Letters Never Read
Peter logged on to the nets. He checked the news servers, and read several of the most up-to-date stories. Most of them were about Ender. Peter wondered if Ender had ever read any of the articles himself. If he thought it was funny the way they praised him; the Destroyer of Worlds, Conqueror of the Formics? To these news-writers Ender was a living god. To Peter Ender was just his little brother.
He knew that they would never talk again; he to Ender or to Valentine, for they were both on a one-way-ticket trip to colonize the bugger worlds. But when Peter went to check his messages there it was: a letter from Ender.
For a moment Peter wondered what Ender might say to him. Of course it would be bad. But other than that he had no idea. He opened the letter and began to read…
Hello Peter. It's been a long time. Yet though I have not seen you in years I think of you every day. I remember how you used to get the best of me. But this time we won. Me and Val, we beat you Peter.
… Ender
It wrenched something inside of him; the harshness with which Ender regarded him. The boy who seemed to love everybody hated his own brother.It was his own fault, Peter realized, that both Ender and Valentine thought he was nothing but a cold, calculating schemer who loved nothing except himself. He had gone to great lengths never to show them anything else.
He had been called every name imaginable since taking his alias Locke, and writing his columns on the news nets; and all those times he had never blinked, never blushed, never even cared. But this time those words hadn't come from an anonymous nobody. They had come from Ender. And this time it hurt. It hurt bad.
It was hard for him to think of crying. He couldn't ever remember having done it in his life, except for when it would prove to be useful. His tears were just another form of manipulation, a machine that could be turned on or off as he wished. But these tears that rolled down his cheeks as he sat in his room staring blankly into his desk weren't ever going to help him. They were not part of his act. For the first time ever they reflected nothing but honest emotion.
Peter hit the Reply button on his key-board. Then he began to write…
Ender I know you don't believe me, but I've grown up a lot since we last met. It seems as if we were destined to do great things, you and I: The famous Wiggin Brothers, huh? You've defeated the enemy of the human race. You saved the world. And me? I'm saving the Earth.
By the way tell Val I said thank you for all of her help. I don't think I ever did.
You wouldn't believe how much we all miss you guys. Good luck wherever you go and with whatever you do. I hope you'll keep in touch, and think of me as a brother instead of a monster.
Peter paused for a moment. Then he wrote the last four words.
I love you, Ender.
Then he sat and read over his work. He enjoyed a sad and private smirk to himself. It was ironic. He'd been totally honest. No masquerade. No act. For the first time ever Peter Wiggin had truly revealed himself. And if Ender ever read this letter he'd know. He would see Peter for what he truly was… scared. And that's why Ender would never be allowed to read it, and why Peter would never send it.
He highlighted everything within the frame and cleared the page.
Later on he went to the kitchen to get something to eat. But even before he came in he could hear his mother quietly sobbing. Ender leaving had been hard, so for years no one had mentioned his name. But now… Now he was famous and you could hardly get out your door without having to read his name at least twice.
Peter knew that his mother kept a copy of one of Demosthenes' letters close at hand. It was the one Valentine had written for Ender. The most noble title a child could have is Third. Those words were very close to his mother's heart. Especially now.
Ender had beaten the buggers, and Mother had believed that since the Formics were gone Ender would be coming home. But he was not. Instead Valentine had taken off too. Mother had taken it very hard. So now she was balling her eyes out here in the kitchen.
Peter felt overcome with emotion for this poor woman who had loved each of her children so much. It was unbearable for him. He marched straight into the kitchen.
"Oh! Hello Peter," she said, quickly whipping her tears away, and giving him a fake smile. "You just surprised me that's all." Her eyes were blood-shot and her cheeks were flush.
Thank you Ender. You've given me a purpose today. Unfortunately you didn't need me to say it to you. You're much too strong for that now. This is the person who needs to hear it.
"I love you, Mom," Peter said.