Disclaimer: Don't own, don't claim to own. You know the drill.
AN: So this has been on my mind ever since the episode aired. Imagine the possibilities, if Chloe has just looked to her right...
There are times in life when a single moment is all it takes for everything to change.
Such a moment occurred in the City of Angels – specifically, right in the middle of an LA fight club.
Officer Chloe Decker strode into the club and observed the fight below, looking for her suspect. She was unaware of the man beside her; unaware of his sudden shift from confidence to uncertainty when he sensed an unusual presence he'd never felt before. He, too, was unaware of her, and that she was the reason that his senses had picked up on a strange feeling…
A moment was all it took.
In another life, she would've turned away and walked down the stairs, too focussed on her job to notice the charismatic man beside her. In another life he saw her, but only when her back was turned, and his brother distracted him back to the task at hand. In another life they would finally meet again, but it would take another five years of their lives. Five years wasted, some might say.
This was not that life.
"So, what's the plan?"
Chloe frowned. She recognised that voice.
Turning to her left, the officer suddenly came face to face with the tall, dark haired man whose intense gaze caused her to take a step back. He looked her up and down before a wide grin broke across his face. "Hello."
The evident seduction in his voice awoke Chloe from her moment of pause, and she rolled her eyes at him. "Hi." Her gaze shifted to the man standing beside him, and she knew that her ears hadn't deceived her. "You."
It was the man from that morning, the one who had reported the mugging that had led to her investigation. He wasn't wearing the ridiculous clothes and sunglasses, but it was definitely him. Knowing that she may never find him again in such a huge city had disappointed her, and it was a shock to see him again. But luck was on her side, she supposed, and she wasn't about to pass on the opportunity.
"Me?" He frowned, and Chloe didn't know if he was faking his puzzlement or if he had genuinely forgotten her face despite only seeing her a few hours ago.
"You were the man who reported that mugging this morning," she helpfully supplied, stepping towards him.
His eyes widened. "Ah. Yes. Officer. Have you apprehended this Jack-O-Lantern?"
So, he was one of those people. "OK, I don't know if you're a jokester or just really dense, but the rendering you gave me was obviously a mask. If I can just take some time to question you on anything else you may have seen, it could be really helpful to the investigation."
"Oh, we're conducting a little investigation of our own," said the other man, and Chloe turned back to him. That wide grin was still etched across his face. "But we certainly wouldn't mind some help from you, Officer…?"
"Decker. Officer Decker. And it's probably for the best that you let the police handle this."
He shrugged. "Well, we made it to the same place you did, so I'd say we're pretty good." He held out his hand. "Lucifer. Morningstar."
Her eyebrows rose. She'd heard some pretty ridiculous names in her time living in LA, but that one had to take the cake. "Lucifer Morningstar? Is that a stage name, or something?"
"God-given, I'm afraid." Talk-Dark-And-Annoyingly-Handsome brought his hand back and nodded to the other guy. "And the man you had the unfortunate opportunity to meet earlier today is Amenadiel, my brother."
"Brother…" Chloe looked between them, only briefly contemplating how that could be possible, before adoption came to mind.
"Yes, I know what you're thinking. He's much less handsome than I am."
The other man, Amenadiel, rolled his eyes and glared at his brother. "Lucifer, you're wasting time." He then returned his gaze to Chloe, his eyes serious. She was starting to think he wasn't a jokester at all and just really clueless. "Officer Decker, I would appreciate it if you can help us find my necklace."
"Well, the guy who stole your necklace is the same guy I'm after, so I'll catch him," said Chloe. "But I need the two of you to step aside and let me handle this. I'll also have to ask you to come by the station in order to finish filing that report and to give an official statement."
Lucifer – that was his actual name? – chuckled, and she tuned back to him. "Come now, Officer, I'm sure we can strike a deal. So, tell me, what do you desire?" And then he stared at her, his gaze far more intense than before, like he was looking into her very soul.
Chloe blinked, completely thrown off by his question, before she raised her eyebrow. Was this guy really expecting her to answer that, when there was a killer on the loose? "Seriously? I don't have time for this. I have a job to do."
She missed the look of utter confusion on his face, because her gaze had caught sight of her original target: one of Tio's thugs, specifically the one Gil had described to her back at the gym. He was slinking through the crowd, and worried that she'd lose him, she left the two men behind and hurried down the stairs.
"LAPD! Freeze!"
Lucifer had no idea what went wrong.
"You see what I mean, brother? The law enforcement here isn't exactly helpful."
Amenadiel's hand on his shoulder shook Lucifer from his thoughts. "Yes, they can be annoying, but did you not just see what happened? I tried to draw out her deepest desire, and she rebuffed me. It was like I had absolutely no effect on her. And she didn't even give me that usual look of carnal fascination."
His brother shrugged. "Well, maybe your time on Earth is affecting you. Which is all the more reason for me to return you to Hell, where you belong."
Lucifer rolled his eyes. "I've been above ground longer than this before, brother, and I've never had any problems. Just this morning I was drawing out desires on the fly. It can't be that." He glanced at the people around him before spotting a woman standing further along the balcony, watching the fight below. "I'll show you."
"Luci, we don't have time for this…"
But Lucifer ignored him, walking straight up to the woman before he tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to him and gave him a smile. "Hi."
"Hello there. Quick question for you." He looked her deep in the eyes and concentrated. "What do you desire more than anything in this life?"
She couldn't look away. "I…I want her." Her hand pointed down at one of the women fighting in the arena. Specifically, the one dressed in pink. "She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
Lucifer smirked. "I must agree. Lovely choice. Well, don't let anything stand in your way. I suggest after the fight is over, you walk straight up to her and ask her out." The woman nodded with a huge smile on her face before disappearing down the stairs. When she was gone, Lucifer turned back to his brother. "See what I mean? Even the complicated ones can't look away, but that officer managed it without any effort at all. I propose we should report to her like she requested. Then I can try again."
Amenadiel shook his head. "No, Luci, we can't get distracted and we can't waste anymore time. Besides, involving her in this could expose her to an unhealthy amount of divinity. I didn't realize that before, and I shouldn't have gone to the law enforcement in the first place. We're on our own. So, what's the plan?"
"I…" His gaze drifted to where the officer was leading a man away in handcuffs. There was something about her… Something he couldn't place… He only spoke again when she was out of sight. "The plan is to get a drink. I can't think when I'm sober."
"Take him to the station. Hold him, and don't talk to him until I get back," Chloe told her colleague. The other officer nodded, before getting in the car and driving away with the suspect in the back.
