Hello, owner of computer!
I wrote this because I was bored (surprise surprise)
Edward: Aren't you always bored?
Me: Shut-up. Give them the disclaimer.
Edward: Genocide doesn't own any of the Maximum Ride characters. They belong to James Patterson.
Me: unfortunately, I am not JP. –sighs-
101 WAYS TO ANNOY MAXIMUM RIDE!!
1. Steal Max's cookies
2. Steal Max's cookies, and lock her in a dog crate.
3. Steal Max's cookies, lock her in a dog crate, and eat said cookies in front of her.
4. Sit on Max.
5. In a crowded public place, loudly compare Max to Bella from Twilight.
6. In said crowded place, loudly compare Fang to Edward from Twilight.
7. Dye her hair red in her sleep.
8. Dye her wings hot pink.
9. Sing the Gummy Bear song at the top of your lungs.
10. Every time she eats a chicken nugget, say, "That could be your cousin."
11. Every time she tries to take off, scream, "I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the skyyyyy!!"
12. While flying, knock her into Fang, who knocks into Iggy, so the two of them are falling, the sing, "It's rainin' men, hallelujah, it's rainin' men! Amen!"
13. Tell her she can't do something because she's a girl.
14. Tell her she should dress more like a girl.
15. Tell her that her butt looks big.
16. Give Nudge two Redbulls and a bag of sugar and lock her in a room with Max for two hours.
17. Lock Max, Fang, and Sam in a room together and tell them the first one to get Max pregnant gets a million dollars.
18. Lock Max and Fang in a room together with a marriage counselor.
19. Every thirty seconds, scream, "Look! A UFO!" (It was proven by the Gasman in book two that this did, in fact, annoy Maximum Ride)
20. Call Fang emo.
21. Make a Fang plushie, and tell everyone it's Max's.
22. Videotape Max and Fang kissing, then hack Fang's blog and post it for the world to see.
23. Say, "Hang on, I gotta go get the emo kid (Fang) outta the closet before he starts slitting his wrists again."
24. Ask Fang where his razor blades are.
25. Walk in on Max and Fang kissing.
26. Get her a big, brown stuffed dog and name it Ari.
27. Call her "birdgirl."
28. Kiss Fang. (It was proven by the Red-Haired Wonder in book two that this does, in fact, annoy Maximum Ride)
29. Every two minutes, whine, "Are we there yet?"
30. Call her a stupid.
31. Tell her the reason Iggy doesn't have a girlfriend is because he's gay.
32. Tell her that Fang is leaving her for Iggy, because he's gay too.
33. Steal her cell phone (if she has one) and send Fang mushy text messages (If he has a cell.)
34. Reprogram her iPod (if she has one) to play the Barbie Girl song over and over again.
35. Then put superglue on her ear buds, so she can't take them out.
36. The duct tape her to a chair, so she has no choice but to listen to the Barbie girl song forever, until someone rescues her.
37. Flirt with Fang
38. Shave Max's head in her sleep.
39. Superglue her head to her pillow.
40. Put superglue in a lip-gloss tube, and make sure she puts in on right before kissing Fang.
41. Every time you see a pack of pencils, suddenly scream, "ERASERS!"
42. When Max leaps into a fighting stance, laugh and say, "Gotcha!"
43. If she's reading a book, every ten seconds, ask what's happening.
44. Dye your hair red and flirt with Fang (A/N: kind of like #37, but slightly different.)
45. Make her give Total a bath.
46. Tell her she nags to much.
47. Trip Max.
48. Accuse her of being pregnant with Fang's baby, and see how she reacts.
49. If she freaks out on you, saying it was an accident, and they didn't mean to, etc, look at her blankly and say, "I was only joking."
50. Make her let Iggy do her make-up.
Me: I am truly an evil genius.
Edward: Actually, you're kind of scaring me.
Me: Good. 'Cause when I'm finished with Max, I'm doing you next.
Edward: Oh no.
Me: Oh yes! If you want the next fifty ways to annoy Maximum Ride, I'll need ten reviews! So review away, people, don't be shy. If you want to annoy Max some more, review!
Max: -appears- YOU HAD BETTER NOT REVIEW!!!!!
Me: Ha ha, now I will hold you hostage too! Max, Edward, Edward, Max. Maybe I'll set you two free if I get fifteen reviews…okay, so ten for the continuing fifty ways to annoy Max, fifteen to set Max and Edward free.
Max: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE REVIEW!!!!!
Edward: Yes, review. We want out of here!
Me: Muah ha ha ha ha!! -rubs hands together menacingly-
R&R PEOPLE! If you have any ideas for more ways to annoy Max, please tell me! I appriciate all help!
XD