Hey guys. So while I'm not totally new to fanfiction, it has been several years and I am new to OB fanfiction. If you read, please let me know your thoughts in a review so that I'll know whether this story is worth continuing. I'm just trying to cope with how much I'm missing OB between seasons, as I'm sure many of us are. Thanks!
"I guess I just don't really see the point. I mean, like, I understand that it's important to record cultural aspects of a particular place and time, of course. But why waste all your pages, like, describing rooms and shit instead of focusing on the human spirit or something that really matters, you know?" The short brunette manages to speak in a voice that sounds simultaneously exhausted and exuberant, hands gesturing in front of her at a rapid rate. When her glasses slip, she uses one hand to push them back up over her eyes.
Nothing could be more infuriating, Delphine Cormier thinks as she watches the tiny brunette from across the room. It is the second week of her senior year at UC Berkeley, where she's studying English. This class, American Realism and Naturalism, is one she's been waiting for. While she hasn't read most of the books on the syllabus yet, she loves it so far. She loves that so much of it is rooted in reality and can be traced back to a certain culture, time period, or event. It somehow makes the work more tangible, more accessible, and she doesn't see how that could be a bad thing. Yes, these books will explore reality, but she can already tell they'll do so in a beautiful way that relates timeless truths. How can someone not appreciate that?
Generally, Delphine isn't one to talk much in class. She's always prepared for discussion. She reads and makes notes on the readings, as well as a list of potential contributions to the discussion for when she gets called on. But until that time, she's typically content to listen to what other people have to say. But this time, the dreadlocked brunette gets to her, and she can't help herself from responding.
"If you think it's all useless, why are you taking this class?" Delphine asks from across the room, immediately regretting it and expecting the girl to get angry or defensive.
Instead, Cosima Niehaus offers an amused expression from behind her glasses, chuckling quietly. When Dr. Leekie directs the discussion away from their encounter towards the importance of carefully evaluating the characters in William Dean Howells's The Rise of Silas Lapham, Cosima watches the blonde blush and turn away to refocus on her note taking.
Because Cosima doesn't take notes, she keeps her eyes on the blonde. No doubt, Cosima has noticed her before. Also a senior English major, Cosima has seen the blonde around campus, but they have never had classes together before this semester. Now two days a week they share back-to-back classes in Realism and Postmodern literature. They have certainly never spoken to one another until this moment. Cosima has stolen glances before, but now she really examines the woman across the room. Her short, curly, blonde hair is in slight, purposeful disarray, and she's dressed in tight black jeans, knee-high boots, and a white button down done all the way up. It's a good look for her, albeit a bit professional for an undergraduate class. Soon she is completely refocused, diligently taking notes and nodding her head towards Dr. Leekie when he speaks, seeming to have completely forgotten about Cosima's comments.
When class ends, Cosima takes her time getting to Postmodern, needing to run to the bathroom and grab a drink. Though the two classrooms are right next to each other and close to the bathroom and a vending machine, somehow Cosima still strolls into class two minutes late, earning her a hard look from Dr. Sadler. Noticing an empty seat next to the blonde, she settles there and takes out a copy of the book they are discussing: Nightwood by Djuna Barnes.
"Let's start simple," Dr. Sadler says. "Who is liking this book?"
Cosima and a few other students raise their hands enthusiastically.
"Who is really not liking it?"
Most of the other students, including Delphine, raise their hands.
"Delphine," Dr. Sadler says abruptly. "Tell me why you don't like it."
Of course she would call on me, Delphine thinks. She bites her bottom lip for a second before she speaks, something that does not go unnoticed by Cosima. "It's just not… I don't find it very reader friendly," Delphine finally says. "There are so many allusions to look up, and I find the structure to be really off putting. Some parts seem totally out of place, and there doesn't seem to be a reason for the disorganization or for the lack of answers the reader gets."
This time, it's Cosima who can't keep her mouth shut, though that's nothing new for her. "But is that not the whole point?" she says, hands gesticulating in front of her again. "Barnes is defying the traditional reader's expectations and breaking boundaries and binaries to show us something real and raw."
"Well articulated, Cosima," Dr. Sadler throws in before Delphine has a chance to respond. Then she moves on to another student, asking more specific questions about the opening of the novel.
