Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to Shonda Rhimes and the people at ABC
Death of Adonis,
For god sake, I'm McSteamy; I'm the Seattle Grace Adonis. I am not supposed to break. But this little girl – little Alexandra Grey has managed to break me both physically and metaphorically. Adonis, not the god of Greek God of Vegetation and the life cycle, mind you the complexity that shrouds the myth of Adonis does seem to fit me. I mean Adonis in the sense of Youth and the ideal of the perfect male and I even admit that I have the ego, come on I am the Plastic Surgeon God. But lying here in Little Grey – Lexie's arms I feel so different it reminds of an Auguste Rodin piece I once saw called Death of Adonis.
Auguste Rodin, the French sculptor, conceived of the piece, it is basically Adonis lying in his lovers arms as he dies from being killed from a wild boar. As I lay in Lexie's arms I feel like she is the wild boar and the lover ruled into one. I was Adonis I was the perfect sculpted male. Through out my life I have been drawn to the blatant sexuality of Rodin's work especially in pieces such as 'The Kiss'. His work has almost a feeling of life in them, a suppleness to them that makes them almost human.
Derek knows that I admire Art, after all I am a plastic surgeon of course I admire the art and its beauty. But my passion for this sculptor is my own secret. Maybe it is because of who I am that I always seeking to find and capture true beauty. I think it is more than likely it is due to the rawness, depth and the truth in his pieces that appealed more than anything. And now my death has come as Adonis, this tiny 24 year-old intern, this slip of a girl, has managed what no other person has ever managed to do. Not even Addison.
I have never felt this much for one other person before in my life. Maybe Mama Shepherd was right, may be I do need young. I really don't know anything at the moment except I want the intern without an appendix to carry on guarding the door. I want to be held as long as possible by Little Grey. The sense of peace that has come over us is going to get me into so much trouble with my best friend. But, at this precise moment all I can think is screw the promise because being in her arms is so very worth it.
Will the comments, the whispers, the general gossip that this hospital thrives on matter? I honestly don't know. This past year I have grown up, maybe not the correct analogy, shall we saw matured. I am fed up with the solo live, the one-night stands, not the sex, mind you, just the whole life style.
Maybe this is it. Maybe this calmness is love and added to the passion we generate together maybe that is al I am seeking and maybe that is all there is.
But I do know this I may loss my best friend for good over my evolvement with her, but I have Callie's support, so I am not going to let her go. She seems made to be in my arms, made to live hopefully here forever. We shall see. Yet, I hope and pray that our relationship is no where near as dramatic as her Sister's and Derek's not that I don't think we wont cope more, I just don't want the drama. I want to know every secret, every dream and every hope. I want to know everything I can possibly know about her when she walks down the aisle to me.
Oh Crap, I am so screwed!