Hi people, this is my first and possibly only LOST fanfiction... It's just a funny type of thing, there's some CharliexClaire fluff, and some slight Sayid bashing... Anyways, enjoy! :)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own LOST, or Ice Ice Baby!
Ice Ice Baby
Charlie walked past Sawyer's tent one sunny day on the island, humming the tune to 'Ice Ice Baby' by Vanilla Ice under his breath. Sawyer cocked his head to the side, listening, then popped his head out of the tent flap.
"Hey, VH1 Has-been," he yelled, and Charlie whirled around.
"I told you to stop calling me that!"
"Whatever," Sawyer said, rolling his eyes. "You were humming that song wrong."
Charlie's eyes widened and then he laughed.
"Oh... You were joking. Good one, Sawyer, I didn't know you were capable of humor..."
"No, I was completely serious." Sawyer stood up, exited the tent, and walked up to Charlie until he was nose-to-nose with the bass player. "Everyone with a brain knows that Ice Ice Baby goes 'doo doo doo doo DEE DEE doo doo', not 'DOO DOO doo DEE DEE DEE doo doo', as you were humming it."
"Yeah, maybe in your dreams!"
"I do not DREAM, I KNOW!" Sawyer yelled into Charlie's face.
"Your said knowlege is FALSE!" Charlie said loudly, poking Sawyer.
"Hey dudes," Hurley said happily, interrupting what was escalating into a near fistfight. "'Sup?"
"Oh, nothing," Charlie said nonchalantly. "Sawyer's just wrong... Again."
"No, it's that guy who's wrong!"
"Wrong about what?" Hurley asked, confused.
They explained the cause of their 'disagreement' to Hurley, who grinned.
"We'll solve this by having... A rap-off!" he said grandly.
"A what?" they both said disbeleivingly.
"You will both attempt to rap 'Ice Ice Baby' without any assistance," Hurley explained. "Whoever makes it farthest into the song without messups wins."
"Okay, Chuckie," Sawyer said menacingly, "you're on."
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Five minutes later they were all crowded in Sawyer's tent, 'they' being Hurley, Charlie, Sawyer, Jack, and Boone (with his iPod, a necessary tool to determine who could go the longest).
"Hey." Sayid opened the flap and attempted to walk inside.
"Whoa, whoa," Hurley said indignantly as he pushed Sayid back out. He bumped into Claire and they both faced Hurley. "No girls allowed!"
"But I just wanted to watc---"
"But I'm not a gir---"
"NO GIRLS ALLOWED!" Hurley yelled, forcefully yanking the flap across, leaving Claire to wonder what Hurley's problem was, and Sayid to walk away, thoroughly confused.
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"Okay," Boone said as he looked at the two competitors, iPod in hand. "Who wants to go first?"
"Me," Sawyer said confidently. Settling down on the ground, he began. "Alright stop, collaborate and listen, Ice is back with my brand-new invention, somethin' grabs a hold of me tightly, flow like a harpoon daily and nightly, will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know, turn of the power, and I'll glow, to the extre--"
"STOP!" Boone yelled. "Foul! Rejected! Sorry for ya!"
"Okay, shut up," Sawyer growled. "What'd I do wrong?"
"In the line 'turn of the lights and I'll glow' you said 'power' instead of 'lights'."
"Aw, COME ON!"
"Sorry," Boone shrugged. "Charlie, if you can get further then that, you win."
"Easy peasy lemon squeasy," Charlie said confidently. Boone looked questioningly at Sawyer.
"Don't look at me," he growled. "I don't know what his problem is."
"Alright stop, collaborate and listen," Charlie began. "Ice is back with my brand new invention, something grabs a hold of me tightly, flow like a harpoon daily and nightly, will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know, turn off the lights and I'll glow, to the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle, dance, go rush to the speaker that booms, I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom, deadly, when I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony, love it or leave it you better gain weight, ya better hit bull's eye, the kid don't play, if there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolves it..." Charlie smirked then sang-
"Ice, ice baby.... Vanilla ice, ice, baby..."