Chloe sighed. She wanted to get a move on and question the guy, she really did, but she was unwilling to leave Rico's without talking to the two brothers again. She had a gut feeling that they wanted to solve this case on their own, and would be unwilling to stop by the station despite one of them already trying to report the crime. Not only that, but her gut also told her there was something else going on with them; something deeper. She couldn't put her finger on what, but she wanted to get to the bottom of it. And if it was nothing, well, at least she'd have more information about the case.
It didn't take long. The two brothers eventually stepped into the sunlight; Mr. Talk-Dark-And-Annoyingly-Handsome was smiling while Mr. A-Jack-O-Lantern-Stole-My-Necklace looked uncertain.
She quickly stepped in their path. "OK, I really need to have a word with you both."
Lucifer – she couldn't believe she'd have to refer to this guy by that name – paused in surprise before his smile widened. "Oh, what a pleasant surprise! I suppose we'll have to talk to you after all, Officer Decker." He sent his brother a sideways glance, and the other man rolled his eyes. "Right, before you say anything…" He suddenly levelled her with that stare again, and she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, "…what do you really desire?"
Really? What was this guy's deal? "This again? Look, I don't know what game you're playing, but I'm asking the questions, OK?"
The smile faded and he gave her a once over, his eyes full of confusion. "Strange."
That was one way to put it. "Yes, you are."
There was a pause. Then: "Did our Father send you?"
What? This was shaping up to be the strangest day. She shook her head, wondering how she was going to get through to these guys, before a thought occurred to her. Maybe if she told him what she wanted… "OK, look. What I want – or what I desire, or whatever – is to make detective. And if I make a breakthrough with this case, there's a good chance I'll get promoted at least next month. So, if either of you can be of any help to me, I'd really appreciate it."
Amenadiel's expression hadn't changed. But Lucifer's… Something she couldn't explain had crossed his face. The smugness and narcissism she'd detected before was gone, instead replaced with…sincerity and softness, if she wasn't mistaken.
"Well," he finally said, "far be it from me to deny someone what they truly desire. We'll give you everything we know, but…you'll have to let us assist you with this investigation. You help us, we'll help you, if you catch my drift?"
"Lucifer…"
"She might know something we don't, brother." Lucifer held out his hand. "Do we have a deal, Officer Decker?"
Making a deal with the Devil. Chloe almost laughed, but held her breath. It was unorthodox, letting civilians help with a case, but not unheard of. And Lucifer was right in that they'd somehow made it to Rico's, and she wanted to know how they managed to get this far. They both wanted the same goal she did, so it wasn't like they'd be a hindrance. There were worse ways to catch a crook.
With a sigh, she shook his hand. "Fine."
"Lovely!"
Amenadiel rolled his eyes. "I suppose it'll help us find my necklace faster. But can we talk somewhere else instead of at your place of work?"
Chloe hadn't seen any harm in taking the two men someplace else to talk, but at the same time, she hadn't wanted to take any risks. So, she took them to the Paddock for a drink, knowing there would be other officers around. Malcolm and Anthony were there, off-duty and enjoying themselves. She would've preferred different officers, but they would have to do.
She soon forgot all about them in light of the story Lucifer and Amenadiel told her.
"Let me get this straight. You identified someone by their…boobs?"
"Of course!" Lucifer grinned. The three of them were sat at the bar, drinks in front of them. Lucifer had ordered her one as well, despite her protests. "They're a fantastic pair. So, we went and spoke with Miss Canyons, and she gave us some very useful information."
"She told us that someone tried to pressure Aiden Scott into throwing a fight at Rico's," Amenadiel explained.
Finally, something useful. "That would be pretty good motive for a murder. Our guy tries to convince Aiden to take a fall, he refuses, the guy gets angry and kills him."
"But why would he steal my necklace?" Amenadiel asked.
"He probably tried to make Aiden's death look like a random mugging gone wrong," Chloe explained. "So, he mugged you in order to make it look more convincing. I have one of Tio's thugs in custody right now; the guy who owns the gym said Aiden got into an argument with him a few weeks back. I'll question him and see where that leads."
"Yes, and while you do that, we have a plan of our own," said Lucifer. "We got acquainted with Tio, and he's going to arrange a fight for us with Amenadiel as a fighter. We're hoping that it might flush out the killer slash necklace thief – by having him approach us in the same way he approached Aiden with a similar deal."
"Hey Decker!"
Great. This is the last thing I need right now. Chloe turned slowly to the men across the room, and Lucifer and Amenadiel also turned to look. "Yes, Malcolm?"
He and Anthony were sat side-by-side, drinks in hand. They were both grinning. "Does your husband know you're hanging out with two studs like them?" Malcolm yelled across the bar, gaining the attention of some other people around them.
With a sigh and an eye roll, Chloe turned her back on him.
"You're married?" asked Lucifer.
She held up her hand and showed him the ring. "Happily, I might add. So cut the flirting to a minimum. Or just cut it completely. I'll appreciate that."
"Marriage hasn't stopped me before. Why should it stop me now?" And that grin was back, the one she wanted to punch so badly and ruin those perfectly white teeth.
At least Amenadiel looked just as annoyed as she felt. "Luci, cut it out."
"But brother, I'm conducting a little investigation of my own: why our officer friend here doesn't look at me like she wants to eat me at the all-you-can-eat sex buffet."
She wouldn't just punch out his teeth, she wishfully thought. She'd break his nose, too. It was long and looked very breakable. He'd have to get plastic surgery to get it fixed. "You're just full of ego, aren't you?"
If she could admit one thing, it was that the look of complete confusion on his face was oddly adorable. "I just can't put my finger on it. I appeal to all the dark and mischievous parts in women. And some men, too. But you, Officer Decker…you seem oddly immune to my charms."
Her eyebrow lifted. "Referring to them as charms, I think, is a bit of a stretch. Truth be told, I find you repulsive. Like, on a chemical level." Well, he was handsome enough, but his personality left much to be desired.
He only continued to stare. "It's fascinating."
"As riveting as this conversation is," Amenadiel interrupted, "we still need to find the man who stole my necklace. So, can we get going?"
"Yes, we absolutely can." Chloe hopped off the bar stool. "I'll go question our suspect, while you two can go and talk to Tio, or whatever." She gave Amenadiel a once-over. "OK, I get that you're built like a tank, but how did you manage to impress Tio enough to let him arrange a fight for you? I know a gun can be pretty intimidating, but I find it hard to believe some random guy managed to overpower and mug you."
Lucifer was the one who answered. "Oh, that's because the mugger shot him."
Chloe could only stare at them both. "…What?"
"Luci, seriously…"
"What? She asked a perfectly reasonable question, and I answered."
"You could've lied!"
"I don't lie, brother."
