NOTE: This is a story I wrote for a contest held by the Bleach Club at last summer... it's one of a few things I've just had sitting around... it ended up winning 2nd place in said contest even though I just cranked it out on a whim....
As should be obvious when you start reading, I purposely exaggerated the personality traits of all the characters... And of course it's all set in the Turn Back the Pendulum timeline as it's WAY more fun than the current Bleach timeline.
Lastly, DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters sillyface, Tite Kubo does.
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Captain Hirako Shinji and his lieutenant Aizen Sousuke stood by a Senkaimon gate. Shinji yawned, a bit impatient from waiting for the others that were due to arrive a few minutes ago. "What do ya think could be takin' 'em so long?" Shinji asked Sousuke, clearly enjoying the typical look of confusion on his lieutenant's face, seeing as he had simply been dragged along by his captain, which was usually the case in the 5th division.
"I haven't the slightest idea," Sousuke replied, his tone as seemingly innocent as it always was, "It seems they've arrived Hirako-taichou," Sousuke pointed off into the distance at two figures, one significantly smaller than the other, to prove his statement.
"Irashii!" the greeting could be heard as Captain Urahara Kisuke approached with his own lieutenant, a sour expression on her face as she walked beside him.
"Why the hell did you drag me here?!" Hiyori exclaimed, her disapproval of her own captain apparent as always.
"Hey," Shinji grinned, greeting Kisuke and ignoring Hiyori for the time being, "What took ya so long?"
"It took me a while to convince Kurotsuchi to hold up the fort for the time being, and then I had to convince Hiyori that this would be worth her time."
"You didn't convince me of a damn thing!" Hiyori's rebuttal was full of her usual senseless rage.
"Aww, you know you wanna have fun with us Hiyori," Shinji teased, grinning at her angry face, "Anyway, you know it oughta be fun to actually get a break for once, right?" He looked at Sousuke, clearly expecting the oblivious lieutenant to respond.
Sousuke blinked a few times before nodding, seeming to have taken the time to realize he'd been addressed.
"Well we'd best be off then," Kisuke opened up the Senkaimon and began to walk in, prompting the others to follow and putting a temporary stop to the arguing between Shinji and Hiyori. Within about a minute the group of four had made it to the other side of the gate. "Here we are!" Urahara gestured to the area around them, "Welcome to the human world!"
"It's not like you've ever been here before," Hiyori remarked, always finding something to complain about, "So what the hell gives you the right to act like you own the place?!"
Kisuke turned towards Shinji, completely ignoring Hiyori as he had grown accustomed to, it was the only way to ward off her angry complaints after all. "So Hirako-san, any specific place you'd like to check out on our free day out on the town?"
"Well..." Shinji seemed to think the question over for a bit before answering, "It'd be nice to go visit a cafe... and then maybe we could hit up a club."
"Those are both excellent ideas! Let's go then!" With that Kisuke began to run off with an air about him that said he knew where he was going.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Hiyori yelled towards him, rushing to catch up to him, "We all have to be able to keep up with you, y'know... stop acting like you know what you're doing..." She grumbled under her breath, growing a bit unsettled with Kisuke's familiarity with this world.
"First," Urahara suddenly stopped, causing the rushing Hiyori to collide with him, much to her displeasure, while Shinji and Sousuke simply stopped beside them, an amused grin quickly spreading on Shinji's face.
"What the hell are you grinning at Shinji?!" Hiyori glared at him as she rubbed her head. Though the collision with Kisuke was nothing serious, it warranted enough embarrassment to flare her temper. "And you," she turned towards Kisuke, her glare growing in intensity, "Do you not have the courtesy to say something before stopping? You're lucky I wasn't damaged hitting you."
"Anno..." Urahara scratched the back of his head, unsure of what to say to Hiyori. Instead of dwelling on the matter, he figured it better to simply go back to what he had been trying to address. "Firstly," he began again, this time miraculously without distraction, "we all need gigais." And with that he pulled out four gigais, seemingly out of nowhere, each made especially for the four of them. "They're nothing special... all they'll do is allow you to be seen by the humans so that we can interact with them." After some explaining by Kisuke, all four members of the small group managed to get into their gigais and were ready to explore.
