Rants Of A IWF Chairman
By Ms. Kinnikufan
Disclaimer: I own none of the Ultimate Muscle Characters.

They say that I'm "unusual looking". Well the polite ones anyway. What they really mean is that I'm ugly.
My own father says it. When introducing us he say "This is my lovely daughter Jacqueline and he gets this pained "how did I produce such offspring" look on his face) son Ikeman".
He always liked Jacqueline better because she was the cute kid that girl up gorgeous. Father always sort of ignored me because I'm ugly.
Yes, I said I was ugly. I was in denial for a long time. But now I've come to terms with it. I'm ugly. Not "unusual looking" or "full of inner beauty" or any of those other shitty euphemisms. Ugly. Just plain ugly.
My mother thought I was ugly too. Commented on it a lot. Hit me a lot for it. Father never notice, he was at work a lot.
She also commented on Jacqueline's looks a lot. She said that pretty girls aren't fat girls. Gave Jacqueline a goddamned complex. Jacqueline was anorexic for a few years as a teenager. She's okay now...at least in the healthy eating area. I think seeing mom beat me up confused her. Thanks a lot mom, you messed us up both real good.
Yeah, yeah, I know I'm whining, but I can't afford therapy.
Father wasn't much better then mother. He too focused on my looks: Jacqueline's beauty and my ugliness. He was busy running the Muscle League, which is now my shitty job. I only took this job in hopes of making the IWF impressive beyond belief, thus finally get some positive reinforcement from him.
But no, Jacqueline had to horned in again and grab father's attention.
Why couldn't she have grabbed father's attention when she began to run her gay porn production?
No, I'm not saying that because I'm drunk. She really does. It's called Jack Splatt productions. What to guess what the Splatt is form. Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question. I think she was at the Chojin Crown to recruit more "exotic" "actors", if you know what I mean. In fact I hear she's producing a new film called "Mile High Club" featuring Turbinski and Ricardo.
No I'm not drunk, Mr. Bartender. No I haven't had enough.

A.N.S: This was originally written for 15minuteficlets and is presented in it's original form. Why doesn't anybody like Ikeman? He can't help the way he was animated.