"Wait…" Chloe looked Amenadiel up and down. Even a non-fatal bullet wound needed treatment, and he would be in the hospital for at least a few days in order to recover from it. And yet, he was walking around as if nothing had happened. "You were shot? But you're…you're…"
"I was…wearing…a very thick…jacket…" Amenadiel tried to explain.
Chloe gave him a 'really?' look. "How about you tell me the truth?"
"Gladly!" Lucifer said with a smile. "I'm the Devil and Amenadiel is an Angel of the Lord. We're immortal; no mortal weapons can hurt us, which includes guns. Obviously, the mugger caught Amenadiel off-guard, which temporarily puts us out of action for around ten seconds, during which time the mugger slash murderer stole the necklace."
Wow. That was… Wow. "You really expect me to buy that?"
Lucifer went to say something else, but Amenadiel quickly kicked his shin, shutting him up. "Does it really matter what happened? What's important is catching this killer, correct?"
She sighed. That was more important than a pair of idiots lying their asses off about who they really were, though she hoped that they hadn't been lying about their information. She sensed that they hadn't. "Fine. But once this is over, you're both gonna give me the whole truth. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal, Officer Decker." Lucifer's grin was like the Cheshire Cat's as he handed her a folded piece of paper. "Meet us here once you're done and we can compare notes."
She gave him a nod and turned away, but managed to catch what Amenadiel said as she left; something about almost revealing the truth to her, and how they would have to leave once the case was done.
Yeah, right. Unless they suddenly sprouted wings and flew away, there was a fat chance of that happening.
Chloe wanted to kick herself. Of course Dan wouldn't want her to go talk to the lawyer. He always played it safe, and it frustrated her to no end. How many killers had managed to get away because her husband refused to take risks? Always played things by the book, not exploring different avenues in his cases?
She hoped that Lucifer and Amenadiel had made better progress.
The address led her to the wealthier part of the city, to a building she was somewhat familiar with; it wasn't a hotel per say, but a place where people could rent rooms for pleasure over a short period of time. She wasn't surprised that Lucifer had rented one out, and hoped she wasn't about to walk in on some orgy or wild part. He seemed like the type.
She knocked on the door, and it didn't take long for Lucifer to answer. He grinned when he saw it was her. "Officer Decker! You're just in time!"
"In time?"
"I've discovered something fantastic!"
Good. He'd found a lead. "Great. I've potentially hit a dead end." She stepped inside and he shut the door behind her. "I found out that Tio fixes fights for a local crime family. Meaning that he probably tried to fix Aiden's fight, Aiden refused and Tio killed him for it. It's just a theory, and I wanted to talk to Tio's lawyer in order to make a deal, but apparently that's too big a risk for this investigation."
"Oh, yes, that sounds terrible, but I was talking about something else." That grin was on his face again, and really, it should've tipped Chloe off. He led her into the living room area, pointed at the TV where-
Oh no.
This was not happening…
"Oh God."
"Don't let my Dad ruin the moment, Officer! Or should I say, Chloe." Lucifer was practically giddy with excitement as he moved around the couch and picked up the dreaded DVD case for Hot Tub High School. "This is a true gem of cinema! And that nude scene, I mean… I've seen a lot of topless woman in my time, but that was phenomenal! Why didn't you tell me you were in such a masterpiece?"
Chloe finally found the will to move, and she launched herself across the room, snatching up the remote and switching the TV off. "Because it's embarrassing!" She then yanked the DVD case from his hands and hid it under a pillow on the couch. It wouldn't stop him from retrieving it again, but it set her at ease knowing it was out of sight.
"On the contrary, Officer Decker, I see absolutely nothing to be ashamed of," he insisted. "You should be proud of yourself."
"Right. Because stripping in front of a camera is the perfect way to contribute to society."
"Of course it is! That's why there're hardly any porn stars in Hell. It's because of all the great work they do here."
Oh great, and he was bringing his "I'm the Devil" thing into it, as well. Wonderful. "Look, it's bad enough that my mother keeps bringing it up whenever she visits-"
"Wait…" There was recognition in his eyes. Shit. "Your mother's not Penelope Decker, is she? Queen of eighties cheese-ball sci-fi?"
Chloe flinched, but had to nod. "Yeah."
"Oh, now you have to introduce me!"
"I don't. I really don't."
His head tilted quizzically. "With a family legacy like yours, why didn't you keep making movies? What could possibly have derailed you from such a glamourous lifestyle and dumped you here, as a police officer for the LAPD?"
Maybe it was being confronted by the movie again. Maybe it was just Lucifer being annoying. Maybe it was her frustration at Dan for not letting her take a risk. Or maybe it was a combination of all three. Regardless, she found herself losing her temper.
And so she snapped, without meaning to, and said, "My father died!"
The reaction was instant. The smile left his face, all humour vanished, and Lucifer stared at her with shock and, unless she was mistaken, sympathy. "Oh." He actually looked apologetic.
Chloe took a deep breath and let it out, before sinking to sit on the couch. There was no use keeping the story from him, now that it was out in the open. "Around the time the movie was released, my dad was on duty one evening and…and he was only picking up a sandwich when some random thug came in wanting to rob the place, and…and he shot my dad. He didn't ask him to put his hands up or anything. He just…shot him without a second thought, all because he wanted some cash. And then to make my life even worse, some paparazzo crashed the funeral because he wanted a picture of me. I punched him in the face just as he took the picture. It was in the tabloids everywhere."
"Well…" She looked up and found Lucifer sat on the couch next to her. "I can assure you that both individuals will definitely be going to Hell when they die."
She didn't react to his comment; just took another deep breath to stop herself from crying. "After losing my dad, and the fallout of that picture, I realized that I didn't want to act. I just wanted to help people, like my dad. Being a cop… It feels right."
The look he was giving her was one of curiosity. "Chloe Decker, you are possibly the most peculiar human I've ever met."
And the strangeness was back. "I'm hoping that was a compliment."
"Oh, it is."
Footsteps approached from down the hall, and Chloe turned to see Amenadiel enter the room. "Officer Decker. Please tell me you have some good news?"
"Unfortunately, no," she explained. "As I said to Lucifer, Tio fixes fights for a local crime family, but I'm not allowed to talk to his lawyer due to a case being made against the crime family in question."
"Judging by the disappointment on your face, brother, I'm guessing Tio doesn't have your necklace?" Lucifer asked.
Before Chloe could ask what they meant by this, there was a loud grunt from down the hall. Like someone was tied up and their mouth had been covered-
Chloe shot to her feet. "Please tell me you haven't kidnapped someone."
"Oh, just Tio," said Lucifer. As if kidnapping people was normal for him. "We're trying to get him to tell us where the necklace is."
"He claims to not know it's whereabouts," said Amenadiel as he sat down in an armchair.
