Had a crappy day yesterday. And what do I do when I have crappy days? Yup, I write. I pushed all the stuff I was working on to the side and wrote this little one-shot because someone here asked for some ShuuRen a few weeks back. It's not beta'd, it's not that great, kinda close to word vomit actually, but it made me feel better to write some AngstFluff. xD Hope you all enjoy.

Morning Muddle

Renji awoke and slowly opened his eyes. The reality of the warm, solid body pressed against his back, and the quiet, steady breathing puffing against the skin of his neck, hit him the moment he resurfaced into consciousness. The red head's heart leapt into his throat and his lungs tightened so hard he couldn't take a breath in.

What should he do? Hisagi sempai was going to wake up any second and he had no idea what to say or think or do or anything!! He was lying in bed at o'dark thirty in the morning, completely fucking naked, with foremost mentioned friend's cum drying between his legs!!

Renji's entire body was so riddled with tension, that he felt some of the muscles in his sides might snap. He lay curled in a fetal position, hands fisted in bunched sheets, listening to Shuuhei's quiet breathing against his back. If he moved now, he was going to wake his friend up and there would be either the most profound awkwardness Renji had ever experienced, or there was going to be a fight. But if he stayed like this, Shuuhei would wake eventually and they were going to have to face the consequences of last night's actions anyway.

Last night… Fuck, last night had been wild. Shuuhei had been so drunk he couldn't see straight. Renji had taken advantage and now his friend knew everything. He'd never be able to look his sempai in the eye ever again. Fuck, Renji had moaned like a backstreet whore. He had begged and pleaded and cried-- fucking cried-- and told Shuuhei that he loved him! He had told Shuuhei that he loved him!! Over sixty years of friendship was lost down the tubes for one night of sex. Granted, it was mid-blowing, ball-busting, fantastic, incredible, fucking amazing sex… but that didn't matter because it was never going to happen ever again. Everything was shot to shit and Renji hated himself at that moment more than he had ever hated anyone in his entire life.

He should have just been happy with being his friend. Hisagi Shuuhei was kind to everyone, friendly with everyone he met, but everyone knew the Ninth Division vice Captain did not open up to just anyone. Renji was one of the few people that had the privilege of having Shuuhei' trust and respect; they laughed together and drank together and told each other their hopes and complaints. They shared their dreams and desires, Renji of course leaving out his unrequited feelings for Shuuhei himself, but other than that, there were no walls between the two of them.

But he had fucking blown it. Everything was over.

Renji felt a sob trying to force its way up from his gut. He clamped a hand over his mouth and felt the hot sting of tears building as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck… Damnit…

He was about to pull himself up, straighten, and slip out of bed to escape, but he was stopped as Shuuhei breathed in deep. He felt the older man stretching behind him, and the warm calloused hand he had not noticed was resting on his hip, slid away.

Shuuhei's movements ceased, and Renji lay in painful anticipation for several long moments. He readied himself for whatever was coming next. Maybe Shuuhei would attack him. Maybe he would roll him over and punch him awake. Whatever it was going to be, the red head waited for it with his breath caught and scalding tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

Then the worst happened. Something Renji had overlooked as a possibility, but it turned out to be infinitely more painful than anything he had anticipated.

Shuuhei sighed heavily and rose. He silently gathered his clothes and dressed quickly, opening the door to Renji's quarters and slipping out into the early morning. Renji lay in the stark silence of his room, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces. He turned his head, burying his face into the pillow. His sobs made no sound, but they were violent enough to wrack his entire body.

He left! Shuuhei had left him without a word! He was so disgusted and angry and disappointed that he couldn't even face Renji! It was so humiliating that the red head felt he was going to be sick. Nausea ate at his insides, making him dizzy with despair and self hatred.

Oh, he was so stupid! He was so fucking stupid!

He pulled himself into a sitting position and wiped at his eyes. His breathing had slowed, even if tears still ran down his cheeks. He rested his arms on his bent knees, the muscles in his lower back and ass protesting the position. Renji didn't move though, he wanted to feel the pain as long as he could, as intensely as he could to remind him of his mistake.

"Damnit…" he whispered angrily, his fingers running roughly through his hair.

Then his door opened.

Renji sat in the relative darkness, shocked into immobility as he watched Shuuhei's figure slip back inside his room. The dark-haired man was carrying something in his hands, and the smell of grilled fish and miso tickled Renji's nose.

"Hey, you're awake," Shuuhei whispered.

Renji could only stare, as his voice had left him.

Shuuhei placed the package he carried on the floor by the futon and crawled to sit beside the stunned red head. He gently pushed a lock of red hair out of Renji's eyes.

"How are you feeling? Your head hurt? You were pretty fucked up last night."

Renji's heart beat painfully against his ribs.

"N-no… I'm fine…"

Shuuhei's fingers stilled and pulled back. "Are you okay, Renji? You're acting funny."

Renji let out a shaky breath and tried not to trip over his words.

"You… um… you came back…"

Shuuhei scooted closer and ran his fingers fully through Renji's hair.

"Of course, I was starving. I went out for food and knew it'd be rude if I didn't bring some back for you." Shuuhei shifted again and cupped the side of Renji's face in his warm hand. "Really, Renji, what's going…" He trailed off as his thumb caressed through the wetness on the red head's cheek. He froze before he pulled Renji close and whispered softly against his skin.

"Renji… you're crying… Why are you crying?"

Renji wanted to lean into the other man's lips; Surrender to Shuuhei as the other man pushed him down on the futon once again and took him to a world he had never been to before. But all he could do was let out another long, shaky breath and answer.

"I… I thought…" He felt the tears coming on strong again, rolling heavily down his cheeks and over Shuuhei's fingers.

"I thought you were going to hate me because I took advantage of you being drunk. I thought you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore after this because it would be too awkward. I didn't know what to do and all I could do was lay there and then you woke up and left and I thought-"

Shuuhei silenced him with a kiss. He pulled Renji close and the red head melted against the older man's frame. He felt the dark-haired man's hands on his face, his throat, his shoulders and chest. His tension started to ease as Shuuhei held him.

"I'm not going anywhere," Shuuhei said softly. "Not after what you said last night." He wiped at Renji's tears and smiled. "I've been trying to think of a way to get in your pants for months, and last night you solved the problem. There was no taking advantage of anyone."

Renji stared, not entirely believing this was happening.

"You… have?"

Shuuhei nodded. "I have… But," he pulled away and reached for the package next to the futon, "we can talk about all this after we eat. My head hurts, and I need food."

Sunlight had started to filter in through the window, and it kissed the tips of Shuuhei's hair as he bent to pull out grilled fish, rice and pickled vegetables. Renji's stomach growled and he accepted the chopsticks Shuuhei offered as if in a trance. Sitting, eating breakfast in bed with the person he loved most in the world, had been such a far off dream for so long that having it actually happen was beyond surreal.

"Shuuhei?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"Hm?" Shuuhei looked up from separating the rice for the two of them.

"Are you… um…" Renji faltered.

Finally, he shook his head. He decided to trust his sempai as he always had and enjoy this time with Shuuhei to its fullest.

"Nothing," he smiled softly. "Just… good morning."

Shuuhei smiled brilliantly, and popped a piece of fish into his mouth.

"Good morning, Renji."

END