd just witnessed her best friend; knocked out on the bathroom floor surrounded by a pool of blood. Jade was nearly scared to death when her eyes fall to the mess on Tori's wrists and palms.
She takes the knife from Tori's hand. She's seen the marks on Tori's wrists countless times, but none this severe. Jade's mind races trying to come up with an explanation; but all she could think was how guilty Tori must have felt, or… betrayed.
"Tori." Her voice cracks. Jade's legs gave to the point where she lost her balance and fell clumsily to her knees. She stared at the reddened arms in front of her through her blurred eyes.