Delphine deflates, and Cosima notices. Suddenly she feels bad for jumping in, even if she does disagree with the blonde. Most of the class probably shares Delphine's frustrations, and to an extent Cosima can sympathize with that. When class is over, she stops Delphine, who is hastily tossing her books into her bag, by placing her hand on the taller woman's forearm.
"Hey, I'm sorry if I was rude before," Cosima says. "I didn't mean to come off like a bitch if I did. I, like, totally get where you're coming from." She offers the blonde a hesitant smile, pulling her hand away partly in case she's made her uncomfortable and partly to keep herself in check. She's used to beautiful women, but she's not sure she's encountered anyone as beautiful as her French classmate. In many ways, Cosima has tamed her wild sexuality in the last few years, and she certainly has avoided any real romantic relationships. But something about the blonde is so totally disarming to her, and Cosima wants to know her. A girl can't have too many friends, right?
Delphine waves her hand in dismissal as she finishes putting her books away. "No problem." She stands.
Cosima stands as well, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I'm Cosima, by the way."
Delphine offers a small smile, purely because the brilliant one Cosima is giving her is so infectious. "Delphine."
They walk towards the classroom door, Cosima still smiling. Once they're out the door, not wanting the conversation to end, she says, "Oh, do you-"
Her sentence is cut off by the words of a tall, chiseled, dark-haired man in a tight t-shirt. "Hey, babe. Want to go get some lunch?"
"Sure," Delphine responds, landing a kiss on the man's cheek.
Cosima watches them leave hand in hand. She is distracted by the recent encounter for several seconds before she checks her watch and curses, darting across campus in an effort to make it to her creative writing class on time.
Two days later, Cosima finds her seat in Realism next to Delphine. She is early for class for one of the first times in her life, and there are only a few other students in the room at this point.
Delphine clears her throat and looks up when Cosima sits next to her. She's not upset with the brunette at all, nor had she ever been. What had upset her in Postmodern the other way was that Dr. Sadler praised Cosima's thoughts on the novel without allowing for the validity of Delphine's thoughts to also be acknowledged. "Don't you usually sit over there?" she asks, still half distracted by the notes she's reviewing in front of her. But she lazily points to a seat across the room.
Cosima smirks, planting an elbow on their table and resting her chin in her palm. She turns her body a bit to face the blonde more fully. "So you have noticed me," she says, eyes sparkling.
Chuckling, Delphine answers without looking up from her notes this time. "Oui, I have noticed that you fundamentally disagree with my opinions of literature." Delphine is teasing, amused by this total stranger. But she can't say she's not intrigued by the brunette. She's seen her around campus, and though she's never approached her, she's wondered about her. Cosima seems to exist in a constant state of simultaneous fatigue and energy, and many of Delphine's professors have mentioned the brunette in classes, recalling fondly her brilliant observations, papers, and independent research. Delphine feels a twinge of jealousy towards the brunette, but mostly she is curious about what makes her tick and what exactly everyone thinks is so brilliant about her. So far, Delphine must admit that her demeanor and playfulness are infectious.
"You know, the French thing is totally hot," is Cosima's response. Totally platonic compliments never hurt anyone, Cosima thinks.
Delphine looks up this time, caught off guard and blushing. She shakes her head in dismissal before returning to her notes.
Cosima is smiling, and she allows a few seconds of silence before speaking again. "What are you so focused on?"
"Notes," Delphine responds.
"Notes?" Cosima's brow crinkles. She leans over a bit to see the papers in front of the blonde, which are covered top to bottom in blue ink that outlines a timeline for Howells's book, a plot summary, and bulleted talking points. "Shit, do we have quiz or something?"
Delphine attempts to ignore the invasion of her space but can feel a stronger blush covering her neck and exposed chest. A subtle heat surrounds her, the same that she noticed when Cosima touched her arm the other day. Not sure what to make of that, she's thankful when Cosima returns to her original distance. "Non, no quiz. I just like to be prepared for discussion."
Cosima raises her eyebrows and lets out a breath. "Wow. What a nerd."
Delphine takes offense, looking up with a frustrated brow. "Just because I like to be prepared and-"
"Hey, Delphine," Cosima interrupts her, placing a hand on the blonde's forearm as she had done two days before. "I'm kidding. I mean, yes, you are a nerd, but that's not a bad thing. It's actually hella cute, and like I said, you know, the hot thing." She smiles wide, her tongue poking between her teeth.