As if her day couldn't get any worse… Chloe closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let it out again. This wasn't the time to get angry. These people were clearly crazy, and as she saw earlier, clueless when it came to social norms.
She just never thought she'd ever be in a position to explain that kidnapping was bad. Even if the victim was a bad person.
"Do you realize…that you've potentially just jeopardized this entire investigation? Kidnapping is wrong, no matter who it is you're kidnapping, and if Tio goes and tells his lawyer what happened to him-" She pressed her fingers to her temples. This was bad, so bad… "Screw it. The deal's off. I'm calling this in, and you'll both be taken in for questioning."
Both men immediately shot to their feet. "You're breaking our deal?" Lucifer actually looked betrayed.
"Officer Decker, you don't understand," Amenadiel said. "The longer this necklace is here, the more humanity is exposed to divinity. If you bring in more humans, then the risk of a global catastrophe only climbs-"
"Will you shut up about this…angel and devil nonsense?!" Chloe yelled. "This is serious! A man is dead, and all you seem to care about is your stupid necklace! I suggest that both of you tell me what's going on, right now, or else I'll drag your sorry asses to the station and you can explain yourselves there!"
Lucifer sighed. "Very well. You wish to have all the facts, and I suppose that's only fair."
Amenadiel's eyes widened. "No, Luci, don't-"
There was a sudden flash of white.
And Chloe's mind couldn't comprehend what she saw next.
Wings.
Actual, honest to god wings.
They were both white, and protruded from Lucifer's back like they were completely natural. They were, well, pretty much what anyone would expect angel wings to look like, only…they were more beautiful. They were the most gorgeous things she'd ever seen in her life.
Her brain was stuck on the beauty of the wings for who knew how long, before it started to process what exactly she was seeing and what that meant. Lucifer…angels, the Devil…
She stumbled backwards, hands held out in front of her. "This… You… Oh my God."
Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Let's not bring Dad into this, please?"
God…
The room started getting dizzy, and Chloe shook her head to stop it from happening. She told herself she wasn't going to faint, because she was a cop who was trained to deal with stressful situations… But then there was nothing in the handbook about stumbling across an actual angel who was actually the Devil…
She turned to the couch and placed both hands on the arm rest, supporting herself before she really did faint. Then she closed her eyes and focussed on her breathing, in and out, in and out, devils and angels, wings and divinity…
"You have…wings," she finally managed to say.
There was a whooshing sound, and she looked up to see that Lucifer had hidden his wings…wherever it was he hid them. How did that work? Considering the fact that they could obviously fly, that suggested that the laws of physics didn't really apply to these guys… She grabbed hold of the rational part of her brain and held on tight. If she rationalized how all this could be possible, then she could stay sane.
"Yes, that's a requirement for being an angel," said Lucifer. He was talking normally, like all this was normal, and it actually helped ground her fragile mind. "Amenadiel has a pair as well, but his aren't as pretty."
"Luci, what did you do?!" the other angel's angry voice made her jump, and she flinched away from them.
Lucifer held out a hand as if to steady her or reassure her, before he stood in between the two of them; between her and his brother. "What choice did I have, brother? You said yourself that we need to have as few humans involved in this as possible, and Chloe calling her friends at the LAPD would've led to more complications. And since I don't lie and you can't lie to save your life, the only way to get her to cooperate was to tell her the truth. And as you can see, her brain hasn't fried, so no harm done."
"Jury's still out on the brain-frying," she couldn't help but quip, hoping that a joke would ground her further.
She felt a hand on her back, and jumped again. When she looked up, she met Lucifer's gaze and…he actually looked a little hurt by her reaction. "Chloe, I'm sorry, but I didn't know what else to tell you."
"No…" She shook her head. His words processed in her mind and she understood. "I get why you showed me, and…and I appreciate your honesty…"
He moved around her, and then she heard the cork coming off a bottle and a glass being poured. When she looked up at him again, he was handing her a glass of what smelled like wine. He gave her a hesitant smile. "I can't think when I'm sober. It might help."
Drink. Yeah, she really needed a drink. She took the glass and attempted to give him a weak smile. "Thanks." For a guy who was actually the Devil, she realized, he was…well, an egotistical asshole, but the charming fun kind instead of the sleazy scumbag variety. And surprisingly considerate when he needed to be.
The wine seemed to finally stabilize her fragile mind, once it had trickled down her throat. She took a seat on the couch again, giving her wobbly legs a rest. Her mind continued to work, trying to make sense of the revelation and what it all meant.
"Do you understand now?" Amenadiel appeared to have calmed down, but Chloe couldn't bring herself to look up at him.
She instead kept her gaze on her lap and nodded. "Humanity will break if anyone finds out what that necklace is."
"Even if they don't find out what it is and where it came from, humans will be drawn to its presence like a moth to a flame," said Lucifer. "They'll fight over it. Wars have been started for less."
"We have to do whatever we can to get it back before that happens," Amenadiel continued. "I serve a higher purpose, Officer. To do what I have to do, I can't abide by your human laws."
She supposed that made sense. They weren't human; they were both so much more than that. She couldn't expect them to follow human rules, nor did she have the strength and will to prosecute them. It would just be a waste of time. And with humanity at stake… "OK. I get it. You have to…do what you have to do. Just…please don't kill him."
"We couldn't, even if we wanted to," said Lucifer. "Dad's Rule Number One: Angels aren't allowed to kill humans. You don't want to know the consequences if one does."
Yeah, she really didn't. "So how are you going to make him tell you where the necklace is?"
Amenadiel sighed. "I was going to ask Lucifer to torture him, but I don't think you'd exactly be comfortable with that option."
"You got that right." Sure, they needed to take extreme measures, but she wasn't about to let them physically harm a person. Even if that person was a scumbag.
"There are many ways to torture a human without laying a finger on him," Lucifer explained. "For instance, we're making some of the more truly terrible in Hell watch a new series of films you humans have created. How did you come up with something so awful as Twilight, anyway?"
Chloe bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. "We've been asking ourselves that question, too."
"Yes, and we've also bee playing music by a chap named Bieber. Gosh, you should hear the screams."
That time she chocked a little in trying not to laugh. The Devil had a sense of humour. Who knew?
Amenadiel just rolled his eyes. "Instead of telling us about the torture methods, Lucifer, how about you actually go and do it?"
"Just because I'm the King of Hell, doesn't mean I actually do the torturing," the Devil explained. "I'm more of a delegator. But I assumed this was going to happen. So, I popped back down to Hell while you were in there and before Chloe showed up, and I brought up the best. You remember Mazikeen?"
The other angel's eyes suddenly narrowed, just as a woman appeared from another room with two knives in her hands. Her hair was dark, and she wore some kind of armour that looked both medieval and exotic. Everything about her screamed 'danger', and Chloe tensed up just looking at her.
