They've Got Us All Wrong
CRACK CRACK BEAUTIFUL CRACK! No offense meant to anyone, and all author names came out my brain, sorry if they're real! But if they are you're amazing. Disclaimer: I don't own Inception :'( Though I do love it to death.
Arthur drew a hand through his ruffled hair and reached across the bed to grab his laptop. He was meant to be doing work but that little blue icon in his favourites bar was begging him to click it, absolutely demanding to be opened in a new tab.
So he did.
About two hours later Eames woke to the sight of a beautiful, muttering man with tired eyes leaning over and squinting at a little glowing screen. He smiled in satisfaction as Arthur turned and gave him a 'hello' grin.
His voice was scratchy with sleep, "What are you doing?"
"Reading those things about us, the stories."
"Seriously, again?"
Arthur's perfect brows knit together in a delicate slant as he clenched one fist in anger.
"When did I suddenly become such an uppity, obsessive, anal little bitch?"
Eames chuckled with glee and propped himself up with a pillow, slipping on his reading glasses so he could peer over Arthur's shoulder.
"I don't know why you're laughing Mr. Eames, in most of these you're a selfish, brash, illiterate moron," Arthur smiled at the gobsmacked look on Eames' face, "Then again, they're not far off."
"Shit you're kidding right?" Eames grabbed the computer and scrolled through some more, "Why is Saito described as kick-ass? All he did last year was bug us, get shot and hang around in limbo! And YUSUF? What is wrong with these people?"
There was more outrage when Cobb was described as the stable one and Eames volatile in a certain story ("Who had the out of control dead-wife projections? This is bloody ridiculous.") and a lot of jealousy at the amount of Arthur/Ariadne stories hanging around the forums.
The two quietened down a little when Arthur clicked on a romance/action story where they were the main characters, humorously entitled "Dildo's Are Forever" by armesdealer_22 thinking it would be rather entertaining.
Arthur began to read, moving from intrigued, to horny, to sickened and appalled. Eames shook his head in disbelief.
"What kinky shit do these people think we're into?" Arthur murmured glancing up at his lover.
"I don't know...but it sort of turned me on."
"Well, you are the sexual delinquent."
"Oh really?" Eames smiled a dangerous smile, one that Arthur knew all too well.
The forger slowly removed his glasses and slammed the laptop lid shut, running the back of his hand down Arthur's face, caressing the smooth skin.
"So..." Arthur whispered, after kissing him deeply and slowly, "You want to take some inspiration from them, or make our own story?"
Eames' eyes widened.
"I thought you were a prude?"
"You shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet Mr. Eames."
"That's a pity, seeing as apparently you're into some pretty hot stuff."
"Well, maybe it's not all bad," Arthur said, turning off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness and bliss.
Eames (when his brain was able to function) silently vowed to write their exploit up in the morning under what was soon to become a penname infamous for dirty, pornographic, explicit, unbelievable stories: arthurlover_hardman69.