author's note: hey guys! well, this is one of the new things i was working on.

author's note two: this is a one shot. it will not be multi chaptered.

disclaimer: i do not own the mortal instruments series. cassandra clare does. trust me. if i did own this series, it wouldn't be half as good as it is and jace and clary would have been together from the get go and there would have been incest so... yeah. i don't own city of ashes.

summary: Set during p172-174 (of the paperback copy) of City of Ashes when Jace and Clary kiss in order to leave the Queen of the Seelies' Court. Jace is troubled by the feelings this kiss brings out in him and he comes to a realization.

P172-174 of City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare

I Hope So

When the queen of the Seelie Court said that the kiss that will free Clary will be the kiss she most desires, Jace was ecstatic. He would finally be able to act on his feelings towards Clary. It was the moment he had been waiting for ever since the first time he kissed her and that time when he was about to kiss her in the moonlight before they were interrupted. But he was wary. Ever since they had learned from Valentine that they were related, they had both been on edge. Jace didn't really know how to approach her. Act like it never happened, or act like what they were should be - are? Jace didn't really know what to do. If you gave him a demon, Forsaken, even a Downworlder that caused trouble, he would beat them no sweat and could probably beat them all blindfolded with an arm tied behind his back. But with Clary and these feelings he had towards her, Jace had no clue what to do. He knew for a fact Clary reciprocated the feelings he had for her, and he knew this was a chance he couldn't just turn away from.

Jace turned toward Clary and he could see the uncertainty, indecision, doubt, and all other emotions that were bad he couldn't name. But he could also see the want. The desire. The love she had for him. She kept saying that it was just a kiss. Nothing more. Simon looked like he wanted to kill Jace and cry at the same time because he knew that deep down, Clary wanted Jace, and it killed Simon to know this.

Distractions aside, while Jace may have said it was just a kiss; his actions spoke a completely different story. He touched her as if she were a fond memory he couldn't dare to forget. He looked at her as if in his hands, at this very moment, he held the world in his hands and he knew that he could destroy all of humanity with just a simple twitch of his hands; but he wouldn't because the one person he loved more that fighting, being a Shadowhunter, the angels, the stars, the moon, the Lightwoods, than himself and everything he stood for, lived on this world, and he couldn't bear to part with her.

And then, they kissed. Jace's dry, cracked lips caught Clary's smooth, wet ones in a motion only described as graceful and instinctual. They hardly looked at each other as they both leaned closer to make themselves one. And when Jace's lips touched Clary's, like he told her, he felt like he belonged. Like there was finally in his god forsaken world of moving that made him want to stand still and gaze in to the eyes that belonged to these lips. He wanted to stop and learn every little thing about the one person he considers his one personal angel. He couldn't stand it; He had to have her closer. Jace moved his hands from Clary's clear face to her unmarked shoulders. It was another thing he liked, no, loved, about Clary. She didn't know too much of his destructive world. She was learning, granted, and she had a couple of marks, unlike his scarred body, and he loved this innocence about her because he wants to be able to be the one to teach her how to tell the demons apart, and how to fight, and teach her runes, and tell her all of the battles he fought over the years. Jace started to move his hands further down so they could wrap around her waist and bring her closer to him so they were truly one unit.

But he broke the bubble that surrounded them. He drew back before his hands fell any farther than her shoulders and looked at her. Jace was trying to reaffirm himself that it was just a kiss. But he knew that it wasn't just a kiss. This kiss was a declaration of his love for his sister. Of his love for Clary. He looked at her with longing, wishing that she didn't fade away as if she were a demon. Jace wanted to make sure that Clary was as desperate, as breathless as he was, because, even though he knew that Clary reciprocated his feelings, he was wary. That was the one thing no one could beat Jace at, being cautious, He did it to protect himself and the ones he cared for. And while he knew he should tell Clary everything, he couldn't, because, what if something was wrong? What if he was wrong about her feelings about him? So to avoid this daunting task of the complexity of their emotions, Jace strayed from it to protect both himself and Clary. He was angry at himself for doing this, however, so he started to irritate the Queen of the Seelie Court herself, and when that didn't grow to fruition, it was time to go.

And he knew he was right when he told Clary that it was already too late after she had said it was too late. It was already too late for him to ignore his feelings, his dreams, his hopes, his yearning for Clary. It was already too late to try and dig himself out so he could escape. It was already too late for him to resist the urge to just take Clary away from it all and just live in a hidden location for the rest of their lives. It was already too late, but Jace didn't mind, because he knew, that he could never fall again.

author's note: the page numbers are just a reference as to where this one shot is set. those page numbers apply to the paperback copy of the book. i don't know if the same applies for the hardcover copies or if those are different pages. i hope you guys enjoyed it, or liked it, or something. even if you hate it i'll be okay with that. please leave a review saying as little or as much as you want. also, if you do leave a review, can you tell me if there is something i need to improve or something i need to add or take out? flame me if you want, i've always wanted one just to say i got one. have a good day/afternoon/evening everybody!

author's note two: I would love to thank cerebella, BoulderGirl1059, and Christie for reviewing this story! your kind words are deeply appreciated!

author's note three: all spelling errors and grammar mistakes have been fixed and checked on in microsoft word, so, hopefully, that won't be such a huge problem anymore.