The woman slowly walked around Amenadiel, who rose to his feet and stared down at her with thinly concealed hate. "Yes, I do."
Chloe shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Lucifer…?"
"Maze is a demon," he explained. "Hell's best torturer."
A demon. An actual demon. And she looked…human.
The demon in question turned on her heel, and her eyes locked with Chloe's. "Human." She smirked and began to walk towards her, but Lucifer quickly leapt to his feet and stood in her path.
"No, down, Mazikeen. She's not the human who needs torturing," he quickly explained. "And I'm surprised you didn't come running when we were yelling at each other."
She shrugged. "Didn't feel like it."
"Of course you didn't." Lucifer pointed towards the hallway. "The human is down there. Try not to enjoy yourself too much. Don't kill him, and preferably use mental torture instead of physical. A few rounds of Nickelback should do the trick."
The demon, Mazikeen, walked away and disappeared down the hall. There was a very long, silent paused which could have easily lasted several minutes, Chloe wasn't sure. Eventually she let out a sigh. "OK, so she's…scary. Do you all look so human?"
"That's mostly glamour," Lucifer explained. "In reality half of Maze's face is like a corpse. Think Two-Face from those Batman comics. I have another face as well, but since I like you speaking in coherent sentences and not wetting your pants in terror, I'd rather not show it to you."
"Thanks…I guess." Chloe frowned, a thought occurring to her. "So, what are you guys doing here on Earth anyway?"
Lucifer smiled. "Well, ever now and again I like to take a break from the screaming and the fire and brimstone and enjoy myself. I've been doing it for centuries, even met up with the likes of Oscar Wilde and William Shakespeare."
"Shakespeare? Seriously?" And suddenly the world she had found herself entangled in sounded exciting. Any trace of fear melted away as she gave the Devil himself her undivided attention.
"Yes. Wilde was even straight when I met him, but that soon changed." He chuckled to himself. "But every time I come up, and just when I'm starting to enjoy myself, my nosy angelic brother with a stick too far up his own arse shows up and ruins my fun by taking me back to Hell."
"I'm only doing what Father commands, Luci," Amenadiel argued. "And I've told you countless times before that celestial beings aren't allowed to interact here."
Chloe frowned again, looking between the two. "Now, hold on. If Hell is as terrible a place as the Bible makes it out to be, then being down there all the time has gotta take its toll. And you're telling me your brother isn't allowed at least a few breaks every now and again? To get away from it every once in a while?"
"It's dangerous for humanity to be exposed to the divine."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, I seem to be handling it OK. Too OK, maybe. I'm…kinda surprised myself." She looked away as the dizziness began to creep back in. "Maybe I'll have a little mental breakdown when I get home tonight…"
"Oh, none of that, Chloe, you were doing so well before." Lucifer's hand reached out, but he hesitated before he touched her and pulled it back again.
She sighed. "I think I'll just need some time to process all this, once this case is finished."
"You don't have anything to worry about, Officer," said Amenadiel. "Once I have my necklace back, you can go back to your normal life and we'll get out of your hair. I'll take my brother back to Hell, then I'll return to the Silver City, and you'll never hear from any of us again."
A strange look crossed Lucifer's face, and Chloe wanted to ask what he was thinking. But before she could, Maze walked back into the room with a huge grin on her face.
"Well, that human didn't kill anybody." She was carrying a toilet plunger in her hand, and Chloe really didn't want to know what she'd used it for. The demon took a seat and glanced at Amenadiel. "And he doesn't know where your stupid necklace is, either."
The sound of sobbing could be heard from down the hall, and Lucifer turned curiously in the sound's direction. "Also a bit of a crier, it seems. I hope you didn't go too hard, Maze, he's not in Hell. Yet."
"Oh no. Those are tears of joy." She grinned, licking her teeth.
"So he's a masochist!" Lucifer turned to Chloe. "They can be quite tricky." He turned back to Maze. "What did you use to inflict the pain?"
Chloe bit her lip. "Do we really need to talk about this?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but at least it sounded like the demon didn't hurt Tio…
"Nothing." At Lucifer's puzzled look, she elaborated further. "In Hell I have to use their own guilt against them as torture. The method is chosen for them, but here, Lucifer… Infinite possibilities. I got so excited…I just had sex with him!" Amenadiel looked grossed out, and Chloe had to agree that the mental picture wasn't pretty. "And he wouldn't shut up!"
Looking between them all, Chloe hesitantly asked, "So, what? That's how Hell works? Using people's guilt against them?"
"Most of the time, yes," said Lucifer. "But occasionally we hand-pick a few to be tortured in other ways, like finding out what they love and creating a scenario where it's taken from them. Or we use other torture methods, like the music and the films I mentioned, and then sometimes we just use the old fashioned medieval methods."
"Enough!" Amenadiel got to his feet and faced Maze. "That man tried to bribe me into throwing a fight, alright? Now he practically admitted doing the same with Aiden Scott, so he must be lying to you!"
Her smile faded and she returned his glare. "Nobody lies to me. The human said he wanted to fix the dead man's fight, but someone beat him to it. Said someone placed a huge anonymous bet; half a million dollars on Aiden Scott losing."
Now they were getting somewhere. "Whoever placed that bet probably killed Aiden Scott," Chloe thought aloud.
"And stole my necklace," Amenadiel added. In case anyone in the room had forgotten.
Chloe turned her attention to Maze. "Did he say who it was?"
The demon just looked somewhere between bored and annoyed. "Tio doesn't know who it was. Said they only communicated anonymously through…burner phones and dead drops?"
"He didn't want anyone knowing his identity, even Tio." She sighed. That made things more difficult.
"So Tio has no idea who this man is, and no way of finding out," Amenadiel concluded, turning his glare on Maze again. "Which basically means your so-called torturer has been useless."
Maze climbed to her feet and levelled her glare right back at him. "You wanna go, bird boy?"
"Ooh, now this is getting interesting." Chloe turned to find Lucifer watching the pair intently, with a bucket of popcorn in his hands. Where he'd gotten the popcorn from, she had no idea.
She looked around. There she was, stuck in a room with the Devil himself, one of his demons and an Angel of the Lord. If someone had told her that morning this was where her day would lead her, she would've told them to have their head examined. "What even is my life right now?"
Amenadiel didn't take his eyes of Maze when he said, "Luci, we still need to find this thief."
"Are you not gonna…?" Lucifer put the popcorn down with a disappointed sigh. "Very well. Whoever stole your necklace tried to gamble on a sure thing, so maybe we could persuade our thief to gamble on another?"
