Toad in the Whoa Zone.
Summary: Toad is in the Whoa Zone. Who or what will he discover? Whatever it is, he can handle it. It's flipping Toad!
Part 1: The 'Information' Station.
Toad was a dangerous mushroom. Or rather a mushroom in danger, not that he couldn't be dangerous though. If he could see himself now, he'd realize how far he was from his usual well groomed and regal self.
His royal purple vest, which differentiated him from the other red capped Toads was now dull and dusty. His shoes, fit for walking down the glorious marble floors of the castle were practically falling apart. As far as Toad's trousers? Well, sand was in places Toad didn't even know about.
How he got here? Toad couldn't remember. A regular day this was at first and then...his mind struck a blank. Something must have happened but for now all he knew was that now he was in a vast desert with alien grey sand and an eerie green sky. There was a gentile warm wind, but the direction it came from seemed random. Sometimes east, other times west. Assuming those geological concepts existed here.
Toad was no stranger to adventures or even alternate dimensions but this place was 'something else entirely', to quote Toad in his mind.
Up ahead he suddenly saw a booth of some sort in the middle of nowhere. It was square shaped about six feet tall and made of a greenish material Toad had never seen before. It seemed translucent but and had a dull glow. He walked towards it. "This can't real can or...?" Toad asked no one in general. "My goodness it is!"
"Hello?" Toad asked, peeking inside.
Someone inside stood up. They were wrapped tightly in a dark crimson robe. Their face was hidden in shadows. Toad immediately noticed how the strangely dark the inside of the booth was, despite the outside glow.
"Greetings exhumed traveler." They said simply.
"Hi, I'm Toad and I'm kind of lost. Where am I?"
"This is the Whoa Zone," the guide said, with the last words echoing mysteriously.
"Whoa." Toad replied, with no echo however.
"Ha ha. I totally haven't heard that one before," they said rolling their eyes, not that anyone could see the sarcastic expression from the shadows anyway. "So how will you be paying me?"
"Well I have a few coins," Toad said patting his pockets. The satisfying jingle of coinage was absent however. "Oops, guess not then. Must have lost it somehow. But give me a break old pal! I'm still a confused shroom."
The guide shot him a glare, but again no one could tell.
"Look, 'old pal'. You think it's easy being a guide in an alternate dimension that spans indefinitely in all directions?! This booth doesn't even have a bathroom. You give ME a break!"
"W-what?"
"You vermin."
"Me?"
"Sorry that was mean. These 'mysterious ethereal guide' robes are hot and there's no air conditioning either."
"Okay... But did you call me exhumed earlier?"
"Yeah but you are dirty. And a shroom."
"But it's not like I usually look like this. I work in a castle you know."
The guide paused for a bit. "Wait, really? A real castle?"
"Well poor me! I don't work at Disney Land. Yes, a genuine castle! I'm Toad from Princess Peach's castle of the Mushroom Kingdom. Though, with some of the princess's more sour moods, I sometimes wish she was Sleeping Beauty!" Toad chuckled mischievously. This kind of talk on castle grounds was likely to get him demoted, or worse, put on kitchen duty!
"Hmm. Never heard of it but that does sound interesting. You know, I could have worked in a castle once. Had all the qualifications and everything. But no, information guide atendant sounded better on paper. If only I knew that information station was in the...Whoa Zone!" The last words echoed again.
"Whoa...Zone?" Toad replied, this time with the echo also.
"Hey you're catching on!"
"No. I mean...so that's really the name of this place?"
"Yes. Don't even ask for a paper map. A 2-D plane cannot contain this place."
"That...still doesn't tell me much."
"Of course. Being vague is manager's orders. Sorry, but say- What is castle life like?"
Toad glanced at his watch. The hour hand had continually spun counterclockwise while he was still wandering around. Now, no hands were moving at all! He had all the time in the world...literally! Toad shrugged. He could afford to waste, or NOT waste a little more time with this person.
"Well for me it was following the Princess around. Doing stuff. Yeah vague I know, but we do a little of everything. Sports, parties, getting kidnapped by a rival kingdom's tyrant evil Koopa leader- Typical stuff. We have no national security so we have this real swell guy named Mario that comes around-"
"Mario?"
"Uh, Yeah. Red cap, epic moustache, handsom- awesome I mean. So anyways I wouldn't trade jobs for anything in the world."
There was silence between Toad and the guide.
"You life sounds weird uh, Toad is it?"
"Well you aren't wrong, Information Station person..."
There was more silence.
"So...bye then." Toad said turning around.
"Okay bye- wait! You still haven't paiiiiiiid!"
Toad sprinted off from the information station. Or Misinformation station! Well it's not like he had money anyway, Toad reasoned, so his misinformation was free. No wait, he didn't really get misinformation either. He really learned nothing aside from the fact that this was the..Whoa Zone. 'Man that echo thing is cool', Toad reasoned, 'I gotta do that more often. Oh, and take a bath soon!'
Besides, he figured that if he saw one oddity in this vast nothingness, he was bound to find more.
Stay tuned...