Delphine is sure that if her blush wasn't obvious before, it is now. She covers her face with her hands briefly and then laughs when she sees Cosima's adorably satisfied smile. She decides to divert the conversation away from herself. "You know, one might be tempted to call you a nerd as well, based on your answers in class and how much all the professors seem to love you."
"One might be tempted, huh?" Cosima responds, still smiling.
"Oui, quite," Delphine answers, echoing the shorter woman's bright smile.
Dr. Leekie comes in and begins class, cutting their conversation short. Class is fairly uneventful, Cosima throwing in thoughts every now and then or responding to claims she doesn't agree with. Delphine manages to make it through the full hour without getting called on, but she's paying attention the whole time. She pays special attention when Cosima talks, watching the brunette as she gets totally lost in what she's saying, eyes shining with enthusiasm and hands gesturing all around her. Even if Delphine disagrees with some of Cosima's ideas, she can't help but admire what is clearly a passion for literature and smile at the bright ways Cosima expresses herself. Her brightness really is infectious.
In Postmodern, Cosima sits next to Delphine again, this time managing to make it on time, just before Dr. Sadler begins class. Delphine is not so lucky during this class, getting called on by Dr. Sadler twice. Delphine could swear the woman is out to get her, just waiting for the day when Delphine is totally unprepared and makes a fool out of herself. But, as usual, she is totally prepared to give her answers. Today, she's more conscious of her words, watching Cosima's reactions to her out of the corner of her eye. Sometimes the brunette shakes her head, disagreeing, while others she surprisingly nods in agreement. Delphine feels satisfied with this, excited that maybe they don't disagree on everything, though she can't be sure why she cares about that. This girl is a stranger.
As they walk out of the classroom side by side, Cosima, noticing the absence of the guy from the other day, says, "No beefcake to take you to lunch today?"
Delphine looks up from the ground, confused. "Paul?"
Cosima shrugs. "Tall. Muscles. Shirt about two sizes too small."
Chuckling, Delphine responds, "Paul. My boyfriend. Non, he is not here today."
What a shame, Cosima thinks. "Wanna get lunch with me?" Cosima's creative writing class doesn't even cross her mind.
Cosima and Delphine sit in a small café right off campus, their plates clear and stomachs full, already having discussed many topics – mostly school related – and exchanged numbers in case either one needs class help or updates in case of absences.
"My plan," Delphine continues, "is to apply to eight grad school programs. I already have them all picked out, and I'm working on my essays."
Cosima releases a breath and shakes her head. "So you're also hella smart and organized. You are totally not fair," she teases with a wide smile. She's teasing, but she means it. Delphine is an overwhelming combination of good looks, brains, and personality.
Delphine blushes and changes the subject. She isn't used to talking about herself, which she has done a lot with Cosima during this lunch. "Are you also applying to grad schools?"
Cosima's smile falters, and she looks down at her hands, toying with the many rings on her fingers. Then she takes a sip of her drink before speaking. "Uh, nah, not for me. I mean, I would totally love to go. I fucking love school, you know, but it's not really in the cards. I've gotta get a better job after graduation."
"Oh, where do you work?" Delphine asks.
"Uh, I work in the writing center some mornings and afternoons, and I bartend at a club down the street at night." Cosima's smile returns as she finally reestablishes eye contact with the blonde. "Oh, my god! You should totally come by one night. I can hook you up," she says with a wink, landing her hand on the blonde's forearm again across the table.
Delphine laughs, getting used to the electric feeling of the brunette's small hand on her arm. "Maybe I will."
Cosima's smile widens and she pulls her hand back.
"Do you ever get to sleep?" Delphine asks next.
Shrugging, Cosima responds, "Overrated. Besides, if I get too tired or stressed, I can always skip a class to take a pretty lady out to lunch."
Delphine's eyes widen at that. "Cosima! Are you supposed to be in class right now? I never would have-"
There it is again. Cosima's hand on her arm, and it stops her words, allowing the brunette to speak. "Relax, relax. It is so not a big deal. Plus, you are obvs more interesting than anything I'll learn in there."