"That's good." Chloe nodded along, a plan forming in her mind. "Whoever killed Aiden was probably looking for a big payday, so he'd be looking for another one fast. If we convince the killer to bet on Amenadiel's fight, and he takes the fall, then we wait wherever the money is supposed to be dropped off and we see who shows up."
Lucifer grinned. "If you don't make detective, then your entire department is full of complete morons." He turned to the demon. "Maze, do you think you can persuade Tio to arrange that?"
She picked up the toilet plunger, and Chloe really didn't want to know what she was planning. "Where should I begin?"
It didn't take long for everything to be arranged. Tio agreed to get back in contact with the anonymous bidder and arrange another pay-out, and they let him go with a promise not to tell anyone about what had happened. Lucifer managed to pull this off by looking right at him and doing…something. One minute Tio was just a little nervous, but then the next he looked terrified and couldn't get away faster.
Chloe recalled what Lucifer had said about his "other" face, and decided it was best she didn't know what he'd done.
Maybe her head was still spinning and she just didn't know it. Her entire world view had been turned on its head in the course of a few hours, and yet, she was still standing. Her brain hadn't fried, and she was more intrigued by it all rather than fearful.
She wondered briefly if, tomorrow morning, she'd just brush it off as some kind of dream or hallucination. But then she remembered the wings and realized that she could never forget them, or tell herself they weren't real.
"Do you guys have a number I can call?" she asked, when she was ready to leave.
"We don't have phones," said Lucifer.
She was about to ask who wouldn't have a phone in this day and age, before reminding herself who she was talking to. They really had no reason for phones. "We need to communicate."
"How about we leave a note here early tomorrow, telling you where the pick-up will be?" he suggested as he walked her over to the door.
She nodded. "My biggest problem is trying to explain all this to Dan."
"Dan?"
"The detective working this case. He's also my husband."
"Oh." He appeared thoughtful for a moment. "How about you talk to that lawyer you mentioned earlier? If you play your cards right, you might be able to get similar information out of them, and then your husband won't have any reason to suspect all of this."
She sighed. "Dan said it was a risk."
"Forget what Detective Douche said!" he told her. "From what I can see, the police department is a stereotypical man's-man's world which forces you to struggle to be taken seriously. But consider this: they're threatened. You're clearly smart and have notable instincts. Ignore them and trust yourself."
His words filled her with confidence she'd always had but had somehow forgotten when she was standing in front of Dan. Following her gut and taking initiative had gotten her this far, and yet, she was going to back down because her husband told her to? The answer was simple, and already she was figuring out what she was going to say to the lawyer when she got there.
"You're absolutely right," she said. "I am going to go right up to that lawyer, tell them what their client is doing, and I'm not gonna leave until I get the answers I want."
"There we go." Lucifer's smile was different than before. The smugness and seduction was gone, leaving behind one that actually looked genuine. "And don't be afraid to use dirty tactics. Trust me, we have an entire wing in Hell just for lawyers; most of them deserve everything they get."
"Good to know." It was oddly comforting knowing that the perps who got away eventually got what was coming to them.
She turned to open the door, but then turned back when Lucifer spoke again. "Chloe, I… Are you certain you're fine? You've taken this remarkably well, and I'm afraid that there might be a delayed reaction coming."
Maybe there was. But Chloe was almost certain she'd deal with it if it came. "I'll probably need some time to process all this…while consuming plenty of alcohol. But, I like to think of myself as an open-minded person, and I'm willing to accept that all of this is real. And if not, I'll just make some therapist really rich."
He still looked uncertain, and Chloe suspected that his concern ran a little deeper than just her reaction to the existence of divinity. "Well, when you're sitting down and allowing yourself to process this, can I ask you to remember just one thing?"
She shrugged. "Sure."
For a moment, he hesitated. His eyes never left hers, and while the stare was intense, it wasn't like before. This one was…almost pleading. Desperate. "Know that I mean you no harm. Whatever vile things you've heard about me… They're simply not true. I mean, I rebelled against my Dad and was condemned to Hell for it, but I don't make people commit atrocities. I simply punish them for it."
His words, spoken with hesitancy and maybe even fear, made Chloe realized that when her thoughts had been running wild after seeing his wings, she'd never once thought he was going to hurt her. Something about the way he acted and the way he spoke to her didn't scream 'you must fear me', and the fact that he assumed she was afraid of him… It was actually sad.
Chloe had never been religious. Her parents had taken her to church once when she was seven, and even at that young age she was able to understand what she heard and draw her own conclusions: that she hated the experience. The priest was both preachy and judgemental, and the idea of following a centuries-old book to the letter just didn't sit comfortably with her. Of course, she didn't judge people who believed in it all, because everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but it just wasn't for her.
And movie depictions of the Devil always made her roll her eyes. Horns, tail, pitchfork… It was way too goofy to be taken seriously. Her mother had even turned down a roll in a movie which included such a depiction of the Devil.
"I always thought the Devil gets a bad rep," she had said to Chloe afterwards. Who knew she wasn't far off the marker. And Chloe found herself agreeing; she'd never liked the idea of one evil entity being responsible for all the bad in the world. That took away accountability, and she believed that people needed to be held responsible for their actions.
The fact that the Devil was actually a punisher of evil instead of evil incarnate was something she could get behind.
"I'm not afraid," she admitted. "OK, I was a little afraid of Maze, but you have to admit that she was pretty intimidating."
"Oh, that's perfectly alright. Maze would love to hear that." He looked relieved. "But not of me?"
"Nope." She shook her head. "Honestly, I kind of like you better now than I did before, when I thought you were just an asshole."
"Oh, be still my heart. Do go on." And the seductive grin was back.
She rolled her eyes. "Did you forget the part where I'm married?"
"Then bring you husband. We could make it a threesome."
It was definitely time to leave. She opened the door and gave him a final look. "When Hell freezes over."
As she was walking away down the hall, he called out after her, "I can arrange that!"
The case wrapped up the next day.
Chloe managed to talk to Tio's lawyer – a woman by the name of Charlotte Richards, who for some reason rubbed her the wrong way – and made an arrangement. Tio swore to Charlotte that he had nothing to do with the murder, and in order to prove it would help them catch the killer. He didn't say a word to Chloe about Lucifer or Amenadiel; judging by the look in his eyes he was afraid to say anything.
He gave Chloe and Dan the location where he'd be dropping off the cash, and they arranged a stake out. Dan was worried that she'd taken an unnecessary risk, that Tio would alert his bosses and destroy the case against them, but Chloe was certain it was worth it. If only because Lucifer had scared him into complying. She was even more certain after going back to the room where the celestial trio (a name she'd given them the previous evening when drinking and coming to terms with the revelation) were staying and found a note giving her the exact same location of the drop-off, along with instructions to let the two angels take the killer away temporarily in order to get the necklace back.
