The beginning of the story is loosely based on the song Lips of an Angel by Hinder (which I dont own). I also don't own the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus or anything worth more than a couple hundred dollars.

It was dark outside. At this point, I'd never get to sleep. I was about ready to go into the other room and find something, anything to do, when Nick's phone rang. Before he even answered, I knew who it was. I was a lot smarter than he apparently gave me credit for. Although, I had let him continue to do this to me for years and years, so maybe I wasn't as smart as I'd like to think that I was.

"Mi?" Nick whispered into his phone. He thought I was asleep. I could tell. If he thought that I was awake and SHE had called, he'd go into the other room.

It was like they just couldn't stay away from each other. He was the moth, and she was the flame. I was just the light that he was attracted to when the flame had singed him too much for his liking.

"Why are you calling me this late?" he asked her. Well, probably because you're both dating other people and she doesn't want to get caught talking to you when you're supposed to hate each other's very existence dumbass.

But no. I couldn't voice anything or even breathe differently. He'd notice and go away. And I NEEDED to know how these conversations went. I needed to be able to convince myself that breaking up with him, it was the best thing for BOTH of us, not just him. I needed to get angry, furious even. I needed a reason to hate him.

And that scared the hell out of me. Nick and I had been best friends literally since we were in diapers. He was my everything for so long. And I was his. Until Miley. Then all of a sudden, it was, "Laur, Laur, guess what Miley told me today." Or, "Lauren, I'm sorry, I know we had plans, but Miles called." Or MY personal favorite and the one that I'm convinced broke my heart at the tender age of thirteen, "Lauren, I think I'm in love with her."

His voice startled me out of my flashbacks. "Are you CRYING? What's wrong? Do you need me to come and get you?" That one almost made me tense up. I didn't know how many times I had called Nicholas crying, and he had NEVER offered to drop everything to come and get me. I always ended up going to Joseph instead. But Nick was honestly like my drug. I knew he was bad for me, I'd had dozens of people tell me he was bad for me, but I kept going back, letting him DRAG me back into his life.

"Ok… If you're sure. Just let me know if you change your mind though. I'd do anything for you Mi." Go ahead Nick. Drive MORE stakes into my heart. Please. It feels wonderful.

"It's kinda weird you called me tonight. I was just dreaming of you." Nick breathed.

That was when the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I sincerely hoped that he didn't profess his undying love for her, because it's hard to explain randomly sobbing in the middle of your boyfriend's conversation with his exgirlfriend. I would know from personal experience. And every time, no matter what, it felt like he was stabbing me in the back. I knew that he didn't do it on purpose, he really did love me, just not the way he loved her, or the way that I loved him. I think that was the thing that hurt the most. It would be easier to deal with him hating me, but I don't think that he could ever hate me. He depends on me too much. Which pretty much sucks.

"Wait, he doesn't know you're talking to me, does he? It's not going to cause problems or anything?" he demanded quietly. Cause we wouldn't want precious Miss Miley to have troubles in life or anything like that. One of these times something's going to come out of my mouth and then I'll be in deep shit. But until then, I will continue to have sarcastic annoyed conversations with myself. Mostly because that is my one defense against the world that most people can't penetrate.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a clue." Nick replied after a moment of silence on his part. This would be the perfect time for me to turn over, tear-streaked face and all and show his sorry ass exactly how wrong he was. But, as always, I protected him before I even began to THINK of myself. No wonder my therapist thought I was beyond help anymore. I mean, she obviously didn't SAY that, because then I'd quit paying her and stuff, but… That was way off track. I needed to pay attention to this conversation so I wasn't blindly throwing out accusations when I broke up with him. For good, this time. I would move to Alaska if that's what it took to get away from this, this poison, this toxic relationship. Damn, no wonder Nicholas can right such good songs. His side job is breaking hearts.

"Okay. Don't worry; we can see each other soon. I'll find a way. Bye Miles." Nick whispered, seemingly remembering all of a sudden that he couldn't wake me or quite a few things would go horribly wrong.

After he hung up, I lay there for a couple of minutes before I rose, stretching and made my way to the bathroom. I had to be up in about an hour anyway, I reasoned, so getting ready now wouldn't hurt.

I turned the shower on, hot as it could go, knowing that it couldn't take away my pain, but that the scalding water would help me to relax.

There was a sudden knock on the door. "Laur? Hun, you know its Saturday right? You don't have work."

