This is a story about Oliver Wood. See, after he graduated, he went to
play Quidditch professionally. He became known worldwide for being the
best Keeper ever. But that's not what I'm going to write about. I'm going
to write about his eyebrows, Billy and Bob, and how they can raise
attractively (or so some people think).
See, Alicia fell for the eyebrow raising, but Oliver blew her off because
she was two years younger than him. Cho Chang also loved his eyebrows, but
she was three years younger.
Billy and Bob didn't like being attached to such a picky, hotheaded boy,
but since they got a lot of attention on his handsome face, they didn't
spontaneously combust or anything. So Billy and Bob stayed attached to
Oliver Wood. He finally, after retiring, found a girl whose nose was dead
center and who only weighed 101 pounds even though she was 5'6". Her name
was Stick Chick. After they were happily dating and thinking of marriage,
Bob got an idea.
"Hey, Billy? I got an idea!" he said.
Billy answered, "Wow! There's a first! What kind of idea?
"Well, if we become regular unattractive eyebrows, just for like a
week, maybe Stick Chick will leave poor Ollie and he'll find true love with
a geeky normal person!" Bob was excited, now.
"Or at least Stick Chick will leave him! That would be funny! Let's
do it!" Billy agreed. So, they magically turned themselves into ordinary
eyebrows. If you didn't know, wizards' eyebrows are magical. Anyway, as
soon as Stick Chick sees his non-attractive eyebrows, she does this:
"It's over, Oliver. Don't speak to me ever again."
No, I don't hate Oliver Wood. I have a plan. See, he goes to a pub to sit
and cry and be miserable without his attractive eyebrows. Suddenly...
"What's the matter, tall, dark, and handsome?" Oliver looked up to
see a Madame-Rosmerta-like girl behind the counter.
"My attractive eyebrows are gone, to be replaced with these normal
ones!" Oliver whined.
"I think you are very attractive how you are now." The Madame-
Rosmerta-like girl behind the counter said.
"Really? Wanna marry me? I bought this ring for my girlfriend, but
she left as soon as my eyebrows were unattractive."
"Sure!" the Madame-Rosmerta-like girl behind the counter said.
So, they, being Oliver, Billy, Bob, and the Madame-Rosmerta-like girl
behind the counter, lived happily ever after.
THE END!
