New fic, but only a short one - it'll only be about 5 chapters.
I've taken ideas and snippets from Lana Del Rey – Carmen, if you haven't listened to this song, I urge you to, it's so brilliant! And I felt like I could totally relate it to Carlas life when thinking back to her past and such. This little piece I've written isn't what the song is actually getting at at all, but I just thought I could take the part about her having a problem and apply it to writing this piece. It's a bit depressing and not my best, but I really wanted to write Carla in despair. Hope it's alright. I've been in such a creative mood, I've already got the next chapter written for you – well, if you want it that is!

Reviews and loved and appreciated, let me know what you think
x

Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem. Lying to herself, 'cause her liquors top shelf.

She hid the empty bottle of vodka that she'd quickly powered her way through, in one of the drawers of her desk. The unpleasant noise of it hitting all the other bottles lying in the draw echoed slightly through the hollow office.

She did not have a problem. Carla Connor did not have a drink problem.

She was lying to herself, along with everyone else around her. It wasn't her fault they believed her so quickly, she told herself. She made it look easy, made it look like drinking was just for fun. She glugged her way through at least one bottle of red every night, before heading over to the Rovers where she would consume much more of whichever poison took her fancy that night.

She didn't even need to try to fool anyone; she made sure she looked presentable, made sure there were no obvious signs of her being the complete mess that in reality she was. The reality that was fighting its hardest to break free from the confines of her thick make up; her disguise.

It wasn't like she was drinking for no reason. She'd been through more than most people had in her 37 years, things she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.

Brought up from the gutter, a drug addicted mother and an alcoholic father; no one could blame her for the way she'd turned out.

But no, it wasn't even that.

She had fought her way up, battling to overcome the people who were supressing her to be nothing more than a failure.

She had succeeded.

She married Paul, she was presentable, people admired her looks along with her determination. She was a star compared to her former self, shining brighter than she ever had before.

But lightning struck her, being in love with your Brother in law is never going to be easy when you think about it.. But she couldn't help it. Even when she was with Paul, she knew she wanted Liam. Liam had no idea of his sister in laws underlying feelings for him; all he knew was that together they were like two peas in a pod. They always had a laugh, they were always the last ones standing and they were always the last two up at the end of the night, still going on the Jack Daniels.

One of her ever faithful friends these days..

She remembered on one of their very drunken nights that they had agreed if/when Carla had a kid she would have to call him Jack Daniel Connor, just out of respect for the drink that always bought them so close. She remembered grinning, imagining this kid, 'Jack'. But she didn't imagine this baby being part of the marriage she shared. This baby would never be hers and Pauls. She imagined him having the dark hair that they both shared, a cross between her green eyes and his blue orbs. God, if her and Liam ever had a child, he would be one beautiful little thing!

Things couldn't have got better for Carla, at one point, she had Liam in her bed, the factory was theirs to share, she was loving it. But things can't stay happy for ever can they? Twists and turns occurred and she ended up watching the secret love of her life. The one and only love of her life, Liam Connor, be ripped away from her, from the very man she was supposed to marry..

Well, she never expected a normal life, did she?

It wasn't enough to lose her husband only a mere few months before. No, every bit of her happiness must be stripped away from her.

Did she not deserve happiness?

This is why she was wandering around Coronation Street, stumbling over her own feet, struggling to stand. She was drinking to fill the hole, the void that Liam had left, the gaping wound that nothing else could heal. She almost laughed at how pathetic she felt. As she staggered across the cobbles, attempting to make it home in her drunken capacity, she let her mind wander to how she used to be. It was around the time she'd met the fateful Connor family, just when she had got on her feet properly.

She remembered walking through the streets back then; she almost glided with her new found confidence, her power increasing with each stride she took. The polar opposite of her state right now. She remembered glancing at everyone who passed her - she always caught their eyes, boys and girls alike. There wasn't one person who could say no to her when she batted her eyelids, making false promises to anyone who would listen. She had everyone in the palm of her hand, her strong mind and cheeky giggle was enough to give anyone butterflies. She loved the control she had gained.

But now, at 37, she was a shadow.

Nothing more than a drunk.

She was screaming inside, screaming for help. She was tired, that flare and sparkle she once had was gone. Her, the star, had faded away. Or been washed away, by her beloved booze. She may as well be dying, that was what it felt like.

There was no one here to save her any more.

She had nothing.

The days passed by and each day she did the same routine. She got dressed, making sure she looked as glamorous as ever, applying her lipstick with precision and care. She had to face the world, face the music.

Every day she plastered on her smile, just waiting for a chance to slip away and drink herself into a stupor, imagining what her life could've been like with Liam. The paradise she wished for every single waking moment, and sleeping moment too actually.

But that was a paradise she would never be able to live in. She was alone now, relying on only the strangers around her.

Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem..