Lost Hearts
Chapter 1
Deuce's POV
"Goodbye Ty". The words hung in the air, I turned around and walked to the door and counted down from 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. Come on Ty, prove me wrong and fight for me. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. I shake my head and smile bitterly, I knew he wouldn't fight for me, no matter how much I really wished he would, it's just not going to happen. I opened the door and I feel arms wrap around me.
"Don't go", he whispers, one hand closes the door and the other wraps around me, I whimper, I know I should leave, I know I deserve better than this… "I love you", he whispers and I feel the tears fall. Here we go again, I could just feel myself melt at his words but are they really genuine? I fight back against my tears willing myself not to cry, I don't want him to see me weak. His arms are wrapped around me again, I'm so close to breaking down and it's taking all of my will to not start sobbing like the emotional wreck that is me. I bite my lip and let the tears fall without making a sound, he hugs me tighter and I finally lose it. I feel him turn me around and hold me in his arms but that makes me cry even harder, no matter how close we are I always feel the distance between us. He squeezes me, "I love you Deuce", and he picks me up in his arms, we make our way to the bed, he puts me down and then he holds me tightly. He strokes my hair, he wipes away my tears and he kisses me while I just hold onto him tightly and cry.
Damn it, I did the one thing I said I wouldn't do. Even though I held on to him, I still felt lost as the questions of the past swirled in my mind. Was Ty cheating on me? Would he cheat on me? Does he love me? Am I just his sex toy? Why am I so pathetic? Why am I so insecure?
I'm tempted to ask Ty hoping for some answers but, I don't want to seem needy and clingy, but then again if I don't get some answers soon, I might just lose my mind. I cry even harder, why I had to fall in love with Ty of all people is still beyond me. We've been together for 9 months now and I still wonder why he puts up with me , we both know that he can do way better than me so why is he here? Why? Why? Why!? I can't help but want to ask Ty for a list of reasons why he loves me, but I'm so scared of how short the list might be. God why am I so fucking needy?
Again, no answer, what do I do now? Do I run or do I just suck it up and deal? Follow your heart Deuce, what does it tell you to do? I think about my answer, my heart tells me…it tells me to get out while I can or else it might be too late. Well if I'm going out, I'm going out with a bang. I sit up and look Ty in the eye, he seemed curious and confused, and I leaned in crashing our lips together. We rolled over, my arms latching on to his neck and he grinded into me. He took off my shirt and my pants were next, finally he undressed himself and we were both naked. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he looked me in the eye as he pulled out the lube, after lubing me up he lined up with my entrance and shoved it in. I gasp, his erection hitting me there, he moved in and out, working up a rhythm that made me tingle. Ty got rougher and faster, hitting me in that spot, I couldn't help but moan loudly and neither could he. Ty grabbed my face and looking me in the eye, he told me he loved me. We kissed and with a few more thrusts I was finally there. I arched my back and closing my eyes, I climaxed, the weightlessness, the tingling and the overall pleasure was amazing, just like my first time without all the pain. Ty cried out and climaxed as well but he kept thrusting in and out of me.
I got up and went to take a shower with Ty right behind me, the water was warm and I let it run over my face, hiding the tears that were resurfacing. Ty started to wash my back and pulled me against him. He just held me and I was really grateful for the water hiding my tears, I felt so safe and being in his arms felt so right. "Ty, I'm ready for round 2". That's all it took, he entered me again and I gasp, I put both my hands on the wall as Ty shoved in and out in fast paced movements. I push back meeting his thrusts and I knew I was close and as if reading my mind, Ty wrapped his hands around my erection and started to pump me. I couldn't take anymore, I yelled his name as I climaxed again with him following suit. After climaxing, we finally started to clean ourselves; once we were done we went to bed spooning. I was drifting to sleep when I hear Ty whisper something, "I love you Deuce, sweet dreams." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck falling asleep. I was again ready to cry but I didn't want to wake Ty so I just bit my lip and let the tears fall, finally falling asleep. When I woke up, I knew it was time to go, now or never. I tried to get up but Ty held me tighter, more tears fell, I really wanted to stay but I knew I couldn't so I moved his hands. I put on all of my clothes and went to the bathroom looking into the mirror at my reflection. My normally spiky hair was soft and laid flat and hit my eyebrows, my eyes were tired and red, wet my face and left the bathroom. I took another look at Ty, he so peaceful when he was asleep and I wanted to be in his arms, I kiss him on the forehead and left his bedroom, I grabbed the letter I wrote almost 2 months ago now out of my pocket and put it on his coffee table. Using the key he gave me to his place, I locked his door and left.
After a ten minute walk I finally arrived at the subway, after paying my fare I grabbed a train on my way home. I put on my headphones and listened to Aaliyah's I don't wanna on repeat just thinking about Ty, I put on my head and looked down as my tears fell.