A week passes before Delphine visits the club. During this time, the two see each other only in class, and they talk amiably there, Cosima always ready with compliments and small flirtations. Always the hand on her arm, and always the shiver up her spine. They talk about the books they're reading for class and, when they have enough time, about previous classes and professors they've taken. It's all quite easy, and Delphine finds herself looking forward to both Realism and Postmodern so that she can see the almost always smiling, boisterous woman that is Cosima Niehaus. She's all vibrant colors, jangling bracelets, and brightness, and in only a week Delphine has found herself craving the presence and conversation of her new friend.
So she convinces Paul to take her out and convinces him that they need to go to the club where Cosima bartends. Delphine cannot remember the last time she has been in a club or had any interest in going to one. She's not entirely sure what to wear, but she wants to look good. For her boyfriend, Paul, of course. She spends a long time showering and picking out an outfit, finally settling on a short black skirt and a simple white tank top with a black bra underneath. She works on her hair for several minutes, trying to make sure it looks perfect, and checks herself out briefly in the mirror, approving of the outfit and what it does for her legs.
When Paul picks her up, she loses her confidence. He kisses her quickly before saying, "Let's get going. I can't stay out long. I have an early practice in the morning." And he ushers her out the door and to the car, eyes not even lingering on her for more than a second.
So maybe I don't look as great as I thought, Delphine thinks. "You don't have to go, you know," she reminds him as she buckles her seatbelt.
Paul laughs and starts the car, heading towards the club. He settles his hand on her mostly bare thigh and responds, "Like I'm gonna let you go out to a club without me, babe. Guys will try anything. If I'm there, everyone will know you're taken."
She doesn't respond, grinding her teeth and looking out the car window. Paul has always been territorial, and this is something Delphine actually likes in a partner. She likes knowing that her boyfriend doesn't want other people to have her. But Paul's growing tendency to "let" Delphine do things is unnerving.
Delphine is not sure what she expected Cosima to be like in the club environment, but somehow she's surprised by what she sees. Cosima is behind the bar with a lanky guy who has dark hair and dark eye makeup on. So does Cosima, as always. She's dressed much differently than Delphine's seen her, wearing a tight, sleeveless, deep burgundy dress that accentuates her arms and breasts. She seems to move behind the bar effortlessly, and her rapport with the other bartender is fun to watch. They work in tandem, sliding drink bottles or soda cans across the bar to one another and laughing together. Delphine can't take her eyes off of them, though admittedly they linger mostly on Cosima's face and chest.
The club isn't too busy yet, though it's Friday night so Delphine assumes it'll pick up. The dance floor is about half full, and several other groups and a few loners stand around it or sit at the tables along the back wall opposite the bar. Delphine watches Cosima from afar until Paul grabs her hand and pulls her towards the bar, muttering, "Are we gonna get a drink or what?"
Cosima is whispering something into the other bartender's ear when she sees Delphine and Paul approaching the bar. She halts her words immediately, her throat going dry as she takes in the blonde's body. At first, she can't catch herself and doesn't try to hide it. Her eyes move from Delphine's face to her chest and then linger on her long legs. Cosima feels freer to check the blonde out in this environment, one of the only places she can allow herself to fully let go and do as she wishes, as long as it doesn't affect her job performance. Though there's hardly anything she can do to upset club owner (and occasional bartender) Felix, who also happens to be her best friend and roommate. Momentarily forgetting that she's even at work, Cosima fights her body's urge to check out Delphine, not wanting to appear creepy or weird, but Cosima loses this battle.
"Oi! Cos!"
Felix's voice pulls Cosima out of her daze, and her eyes snap over to him. Then they snap quickly back to Delphine, this time staying on her face, just in time for the couple to approach the bar.
Paul is oblivious to the fact that the bartender has been very obviously checking out his girlfriend, but Delphine isn't. She feels a blush creeping up her cheeks and smiles at Cosima, in part because she's happy to see her new friend and in part because now she feels like she does look good. Delphine experiences no hesitation or weirdness at the fact that this attention is coming from a woman, specifically Cosima. When they reach the bar, Delphine releases Paul's hand and puts her elbows up on the bar, leaning close to say hi to Cosima.
Cosima is smiling so big she thinks she might hurt herself. She leans forward a little, too, returning the blonde's greeting. Her demeanor falters only when she watches Paul put his arm around Delphine's waist and try to pull her into him, and Cosima must mentally remind herself both that Delphine is taken and that Cosima herself is not looking for a serious relationship anyways.