"Now that the party is jumping, with the bass kicked in and the vegas are pumpin', quick to the point to the point no faking, I'm burning MC's like a pound of baco---"
"Hold up," Boone said loudly. "Failure, epic failure. You said 'burning' when it's most definitely 'cooking'."
"Fine," Charlie said smugly. "But at least I got further then Sawyer, the loser." Sawyer growled and got quickly to his feet, glaring daggers at Charlie.
"Okay, blah, blah, Charlie's the big winner," Jack said, sounding bored. "I gotta go do some... Doctory stuff." He left, and Claire burst in.
"I thought I said no girls allowed?!" Hurley yelled, exasperated. Claire rolled her eyes.
"I just wanted to see who won the big rap-off," she said. "I had money on it with Kate."
"You bet on us?" Sawyer asked, sounding interested.
"Of course," Claire replied, smirking a smirk that was most unlike her. "Kate put fifty dollars, a papya, and two sticks of deodorant on Charlie."
"And I won!" Charlie crowed. "What did you bet on Sawyer?"
"I didn't bet anything on Sawyer.'
Sawyer, Charlie, Boone and Hurley all instantly adopted identical 'huh?' expressions.
"Then... What did you bet on?" Boone asked.
"I bet my pen, shoes, and a fish on myself."
"Hold up," Charlie said loudly. "Yourself? Are you challenging me?"
"Yep," Claire replied. "I want to see if I can get past the 'bacon' part without any messups."
"But... But..." Charlie stuttered.
"Are you afraid, Charlie Pace?"
"What, who, ME? No. No, of course not. You'll never beat me at this, this is a man's game!"
"We'll see," Claire smirked again. "Boone?"
"And... Go!"
"Alright stop, collaborate and listen," Claire started, after taking a deep breath. "Ice is back with my brand new invention, something grabs a hold of me tightly, flow like a harpoon daily and nightly, will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know, turn off the lights and I'll glow, to the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle, dance, go rush to the speaker that booms, I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom, deadly, when I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony, love it or leave it you better gain weight, ya better hit bull's eye, the kid don't play, if there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolves it..."
"Ice, ice baby.... Vanilla ice, ice, baby..."
"Now that the party is jumping, with the bass kicked in and the vegas are pumpin', quick to the point to the point no faking, I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon, burning them if you ain't quick and nimble, I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a hi-hat with a souped up tempo, I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo, rollin' in my 5.0, with my rag-top down so my hair can blow,the girlies on standby waving just to say hi, did you stop no I just drove by, kept on pursuing to the next stop, I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block, the block was dead yo, so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue, girls were hot wearing less than bikinis, rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis, jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine, Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine, reading for the chumps on the wall, the chumps acting ill because they're so full of eight balls, gunshots rang out like a bell, I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells, falling on the concrete real fast, jumped in my car slammed on the gas, bumper to bumper the avenue's packed, I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack, police on the scene you know what I mean,
they passed me up confronted all the dope fiends, if there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolves it..."
"Ice, ice baby.... Vanilla ice, ice, baby..."
Charlie's mouth dropped open, but Claire wasn't done yet.
"Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet, Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it, my town that created all the bass sound, enough to shake and kick holes in the ground, 'cause my style's like a chemical spill, feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel, conducted and formed,
this is a hell of a concept, we make it hype and you want to step with this, Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja, cut like a razor blade so fast other DJ's say damn, if my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram, keep my composure when it's time to get loose, magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice, if there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it, check out the hook while Shay revolves it..."
"Ice, ice baby.... Vanilla ice, ice, baby... Yo, man, let's get outta here... Word to your mother." Boone turned off the iPod. Charlie's mouth was open so far, it was a miracle it didn't just drop right off of his face.
"She did it," Boone said, shrugging.
"You... Beat me," Charlie said, disbelieving. Claire smiled nicely at him.
"Sorry it had to be so harsh," she said, "but I have to go find Kate. I really wanted that deodorant." She exited the tent, smiling back at Charlie one last time.
When he looked back on that fateful day, Charlie Pace would say that it was then, at that exact moment, that he fell a little bit in love.
Well, there it is! Sorry if there was any OOC-ness in there... Review! :)
:Hyperactive Lioness: