The Fic Where Nothings Right
.Or Something Like That
Written By: Jake Goldberg & Donny Knowles
Kaiba: I play the Blue-Eyes White Dragon!!! And now that you don't have Exodia and I paid Mokuba $10 to sneak into your house and rip up Kuriboh and Multiply. Nothing can stop me unless you pull a card you never had before and showed no indication of ever getting!!!
Yugi: I hate to disappoint you Kaiba-
Kaiba: SETO! JUST SETO! I WASN'T KAIBA ALL MY LIFE YOU KNOW!!! EVEN MOKUBA CALLED ME KAIBA ONCE!!! START CALLING ME SETO! SETO!!!
Yugi: .Yes. I hate to disappoint you "Seto", but I do have a card that falls into that particular category!!!
Kaiba: Damn it. an extra five bucks and Mokuba would have burned the whole deck.
Yugi: I activate. RAIGEKI!
Kaiba: *insert many loud curse words here*
Yugi: Now, I win!!!
Kaiba: How do you win?
Yugi: .you've ignored tributing your entire life and Joey plays fusion cards.
Joey: Leave me alone!!!
Yugi: OK. So I can play Raigeki and win! OK!? OK!? IS THAT OK WITH YOU!?
Kaiba: .no.
Yugi: .Look, I'll give you 5 bucks.
Kaiba: I LOSE!!!
Later That Day At Yugi's House Everyone Is Rejoicing Over Yugi's Win and Putting Up Crosses To keep "Huggling" Female Authors Away From the Yami's.
Tea: *hangs a cross* Why are we doing this again?
*Loud banging sounds on the door and the smell of cookies in the shape of the cast fill the room*
Yami Bakura: How come no one likes me? I'm the evil British guy! Everyone knows the girl always falls in love with the evil foreign guy! It's like the law! Come on!!!
Joey: Uh, Y.B., you're not British.
Yami Bakura: A minor detail I'm working on. If Bakura would just have the surgery.
Meanwhile, in Bakura's Cupboard.
Bakura: .Hello? . Hello? Is anyone there? .Yami? .Hello?
Back to Yugi's Place While Yugi Is Out of the Room.
Joey: Hmm. Hey! Yugi's wallet!
Tea: What did you say Joey?
Joey: uh. well. ya see. pickled squirrels in labor! *runs out of the room*
Tristen: If he was going to say something completely random he should has said something written better.
Co-Author Donny: *Moves his hand towards the delete button*
Tristen: . pigeons are lemons! *Runs*
Co-Author Donny: That's better.
Tea: Why did you do that?
Co-Author Donny: . Time to take a break. Co-Author Jake you take over.
Tea: Kaaaay.
Yami Bakura: Stupid mimphmuzzimufuhmimziham
Tea: Excuse me?
Yami Bakura: Canned Peas
Tea: I'm just gonna leave now. *exits room*
Yami Bakura: Must kill. must. KIIIIIILL!
Tea: *Runs*
Joey: *In new clothes and a gold chain around his neck* You're in a hurry Tea, what's wrong?
Tea: Yami Bakura scares me.
Yugi: He scares everyone Tea.
Yami: I'm just sippin' on some lemonade.
Joey: Where did you find that?
Yami: In the toilet.
All: *almost barf*
Co-Author Jake: Donny I'm gonna delete it okay?
All: NOOOOOOO!
Co-Author Donny: No.
All: *take deep relieving breath*
Co-Author Donny: You should at least wait until I get there.
All: Aaaaaaaaah!!!
Co-Author Jake: *hand on delete button*
Yugi: What's that screaming?
Joey: I think I wet my new pants.
Yugi: *Run's to window* Aaaaaah!
Tristen: Lemme guess Martians right?
Yugi: My eyes are violated.
Tristen: *Looks outside* Yugi there are at least a million fans stripping for you outside the window!
Yugi: Yeah, but most of them are men!
Tea: Lemme see.
Yugi: Noooooooo!
Tea: Why?
Yugi: Because you are my woman.
All (except Yugi and Tea): *Shudder*
Yami Bakura: *Bursts out the door* Braaaains! Must eat braaaains!
Joey: Hey I've still got some of Yugi's money let's go shopping!
All: What?
Joey:. Let's go shopping.
All: Okay.
Yami Bakura: First I've gotta stop by Bakura's house and get something.
Joey: Where is Bakura anyway?
Yami Bakura: . I . don't. know.
Joey: Good enough for me.
All: *Head downstairs*
Joey: Look at this crowd!
Yugi: I wish they were all gone.
Yami: Sausages make me nervous.
Yami Bakura: I can arrange that. with a little help from the shadow-
Yugi: NO. Remember what happened last time you summoned monsters from the shadow realm?
Yami Bakura: *Shifts his eyes around* Nooooooo..
Co-Author Jake: Boring. *Sends Virus*
Virus: Yum. Bakura. *tackles Yami Bakura*
Yami Bakura: Get away! Aaah *punches the virus and runs*
Virus: *Attacks Co-Author Jake*
Co-Author Jake: Aaaaaiiii!!!!
Co-Author Donny: . My turn!!!
Yami Bakura: I'm actually bored now. Hmm. I know. Oh Tea!!!
Tea: Yeah?
Yami Bakura: Want to do some self-improvement?
Tea: Last time you said that you made me eat everything in the frozen food aisle when you said it would make me popular! I couldn't fit through the door! And I'm still not off that rubber glue kick!
Yami: Well you made a good fan blocker.
Yami Bakura: Yes. well if you chew the telephone chord you'll. erm. just do it.
Tea: OK!!!
Yami: This is more dangerous then usual.
Yami Bakura: Yes. well. So? Maybe the electricity will change her brain wave from Full House Rerun to. a Simpson's rerun. A slight improvement but its still an improvement.
Yami: Can we make her a fan blocker later?
Yami Bakura: Fine with me.
Yami: Canned Cheese!
Yugi: Heeeeelp meeeeee! *gets pulled away by adoring fans*
Joey: I'll save ya Yu-
Co-Author Donny: Wait.Jake? How do you spell Yug?
Co-Author Jake: Aaaaaaah! It burns!
Co-Author Donny: Fine, I'll stop it *deletes virus*
Co-Author Jake: I dunno.. Lemme take over
Joey: *Runs through the crowd in a stupidly hopeless attempt to save Yugi*
Out of the crowd
Tea: Is everyone okay?
Yami: Giant bowl of sauerkraut!
Joey: They took my chain
Yugi: They took some of my hair *putting on a wig*
Yami Bakura: Nice Man-Eater Bug, Good Man-Eater Bug.
All: What?
Yami Bakura: Nothing.
Co-Author Donny: Well that's the end of part one. I would have been writing part 2 by now but Jake forgot about the story!
Co-Author Jake: *looks up from his comic book* Huhwha?
Co-Author Donny: Argh. Virus!
*Virus walks in with a telephone chord in his mouth*
Yami Bakura: *slowly backs out of the room*
Co-Author Jake: Get 'em!
Yami Bakura: Aaaaaiiii!!!
Co-Author Donny: *watches Jake chase Bakura out the window* . yeah. well. next time I'll add in some more characters. and. stuff. oh forget it. * umps out the window after them*
.Or Something Like That
Written By: Jake Goldberg & Donny Knowles
Kaiba: I play the Blue-Eyes White Dragon!!! And now that you don't have Exodia and I paid Mokuba $10 to sneak into your house and rip up Kuriboh and Multiply. Nothing can stop me unless you pull a card you never had before and showed no indication of ever getting!!!
Yugi: I hate to disappoint you Kaiba-
Kaiba: SETO! JUST SETO! I WASN'T KAIBA ALL MY LIFE YOU KNOW!!! EVEN MOKUBA CALLED ME KAIBA ONCE!!! START CALLING ME SETO! SETO!!!
Yugi: .Yes. I hate to disappoint you "Seto", but I do have a card that falls into that particular category!!!
Kaiba: Damn it. an extra five bucks and Mokuba would have burned the whole deck.
Yugi: I activate. RAIGEKI!
Kaiba: *insert many loud curse words here*
Yugi: Now, I win!!!
Kaiba: How do you win?
Yugi: .you've ignored tributing your entire life and Joey plays fusion cards.
Joey: Leave me alone!!!
Yugi: OK. So I can play Raigeki and win! OK!? OK!? IS THAT OK WITH YOU!?
Kaiba: .no.
Yugi: .Look, I'll give you 5 bucks.
Kaiba: I LOSE!!!
Later That Day At Yugi's House Everyone Is Rejoicing Over Yugi's Win and Putting Up Crosses To keep "Huggling" Female Authors Away From the Yami's.
Tea: *hangs a cross* Why are we doing this again?
*Loud banging sounds on the door and the smell of cookies in the shape of the cast fill the room*
Yami Bakura: How come no one likes me? I'm the evil British guy! Everyone knows the girl always falls in love with the evil foreign guy! It's like the law! Come on!!!
Joey: Uh, Y.B., you're not British.
Yami Bakura: A minor detail I'm working on. If Bakura would just have the surgery.
Meanwhile, in Bakura's Cupboard.
Bakura: .Hello? . Hello? Is anyone there? .Yami? .Hello?
Back to Yugi's Place While Yugi Is Out of the Room.
Joey: Hmm. Hey! Yugi's wallet!
Tea: What did you say Joey?
Joey: uh. well. ya see. pickled squirrels in labor! *runs out of the room*
Tristen: If he was going to say something completely random he should has said something written better.
Co-Author Donny: *Moves his hand towards the delete button*
Tristen: . pigeons are lemons! *Runs*
Co-Author Donny: That's better.
Tea: Why did you do that?
Co-Author Donny: . Time to take a break. Co-Author Jake you take over.
Tea: Kaaaay.
Yami Bakura: Stupid mimphmuzzimufuhmimziham
Tea: Excuse me?
Yami Bakura: Canned Peas
Tea: I'm just gonna leave now. *exits room*
Yami Bakura: Must kill. must. KIIIIIILL!
Tea: *Runs*
Joey: *In new clothes and a gold chain around his neck* You're in a hurry Tea, what's wrong?
Tea: Yami Bakura scares me.
Yugi: He scares everyone Tea.
Yami: I'm just sippin' on some lemonade.
Joey: Where did you find that?
Yami: In the toilet.
All: *almost barf*
Co-Author Jake: Donny I'm gonna delete it okay?
All: NOOOOOOO!
Co-Author Donny: No.
All: *take deep relieving breath*
Co-Author Donny: You should at least wait until I get there.
All: Aaaaaaaaah!!!
Co-Author Jake: *hand on delete button*
Yugi: What's that screaming?
Joey: I think I wet my new pants.
Yugi: *Run's to window* Aaaaaah!
Tristen: Lemme guess Martians right?
Yugi: My eyes are violated.
Tristen: *Looks outside* Yugi there are at least a million fans stripping for you outside the window!
Yugi: Yeah, but most of them are men!
Tea: Lemme see.
Yugi: Noooooooo!
Tea: Why?
Yugi: Because you are my woman.
All (except Yugi and Tea): *Shudder*
Yami Bakura: *Bursts out the door* Braaaains! Must eat braaaains!
Joey: Hey I've still got some of Yugi's money let's go shopping!
All: What?
Joey:. Let's go shopping.
All: Okay.
Yami Bakura: First I've gotta stop by Bakura's house and get something.
Joey: Where is Bakura anyway?
Yami Bakura: . I . don't. know.
Joey: Good enough for me.
All: *Head downstairs*
Joey: Look at this crowd!
Yugi: I wish they were all gone.
Yami: Sausages make me nervous.
Yami Bakura: I can arrange that. with a little help from the shadow-
Yugi: NO. Remember what happened last time you summoned monsters from the shadow realm?
Yami Bakura: *Shifts his eyes around* Nooooooo..
Co-Author Jake: Boring. *Sends Virus*
Virus: Yum. Bakura. *tackles Yami Bakura*
Yami Bakura: Get away! Aaah *punches the virus and runs*
Virus: *Attacks Co-Author Jake*
Co-Author Jake: Aaaaaiiii!!!!
Co-Author Donny: . My turn!!!
Yami Bakura: I'm actually bored now. Hmm. I know. Oh Tea!!!
Tea: Yeah?
Yami Bakura: Want to do some self-improvement?
Tea: Last time you said that you made me eat everything in the frozen food aisle when you said it would make me popular! I couldn't fit through the door! And I'm still not off that rubber glue kick!
Yami: Well you made a good fan blocker.
Yami Bakura: Yes. well if you chew the telephone chord you'll. erm. just do it.
Tea: OK!!!
Yami: This is more dangerous then usual.
Yami Bakura: Yes. well. So? Maybe the electricity will change her brain wave from Full House Rerun to. a Simpson's rerun. A slight improvement but its still an improvement.
Yami: Can we make her a fan blocker later?
Yami Bakura: Fine with me.
Yami: Canned Cheese!
Yugi: Heeeeelp meeeeee! *gets pulled away by adoring fans*
Joey: I'll save ya Yu-
Co-Author Donny: Wait.Jake? How do you spell Yug?
Co-Author Jake: Aaaaaaah! It burns!
Co-Author Donny: Fine, I'll stop it *deletes virus*
Co-Author Jake: I dunno.. Lemme take over
Joey: *Runs through the crowd in a stupidly hopeless attempt to save Yugi*
Out of the crowd
Tea: Is everyone okay?
Yami: Giant bowl of sauerkraut!
Joey: They took my chain
Yugi: They took some of my hair *putting on a wig*
Yami Bakura: Nice Man-Eater Bug, Good Man-Eater Bug.
All: What?
Yami Bakura: Nothing.
Co-Author Donny: Well that's the end of part one. I would have been writing part 2 by now but Jake forgot about the story!
Co-Author Jake: *looks up from his comic book* Huhwha?
Co-Author Donny: Argh. Virus!
*Virus walks in with a telephone chord in his mouth*
Yami Bakura: *slowly backs out of the room*
Co-Author Jake: Get 'em!
Yami Bakura: Aaaaaiiii!!!
Co-Author Donny: *watches Jake chase Bakura out the window* . yeah. well. next time I'll add in some more characters. and. stuff. oh forget it. * umps out the window after them*