Delphine introduces her classmate and her boyfriend, the latter offering the former a hand to shake as his eyes linger on her breasts. Both Cosima and Delphine notice this, and the latter deflates, suddenly very thirsty. "Sex on the beach?" she says to Cosima. It's not the first time Paul has blatantly ogled another woman. In fact, the longer they've been together, the more it seems to happen. Delphine has never been able to find the courage to confront him about it, soothing herself by assuring herself that looking is harmless. As long as he's not touching, it's okay, right? Somehow Paul's affront is doubly upsetting when his eyes are on Cosima.
The brunette smirks and nods before asking what Paul wants. After handing him a beer, she mixes Delphine's drink, taking her time to make sure it's a good one.
A large guy suddenly comes up to the bar, orders a round of beers, and claps Paul on the back. A moment later, Paul is muttering to Delphine, "I'm gonna go say hey to the guys real quick. I'll be right back."
As he walks away, Cosima places a cherry in Delphine's drink and pushes it across the bar to her, quickly distracting the blonde from her increasingly frustrated thoughts about her boyfriend.
"Merci," Delphine thanks her, taking a big gulp of the drink. "Très bien."
Felix deals with the next couple of customers that trickle up, and Cosima stays planted in front of Delphine. She leans on the bar again, placing her hand on the blonde's arm as she always does, and leans her face close to Delphine's, making eye contact with her. "You probs don't want to hear this from me, but you are so fucking gorgeous." While Cosima isn't totally inebriated since she's at work, she's still riding on the joints she and Felix shared earlier in the day. She feels totally coherent, albeit a bit looser than she might be otherwise. Mostly, she refuses to miss these opportunities to smoke when she's out of the house, not allowing herself to partake in that kind of recreation at home.
Delphine's blush is deep, and she doesn't even think of moving farther away, keeping her arms on the bar and her body leaning towards Cosima. Delphine fully realizes that she is playing into Cosima's flirtations, though she can't find anything wrong with it at the moment, nor can she pull her body away from the bartender. She takes another big sip of her drink, reveling in the compliment before she says, "No, no, it's nice to hear. Thank you. Paul does not always…" She trails off, stopping herself from saying more. She sips on her drink more, almost to the bottom already. Her school and application stress is combining with her insecurities to make her crave the alcohol.
Cosima keeps her hand on Delphine's arm and crinkles her brow. "What?" When Delphine is silent, only sipping her drink, Cosima presses, "What? He didn't tell you you look good tonight?"
A little laugh escapes Delphine's lips. "I think he looked at you longer than he did me."
Shaking her head, Cosima expels what sounds like an angry breath. "He's a fucking idiot," she says, squeezing Delphine's arm gently. "You look amazing, and you should be told that." Cosima stops herself, her unadulterated thoughts on Delphine's outfit marinating in her head as she bites her lip.
Delphine, still stone cold sober, is quietly questioning what she's doing but loving it all the same. Her eyes are on Cosima's lip between her teeth, and she finds herself mimicking the gesture. "I guess you'll just have to tell me then," she says.
Before Cosima can respond, Paul returns, setting his beer down on the counter and wrapping an arm around Delphine. Cosima distances herself, taking a few steps down the bar to serve another customer. While wiping down the bar, she doesn't even pretend she's not listening to their conversation.
"Come on, let's dance," Delphine says.
"I don't dance," Paul responds. "You know that."
"Just for one song?"
"I said no," he says, raising his voice a little.
Then there's silence, but Delphine and Paul linger at the bar. Cosima replenishes their drinks after a few minutes, and many more people come into the club. For a moment, Cosima totally loses sight of Delphine as she hurries to make drinks for a huge group. Then most of them migrate to the dance floor, and she sees that the couple hasn't moved. Paul is alternating between going to say hi to his buddies and returning for more beers and to kiss his girlfriend. Cosima could swear that every time he comes back, his hands go lower on her back or higher on her leg. She doesn't attempt to make conversation with Delphine while Paul is there, busying herself with drinks and tabs. They steal brief moments when he leaves, bodies attracting like magnets, but he always comes back.
After a little while, Delphine watches a petite, fashionably dressed blonde walk up to the bar. She's at the bar alone but seems to have just left a group of friends that are on the dance floor. Felix offers to make her a drink, and she says she'll wait for Cosima. Delphine tries to look like she's not paying attention, instead pretending to listen to Paul recount the phenomenal football story the guys just told him.