Lucifer had also mentioned in the note that he wanted to meet her a Rico's when all this was over. She wondered what he wanted to talk to her about.
Tio appeared as planned, but the surprising part came when Gil, the owner of the gym, revealed himself to be the killer. She let Lucifer and Amenadiel whisk him away, and then managed to convince Dan to stick around while she waited for them to drop him back off – which they did. He was withering in fear, and confessed to the murder immediately. Chloe guessed that Lucifer had given him a good scare.
It took a few hours to get an official confession out of Gil and a statement from Tio. Dan wanted to stay late in order to finish the case report, leaving Chloe free to leave. The babysitter was still watching Trixie, so Chloe made her way to Rico's in order to meet Lucifer.
She was surprised to find the place empty; the only person there was Lucifer, leaning against the bar with a drink in his hand.
"Where is everyone?" she asked.
"Oh, everyone vacated on account of me taking over," Lucifer replied without turning to her. Instead he focussed on pouring himself a drink. "Since our dear friend Tio is under investigation, he lost his lease, so I did a little digging and found the owner. A deeply unpleasant man by the name of Dean Cooper. You wouldn't believe the deal I had to strike for my lease – all completely legal, if somewhat morally ambiguous."
Chloe walked towards him. Was this what he wanted to talk about? "How could you afford this place?"
"Well, ever since the bank was first invented, I've been putting away money whenever I visit," he explained. "The value of that money has been building up over time and, well, let's just say I might be the richest man in the world."
He finally turned…to reveal cuts across his face which weren't there the day before. It looked like they were healing nicely, but they still looked painful.
"Your face… What happened?" Chloe asked.
"Mm?" He looked confused for a moment before realizing what she was referring to. "Oh! Sorry, this, yes… Just a little, you know, squabble with my bro."
"You and Amenadiel had a fight?"
"It was about time. But after what he said, he deserved everything he got."
Chloe frowned. Clearly something had gone down between the two brothers since she'd last seen them, and Lucifer looked pretty beat up…but not just on the outside. There was no smile, and his eyes almost looked…haunting. "You wanna talk about it?"
His scoff was full of sarcasm. "Where do I begin? With the grandest fall in the history of time? Or perhaps the far more agonizing punishment that followed? You probably can't even imagine it; being blamed for every morsel of evil humanity has endured, every atrocity committed in my name…as though I wanted people to suffer…" His voice broke a little. "No one wants to be a custodian of the world's filth, and yet, just because I had a little argument with my Father, I was chucked out of Heaven and sent to do the job."
"That's…" Chloe couldn't think of a single thing to say in response. He was right; she couldn't imagine what it would feel like, trying to do a job and being hated by everyone for it, being blamed for the actions of those he punished.
She looked at Lucifer, and no longer did she just see a charming asshole…but also a man who had been broken, and didn't know how to pick up the pieces and put himself back together again. Her heart swelled with a desire to help him.
Lucifer consumed the entire contents of his glass before he continued. "I thought that maybe if I played a part in his plan, I'd finally be recognized for it, but… Even my own brother thinks I'm nothing but evil."
What? "Wait… Amenadiel called you evil?"
"He did, indeed." He let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Right before his fight. So, I decided to replace his opponent and gave him a good right hook."
Chloe honestly couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Let me see if I have this right: you helped your brother find something he lost, even though he'd come to drag you back to a place you hate, and that's how he repaid you?"
Before Lucifer could say anything more, someone appeared from the balcony and walked down the stairs. It was Amenadiel, and he gave them both a once over with a look of confusion. "Luci, why are we back here? It's time for us to leave."
It was scary, how quickly the anger boiled inside her, but she didn't fight it. The surge of protectiveness flared up in response to everything Lucifer had told her, and she realized…if no one was going to stand up for this man, then she was. It was about damn time someone did.
Without a second thought she crossed the space separating her from Amenadiel and slapped him clean across his face. Her hand stung, but it was totally worth it when she saw the look of shock on the angel's face.
"I wish I can make that hurt," she muttered angrily. "What the Hell is wrong with you?!"
His confusion was back. "I don't think I understand…"
"Oh, you don't understand? I guess that means you're nothing but a self-righteous prick! Your brother was trying to help you. He could've just left you here stumbling around on your own, on a wild goose chase trying to find some jewellery that probably would've been long gone by now if things had gone differently. But he didn't. And how do you repay him? By saying he's evil, right to his face. As if everything he did to help you didn't even matter."
Amenadiel sighed and looked down on her, his expression reaching the highest level of condescending. "You're new to this, Officer Decker. You lack a full understanding of what my brother has done and what he's capable of-"
She slapped him again. "Maybe I am new to this, but I have eyes! I've seen evil. My job means I have to deal with evil every week, in many different forms. Sure, Lucifer can be an ass…but he's not evil. And if you weren't so far up your own ass, then maybe you would see that."
He only stared at her, his expression unchanged, so she gave up. Her hand hurt, and she turned away from him with a wince.
"I'll get you some ice, Chloe," said Lucifer. He was looking behind the bar, his face partially hidden from her view, but she managed to catch the surprise and possibly even awe in his eyes. It made her feel a little better.
A bag of ice was handed to her, and she placed it on her hand to ease the pain. She gave Lucifer a smile. "Thanks."
"It's a shame to see that my brother has corrupted you, Officer," said Amenadiel. "But I suppose there's nothing I can do about it now. Humans are meant to have free will, and it's your choice."
She sighed, her gaze averting skyward. There was no use trying to get through to him; clearly, she was talking to a brick wall. "Just get lost."
"I intend to." He turned to address Lucifer. "We've been here on Earth long enough. Let's go."
The Devil grinned, and Chloe had a feeling that he was up to something. "Yes, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about: I'm not leaving."
Amenadiel actually looked amused by his brother's words; like he thought he was joking. "What?" Chloe couldn't wait for him to figure out that Lucifer was actually serious. Because she could tell by the look on his face that he was; he wanted to stay on Earth, and in LA.
And Chloe would be lying if she said she didn't want him to stay, too.
"I'm saying that I've realized something here in this city of angels – that I really am no longer one anymore." Lucifer walked up to one of the dancing polls and swung around it. "And if that's true, then why am I still trying to please Father?" He walked back over to them, shaking his head. "Eons – eons – spent condemned to my fate in Hell, and yet I'm still trying to seek His approval." He picked up a bottle of wine and refilled his glass. With his eyes he sent Chloe a silent offer of a drink, but she shook her head. "Still playing a part in His play! Well no more, brother." The glass was refilled, and he picked it up again. "He abandoned me, so why shouldn't I abandon Him? It's time I accept how everyone else sees me: the rebel." He took a sip from his glass while Amenadiel watched silently in disapproval. "As a wise woman once said to me: 'If you really want to rebel, move to LA'."
"Stop." Amenadiel had figured out that his brother wasn't joking, though his expression wasn't over-the-top anger; he just looked tired. "Lucifer, as much as I am moved by your sentiment-"
"Liar," Chloe couldn't resist saying under her breath while not-so-subtly hiding it under a cough. Lucifer grinned at her.
Amenadiel didn't even acknowledge her interruption before he continued. "…unfortunately, that's a 'no'. You are coming back to Hell with me. There's no discussion."
The air was tense, and Chloe had a feeling that Amenadiel was going to drag his brother back to Hell kicking and screaming if he had to. And she knew there was probably nothing she could do to stop him. They were angels; two powerful forces of nature. She doubted she'd be able to do anything if she got in between them, and their 'no kill' rule probably didn't stop them from hurting a human non-fatally.
But then Lucifer's expression changed, and she realized that he had a plan to get out of this. "Yes…you see, this is where it gets interesting. We made a deal, didn't we? For a favour to be named later. Later is now. And my ask is quite simple: leave me be."
"You know I can't do that."
"Isn't it a sin for an angel to break a vow?"
That was when Amenadiel's expression changed. He looked down, defeated, and in that moment Chloe knew it was over. Lucifer was staying.
But just to make sure, she stepped closer to them and tapped Amenadiel on the shoulder. She didn't speak until he turned to her. "You said that human rules don't apply to you. And in times of crisis, I'm willing to accept that they don't. But you got your necklace back, and the world is safe; there isn't a crisis anymore. So, in times like this, I think human rules should apply to you so long as you're on Earth." She put the ice bag down, took out her badge and held it up. "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the premises, on the request of the owner of this establishment."
She couldn't resist the grin that crept across her face. Lucifer chuckled. "You heard the woman, brother. It's time for you to go."
The other angel looked angry, but resigned. He knew there was nothing he could do. "Father will be furious," he said to Lucifer. "And you will suffer His wrath."
"Well…" Lucifer took a step closer, his voice low, "then He knows where to find me."
Amenadiel didn't have anything else left to say; he simply gave Lucifer a pat on the shoulder before leaving, and Chloe watched him carefully to make sure he did leave. When he was gone, she turned her gaze back to Lucifer, who was leaning back against the bar and observing the room with a smile on his face.
He looked so…carefree. She'd seen him happy before, but this was something else. It was as though a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders.
"What are you thinking?" she asked, putting her badge away.
"This place could use a piano," he replied.
Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "You play?"
"I can play anything. Music used to be one of my specialities back in the Silver City, before… Well, you know." He poured another glass before sliding it along the bar towards her. "Come on, indulge yourself. You're off duty now."
After a moment of thought, Chloe shrugged and picked up the glass. One drink wouldn't hurt. "To new beginnings."
She raised it, and he clicked his own glass against hers before they both took a sip. Then, after a few moments of comfortable silence, Lucifer spoke again. "I suppose I should…thank you, Chloe. I've never really had anyone defend me before. Well, except for Maze, but that's her job. And her idea of defending me is dismembering my opponent."
"Yeah, well, if she's staying too, then you're gonna have to tell her not to do that," Chloe told him. "And you're welcome." Lucifer just gave her a nod before sipping his drink again. More moments of comfortable silence followed, before Chloe asked, "So, what are you gonna do now?"
"Plenty of things," he replied. "I think I might turn this into a night club. Sort of a piano bar. I need to buy myself a whole new wardrobe. Get myself a phone so I can call you whenever I want."
"Of course you're gonna do that." She knew she wasn't getting rid of him now. Part of her was glad. Another part of her was dreading the thought of teaching the Devil and a demon how to behave in the real world.
"But first," He put his empty glass down, "I need to send Dad the grandest of all birds."
Chloe's eyes narrowed. "And how are you gonna do that?"
He gave her a weak smile. "If I told you, you wouldn't like it."
"Try me."
There was a moment of hesitation on his part before he sighed. "I'm going to cut my wings off."
If she'd been drinking, she would've spat it out at his words. "What?!"
"See? Dismemberment tends to be a conversation-stopper for you humans."
She slammed her glass down on the bar. "You can't just cut your wings off! That's like cutting off an arm or a leg! Look, I get that you're rebelling against you Dad, and you want to show Him that you're going to be your own man. And that's great. But mutilating yourself is not going to help. Self-harm is never the answer; it's not for humans, and I should think it's the same for celestials, as well."
"But you don't understand." Lucifer put his glass down too, though not as forcefully. "I need to show my Father that I'm never going back to Hell."
"You know, just staying here I think is a big enough message," she tried to explain. "Cutting off your wings isn't going to send the message…more. It's just going to cause you pain."
"It'll be worth it!"
Chloe rubbed her temples. She had to stop him from hurting himself, she had to… Thinking over everything he'd said to her since they'd met, something struck her. "You said you had to fly down to Hell in order to get Maze, right?"
"Yes?"
"So, the only way you can get in and out of Hell is to fly there, right?"
"Unless someone stabs me with a demon knife and I die. Where are you going with this?"
How did he not get it? "Well, if you cut off your wings, you won't have a way to get back out of Hell again if something happens, like if you die or if a number of other angels come down and drag you back to Hell. You'll be stuck there forever."
He opened his mouth, ready to rebuff her argument…but no words came out. Realization crossed his face, and he sighed. "Bloody hell. That's a good point."
"You should really think these things through before acting all rash and rushing in with your eyes closed."
"But doing it any other way is boring!"
She rolled her eyes. "So you're not gonna cut them off?"
"No…they get to stay." He frowned at her, shaking his head. "You can be annoyingly persuasive. I can't quite put my finger on why I don't affect you."
"Affect me?" He'd mentioned that before. She was curious as to what he meant by that, since it was probably a Devil thing.
"I have the ability to draw out people's deepest desires," he explained. "I look them in the eye, and they suddenly find themselves wanting to tell me everything. The more simple the human, the easier it is. The more complex, the more challenging. But whenever I try it on you, it doesn't seem to work. And I can't seem to figure out why."
Chloe shrugged. His power sounded interesting, and it explained the weird staring the previous day, but she couldn't think of any reason why it didn't work on her. "Maybe I'm just extra complex?"
"Oh, I'm sure it's something else." He slid along the bar towards her, that seductive smile making its comeback. "And I just can't wait to find out."
She held up her hand. "Still married."
"And that threesome is still on the table."
In that moment she knew he was going to totally drive her crazy for the rest of her life – but at least it would make her life a little more exciting.
AN: Just keeping this as a oneshot for now, because I really don't know where to take this. But if inspiration strikes then I'll add more.