"Damn it." I swore loudly, a few stray tears slipping down my face. Nick pushed the door open and quickly strode across the room, pulling me into his arms when he saw my face. I weakly tried to get away from him, but he just gripped me even tighter, pushing me into his chest, stroking my hair, telling me that everything would be alright, over and over again. So I settled for a moment, crying softly into his shirt. I knew that this would probably be it. This could quite possibly be the end of my life as I knew it. Nick might not be a part of my life, at ALL, after this conversation, this inevitable fight we were going to end up having.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he mumbled into my hair. "Why are you crying?"

"I heard you," Well. Okay. I guess THAT'S how this is going to go. Thank you, filter on my mouth, for working oh so wonderfully.

"Heard… heard me what sweetie?" Nick asked nervously. He sounded like he had just been caught lying for the first time in his life.

"Wow. I honestly thought you'd be able to come up with a better defense than that." I shot at him bitterly. "I HEARD you Nicholas. On the phone. Just now. With Miley." It just wasn't gunna stop was it? Sooner or later I'd be telling him that I was the one who had first leaked those pictures of him with Selena so Miley would get jealous – not one of my proudest moments. That's what jealousy does to a fourteen year old.

"Oh." He said softly, allowing me to pull away this time and instead leaning in to turn off the shower.

"Yeah, Nick, 'Oh.'" I mocked bitterly. "That will solve everything. Just say oh. Better yet, don't say anything at all. It's worked for you thus far, why not roll with it right? Why fix something that isn't broken? Oh, I know! Because something IS broken. This, this whatever this THING that you and I have is. I wouldn't call it a relationship because you obviously aren't as committed to me as either of us would like to believe. But I wouldn't call it a friendship because it's much more than that. And it's not really friends with benefits, because there aren't any benefits that I'm aware of, physical or otherwise. In fact, whatever it is that we have here, it kinda SUCKS. And I'm done. I'm sorry, Nick, but I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that you love me when I know that you don't. It hurts too much."

"Lauren, don't do this. Don't leave me." He begged, tears filling his eyes. "You can break up with me, I can get over that, but please, PLEASE, don't walk out of my life. I need you. You're my rock. My everything." He looked so pitiful, so precious, so innocent. And that, right there, is where, yet again, I gave in.

"Oh Nicky," I sighed. "You know I could never abandon you." My head was screaming at me 'What are you DOING?!? You had every opportunity to crush him!' But my heart was saying, 'You know you can't live without him anymore than he can live without you.'

So, that is why I put my Nicholas back to bed, promising that as soon as I got a drink of water, I'd be back in bed. Creeping out to the kitchen, I called my guardian angel.

"Hello?" he rasped into the phone.

"Joey?" I whimpered, trying not to burst into tears once again.

"I'll be there in fifteen," he promised, having gone through this more times than either of us cared to admit.

"Okay," I whimpered. "Joey?"

"Yeah, baby girl?" he sighed.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"I know baby, me too. I'll be there as soon as I can. Go to bed for a bit." He told me.

"K." I responded. I hated myself for continuing to put both of us through this. As much as I hated Nicholas for doing this to me constantly, I pretty much did the same thing to Joseph. I'd known he was in love with me for years, and yet I continued to cry on him and reach out for him every time his brother hurt me. And he let me, just like I let Nicholas. One of these days, one of us was going to crack and the other two were going to fall right along with them. It would be horrible, but it would be what Nicholas and I deserved. But Joseph, my sweet, sweet Joseph… He deserved the best in life. He deserved everything that I couldn't give him. And I didn't understand why he continued to put up with me and my crap, but I was eternally grateful for it.

I climbed into bed beside an already sleeping Nicholas, not looking at what song was playing on his iPod, knowing that it was better just to let it go. I tried to drift off, but I couldn't. My mind was racing with everything that had happened in the past few years, and a couple of realizations that I was slowly but surely coming to.

Then I was startled by the sound of someone whispering my name. I looked up, climbed out of bed and walked slowly toward my Joseph. When I got about two feet away, I launched myself into his arms, crying, trying not to wake Nick. Joe caught me, hoisted me into his arms and carried me into the living room after shutting the bedroom door. He sat down on the couch, me curled up in his lap. I don't know how long he let me sit there crying, with him rubbing my back and humming various songs that he knew would eventually help to calm me down. But I do know that while I was crying, I came to realize something life changing. I was in love. Not with Nick. No I was in love with the IDEA of Nick. But I was more in love with his brother.

And with that realization, my world changed.

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