When Cosima spots Shay, she smiles and walks over, just a couple of feet away from Delphine and Paul. Cosima presses her body against the bar, and Shay leans her body almost all the way across the bar, whispering something in Cosima's ear. Then she kisses the brunette's cheek, planting herself back on the ground firmly. Cosima then turns and mixes a drink, her body swaying slightly to the club music, a natural rhythm emanating from her that has Delphine transfixed. When she has finished the drink, she returns to Shay with another smile and a mischievous sparkle in her eye. Shay leans her body over the bar again. Their hands meet in the drink exchange, and Shay presses her lips to Cosima's in a hard kiss. Cosima returns the kiss fervently, using her free hand to pull Shay closer by her neck. The kiss lasts for several seconds before Cosima gently pushes Shay away. Shay whispers in Cosima's ear again before taking her drink to the dance floor with a wink.
About ten minutes later, Paul has disappeared again, so Cosima makes her way over to Delphine, who looks upset. "Hey, you okay?" Cosima asks, genuine concern painted all over her face.
"Great," Delphine answers sarcastically.
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing other than my boyfriend leering at you and that girl," Delphine responds, accepting the fresh drink that Cosima has brought her.
Paul had, indeed, been staring and making rather inappropriate comments when he saw Cosima and Shay kissing. Now he's back with his buddies, probably telling them about it. Delphine could almost laugh at the fact that he won't let her go to a club alone, but then he keeps ditching her while here.
Cosima sighs, mixing a drink for a customer while she talks. "You really should dump that motherfucker."
Delphine laughs. "You just met him."
"Yup," Cosima says, handing the drink off to a man and entering it on his tab. Then she places herself directly in front of Delphine again, supporting her weight with her hands on the bar. "And in the hour that you've been here, I've learned that he can't keep his eyes to himself and that he doesn't appreciate what a fucking awesome girlfriend he has."
Scoffing, Delphine returns, "Are you any better? You've been checking me out all night when, clearly, you're… involved." Delphine waves her hand in the direction she and Shay had been kissing previously.
Cosima waves her hands in front of her. "No no no. I'm not involved with anyone. Shay's a friend."
"Looks like a pretty good friend," Delphine responds.
Cosima expels an exasperated breath, getting worked up for no reason other than she doesn't want to see Delphine feeling badly about herself. She shouldn't keep talking because they've only been friends – if that's what they are – for a little over a week, but the valve has opened, and there is no filter. "So? The point is I'm not with anyone so I can look at anyone I want, kiss anyone I want, fuck anyone I want. He can't. And believe me, if you were my girlfriend, you wouldn't be sitting here alone at the bar feeling insecure about yourself." Cosima isn't sure where that assertion came from, though she feels it completely.
They stare at each other for a few seconds before Paul makes another grand return, and Cosima leaves to tend to some waiting customers.
Business picks up considerably, and a few minutes later Cosima looks up to see that Paul and Delphine have left, Felix closing their tab since Cosima has been so busy. It's almost five in the morning before Cosima leaves the club and gets home to shower and get in bed, knowing that she will undoubtedly be woken up in just a couple of hours by the pitter patter of little feet.
"What's up with blondie?" Felix asks the next night from behind the bar.
"Who?" Cosima plays dumb. She's been feeling bad about how she spoke to Delphine. While seeing anyone being disrespected or ignored by a significant other grinds her gears, Cosima found it especially aggravating when Delphine was the one being hurt and when it was so obviously affecting her deeply. Still, she doesn't know this woman well enough to be judging her relationship on one night, and she feels deep down that she may have crossed a line.
Felix rolls his eyes dramatically, folding his arms over the front of his black, leather vest. "Out with it, Cos."
Cosima smiles as she expertly mixes a drink without even thinking about it. "There's nothing to tell, Fe. We have a couple of classes together, and we had lunch once. She's a friend, maybe even just an acquaintance."
"And you like her," Felix states. Felix has always been able to read Cosima exceptionally well, ever since the two of them struck up a friendship at their San Francisco middle school. He is the only person she can't bullshit, which is sometimes comforting and sometimes annoying as hell.
Rolling her eyes, Cosima loses her smile and shakes her head. "No, Felix. One hundred percent platonic. She has a boyfriend anyways."
"Yeah, real piece of work, that one," he mutters.