"Alright!" Urahara grinned, clearly enjoying his apparent role of being the leader of the group. "I think I know exactly were we should go. I saw the most perfect cafe earlier." With that he began to head back the way they had come, going at a more reasonable pace know that he could be seen by the humans who passed by. "Here we are!" Kisuke's grin widened as he motioned towards the cafe in front of them.
"Hey!" A scantily clad girl in front of the cafe grinned at them, beckoning towards the cafe, "Come right in! We've got just what you need!" With that the girl giggled, winking towards them in what was clearly meant to be a seductive matter.
"What the hell is this?!" Hiyori demanded after reluctantly following the others into the cafe.
"Why it's a maid cafe of course!" Kisuke smiled with false innocence as he responded, "Simply an important part of the culture here in the human world." With that he turned to behold the other two males' reactions to the setting. Shinji simply seemed pleased, as amused by the situation as Kisuke, while Sosuke's usually enlarged eyes were even larger then usual, his gaze scanning their surroundings with curiosity. "So what do you think Sousuke?"
"It's very.... interesting," he turned back to face the others, seeming as if he had just come out of some sort of trance.
"Good to know you all like it," Kisuke smiled as Hiyori shot another death glare at him, "Sadly, the tables here only accommodate two people each. So it looks like you're going to be sitting with Sousuke, Hiyori."
"What?!" Despite her general spite for both Shinji and Kisuke, it seemed she would rather be in either of their company than in that of Sousuke. "Who the hell would want to sit with that spacey guy? I sure as hell don't want to."
"Aww... but Hiyori," Shinji began, clearly having some sort of punch line at her expense already planned, "It might be good for him." Shinji looked at Kisuke as he spoke, Kisuke immediately knowing what to say next through some understood telekinesis of friends.
"Just look at the boy," Kisuke began, Hiyori already getting the pissed look on her face as he spoke, "If anyone could use a girlfriend, it's Sousuke. You should be thanking us for hooking you up."
"Hmmph," Hiyori glanced over at the spacey boy in question, he had already taken a seat at a table and seemed to be staring off into space as usual, "Honestly, I'd say you two are just trying to drive me off so that the two of you can hook up... unless of course you have already." She grinned as she saw looks of shock cross both of the captain's faces, it seemed that she had won for now. With that she turned, reluctantly taking the seat across from Sousuke who seemed to barely acknowledge her presence.
"Wait a second," Shinji called, hating to conceded to Hiyori but seeing no choice after her flawless comeback, "We can just push two tables together..." He pushed another table next to the one occupied by the lieutenants as Hiyori grinned at him devilishly, her victory confirmed.
The four finally sat down as a maid came up to them to take their order. The maid was truly beautiful, having dark skin, short purple hair, yellow cat-like eyes, and a quite the body. She was also… familiar somehow.
"Yoruichi?" Kisuke blinked a few times, trying his best to hide the inner happiness that came from seeing Shihouin Yoruichi in a skimpy maid getup.
"Kisuke…" Yoruchi sighed, placing her hands on the table and looking down at him as she shook her head, "What brings you here?"
"The prospect of an entertaining meal of course!" He grinned as the other three looked on, each surprised to see Yoruichi, a Gotei captain, here of all places… and in that getup.
"I'm sure you remember me asking for two gigais for a special assignment, Kisuke," Yoruichi began, continuing on as she saw Kisuke nod, "Well this is it… myself and a talented subordinate," She motioned towards a young girl who sat in a corner of the café, dressed in more covering clothing, who seemed to have a Kleenex over her nose… as of to ward off a nosebleed, "are here in the human world. We've disguised ourselves here in order to spy on some humans who have been causing some trouble around here. It seems there's quite a few them around who actually have the spiritual perception to cause a problem."
"Ahh… so some powered up perverts are causing a disturbance?" Kisuke grinned as Yoruichi scowled at him.
"Please try not to joke around for once Kisuke." Yoruichi shook her head in disapproval, "This is a serious matter."
Precisely at that moment, a piercing scream could be heard, clearly coming from a distance not too far off. "Yoruichi-sama," the girl who had previously been hiding in the corner ran up to the others, "do you sense that ominous reiatsu?"
"Indeed I do," Yoruchi responded, "And it seems that we're lucky you decided to stop by today Kisuke."
TO BE CONTINUED