"How would you know?"
Felix serves a drink, opening a new tab on the computer in front of him. "Please," he says. "He was staring at your tits the whole time they were here. Almost came undone right in the middle of my club when you kissed Shay."
"He's an asshole," Cosima agrees.
They work silently for a few minutes, and then Cosima speaks again in a sort of dreamy voice, and she's wearing a smirk. "She is, like, insanely hot though, right? And smart, man. I mean, some of the shit she says in class I totally disagree with, but her mind is wicked. And she's-"
Felix cuts her off by saying, "Alright, alright, we get it. You don't have a crush on her." When Cosima glares at him, he winks back.
Cosima is so exhausted by the time Tuesday rolls around that she skips classes altogether. On Thursday, after it's been almost a week since she saw Delphine at the club, she's still just as exhausted but makes herself go to classes. When she walks into Realism thirty seconds before class starts, she sits next to Delphine and immediately crosses her arms on the table and plants her head on them, only lifting it slightly throughout the class to contribute what she can or listen to other people's comments.
Delphine watches her throughout the class, concerned. As they're leaving Realism and heading to Postmodern, Delphine grabs Cosima's hand to get her attention. "Hey, are you doing okay?"
Stifling a yawn, Cosima nods her head. "I'm fine, just tired. I haven't been able to sleep more than a couple hours a night so far this semester, and it's all catching up to me. I'm just beat."
Delphine pulls on her hand, stopping them in the middle of the hallway. With her free hand, she feels Cosima's forehead. "Cosima, that is really not healthy. You need to sleep. Your immune system is going to weaken, and you'll get sick. You probably already are."
Cosima pulls Delphine's hand away from her forehead and smiles a little. "You don't have to mother me. I'm okay. I'm gonna have to stock up on energy drinks or something cause there's no way for me to get more sleep."
"Non? What's keeping you up?" Delphine asks, allowing them to stay planted in the hallway for a few more minutes before class begins.
"Just life. If I'm not in class or doing schoolwork, I'm working at the club. If I'm not at the club, I'm working in the writing center. If I'm not doing that, I'm-" She stops herself and shakes her head.
"What?"
"Nothing. Just other responsibilities," Cosima finishes. Wanting to get off the subject, she says tentatively, "Hey, I'm sorry about the other night. I didn't mean to be rude or invasive or whatever. It's your life, your relationship. I get that." Realizing that their hands are still connected, Cosima reluctantly pulls hers away.
Delphine shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively. "Cosima, it's fine. I know that Paul and I are not perfect together, but nobody is. I like to keep my expectations realistic."
Cosima tries to bite her tongue but after a second, she can't. Never has been able to. "Last thing I'll say about it, I swear," she prefaces. "And I realize I barely know you at this point, and you probably have a good idea of what you're looking for in a relationship. But I don't think that wanting your partner to appreciate you is an unrealistic expectation."
Delphine is silent for many seconds before she says, "Come on, let's get to class." She knows Cosima is right. That isn't an unrealistic expectation, but for some reason it feels like one. Paul really isn't a bad guy. They have their issues, but doesn't everybody? After almost two years together, shouldn't it be expected that some of the wonder and fun and compliments will decrease in number or fade out? The honeymoon phase can't last forever.
They have a few minutes to chat before Postmodern begins. Again, Cosima folds her arms on the desk and rests her head on them, this time facing Delphine, who is saying, "I guess since you are so busy, we won't ever be able to hang out outside of class, huh?"
Cosima smiles mischievously. "We could always skip class. Or you can just come visit me at the club. During the week, it's not so busy, and I can get your cover waived and sneak you some free drinks," she says, raising her eyebrows.
Laughing, Delphine responds, "Oui, I could. That wouldn't get you in trouble with your boss?"
"Nah," Cosima says, shaking her head against her arms. "We're best friends and roommates. He doesn't care as long as I'm pouring them. Besides, guys will probably be fighting to buy you drinks so we'll still get some money," she finishes with her eyes shining.
Delphine chuckles again, and just before she's about to respond she hears Cosima's phone vibrate and watches the brunette pull it from her pocket and read something that sends her jumping from her chair.
"Shit," Cosima curses loudly, not even aware of the other students in the room. "Sorry, I've gotta go. Emergency. I'll see you next week, Delphine." Then she's walking quickly out of the classroom.